Scattered, chapter 3
Guestroom
"Where is that stupid pen?" Billie looked all over. "Found it."
Billie began to write more to the song he started last night.
"Please don't think I'm crazy I don't want you to understand my mind is growing hazy." Billie stopped writing.
"Billie, can I come in please?" Mike asked.
"Go to hell."
"What is wrong with you?"
"Leave me alone. Go away."
"Billie Joe Armstrong, pull yourself together."
Billie didn't answer and began writing more.
"To hell with your helping hand why don't you just leave me alone This conflict is my own Keep your sources away from me That's all."
"All right, you know what you win. When you're ready to come out, come out. But I'm not going to sit here and bag for you to come out."
"Good," Billie yelled.
"I swear to god your just a 2 year old, in a mans body."
"A damn smart 2 year old."
"Yes, Billie." Mike walked back to the kitchen.
"You yellin at him won't help," Ellie said.
"Well his no going to lessen any other way."
"Just let him come out when he's ready."
"I was planning on it," Mike said looking down the hall way.
Guestroom
"I lock myself inside my room I wanna be alone. With you around, you'll only add on I wanna be alone. It's been disturbed by my thoughts I wanna be alone. With you around, you'll only add on I wanna be alone. Please don't think I'm crazy I don't want you to understand my mind is growing hazy. To hell with your helping hand why don't you just leave me alone This conflict is my own Keep your sources away from me That's all I lock myself inside my room I wanna be alone With you around, you'll only add on I wanna be alone Its been disturbed by my thoughts I wanna be alone With you around, you'll only add on I wanna be alone Please don't think I'm crazy I don't want you to understand My mind is growing hazy To hell with your helping hand Why don't you just leave me alone This conflict is my own Keep your sources away from me That's all." Billie had finished his song.
"It's finish. What shall I call it? Hmmmmmm. I want to be alone. There we go. That's what It's called. I want to be alone!"
About an hour later Billie left the room.
"Ellie, I'm sorry I yelled at you."
"It's ok Billie. I know your going through a heard time." Ellie hugged Billie.
Billie got something to eat, said sorry to Mike and locked himself back in the guestroom. He began writing again. This time the song was about him and May, and how he missed her but couldn't tell her, and how he wished she never left him.
"I wish I could tell you But the words would come out wrong Oh if you only knew The way I felt for so long I know that we're worlds apart But I just don't seem to care These feelings in my heart Only with you I want to share The first time I caught a glimpse of you Then my thoughts were only of you I hope that when time goes by You will think the same about me Many nights awake I lie I only wish that you could see I know that we're only friends I hope this feeling never ends If I could only hold you It's the only thing I want to do. The first time I caught a glimpse of you Then my thoughts were only of you I'll go for miles Till I find you. You say you want to leave me But you can't choose I've gone thru pain Every day and night I feel my mind is going insane Something I can't fight Don't leave me Don't leave me A blank expression Covering your face I'm looking for directions For out of this place I start to wonder If you'll come back I feel the rain storming after thunder I can't hold back Don't leave me I'll go for miles Till I find you. You say you want to leave me But you can't choose I've gone thru pain Every day and night I feel my mind is going insane Something I can't fight Don't leave me."
Minutes turned to hours turned to days turned into weeks. Billie stayed in that room like, is was his holding place, or a dungeon.
"Billie you need to come out, you been in there for a week now."
"Ellie I am not coming out."
"At less come out for a shower."
"I don't need one."
"Billie you've been sitting in that room for week, you need a shower, and you also need to eat."
"Uh... .well I am hungry."
"Ok you can eat then go for a shower, and if you'd like to. You can lock yourself back "your" room.
"Well, I was already planning on doing that." Billie opened the door.
Billie looked very dirty he needed to shave. His cheeks where stained from crying, and his hair was all over the place. His eyes looked blood shot, and they where no longer a bright green, they looked dirty, like mud had been mixed into them, and he could hardly keep them open.
"What would you like to eat?" Ellie asked.
"I don't know. Where's Mike?"
"He went to the store," Ellie was lying to Billie. Mike had gone to the hospital to see if I'd come back to Billie.
At The Hospital (Mike and May)
"I'm here to see a May."
"May who?" The lady at the desk asked.
"May."
"I know that sir, but what's her last name."
"Shit I forget."
"Well then I can't help you sir."
"Hey. Mike what brings you here." I spotted Mike at the front desk.
"May. Can I go now?" Mike asked the lady.
"Yes. It seems like she knows you."
Me and Mike walked back to room and began to talk.
"So, how is life treating you?" I asked.
"I have a depressed Billie Joe at my house, which has locks himself in a guestroom, for hours on end."
"I'm sorry to hear that. So I guess it safe to say, he's not taking this well either."
"Yah. He hardly every comes out, and if his does leave the room, he's talking about you or he starts getting mad for no reason and then locks himself back in the room he's staying in," Mike explained, but stopped when he seen that tears were building up in my eyes.
"You know, I never wanted to hurt him. I mean I love Billie."
"I know you do, and I know he still loves you. So why don't you come home, back to Billie where you belong."
"Mike I can't."
"Sure you can. Why can't you?"
"Cuz, I've told Billie I didn't want him watching me."
"But he wants to. He wants to be there for you. Even when you're sick or when you're healthy. You being gone is killing him."
"Mike, What? You don't think I knew that. I love Billie to pieces, and it's just as hared for me to let him go. Every morning when I wake up to no one beside me I begin to cry, sometimes I start crying for no reason. Mike I miss Billie, and I know he misses me. But me going back is not going to fix anything." I began to cry.
"Yah it would."
"Mike no it won't. I mean it. Just forget about me coming back. Cuz it's not happening."
Mike looked at me, and wiped the tears off my face.
"May you're a trooper, and your hared headed. But I think it'd be best for both of you, if you went home."
"Mike no, I want you to leave, and never come back. You can tell Billie I love him, or whatever but I'm not leaving, so get that out of your head."
"Fine, well I will. May I'm going to miss you." Mike hugged me.
"I'll miss you too." I hugged Mike back.
Mike said goodbye and left me there to cry.
Billie and Ellie
"That was good thank you."
"No problem."
"Ok, I'm off for a shower." Billie put his plate in the sink.
Billie got in the shower and let the warm water run down his back. He thought about the night him and May, when out in the snow, and began to cry again. It seemed like Billie was a beaten child the way he always cried no matter what he was doing.
"Billie... are you ok in there?" Ellie asked when she over heard Billie crying.
"Yah." Billie managed to say.
Billie finished his shower and borrowed some of Mike's clothes.
"You look better; I bet you feeling better too," Ellie said.
"Ummm," Billie gave a weak grin.
"Hey Billie," Mike walking in, to find Billie on the couch.
"Hi."
"You feeling any better today?"
"Not really."
"Well at lest you're out of that room."
"Yah."
"Ellie can I talk to you?" Mike asked.
"Yah." Mike and Ellie walked into their bedroom.
"May's not coming back."
"No, why? Did she tell you why?"
"Cause she thinks it'd be easier for her and Billie to be a part then together."
"What? Why?"
"'Cause May, doesn't want Billie having to watch her."
"Well, I guess I can see where she's coming from, but if May could see how he's doing with out her, she'd come back wouldn't she?"
"No, I told May. She just said she going trough the same thing."
"Well, I could talk with her."
"No Ellie, she doesn't want us going back."
"Well are you going to tell Billie you went?"
"No. It would kill him even more to know that she wouldn't come back, knowing what she knows."
"I guess your right, alright while keep this between us." Ellie left the bedroom and joined Billie on the sofa.
"Where is that stupid pen?" Billie looked all over. "Found it."
Billie began to write more to the song he started last night.
"Please don't think I'm crazy I don't want you to understand my mind is growing hazy." Billie stopped writing.
"Billie, can I come in please?" Mike asked.
"Go to hell."
"What is wrong with you?"
"Leave me alone. Go away."
"Billie Joe Armstrong, pull yourself together."
Billie didn't answer and began writing more.
"To hell with your helping hand why don't you just leave me alone This conflict is my own Keep your sources away from me That's all."
"All right, you know what you win. When you're ready to come out, come out. But I'm not going to sit here and bag for you to come out."
"Good," Billie yelled.
"I swear to god your just a 2 year old, in a mans body."
"A damn smart 2 year old."
"Yes, Billie." Mike walked back to the kitchen.
"You yellin at him won't help," Ellie said.
"Well his no going to lessen any other way."
"Just let him come out when he's ready."
"I was planning on it," Mike said looking down the hall way.
Guestroom
"I lock myself inside my room I wanna be alone. With you around, you'll only add on I wanna be alone. It's been disturbed by my thoughts I wanna be alone. With you around, you'll only add on I wanna be alone. Please don't think I'm crazy I don't want you to understand my mind is growing hazy. To hell with your helping hand why don't you just leave me alone This conflict is my own Keep your sources away from me That's all I lock myself inside my room I wanna be alone With you around, you'll only add on I wanna be alone Its been disturbed by my thoughts I wanna be alone With you around, you'll only add on I wanna be alone Please don't think I'm crazy I don't want you to understand My mind is growing hazy To hell with your helping hand Why don't you just leave me alone This conflict is my own Keep your sources away from me That's all." Billie had finished his song.
"It's finish. What shall I call it? Hmmmmmm. I want to be alone. There we go. That's what It's called. I want to be alone!"
About an hour later Billie left the room.
"Ellie, I'm sorry I yelled at you."
"It's ok Billie. I know your going through a heard time." Ellie hugged Billie.
Billie got something to eat, said sorry to Mike and locked himself back in the guestroom. He began writing again. This time the song was about him and May, and how he missed her but couldn't tell her, and how he wished she never left him.
"I wish I could tell you But the words would come out wrong Oh if you only knew The way I felt for so long I know that we're worlds apart But I just don't seem to care These feelings in my heart Only with you I want to share The first time I caught a glimpse of you Then my thoughts were only of you I hope that when time goes by You will think the same about me Many nights awake I lie I only wish that you could see I know that we're only friends I hope this feeling never ends If I could only hold you It's the only thing I want to do. The first time I caught a glimpse of you Then my thoughts were only of you I'll go for miles Till I find you. You say you want to leave me But you can't choose I've gone thru pain Every day and night I feel my mind is going insane Something I can't fight Don't leave me Don't leave me A blank expression Covering your face I'm looking for directions For out of this place I start to wonder If you'll come back I feel the rain storming after thunder I can't hold back Don't leave me I'll go for miles Till I find you. You say you want to leave me But you can't choose I've gone thru pain Every day and night I feel my mind is going insane Something I can't fight Don't leave me."
Minutes turned to hours turned to days turned into weeks. Billie stayed in that room like, is was his holding place, or a dungeon.
"Billie you need to come out, you been in there for a week now."
"Ellie I am not coming out."
"At less come out for a shower."
"I don't need one."
"Billie you've been sitting in that room for week, you need a shower, and you also need to eat."
"Uh... .well I am hungry."
"Ok you can eat then go for a shower, and if you'd like to. You can lock yourself back "your" room.
"Well, I was already planning on doing that." Billie opened the door.
Billie looked very dirty he needed to shave. His cheeks where stained from crying, and his hair was all over the place. His eyes looked blood shot, and they where no longer a bright green, they looked dirty, like mud had been mixed into them, and he could hardly keep them open.
"What would you like to eat?" Ellie asked.
"I don't know. Where's Mike?"
"He went to the store," Ellie was lying to Billie. Mike had gone to the hospital to see if I'd come back to Billie.
At The Hospital (Mike and May)
"I'm here to see a May."
"May who?" The lady at the desk asked.
"May."
"I know that sir, but what's her last name."
"Shit I forget."
"Well then I can't help you sir."
"Hey. Mike what brings you here." I spotted Mike at the front desk.
"May. Can I go now?" Mike asked the lady.
"Yes. It seems like she knows you."
Me and Mike walked back to room and began to talk.
"So, how is life treating you?" I asked.
"I have a depressed Billie Joe at my house, which has locks himself in a guestroom, for hours on end."
"I'm sorry to hear that. So I guess it safe to say, he's not taking this well either."
"Yah. He hardly every comes out, and if his does leave the room, he's talking about you or he starts getting mad for no reason and then locks himself back in the room he's staying in," Mike explained, but stopped when he seen that tears were building up in my eyes.
"You know, I never wanted to hurt him. I mean I love Billie."
"I know you do, and I know he still loves you. So why don't you come home, back to Billie where you belong."
"Mike I can't."
"Sure you can. Why can't you?"
"Cuz, I've told Billie I didn't want him watching me."
"But he wants to. He wants to be there for you. Even when you're sick or when you're healthy. You being gone is killing him."
"Mike, What? You don't think I knew that. I love Billie to pieces, and it's just as hared for me to let him go. Every morning when I wake up to no one beside me I begin to cry, sometimes I start crying for no reason. Mike I miss Billie, and I know he misses me. But me going back is not going to fix anything." I began to cry.
"Yah it would."
"Mike no it won't. I mean it. Just forget about me coming back. Cuz it's not happening."
Mike looked at me, and wiped the tears off my face.
"May you're a trooper, and your hared headed. But I think it'd be best for both of you, if you went home."
"Mike no, I want you to leave, and never come back. You can tell Billie I love him, or whatever but I'm not leaving, so get that out of your head."
"Fine, well I will. May I'm going to miss you." Mike hugged me.
"I'll miss you too." I hugged Mike back.
Mike said goodbye and left me there to cry.
Billie and Ellie
"That was good thank you."
"No problem."
"Ok, I'm off for a shower." Billie put his plate in the sink.
Billie got in the shower and let the warm water run down his back. He thought about the night him and May, when out in the snow, and began to cry again. It seemed like Billie was a beaten child the way he always cried no matter what he was doing.
"Billie... are you ok in there?" Ellie asked when she over heard Billie crying.
"Yah." Billie managed to say.
Billie finished his shower and borrowed some of Mike's clothes.
"You look better; I bet you feeling better too," Ellie said.
"Ummm," Billie gave a weak grin.
"Hey Billie," Mike walking in, to find Billie on the couch.
"Hi."
"You feeling any better today?"
"Not really."
"Well at lest you're out of that room."
"Yah."
"Ellie can I talk to you?" Mike asked.
"Yah." Mike and Ellie walked into their bedroom.
"May's not coming back."
"No, why? Did she tell you why?"
"Cause she thinks it'd be easier for her and Billie to be a part then together."
"What? Why?"
"'Cause May, doesn't want Billie having to watch her."
"Well, I guess I can see where she's coming from, but if May could see how he's doing with out her, she'd come back wouldn't she?"
"No, I told May. She just said she going trough the same thing."
"Well, I could talk with her."
"No Ellie, she doesn't want us going back."
"Well are you going to tell Billie you went?"
"No. It would kill him even more to know that she wouldn't come back, knowing what she knows."
"I guess your right, alright while keep this between us." Ellie left the bedroom and joined Billie on the sofa.
