And All the Shit You Put Me Through, chapter 2
Only 15 minutes until science is over. I'm not there. I couldn't take being forced to be Billie's lab partner, I see him enough as it is. I also couldn't leave school grounds because them calling my parents would just lead to annoying talks that I'm not in the mood to deal with. "Miss Andrews!"
"Sister Alice." I stop walking and lead her catch up.
"Miss Andrews, aren't you supposed to be in class?" I personally think that's a stupid question, she knows I'm supposed to be in class. "Miss Andrews I think you should come with me to my office." Great. I roll my eyes and follow the short nun down the corridor to her office. She gestures for me to seat down in the seat across from her desk. "Miss Andrews, Lauren, are you okay, I as well as the other sisters have noticed you seeming a bit distracted and fragile lately." I try to smile
"I'm fine really, just uh...trying to keep up with my homework." Lie! She looks at me, trying to study my features.
"The other sisters and I have also noticed Mr Armstrong paying you a bit of attention lately, with his tongue." I close my eyes and take a deep breath. I think back to the time when Billie forced me into an empty classroom and stuck his down my throat, as well as other things. "Lauren, are you okay?" I open my eyes. I want to be able to tell someone about what's been happening between Billie and me but I'm scared, he has friends. I'm not really ready to face the consequences that would come with reporting him.
"We're... We're just... We've become close." Close? I'm not really sure if that's the right word to describe what's going on. I guess in a sense it's true.
"Well I would prefer it if you kept your closeness until after school."
"Yeah, I'll be sure to tell him that." I get up to leave
"Lauren," I turn back to her, "is he doing things to you, that you don't like?" I take a second to think but decide against it.
"No, why would Billie ever hurt me?" I can tell that she doesn't completely believe me, it's making me uncomfortable, I can feel beads of sweat forming on my forehead.
"Are you feeling okay?" I can use this as an escape! I exaggerate a bit.
"I'm feeling sorta dizzy, I think I'm going to throw up. Sister Alice can I please go home?"
"Of course." I nod my head in thanks and run out of the office. A pair of hands grab me from behind.
"What did she say?" I feel his arms wrap around me tighter, I breath in the scent coming off his jacket.
"She said...that we should keep our relationship to out of school hours." He spins me around in his arms, and looks into my eyes. I hate him so much but every time I see them I just get lost in his eyes.
"Our relationship? What relationship?" I can feel his nails digging into my shoulders.
"Well what else could I have said to her, apparently there has been lots of speculation over the times we've been seen together. You pressed up against me because you can't get any from someone who actually cares about you." His eyes go darker and I immediately regret saying what I did. He pushes me towards the art closet door, opens it and shoves me in.
"You don't want to waste your time with me Billie... You'll be late for class." I watch him lock the door, my breathing gets heavier. I don't know what he's going to do. There's two kinds of abuse the only one that he's ever done so far has been sexual, but I wouldn't put it past him to beat me. I have bruises in between my legs from the first time when I struggled. Since then I've learnt to just close my eyes until it's over.
"Come on Lauren, you know I don't give a shit about good grades, Mum's already booked my flight, you know for being such a good boy. And being with you is never a waste of time." He moves towards me and I back away slowly until I hit the shelves behind me. Startled I look away from Billie and he seizes the moment. "See you at dinner." Billie leaves the closet making sure not to close the door, afraid of being seen I slam it shut. I pull my tights on. I roll up the sleeve on my left arm, it's cut from being leaned against a pair of open scissors. I fix up the rest of my uniform and redo my hair. I open the door again and check to see that no ones around. I hurry to my locker and grab all my stuff out of there before leaving for home.
"Sister Alice." I stop walking and lead her catch up.
"Miss Andrews, aren't you supposed to be in class?" I personally think that's a stupid question, she knows I'm supposed to be in class. "Miss Andrews I think you should come with me to my office." Great. I roll my eyes and follow the short nun down the corridor to her office. She gestures for me to seat down in the seat across from her desk. "Miss Andrews, Lauren, are you okay, I as well as the other sisters have noticed you seeming a bit distracted and fragile lately." I try to smile
"I'm fine really, just uh...trying to keep up with my homework." Lie! She looks at me, trying to study my features.
"The other sisters and I have also noticed Mr Armstrong paying you a bit of attention lately, with his tongue." I close my eyes and take a deep breath. I think back to the time when Billie forced me into an empty classroom and stuck his down my throat, as well as other things. "Lauren, are you okay?" I open my eyes. I want to be able to tell someone about what's been happening between Billie and me but I'm scared, he has friends. I'm not really ready to face the consequences that would come with reporting him.
"We're... We're just... We've become close." Close? I'm not really sure if that's the right word to describe what's going on. I guess in a sense it's true.
"Well I would prefer it if you kept your closeness until after school."
"Yeah, I'll be sure to tell him that." I get up to leave
"Lauren," I turn back to her, "is he doing things to you, that you don't like?" I take a second to think but decide against it.
"No, why would Billie ever hurt me?" I can tell that she doesn't completely believe me, it's making me uncomfortable, I can feel beads of sweat forming on my forehead.
"Are you feeling okay?" I can use this as an escape! I exaggerate a bit.
"I'm feeling sorta dizzy, I think I'm going to throw up. Sister Alice can I please go home?"
"Of course." I nod my head in thanks and run out of the office. A pair of hands grab me from behind.
"What did she say?" I feel his arms wrap around me tighter, I breath in the scent coming off his jacket.
"She said...that we should keep our relationship to out of school hours." He spins me around in his arms, and looks into my eyes. I hate him so much but every time I see them I just get lost in his eyes.
"Our relationship? What relationship?" I can feel his nails digging into my shoulders.
"Well what else could I have said to her, apparently there has been lots of speculation over the times we've been seen together. You pressed up against me because you can't get any from someone who actually cares about you." His eyes go darker and I immediately regret saying what I did. He pushes me towards the art closet door, opens it and shoves me in.
"You don't want to waste your time with me Billie... You'll be late for class." I watch him lock the door, my breathing gets heavier. I don't know what he's going to do. There's two kinds of abuse the only one that he's ever done so far has been sexual, but I wouldn't put it past him to beat me. I have bruises in between my legs from the first time when I struggled. Since then I've learnt to just close my eyes until it's over.
"Come on Lauren, you know I don't give a shit about good grades, Mum's already booked my flight, you know for being such a good boy. And being with you is never a waste of time." He moves towards me and I back away slowly until I hit the shelves behind me. Startled I look away from Billie and he seizes the moment. "See you at dinner." Billie leaves the closet making sure not to close the door, afraid of being seen I slam it shut. I pull my tights on. I roll up the sleeve on my left arm, it's cut from being leaned against a pair of open scissors. I fix up the rest of my uniform and redo my hair. I open the door again and check to see that no ones around. I hurry to my locker and grab all my stuff out of there before leaving for home.
