And All the Shit You Put Me Through, chapter 15
I was in the kitchen drying the dishes that I'd used just moments before, I needed anything to take my mind off the fact that someone was probably gonna be watching me no matter how many times I tried to dismiss them. I sighed and put the plate I was drying down on the bench. I tap my fingers on it looking around the kitchen; it was so quiet in here. I debated quickly over whether it would be worth the pain climbing up the stairs to get a record from Billie's room or not. I decided I might as well.
I pushed open the door and walked in, the amount of records he had was amazing not even my parents owned this many. They were the only objects in the room that weren't part of the clutter on the floor, I started going through them not really sure what I was in the mood for. I stopped when I saw the words 'Green Day' on one of them, I pulled it out of the pile...1,000 Hours...I never knew they recorded anything...wow...I went back downstairs anxious to hear what Billie obsessed over daily about. The beginning to what I assumed was 1,000 Hours started playing. I collapsed onto the couch and was about to close my eyes when someone started knocking repeatedly at the front door. I rolled my eyes and forced myself up, I opened the door to reveal Mike
"OHMYGODLAURENTHEYTOOKHIMHOWCOULDYOUTELLTHEM?!?!?!"
"Wow, wow, wow, wow, wow Mike, slow down, what the fuck did you just say?"
"I can't believe you told on him, they've fucking taken him away-"
"Taken who away? What are you talking about?"
"Billie was arrested 15 minutes ago because you told fucking child services about him!!" I stood shocked, my mouth probably looking like a giant 'O'
"But...I didn't tell them. I said that I was fine that I fell..."
"Bullshit Lauren, you two may have been chummy for a couple of weeks but that still doesn't change the fact that you wouldn't want to get him back."
"I didn't though, I would be way too scared to tell anyone about it."Mike stared directly into my eyes, his face extremely stern.
"You really didn't tell them did you?" I shook my head "Who would've? Who knew?"
"Everyone at your little punk club, his friends- Al."
"What about him?"
"It had to have been Al! He kept trying to come onto me saying that he would protect me if I did him a favour but I said no and he got angry or something it HAD to be him!"
"There's no way Al would do something like that, not everyone is in love with you Lauren, Billie sure but not Al. He wouldn't do that to his best friend."
"That's what we thought about Billie, but look what he did to me."
"What?!" Both Mike and me turned at the sound of Ollie's voice "What did you just say?" I stood speechless, I had never meant for Ollie to hear, she must've come through the back door. "My Billie would do no such thing, both of you get out!" I could see how angry she was, Mike must've too because he grabbed my wrist and dragged me out of the house. The door slammed behind us. I looked up at Mike
"What do we do now?"
*
I banged my head against the wall a couple of times to see if I was maybe dreaming but I wasn't. This was actually happening. My temporary cellmate continued to stare at me. He was probably about my age, he didn't look very dangerous though. He was some skinny kid with pimples probably arrested for taking some drug so he could keep up with school. I thought I would be scared in here and I think a part of me was but at the moment I couldn't care less. I didn't care that I would probably end up in Juvi, or that me being here would break up the band, or that the police officer who'd arrested me had found the joints in my pockets. All I could think about was how Lauren was the reason I was here, she had told me she wouldn't tell but she did. Just when I thought that our friendship was getting somewhere, just when I was beginning to realise that I wasn't just lusting after her but that I did feel something deeper. Love might be a bit strong, fuck I'm only 16 but it was something close to it. This whole time I had stupidly been hoping that she would feel the same way, god I'm such a cocksucker.
"Armstrong!" I looked up in the direction of the guard, "someone here to see ya!" I expected to see Mom come in ready to scream at me but to my surprise it was Tre.
"Hey Billie."
"Tre? What are you doing here?"
"I heard about you getting arrested from Al and figured that you might wanna talk to someone...I know that we're not exactly close but that might be even better."
"Al told you?"
"Yeah, the bastard did a whole re-enactment of it. Reckons that now that you're here he can get Lauren."
*
"Mike where the hell are we going?" I continued to try and keep up with him as he almost ran up and down the same streets.
"I don't know. I'm trying to think!"
"Well going around in circles isn't going to make you think any faster."
"Just shut up! Okay Lauren, he's my best friend and now he's in jail and I won't be able to see him for ages."
"He was my best friend once upon a time too remember? And it's not my fault that he's in trouble."
"Yes, it is." He stopped and turned around to face me "Of course it's your fault, from the day I met him all those years ago he was so head over heels in love with you and you were completely oblivious to it! I swear you must've been a fucking idiot to not have noticed it. And then you two would kiss and pretend to do all this shit so that you could of done it before all the other kids at school and brag about it. It was only natural for him to thought that you felt the same way and then when you got older you just completely ignored him like that the two of you were just 'friends' you should've known that he wanted more."
"How do you know that I didn't like him back? Huh? How the fuck do you know?"
"Well if you did he wouldn't have had to resort to doing what he did to you now would he?"
"Hey! Maybe- Urgh I don't know. Mike I liked him, I more than liked him. I was just...I don't even know what I was I guess that I just watched his sisters get hurt and dumped by their boyfriends and I was scared of that happening to me even though I think I knew that Billie would never do that to me...I guess if I had known what effect me not being with him would've had I would've gone for it but I was stupid. And you know what? So was he, if he couldn't wait or just tell me how he felt than it's his own fault. I'm not gonna stand here and listen to you tell me how I fucked up!" I turned and started to walk off
"Lauren!" I stopped, still not facing Mike
"What."
"Do you like him?"
"I used to."
I pushed open the door and walked in, the amount of records he had was amazing not even my parents owned this many. They were the only objects in the room that weren't part of the clutter on the floor, I started going through them not really sure what I was in the mood for. I stopped when I saw the words 'Green Day' on one of them, I pulled it out of the pile...1,000 Hours...I never knew they recorded anything...wow...I went back downstairs anxious to hear what Billie obsessed over daily about. The beginning to what I assumed was 1,000 Hours started playing. I collapsed onto the couch and was about to close my eyes when someone started knocking repeatedly at the front door. I rolled my eyes and forced myself up, I opened the door to reveal Mike
"OHMYGODLAURENTHEYTOOKHIMHOWCOULDYOUTELLTHEM?!?!?!"
"Wow, wow, wow, wow, wow Mike, slow down, what the fuck did you just say?"
"I can't believe you told on him, they've fucking taken him away-"
"Taken who away? What are you talking about?"
"Billie was arrested 15 minutes ago because you told fucking child services about him!!" I stood shocked, my mouth probably looking like a giant 'O'
"But...I didn't tell them. I said that I was fine that I fell..."
"Bullshit Lauren, you two may have been chummy for a couple of weeks but that still doesn't change the fact that you wouldn't want to get him back."
"I didn't though, I would be way too scared to tell anyone about it."Mike stared directly into my eyes, his face extremely stern.
"You really didn't tell them did you?" I shook my head "Who would've? Who knew?"
"Everyone at your little punk club, his friends- Al."
"What about him?"
"It had to have been Al! He kept trying to come onto me saying that he would protect me if I did him a favour but I said no and he got angry or something it HAD to be him!"
"There's no way Al would do something like that, not everyone is in love with you Lauren, Billie sure but not Al. He wouldn't do that to his best friend."
"That's what we thought about Billie, but look what he did to me."
"What?!" Both Mike and me turned at the sound of Ollie's voice "What did you just say?" I stood speechless, I had never meant for Ollie to hear, she must've come through the back door. "My Billie would do no such thing, both of you get out!" I could see how angry she was, Mike must've too because he grabbed my wrist and dragged me out of the house. The door slammed behind us. I looked up at Mike
"What do we do now?"
*
I banged my head against the wall a couple of times to see if I was maybe dreaming but I wasn't. This was actually happening. My temporary cellmate continued to stare at me. He was probably about my age, he didn't look very dangerous though. He was some skinny kid with pimples probably arrested for taking some drug so he could keep up with school. I thought I would be scared in here and I think a part of me was but at the moment I couldn't care less. I didn't care that I would probably end up in Juvi, or that me being here would break up the band, or that the police officer who'd arrested me had found the joints in my pockets. All I could think about was how Lauren was the reason I was here, she had told me she wouldn't tell but she did. Just when I thought that our friendship was getting somewhere, just when I was beginning to realise that I wasn't just lusting after her but that I did feel something deeper. Love might be a bit strong, fuck I'm only 16 but it was something close to it. This whole time I had stupidly been hoping that she would feel the same way, god I'm such a cocksucker.
"Armstrong!" I looked up in the direction of the guard, "someone here to see ya!" I expected to see Mom come in ready to scream at me but to my surprise it was Tre.
"Hey Billie."
"Tre? What are you doing here?"
"I heard about you getting arrested from Al and figured that you might wanna talk to someone...I know that we're not exactly close but that might be even better."
"Al told you?"
"Yeah, the bastard did a whole re-enactment of it. Reckons that now that you're here he can get Lauren."
*
"Mike where the hell are we going?" I continued to try and keep up with him as he almost ran up and down the same streets.
"I don't know. I'm trying to think!"
"Well going around in circles isn't going to make you think any faster."
"Just shut up! Okay Lauren, he's my best friend and now he's in jail and I won't be able to see him for ages."
"He was my best friend once upon a time too remember? And it's not my fault that he's in trouble."
"Yes, it is." He stopped and turned around to face me "Of course it's your fault, from the day I met him all those years ago he was so head over heels in love with you and you were completely oblivious to it! I swear you must've been a fucking idiot to not have noticed it. And then you two would kiss and pretend to do all this shit so that you could of done it before all the other kids at school and brag about it. It was only natural for him to thought that you felt the same way and then when you got older you just completely ignored him like that the two of you were just 'friends' you should've known that he wanted more."
"How do you know that I didn't like him back? Huh? How the fuck do you know?"
"Well if you did he wouldn't have had to resort to doing what he did to you now would he?"
"Hey! Maybe- Urgh I don't know. Mike I liked him, I more than liked him. I was just...I don't even know what I was I guess that I just watched his sisters get hurt and dumped by their boyfriends and I was scared of that happening to me even though I think I knew that Billie would never do that to me...I guess if I had known what effect me not being with him would've had I would've gone for it but I was stupid. And you know what? So was he, if he couldn't wait or just tell me how he felt than it's his own fault. I'm not gonna stand here and listen to you tell me how I fucked up!" I turned and started to walk off
"Lauren!" I stopped, still not facing Mike
"What."
"Do you like him?"
"I used to."
