And All the Shit You Put Me Through, chapter 8
The last 16 days were torturous. During the day Billie would play mind games with me acting nice and telling me I was pretty, then he would turn into the sick bastard he really is. I think my eyes are dry from crying so much that I don't think I could cry again for a week. At night I would lay awake staring at the ceiling. Insomnia brought on by pure fear. Only now it was really starting to take its toll. I had dark rings all around my eyes, so dark that I didnt need to wear eyeliner anymore. I'd lost my appetite, my skin lost all of its colour leaving me white. I hardly even registered anything going on around me, except of course for Billie. He was the only one, only thing that made me feel any emotion, though I would've preferred not to feel. He was starting to notice as well, at least I think he was. He would make me eat something everyday. I doubt it was because he cared but more because he didnt want to be asked questions from Michelle and Ollie when we got back. I thought coming to LA would be better than being at home. I was wrong. I desperately wanted this last week to end. Since the first night here I'd run into Emily once more, she'd encouraged me to try her idea. I'd thought about it and had finally decided to give it a go. I was standing outside the motel door, holding my breath. Scared more than ever, I turned the handle and slowly pushed the door open. Billie was sitting on the bed, an accoustic guitar in his hands, he was strumming a tune that I didn't recognise. He stopped when he noticed me. I released the breath I'd been holding and took another one. I slowly made my way over to Billie and took the guitar from him, I set it down in the corner of the room
"What are you doing?" My heart started racing as I braced myself for what I was about to do. I stood in front of Billie, then kneeled down. I lifted my face to his and lent in, engaging him in a kiss. I could tell he was surprised but he kissed back anyway. It lasted about thirty seconds before he pulled away. He looked into my eyes and I struggled not to look away. "Why would you do that?"
"Because, I... I think that maybe... I might feel something...for you."
"Oh god I've wanted to hear you say that for so long." He leaned in for another kiss but I stood up and backed away.
"You what?"
"To hear you say, I've been waiting for so long."
"Well I haven't!"
"What?"
"I don't like, how could I like you?!? The way you treat me and all the shit you put me through! How could you ever expect me to have feelings for you?"
"But you just said -"
"I lied! I HATE YOU BILLIE JOE ARMSTRONG!" The look of confusion on Billie's face changes from confusion to rage. He gets off the bed and moves towards me. I can almost feel my heart stopping. Billie approaches me and I close my eyes expecting the worst but instead he changes direction and storms out of the motel. I open my eyes. "What the FUCK just happened?!?"
"What are you doing?" My heart started racing as I braced myself for what I was about to do. I stood in front of Billie, then kneeled down. I lifted my face to his and lent in, engaging him in a kiss. I could tell he was surprised but he kissed back anyway. It lasted about thirty seconds before he pulled away. He looked into my eyes and I struggled not to look away. "Why would you do that?"
"Because, I... I think that maybe... I might feel something...for you."
"Oh god I've wanted to hear you say that for so long." He leaned in for another kiss but I stood up and backed away.
"You what?"
"To hear you say, I've been waiting for so long."
"Well I haven't!"
"What?"
"I don't like, how could I like you?!? The way you treat me and all the shit you put me through! How could you ever expect me to have feelings for you?"
"But you just said -"
"I lied! I HATE YOU BILLIE JOE ARMSTRONG!" The look of confusion on Billie's face changes from confusion to rage. He gets off the bed and moves towards me. I can almost feel my heart stopping. Billie approaches me and I close my eyes expecting the worst but instead he changes direction and storms out of the motel. I open my eyes. "What the FUCK just happened?!?"
