I Wish I Could Tell You..., chapter 9
Billie got to his bedroom, walked past all the clothes that were scattered on the floor, and finally got to the phone. Billie picked up the phone and dialed Jessica's number. Billie realized that his hand was squeezing the phone very tightly, and he loosened his grip as he waited for Jessica to answer.
"Pick up..." Billie muttered to himself as he waited impatiently.
Finally, there was an answer. "Hello?" Jessica spoke into the phone.
"Hi Jessica." Billie said firmly.
"Um... Who is this?" Jessica asked.
"It's Bililie Joe." Billie replied.
"Oh, hi Billie!" Jessica said. "How are you?" she asked.
"Not too good." Billie answered.
"Why? What is it hun?" Jessica asked worriedly.
"Well, I'm just wondering why you walked in your room almost naked, and had sex with me today WHEN YOU'RE DATING MIKE." Billie said, emphasizing the last part.
"Baby, I was gonna tell you, I swear." Jessica explained.
"Yeah, after you had sex with me! I would have never done that if you had told me you were seeing Mike!" Billie said, feeling guilty and frustrated.
"See, but that's the thing. If I told you, then you wouldn't have done it." said Jessica.
"So you took advantage of me, is that it?!" Billie yelled.
"Baby, that's not how it is." Jessica sighed.
"Then what is it? What do you fucking want from me?! Is this all you want?! To fuck me and make me feel guilty? Is that it?!" Billie yelled in anger as he began to cry. Billie had kept all his emotions inside him, and now he was exploding.
On the other end, Jessica was wishing she was there with Billie Joe to put her arm around him, and tell him everything was okay. She just wanted to tell him everything she was feeling. But she wasn't sure if he would listen now.
After Billie had calmed down, he began speaking again.
"Do you love Mike? Like do you REALLY love him, Jess?" Billie questioned.
"Well, Billie... I dunno. I-I... No. No, I don't love him." Jessica finally admitted with a deep sigh.
"That's what I thought, that's not love. You wouldn't have slept with me if you loved Mike." said Billie.
"But Billie, he thinks I love him." Jessica said.
"So?" said Billie. "Is that my problem?" he asked.
"Billie, I just don't wanna hurt him." Jessica said.
"How did you even make him think you really loved him?" Bililie asked out of curiosity.
"Well, the day we broke up, I went home and called Mike 'cause he was the only person I could really talk to at that point. Anyway, I was really upset, and we sat on the couch, and he had his arm around me. Then I calmed down, and we started talking about it. After a while, we-we kissed. It got more and more, well... Sexual. And we ended up having sex. And after that, I dunno, we decided to start, well, 'going out'." Jessica explained to Billie Joe.
There was a short pause, and then Billie Joe burst out crying again. He just felt so betrayed, but he didn't know why. He wasn't dating Jessica; she hadn't cheated on him. But he just felt like he had lost a part of her because she'd slept with Mike.
"Billie, I'm sorry. Are you okay hun?" Jessica asked soothingly.
"Yeah, yeah I'm alright." Billie answered. "Why are you doing this to Mike. Do you think he deserves to be treated like this?" Billie asked.
"No, of course not, Billie! I was just so selfish, only thinking about myself. And now I have to explain to him. But I don't know how... Or when." Jessica worried.
"Why don't we all hang out tomorrow? Me, you, Tre and Mike." Billie suggested.
"That sounds good. Should I tell Mike tomorrow then?" asked Jessica.
"No, I dunno. Just not in front of Tre and I." Billie replied.
"Alright." said Jessica. "I'm really glad we could talk like this, Billie." Jessica said after a pause.
"I know, it makes me feel better knowing there's no secrets anymore." said Billie. "There's no secrets... Right?" he asked.
"No secrets." Jessica assured him.
"'kay good." Billie sighed.
"At least not between us. There's Mike and Tre." Jessica reminded him.
"Oh fuck. Tre." Billie groaned and suddenly felt guilty.
"What's wrong? Don't you wanna be with him?" asked Jessica.
"Of course I do, but I'm keeping so much from him." Billie told her. "I don't even think he knows you and Mike are together. I left his house so quickly that I didn't even get to tell him." he sighed.
"Oh okay, I see now." Jessica said.
Billie paused, "Does Mike love you, Jess?" he asked.
"Well, I don't really know. He told me he loved me when we had sex, but that's just automatic, right?" Jessica said. "He never said it any other time though." she added.
"Oh, I was just wondering." said Billie.
"I don't know how I'm gonna explain everything to him, Billie." Jessica whined.
"Try not to worry about too much, alright babe? He'll understand..." Billie said.
"I feel so bad." Jessica said.
"Don't feel bad Jess." Billie comforted.
"It's hard not to." Jessica sighed.
"I know." said Billie. "I'm such a bad boyfriend to Tre. Ugh, I feel so... So bad." Billie said, changing the subject.
"Billie, I'm sure you're a great boyfriend to Tre. And I can tell he loves you a lot." Jessica complimented him.
"But look at everything I've been doing behind his back! It's like I'm living two lives, or something confusing like that." said Billie.
"Hmm." Jessica sighed. "If- oh, never mind." she started after a pause.
"I wanna know what's on your mind" Billie said.
"Well I wanna ask you something." said Jessica.
"Sure, anything hun." said Billie.
Jessica sighed," This might sound stupid, but, if one day we're both single, would you date me again?" Jessica asked.
"Jessica, I don't find that stupid." Billie said gently. "And, yeah, I would date you again Jessica. I love you, and you mean so much to me." he continued. "If anything ever happens, I'll be there for you, Jess. Alright?" he finished.
"Thanks Billie, I really appreciate that. And I love you too." said Jessica.
"No problem, Jess. I just care about you." Billie said.
"And I care about you, Billie." said Jessica.
"Well, I'm gonna go now, Jess." Billie said.
"Okay, love you." said Jess.
"Love you too. I'll probably see you tomorrow." said Billie.
"Alright, see you." said Jessica.
"Bye." Billie said.
"Bye." said Jessica.
As Billie hung up the phone, he thought about how much fun they were all going to have the next day. But little did he know, something was going to go very wrong...
"Pick up..." Billie muttered to himself as he waited impatiently.
Finally, there was an answer. "Hello?" Jessica spoke into the phone.
"Hi Jessica." Billie said firmly.
"Um... Who is this?" Jessica asked.
"It's Bililie Joe." Billie replied.
"Oh, hi Billie!" Jessica said. "How are you?" she asked.
"Not too good." Billie answered.
"Why? What is it hun?" Jessica asked worriedly.
"Well, I'm just wondering why you walked in your room almost naked, and had sex with me today WHEN YOU'RE DATING MIKE." Billie said, emphasizing the last part.
"Baby, I was gonna tell you, I swear." Jessica explained.
"Yeah, after you had sex with me! I would have never done that if you had told me you were seeing Mike!" Billie said, feeling guilty and frustrated.
"See, but that's the thing. If I told you, then you wouldn't have done it." said Jessica.
"So you took advantage of me, is that it?!" Billie yelled.
"Baby, that's not how it is." Jessica sighed.
"Then what is it? What do you fucking want from me?! Is this all you want?! To fuck me and make me feel guilty? Is that it?!" Billie yelled in anger as he began to cry. Billie had kept all his emotions inside him, and now he was exploding.
On the other end, Jessica was wishing she was there with Billie Joe to put her arm around him, and tell him everything was okay. She just wanted to tell him everything she was feeling. But she wasn't sure if he would listen now.
After Billie had calmed down, he began speaking again.
"Do you love Mike? Like do you REALLY love him, Jess?" Billie questioned.
"Well, Billie... I dunno. I-I... No. No, I don't love him." Jessica finally admitted with a deep sigh.
"That's what I thought, that's not love. You wouldn't have slept with me if you loved Mike." said Billie.
"But Billie, he thinks I love him." Jessica said.
"So?" said Billie. "Is that my problem?" he asked.
"Billie, I just don't wanna hurt him." Jessica said.
"How did you even make him think you really loved him?" Bililie asked out of curiosity.
"Well, the day we broke up, I went home and called Mike 'cause he was the only person I could really talk to at that point. Anyway, I was really upset, and we sat on the couch, and he had his arm around me. Then I calmed down, and we started talking about it. After a while, we-we kissed. It got more and more, well... Sexual. And we ended up having sex. And after that, I dunno, we decided to start, well, 'going out'." Jessica explained to Billie Joe.
There was a short pause, and then Billie Joe burst out crying again. He just felt so betrayed, but he didn't know why. He wasn't dating Jessica; she hadn't cheated on him. But he just felt like he had lost a part of her because she'd slept with Mike.
"Billie, I'm sorry. Are you okay hun?" Jessica asked soothingly.
"Yeah, yeah I'm alright." Billie answered. "Why are you doing this to Mike. Do you think he deserves to be treated like this?" Billie asked.
"No, of course not, Billie! I was just so selfish, only thinking about myself. And now I have to explain to him. But I don't know how... Or when." Jessica worried.
"Why don't we all hang out tomorrow? Me, you, Tre and Mike." Billie suggested.
"That sounds good. Should I tell Mike tomorrow then?" asked Jessica.
"No, I dunno. Just not in front of Tre and I." Billie replied.
"Alright." said Jessica. "I'm really glad we could talk like this, Billie." Jessica said after a pause.
"I know, it makes me feel better knowing there's no secrets anymore." said Billie. "There's no secrets... Right?" he asked.
"No secrets." Jessica assured him.
"'kay good." Billie sighed.
"At least not between us. There's Mike and Tre." Jessica reminded him.
"Oh fuck. Tre." Billie groaned and suddenly felt guilty.
"What's wrong? Don't you wanna be with him?" asked Jessica.
"Of course I do, but I'm keeping so much from him." Billie told her. "I don't even think he knows you and Mike are together. I left his house so quickly that I didn't even get to tell him." he sighed.
"Oh okay, I see now." Jessica said.
Billie paused, "Does Mike love you, Jess?" he asked.
"Well, I don't really know. He told me he loved me when we had sex, but that's just automatic, right?" Jessica said. "He never said it any other time though." she added.
"Oh, I was just wondering." said Billie.
"I don't know how I'm gonna explain everything to him, Billie." Jessica whined.
"Try not to worry about too much, alright babe? He'll understand..." Billie said.
"I feel so bad." Jessica said.
"Don't feel bad Jess." Billie comforted.
"It's hard not to." Jessica sighed.
"I know." said Billie. "I'm such a bad boyfriend to Tre. Ugh, I feel so... So bad." Billie said, changing the subject.
"Billie, I'm sure you're a great boyfriend to Tre. And I can tell he loves you a lot." Jessica complimented him.
"But look at everything I've been doing behind his back! It's like I'm living two lives, or something confusing like that." said Billie.
"Hmm." Jessica sighed. "If- oh, never mind." she started after a pause.
"I wanna know what's on your mind" Billie said.
"Well I wanna ask you something." said Jessica.
"Sure, anything hun." said Billie.
Jessica sighed," This might sound stupid, but, if one day we're both single, would you date me again?" Jessica asked.
"Jessica, I don't find that stupid." Billie said gently. "And, yeah, I would date you again Jessica. I love you, and you mean so much to me." he continued. "If anything ever happens, I'll be there for you, Jess. Alright?" he finished.
"Thanks Billie, I really appreciate that. And I love you too." said Jessica.
"No problem, Jess. I just care about you." Billie said.
"And I care about you, Billie." said Jessica.
"Well, I'm gonna go now, Jess." Billie said.
"Okay, love you." said Jess.
"Love you too. I'll probably see you tomorrow." said Billie.
"Alright, see you." said Jessica.
"Bye." Billie said.
"Bye." said Jessica.
As Billie hung up the phone, he thought about how much fun they were all going to have the next day. But little did he know, something was going to go very wrong...
