A Berkeley Story, chapter 26
"I should have known... what I was in for. I should've hit the ground running, but I never saw it coming. You always acted like you'd never been thru this before... how would I have figured out? What do you take me for? Now I know you're just a joke. They're gonna settle the score, gonna know you're just a joke. Break, break, but you cannot lie... they're gonna know, they're gonna know... In your face when I see a shallow disgrace... You left behind memories of your taste..."
You couldn't stop crying. Yea, you felt like a stupid little teenager... but who doesn't go thru this at least once, really? You may have been young... but it felt right. Ooooh, what to do, what to do?
"I SHOULD HAVE KNOWN WHAT I WAS IN FOR."
Oh my, the tears just kept coming. Hmm, Bleed the Dream usually never had this kind of effect on you... but, then again, you'd never really been this hurt... well for not for a long time. There was a knock at the door, but you really didn't feel like getting up to have company come in. They knocked again.
"Grrr, fine come in if you goddamn have to!" You yelled.
"Andrea? Awww baby it's okay." Thank God... it was Stella.
"Hey Stella," you quietly said. She came over and slumped down in front of the couch beside you, moving the tissue box up behind her on the couch.
"Look... I know you wanna help, but I don't really feel like talking right now," you said after a while of silence.
"I know... but listen... Ramona... well, Ramona just has... problems making friends... and then extreme problems getting a boyfriend... you see, Joey was the only one she ever really had... it's complicated..."
"Look, it's cool, I get it..."
"No... I don't think you do-"
"Stel, I know." "... You know.. What?"
"Alright how can I put this... okay, three words: Billie, Mike, Tre. I know."
"Ahhh shit, how'd you find out?" You glared at her. "Joey?" she asked, getting the point.
"Yep. That little-"
"Alright, well since you know.. It'll make the story nice and short; it's not easy for us to get friends... usually people recognize us, ya know... so whenever someone tries to be our 'friend' they're using us. But you... you didn't seem to know us... how come?"
"Actually, I just put it together haha."
"Oooh, well that clears that up.. But anyway, back to the little story here, Ramona has this idea that she'll only ever be used.. And the only people who wouldn't use her would be people like her... Joey and me. We're really her only support. She's too afraid to try and make friends anymore. And, anyways... she still only trusts Joey. She thinks it's love... but really it's only friendship." "Yea, but why'd he have to kiss her back? I mean, usually 'friends' don't do that." "Yea... see, I wish I could answer that, but Joey's the only one that can tell you that... I think maybe it's because-"
"It's because I still love her," that voice. Oh God, how you did not want to hear that voice right now. "I'm sorry, but she trusts me so much... I can't break her heart... you never know what she'll end up doing," he said.
"Joey, go away, I'm tired of cleaning shit up for you," Stella said.
"Stella, stop-"
"No, you stop. Fucking stop RIGHT NOW! I DON'T WANT YOU IN MY FUCKING ROOM, I DON'T WANT TO SEE YOUR FUCKING FACE, AND I DON'T EVEN WANT TO THINK ABOUT YOU. GO TO HELL!" you suddenly said, shooting up, and running to the balcony, tissue in hand. You slid the door closed, and grabbed onto the railing. You heard more yelling coming from inside, and then what you were waiting for... so predictable that child; Joey slid open the door and came to stand next to you.
"I'm sorry. I'm not going to lie to you. I still love the girl... as a friend. A true friend. She kissed me."
"Well I sure as Hell didn't see you fighting her off," you sternly said. You did not move your gaze from where you had your eyes set. You wouldn't look at him. So.. We're going to take a guess and say.. That kind of pissed him off some...
"Oh my God. You are SO FUCKING HARD HEADED. God.Won't even fucking look at me!"
"Well I'm FUCKING SORRY! USUALLY A GIRL DOESN'T WANT TO LOOK AT THE BOYFRIEND THAT SHE TRUSTED AND LOVED WITH ALL OF HER HEART... right after he just KISSED ANOTHER GIRL."
"Like you never had feelings for ANYONE ELSE!"
"NO JOEY. NO! I swear TO GOD, I NEVER loved anyone... like I loved you."
"Well, I'm sorry. I'm sorry for letting her kiss me... and most of all, I'm sorry that you don't understand."
"Well, Joey... you know what I'm sorry for?" you said quietly.
"What?" "I'm sorry... that..." you started to walk back inside... you stepped in the door, pulled it almost shut, and waited for him to turn to face you. He came up close to you just as you planned.
You kissed him; one of the most loving, yet quick kisses you can imagine; opened your eyes back up, and clearly said, "... that it's over," and shut the door.
You couldn't stop crying. Yea, you felt like a stupid little teenager... but who doesn't go thru this at least once, really? You may have been young... but it felt right. Ooooh, what to do, what to do?
"I SHOULD HAVE KNOWN WHAT I WAS IN FOR."
Oh my, the tears just kept coming. Hmm, Bleed the Dream usually never had this kind of effect on you... but, then again, you'd never really been this hurt... well for not for a long time. There was a knock at the door, but you really didn't feel like getting up to have company come in. They knocked again.
"Grrr, fine come in if you goddamn have to!" You yelled.
"Andrea? Awww baby it's okay." Thank God... it was Stella.
"Hey Stella," you quietly said. She came over and slumped down in front of the couch beside you, moving the tissue box up behind her on the couch.
"Look... I know you wanna help, but I don't really feel like talking right now," you said after a while of silence.
"I know... but listen... Ramona... well, Ramona just has... problems making friends... and then extreme problems getting a boyfriend... you see, Joey was the only one she ever really had... it's complicated..."
"Look, it's cool, I get it..."
"No... I don't think you do-"
"Stel, I know." "... You know.. What?"
"Alright how can I put this... okay, three words: Billie, Mike, Tre. I know."
"Ahhh shit, how'd you find out?" You glared at her. "Joey?" she asked, getting the point.
"Yep. That little-"
"Alright, well since you know.. It'll make the story nice and short; it's not easy for us to get friends... usually people recognize us, ya know... so whenever someone tries to be our 'friend' they're using us. But you... you didn't seem to know us... how come?"
"Actually, I just put it together haha."
"Oooh, well that clears that up.. But anyway, back to the little story here, Ramona has this idea that she'll only ever be used.. And the only people who wouldn't use her would be people like her... Joey and me. We're really her only support. She's too afraid to try and make friends anymore. And, anyways... she still only trusts Joey. She thinks it's love... but really it's only friendship." "Yea, but why'd he have to kiss her back? I mean, usually 'friends' don't do that." "Yea... see, I wish I could answer that, but Joey's the only one that can tell you that... I think maybe it's because-"
"It's because I still love her," that voice. Oh God, how you did not want to hear that voice right now. "I'm sorry, but she trusts me so much... I can't break her heart... you never know what she'll end up doing," he said.
"Joey, go away, I'm tired of cleaning shit up for you," Stella said.
"Stella, stop-"
"No, you stop. Fucking stop RIGHT NOW! I DON'T WANT YOU IN MY FUCKING ROOM, I DON'T WANT TO SEE YOUR FUCKING FACE, AND I DON'T EVEN WANT TO THINK ABOUT YOU. GO TO HELL!" you suddenly said, shooting up, and running to the balcony, tissue in hand. You slid the door closed, and grabbed onto the railing. You heard more yelling coming from inside, and then what you were waiting for... so predictable that child; Joey slid open the door and came to stand next to you.
"I'm sorry. I'm not going to lie to you. I still love the girl... as a friend. A true friend. She kissed me."
"Well I sure as Hell didn't see you fighting her off," you sternly said. You did not move your gaze from where you had your eyes set. You wouldn't look at him. So.. We're going to take a guess and say.. That kind of pissed him off some...
"Oh my God. You are SO FUCKING HARD HEADED. God.Won't even fucking look at me!"
"Well I'm FUCKING SORRY! USUALLY A GIRL DOESN'T WANT TO LOOK AT THE BOYFRIEND THAT SHE TRUSTED AND LOVED WITH ALL OF HER HEART... right after he just KISSED ANOTHER GIRL."
"Like you never had feelings for ANYONE ELSE!"
"NO JOEY. NO! I swear TO GOD, I NEVER loved anyone... like I loved you."
"Well, I'm sorry. I'm sorry for letting her kiss me... and most of all, I'm sorry that you don't understand."
"Well, Joey... you know what I'm sorry for?" you said quietly.
"What?" "I'm sorry... that..." you started to walk back inside... you stepped in the door, pulled it almost shut, and waited for him to turn to face you. He came up close to you just as you planned.
You kissed him; one of the most loving, yet quick kisses you can imagine; opened your eyes back up, and clearly said, "... that it's over," and shut the door.
