A Berkeley Story, chapter 17
Joey broke off to say, "Andrea, I better go."
"Why?" you asked. "What's wrong?"
"Well, it's getting late and -"
"Well that's never stopped you before."
"I know it's just -"
"What's wrong?"
"Can I finish?"
"Yeah, sorry. Go ahead."
"It's just...this is what we do everynight... I mean, don't you wanna do something different for a change?" You leaned in and kissed him, then said,
"Well, whatever you want... I don't care. All I care about is you. I want to spend all of my time with you."
"And I wanna spend all my time with you, too. It's just...what relationship is based on just making out everynight?"
"Well, what do you want to do?"
"Well...umm, we could go out to parties... or go down to the beach...or..." He slowly slid forward and kissed you. You deepened it, but then broke off.
"I thought you didn't want to make out anymore?"
*** Joey's Point Of View***
I thought to myself, I CAN'T HELP IT! When she was sitting there, she just looked so damn innocent and sweet... I couldn't tell her my true reason for wanting to "do something new." I just couldn't even try. When she asked why I was kissing her again, I wanted to say, "Because I don't think we should do what I wanted after all...", but I knew she would be suspicious. God, I didn't want to lie to her. It's eating me inside. I wish I could tell her the truth. But I can't. he looked so, so beautiful with her fear that I was breaking up with her. I thought of saying "Don't worry I'm not breaking up with you..." but I figured she would want to know more than ever what I DID want. And, as I said, I can't bring myself to tell her. I need to talk to someone, so this isn't wearing me away anymore. I'll talk to one of her friends. They can surely help me. They should know how she would react. But then again... what if they don't know? What if this pain is going to be inside of me, until I feel that I have to ask Andrea... and what if, when I do, she takes it the way that I'm afraid she will? Then what will become of our relationship? Of us? Dammit, I just need to talk to someone. But who? Who could possibly understand how she would react? And whoever I ask, what if they react the way I think Andrea will? Fuck! Why do I have to do this to myself? WHY?! Why can't I see this wonderful girl sitting right in front of me? Why is she blocked by my fucking desires?! I need to tell her... if I can't trust her to take it well... then that will just test our relationship. And if the test fails, I'll just have to regret it...and somehow move on...
*** End of Joey's Point of View ***
{Note: Yes, I know... I'm a hopeless romantic... but you gotta say, that was PreTTy deep... sounds like something Shakepere might have written...}
***Your Point of View***
I know what he wants. I know how he feels. But, I don't know what I'm going to do about it...the bad part is... I'm wishing for the same...but what if I'm not wanting what he wants? What if I briing it up, and it jepordises our realtionship? But, if it is what he wishes for...maybe if I ask him...and kind of lead into something that will make him tell...maybe we can get through this....together.
You both were lost in your trail of thoughts. Then you said, "Joey... I need to ask you something..."
"I need to ask you something too...about why I want something different."
"Oh, okay. When you say different...do you mean a different person?"
"No! Never." You smiled.
"Oh, okay good."
"I mean...something different."
"Really...because I was thinking something different too..."
"Okay, let's stop these metaphors," Joey said quickly, standing up. He seemed annoyed in a way. You shot up after him and grabbed his hand.
"Joey? You can tell me anything."
"...Anything...?"
"Yes."
"Well," he sighed, "okay. Andrea." He took your other hand and looked into your eyes. "Andrea... I, I love you."
"You do? I love you too!" You kissed him.
"So, what is still wrong?" you asked.
"Well," he started. The two of you sat down again, still hand-in-hand. "... do you want to..." You stared at him with a slight smile. He mumbled a sentence.
"Excuse me?" you asked.
"Okay! Do YOU want to have sex???" Your eyes were as big as quarters once again. You opened your mouth to talk, but couldn't. "See? I knew this is what you would be like," Joey said. He stood up and ran out the door. He was almost to his room when you grabbed his arm.
"Joey... it's okay. Do you want to have sex?"
"Well... I love you. And, I don't see why not...wait. Do you?"
"Well I love you too. So..." you smiled flirtaciously. Joey's eyes were wide and he had a cute smile on. You took his hand and led him back to your dorm, and into your room...
(Yeah, basically you guys can have your sick little fantasy of that in your mind... cuz im not like ERICA!!!! lol jk luv ya erica... yea...sure I do...)
"Why?" you asked. "What's wrong?"
"Well, it's getting late and -"
"Well that's never stopped you before."
"I know it's just -"
"What's wrong?"
"Can I finish?"
"Yeah, sorry. Go ahead."
"It's just...this is what we do everynight... I mean, don't you wanna do something different for a change?" You leaned in and kissed him, then said,
"Well, whatever you want... I don't care. All I care about is you. I want to spend all of my time with you."
"And I wanna spend all my time with you, too. It's just...what relationship is based on just making out everynight?"
"Well, what do you want to do?"
"Well...umm, we could go out to parties... or go down to the beach...or..." He slowly slid forward and kissed you. You deepened it, but then broke off.
"I thought you didn't want to make out anymore?"
*** Joey's Point Of View***
I thought to myself, I CAN'T HELP IT! When she was sitting there, she just looked so damn innocent and sweet... I couldn't tell her my true reason for wanting to "do something new." I just couldn't even try. When she asked why I was kissing her again, I wanted to say, "Because I don't think we should do what I wanted after all...", but I knew she would be suspicious. God, I didn't want to lie to her. It's eating me inside. I wish I could tell her the truth. But I can't. he looked so, so beautiful with her fear that I was breaking up with her. I thought of saying "Don't worry I'm not breaking up with you..." but I figured she would want to know more than ever what I DID want. And, as I said, I can't bring myself to tell her. I need to talk to someone, so this isn't wearing me away anymore. I'll talk to one of her friends. They can surely help me. They should know how she would react. But then again... what if they don't know? What if this pain is going to be inside of me, until I feel that I have to ask Andrea... and what if, when I do, she takes it the way that I'm afraid she will? Then what will become of our relationship? Of us? Dammit, I just need to talk to someone. But who? Who could possibly understand how she would react? And whoever I ask, what if they react the way I think Andrea will? Fuck! Why do I have to do this to myself? WHY?! Why can't I see this wonderful girl sitting right in front of me? Why is she blocked by my fucking desires?! I need to tell her... if I can't trust her to take it well... then that will just test our relationship. And if the test fails, I'll just have to regret it...and somehow move on...
*** End of Joey's Point of View ***
{Note: Yes, I know... I'm a hopeless romantic... but you gotta say, that was PreTTy deep... sounds like something Shakepere might have written...}
***Your Point of View***
I know what he wants. I know how he feels. But, I don't know what I'm going to do about it...the bad part is... I'm wishing for the same...but what if I'm not wanting what he wants? What if I briing it up, and it jepordises our realtionship? But, if it is what he wishes for...maybe if I ask him...and kind of lead into something that will make him tell...maybe we can get through this....together.
You both were lost in your trail of thoughts. Then you said, "Joey... I need to ask you something..."
"I need to ask you something too...about why I want something different."
"Oh, okay. When you say different...do you mean a different person?"
"No! Never." You smiled.
"Oh, okay good."
"I mean...something different."
"Really...because I was thinking something different too..."
"Okay, let's stop these metaphors," Joey said quickly, standing up. He seemed annoyed in a way. You shot up after him and grabbed his hand.
"Joey? You can tell me anything."
"...Anything...?"
"Yes."
"Well," he sighed, "okay. Andrea." He took your other hand and looked into your eyes. "Andrea... I, I love you."
"You do? I love you too!" You kissed him.
"So, what is still wrong?" you asked.
"Well," he started. The two of you sat down again, still hand-in-hand. "... do you want to..." You stared at him with a slight smile. He mumbled a sentence.
"Excuse me?" you asked.
"Okay! Do YOU want to have sex???" Your eyes were as big as quarters once again. You opened your mouth to talk, but couldn't. "See? I knew this is what you would be like," Joey said. He stood up and ran out the door. He was almost to his room when you grabbed his arm.
"Joey... it's okay. Do you want to have sex?"
"Well... I love you. And, I don't see why not...wait. Do you?"
"Well I love you too. So..." you smiled flirtaciously. Joey's eyes were wide and he had a cute smile on. You took his hand and led him back to your dorm, and into your room...
(Yeah, basically you guys can have your sick little fantasy of that in your mind... cuz im not like ERICA!!!! lol jk luv ya erica... yea...sure I do...)
