Wicked Times, chapter 19
The small, yet dark shadow slowly creep into my room. The mysterious shadow was Billie Joe. He entered my bedroom as Tre left. My eyes quickly went to the floor, my anger came back, and my face went to stone again.
Billie said, "I'm sorry Alexis."
I snapped back "Me too." Venom slipped into my voice. I had no clue where it came from, I didn't really want my words to sound that evil, but they did. I didn't want to apologize anytime soon though.
***
Billie was standing beside Alexis. He felt so empty inside. He didn't want to upset Alex, but had in so many ways. Billie Joe felt sorry, but Alexis wouldn't apologize, she wouldn't even reason with him. He could see this through all the words and actions she made. He sat down on the bed beside Alex and hugged her, she didn't reject or accept the hug so Billie just kept hugging her. Billie felt like he might be getting somewhere.. maybe. Billie Joe had never been put through this. He had never been put in this kind of situation. His kids were not yet this old, his only daughter was just a baby, and he could never figure out the feelings that teenage girls had, but Adie had talked to him and she had said that he had to talk to Alexis face to face if she was very going to understand. He trusted his loving wife, but all the while he was doubting her advice. Billie didn't know what to do. He was just so clueless. All he hoped for was that he won't make things any worse than they already were.
***
Billie whispered, "sorry," in my ear. His words sounded so kind and gently, but yet there still was that tone in his voice that said, right out, Billie was such a protective parent.
I will always love Billie, no matter how mad I am at him, this is the same for anyone that is close to me in my life right now. (These people that are close to me are people that care so much about me. They make me feel more than comfortable about opening my heart for them. Even if that means I don't have a protective shield over the body's most emotion places. Which is the heart and mind. Those people are suppose to be my shields, they are there to make sure life doesn't tear me up to bad. That's why, I think, they call it love.
Love affects your heart, mostly. Even though in health they say your mind tells you what to do, you can feel your heart pulling you aside and telling you what's right. That's why so many people say "Follow your heart.")
I could go on and on for hours thinking about love and trying it make a theory for myself so I'll understand life a little bit better, but I stopped thinking at that moment in time and enjoyed Billie saying sorry to me.
I wondered if this meant it was now ok for me to marry Brook. I hoped so. Billie had to approve. It wouldn't be right marrying without my family's permission. Billie is a part of my family... not my real family, but the best family anyone could ever have or ever want. I never got yelled, people cared about my feelings, and I wasn't lost anymore. My 'new' family helped guide me through life's toughest trials. That's why I need their blessings. Tears streamed down my face. I felt my tears fall down on my face onto Billie Joe's black shirt.
He stopped hugging me, wiped away my tears from my face and said, "I just want the best for you Alex. I don't want you to get hurt."
I smiled a bit. I looked Billie in the eyes and said plainly, "this is the best thing for me." Billie laughed.
I looked at him confused and asked "What? Why are you laughing?"
Billie smiled and said, "Just remembering when I first heard of and saw Brook. I wanted to smash this guy into a pulp because I was afraid he would break your heart, but he's brought you so much joy. I'm the one that broke your heart into pieces."
I looked past Billie. I looked at my bookcase and said, "I know. I was tempted to throw a lamp at you." I smirked wickedly.
Billie jumped off the bed and yelled "I knew it!"
I just stared at him, with my eyebrow raised. I said, "Yeah... yeah." I rolled my eyes and laughed. This was Billie's fun loving way of accepting me getting married.
Billie said, "I'm sorry Alexis."
I snapped back "Me too." Venom slipped into my voice. I had no clue where it came from, I didn't really want my words to sound that evil, but they did. I didn't want to apologize anytime soon though.
***
Billie was standing beside Alexis. He felt so empty inside. He didn't want to upset Alex, but had in so many ways. Billie Joe felt sorry, but Alexis wouldn't apologize, she wouldn't even reason with him. He could see this through all the words and actions she made. He sat down on the bed beside Alex and hugged her, she didn't reject or accept the hug so Billie just kept hugging her. Billie felt like he might be getting somewhere.. maybe. Billie Joe had never been put through this. He had never been put in this kind of situation. His kids were not yet this old, his only daughter was just a baby, and he could never figure out the feelings that teenage girls had, but Adie had talked to him and she had said that he had to talk to Alexis face to face if she was very going to understand. He trusted his loving wife, but all the while he was doubting her advice. Billie didn't know what to do. He was just so clueless. All he hoped for was that he won't make things any worse than they already were.
***
Billie whispered, "sorry," in my ear. His words sounded so kind and gently, but yet there still was that tone in his voice that said, right out, Billie was such a protective parent.
I will always love Billie, no matter how mad I am at him, this is the same for anyone that is close to me in my life right now. (These people that are close to me are people that care so much about me. They make me feel more than comfortable about opening my heart for them. Even if that means I don't have a protective shield over the body's most emotion places. Which is the heart and mind. Those people are suppose to be my shields, they are there to make sure life doesn't tear me up to bad. That's why, I think, they call it love.
Love affects your heart, mostly. Even though in health they say your mind tells you what to do, you can feel your heart pulling you aside and telling you what's right. That's why so many people say "Follow your heart.")
I could go on and on for hours thinking about love and trying it make a theory for myself so I'll understand life a little bit better, but I stopped thinking at that moment in time and enjoyed Billie saying sorry to me.
I wondered if this meant it was now ok for me to marry Brook. I hoped so. Billie had to approve. It wouldn't be right marrying without my family's permission. Billie is a part of my family... not my real family, but the best family anyone could ever have or ever want. I never got yelled, people cared about my feelings, and I wasn't lost anymore. My 'new' family helped guide me through life's toughest trials. That's why I need their blessings. Tears streamed down my face. I felt my tears fall down on my face onto Billie Joe's black shirt.
He stopped hugging me, wiped away my tears from my face and said, "I just want the best for you Alex. I don't want you to get hurt."
I smiled a bit. I looked Billie in the eyes and said plainly, "this is the best thing for me." Billie laughed.
I looked at him confused and asked "What? Why are you laughing?"
Billie smiled and said, "Just remembering when I first heard of and saw Brook. I wanted to smash this guy into a pulp because I was afraid he would break your heart, but he's brought you so much joy. I'm the one that broke your heart into pieces."
I looked past Billie. I looked at my bookcase and said, "I know. I was tempted to throw a lamp at you." I smirked wickedly.
Billie jumped off the bed and yelled "I knew it!"
I just stared at him, with my eyebrow raised. I said, "Yeah... yeah." I rolled my eyes and laughed. This was Billie's fun loving way of accepting me getting married.
