Scattered, chapter 1
"God why is it so cold in here?" I asked Billie.
"Cause I'm the only thing that needs to keep you warm, my honey bun!" Billie pulled me into a hug.
"Honey bun?" I asked puzzled.
"Yes, you're my honey bun," Billie whispered into my ear.
"Ok but why is it so damn cold in here?" I questioned
"Cause you're all the warmness I need May!" Billie gave me a kiss.
"Oh cut the crap, just because it's warm out in May doesn't mean I'm going to keep it warm in hear! Now stop being silly and start the fire be for I freeze to death!" I told Billie pulling him in for a warm hug.
"Oh fine you win, your hands are truly cold," Billie said.
"Oh yah." I lifted up Billie's shirt and placed my cold hands on his back.
"Holy shit you are cold," Billie jumped.
"Told ya so," I laughed.
"Yah. I'll go light the fire and get you a blanket," Billie laughed.
"Ok!" I sat down on the sofa.
"Oh my God it's snowing out," Billie yelled.
"What?"
"It's snowing."
"What? No way it's only November 1st," I said sarcastically.
"I know it's so crazy."
"Not really," I laughed. "Now where's that blanket?"
"I don't know, but I have a great idea."
"What?"
"Let's go play in the snow."
"What are you crazy? I'm cold enough as it is, I don't need to go out in the snow."
"Yes, I am crazy!" Billie started to put on his shoes and grabbing his jacket. "Now come on!" Billie grabbed my arm.
"Ok, alright, ok, alright, just let me grab my jacket!" I slipped on my shoes and we were off.
Outside
"It's so nice out here." Billie watched as his breath leave him in big white clouds.
"Sure is. I've never seen the sky such a dark blue, and the snowflakes are beautiful.
"I'm glade we came out tonight." I kissed Billie.
"So am I!" Billie lay down on the ground.
"You can see a lot of stars tonight." Billie pulled me down with him.
It was really nice to be lying on the ground with my head on Billie's chest. It made me feel happy, I could careless about being cold, and that there was snowflake falling on my face. I was just so happy to be with Billie again, and to be able to walk. After my big car crash a lot had change, and I thought Billie would have left me, but he didn't, and I find the will in me to walk again. I was lying there thinking, when a cold hand came across my face.
"You know, you look so beautiful with these big white snow flakes in your brown hair," Billie grinned.
"Thanks." I whipped the snow off my faces.
"You look so beautiful right now, that I could kiss you and never stop!" said Billie giving me a kiss.
"Oh come on Billie we're out side can't you wait till we get home before we start anything?" I asked.
"No, I can't wait any longer," Billie said pulling my head back down so our lips touched each other.
"Fine." I kissing him back, inviting his tongue into my mouth. We rolled around on the ground until someone came up to us and asked to leave. We left laughing.
By the time we got home the snow had stopped. It was about 11: 30 when we got in. I was ready for bed, and I wasn't too cold once Billie and I finished what we started at the park. Billie had fallen asleep and I lay awake on his chest. It was around 12:30 before I feel asleep, think about how lucky I was to be with Billie Joe.
Next Morning
The next morning, Billie woke up and just watched me sleep. I ended waking up a little when he ran his fingers through my hair, but it didn't bother me, so I didn't get up.
"May?" Billie questioned.
"Yes?"
"I love you; I want you to know that."
"I love you too Billie." Billie kissed me softly and I fell back asleep, feeling safe and warm in his arms.
About an hour later, I awoke to a doctor at my bed side.
"What is he doing here?" I asked Billie.
"You stopped breathing, so I called the doctor."
"I did? Oh, Billie, I'm so sorry about this."
"Miss, it's not your fault." The doctor said as he packed up his stuff and started leaving.
"I'm just so helpless, and I feel so bad about putting you through all this."
"May, you're not helpless. I mean you can't be, you're my inspiration, and you're the one who keeps me going everyday."
"No, Billie, I'm not the one that keeps you going, you do that yourself. And me being sick all the time isn't helping you any. So you know what? I don't know if I want to keep doin this to you." I said.
"Doing what to me?" Billie asked.
"I mean, I'm just another pain in the ass for you."
"No, no, you're not. Why would you even think that May? I love you, and I'd give anything up for you."
"I know that, and I don't want you giving up anything cause of me. So I think its best that I go back to the hospital, and you forget about me."
"May why are you talking like this, I love you, I could never forget you."
"You can, I know you can. You're a good man; I bet you can find a nice pretty woman."
'"May, you're the only woman I'll ever need. I love you to pieces."
"Billie, if you really love me, you'd let me go and forget about me."
"No, I can't." Tears rolled down Billie's face.
"Billie, I don't want you having to watch me the rest of your life. You won't be able to play with your music, and I know how much it means to you. I don't want to be the one to hold you back. So let me go. Billie, Let me go back to the hospital." Tears were now in my eyes.
"May!" Billie sobbed.
"Billie, don't make this any harder than it already is. I mean, this isn't easy for me." I started to cry.
"May, No!"
"Billie we can be friends," I said this thinking that I'd most likely never have a romantic relationship with Billie ever again. These words hurt Billie, I could see it in his face; he looked so warn down and upset.
"Please just do this one last thing for me."
"All right May, I'll do it; I'll do it for you. But once you get out, I want you to look me up. You understand?" Billie asked.
"Yes I do. But while I'm in the hospital, I want you to forget about me. I don't want you thinking about me at all."
"I'll try, but can't I have just one memory?" Billie asked. Then he kissed me.
"One." I began to cry again, knowing what I had just done was a big mistake, but also knowing that if I made Billie stay with me, that would be a mistake as well.
"It's ok," Billie said, taking my hand.
"I know, I know. Here, I want you to have this," I said, taking my old pick necklace off.
"What? No, I can't take this, that's your first bass pick."
"I know, but I want you to keep it, it can be your memory." I gave Billie a weak smile.
"Alright," Billie said, holding it in his hands.
"Yah."
"Do you want me to call the hospital?"
"Yes, I'll pack up my clothes and then we'll be on our different ways."
"Alright, I mean if that's what you really want."
"It is." I managed to say, without breaking down.
Once I had gotten everything together, Billie and I drove to the hospital, where I would be staying.
In the hospital
"Ok, here's your room Miss."
"So this is really good bye?" Billie asked emotionally.
"Yes it is. I'm sorry for all the shit I've put you through, and Billie, I will always love you." I kissed Billie one last time before he left.
"I love you too," Billie whispered as he walked away.
I got in my room, and flopped down on the bed, and began to cry.
"I just let the best man in my life walk away from me."
"Are you ok Miss?" The doctor asked.
"Yes, I am," I looked out the window, watching Billie's old blue beat up car pull out of the parking lot.
"Cause I'm the only thing that needs to keep you warm, my honey bun!" Billie pulled me into a hug.
"Honey bun?" I asked puzzled.
"Yes, you're my honey bun," Billie whispered into my ear.
"Ok but why is it so damn cold in here?" I questioned
"Cause you're all the warmness I need May!" Billie gave me a kiss.
"Oh cut the crap, just because it's warm out in May doesn't mean I'm going to keep it warm in hear! Now stop being silly and start the fire be for I freeze to death!" I told Billie pulling him in for a warm hug.
"Oh fine you win, your hands are truly cold," Billie said.
"Oh yah." I lifted up Billie's shirt and placed my cold hands on his back.
"Holy shit you are cold," Billie jumped.
"Told ya so," I laughed.
"Yah. I'll go light the fire and get you a blanket," Billie laughed.
"Ok!" I sat down on the sofa.
"Oh my God it's snowing out," Billie yelled.
"What?"
"It's snowing."
"What? No way it's only November 1st," I said sarcastically.
"I know it's so crazy."
"Not really," I laughed. "Now where's that blanket?"
"I don't know, but I have a great idea."
"What?"
"Let's go play in the snow."
"What are you crazy? I'm cold enough as it is, I don't need to go out in the snow."
"Yes, I am crazy!" Billie started to put on his shoes and grabbing his jacket. "Now come on!" Billie grabbed my arm.
"Ok, alright, ok, alright, just let me grab my jacket!" I slipped on my shoes and we were off.
Outside
"It's so nice out here." Billie watched as his breath leave him in big white clouds.
"Sure is. I've never seen the sky such a dark blue, and the snowflakes are beautiful.
"I'm glade we came out tonight." I kissed Billie.
"So am I!" Billie lay down on the ground.
"You can see a lot of stars tonight." Billie pulled me down with him.
It was really nice to be lying on the ground with my head on Billie's chest. It made me feel happy, I could careless about being cold, and that there was snowflake falling on my face. I was just so happy to be with Billie again, and to be able to walk. After my big car crash a lot had change, and I thought Billie would have left me, but he didn't, and I find the will in me to walk again. I was lying there thinking, when a cold hand came across my face.
"You know, you look so beautiful with these big white snow flakes in your brown hair," Billie grinned.
"Thanks." I whipped the snow off my faces.
"You look so beautiful right now, that I could kiss you and never stop!" said Billie giving me a kiss.
"Oh come on Billie we're out side can't you wait till we get home before we start anything?" I asked.
"No, I can't wait any longer," Billie said pulling my head back down so our lips touched each other.
"Fine." I kissing him back, inviting his tongue into my mouth. We rolled around on the ground until someone came up to us and asked to leave. We left laughing.
By the time we got home the snow had stopped. It was about 11: 30 when we got in. I was ready for bed, and I wasn't too cold once Billie and I finished what we started at the park. Billie had fallen asleep and I lay awake on his chest. It was around 12:30 before I feel asleep, think about how lucky I was to be with Billie Joe.
Next Morning
The next morning, Billie woke up and just watched me sleep. I ended waking up a little when he ran his fingers through my hair, but it didn't bother me, so I didn't get up.
"May?" Billie questioned.
"Yes?"
"I love you; I want you to know that."
"I love you too Billie." Billie kissed me softly and I fell back asleep, feeling safe and warm in his arms.
About an hour later, I awoke to a doctor at my bed side.
"What is he doing here?" I asked Billie.
"You stopped breathing, so I called the doctor."
"I did? Oh, Billie, I'm so sorry about this."
"Miss, it's not your fault." The doctor said as he packed up his stuff and started leaving.
"I'm just so helpless, and I feel so bad about putting you through all this."
"May, you're not helpless. I mean you can't be, you're my inspiration, and you're the one who keeps me going everyday."
"No, Billie, I'm not the one that keeps you going, you do that yourself. And me being sick all the time isn't helping you any. So you know what? I don't know if I want to keep doin this to you." I said.
"Doing what to me?" Billie asked.
"I mean, I'm just another pain in the ass for you."
"No, no, you're not. Why would you even think that May? I love you, and I'd give anything up for you."
"I know that, and I don't want you giving up anything cause of me. So I think its best that I go back to the hospital, and you forget about me."
"May why are you talking like this, I love you, I could never forget you."
"You can, I know you can. You're a good man; I bet you can find a nice pretty woman."
'"May, you're the only woman I'll ever need. I love you to pieces."
"Billie, if you really love me, you'd let me go and forget about me."
"No, I can't." Tears rolled down Billie's face.
"Billie, I don't want you having to watch me the rest of your life. You won't be able to play with your music, and I know how much it means to you. I don't want to be the one to hold you back. So let me go. Billie, Let me go back to the hospital." Tears were now in my eyes.
"May!" Billie sobbed.
"Billie, don't make this any harder than it already is. I mean, this isn't easy for me." I started to cry.
"May, No!"
"Billie we can be friends," I said this thinking that I'd most likely never have a romantic relationship with Billie ever again. These words hurt Billie, I could see it in his face; he looked so warn down and upset.
"Please just do this one last thing for me."
"All right May, I'll do it; I'll do it for you. But once you get out, I want you to look me up. You understand?" Billie asked.
"Yes I do. But while I'm in the hospital, I want you to forget about me. I don't want you thinking about me at all."
"I'll try, but can't I have just one memory?" Billie asked. Then he kissed me.
"One." I began to cry again, knowing what I had just done was a big mistake, but also knowing that if I made Billie stay with me, that would be a mistake as well.
"It's ok," Billie said, taking my hand.
"I know, I know. Here, I want you to have this," I said, taking my old pick necklace off.
"What? No, I can't take this, that's your first bass pick."
"I know, but I want you to keep it, it can be your memory." I gave Billie a weak smile.
"Alright," Billie said, holding it in his hands.
"Yah."
"Do you want me to call the hospital?"
"Yes, I'll pack up my clothes and then we'll be on our different ways."
"Alright, I mean if that's what you really want."
"It is." I managed to say, without breaking down.
Once I had gotten everything together, Billie and I drove to the hospital, where I would be staying.
In the hospital
"Ok, here's your room Miss."
"So this is really good bye?" Billie asked emotionally.
"Yes it is. I'm sorry for all the shit I've put you through, and Billie, I will always love you." I kissed Billie one last time before he left.
"I love you too," Billie whispered as he walked away.
I got in my room, and flopped down on the bed, and began to cry.
"I just let the best man in my life walk away from me."
"Are you ok Miss?" The doctor asked.
"Yes, I am," I looked out the window, watching Billie's old blue beat up car pull out of the parking lot.
Page 1/28 | Next
