An American Tale, chapter 1
"Honey, I think we should move back to the Bay," my mother randomly said one evening as we were sitting at the table eating dinner, "I mean, I think, now that you've reached 15 you need a father figure in your life, your father."
I just stared at her in complete shock, not believing that my own mother could sprout such bullshit out of her mouth. "Mother dearest," I said finally in a syrupy sweet false voice, "Do you think I'm retarded or blind or both!? Don't think that I dont know what you're up to, you dont give a shit about me and my 'father figure', you just want to go back to that guy, Brad, that you met last time we were over visiting dad, God you're so selfish!!" I shouted at the end.
"Tara please!!" my mother tried to plead with me. "Yes I do want to go back to see Brad, but of course I care about you! Don't you dare say that I don't! Please, I thought you'd be happy to go back, you would be able to see your dad all the time then!" my mum said, trying to look hopeful. "Whatever," I huffed as I began to leave the table, "Wreck my life why dont you."
***
It was two months later and I was sitting in my room, with half-packed boxes covering my floor, my guitars and basses all in their cases, and my drum-kit, my most prized possesion standing in the corner. I was leaving that 'til last, my dad still doesnt know that I play them in a band. Yes we were moving, my mum got her way in the end, even though I didn't mind that much. I didn't want to let her know that, I wanted her to feel guilty, because after all, she was tearing me away from my friends, and my band.
The next evening was the evening before my mum and I moved back to Oakland, and my friends and I were meeting up in TGI Friday's as a farewell to me.
I got the train into Dublin city centre and we all went in and sat down, me in the middle, beside me was my best friend, and bassist in our band 'The Novacaines', Joelle, and beside her our lead guitarist and singer, Matty and on the other side of me was our rythm guitarist, Patrick.
All along the table were my friends, Naomi, Sarah, Dearbhaile, Ciara, Aishling, Grainne, Fiona and last of all, Lainey. We all ate and and talked about the good times we'd had over the years of our friendship, alot of my mates got teary eyed towards the end, "Guys chill, I'll be back next Summer!" I reassured them. "Yeah but that's ages away," said Sarah, wiping her eyes.
After I'd said goodbye to all my friends and hugged and kissed the life out of them it was just me and my faithful band left, we all looked at each other silently. "Well......I guess this is it," I breathed. "Promise me you'll find a good replacement."
"Oh my God, come here" Joelle cried and gave a me massive hug soon followed by Matty and Patrick.
"Bye guys," I whispered as I got onto the train (they get the bus home), "I'll miss you." On the way home on the train I started crying silently to myself, I suddenly didnt feel so enthusiastic about going anymore.
Next day at about 10 AM, Irish time, I was sitting in a plane waiting to take me off back to the life I thought I'd escaped and thought I'd only have to revisit two weeks every second summer or so. I looked over at my mum who had already taken some sleeping tablets, and then looked back at the window as I reflected on my early childhood.....
I was 5, it was the day after my Birthday, August 13th 1995, and i was sitting watching telly at around 3 o' clock in the afternoon on a sunny afternoon in Oakland. My parents were in the kitchen talking about something, apparently daddy had to go on tour again and mum was not very happy about it, but I didn't care, I was excited 'cause uncle Billie and uncle Mike were coming around later and I couldn't wait to see them. Uncle Billie always picked me up and swung me around like an airoplane and I loved it. Suddenly I heard the raised voices of my parents in the kitchen I lowered down the volume of the T.V. to hear what they were saying..."Frank I cannot believe you, you were only on tour six months ago, how could you leave me again, how could you leave Tara again? She needs you Frank, she loves you so much, I don't want her growing up without a father by her side".
"Oh for fucks sake Avanon (my mum), you knew from the day we got married that I was going to be away a lot, and so were you up until recently, always at uni, studying for your stupid music management job (Avanon works at Reprise), and my names Tre, not Frank you idiot!".
"How dare you! How fucking dare you!" and I heard my mum slap daddy accross the face. I couldn't listen anymore, this is the biggst fight they'e ever had, as I was running out to the front garden I heard china being shattered,
"Oh no," I cried. Just then I saw uncle Billie and uncle Mike pulling up, I ran over to them crying.
"Hey lil' Tara," Billie said, bending down to do the airoplane, but then he noticed something was up as I was crying.
"Whats wrong hun?" uncle Mike asked, "Wheres monnmy and daddy?".
"It's them," I cried, "Theyre fighting and hitting each other," and I pointed shakily towards the two-storey house.
"Oh shit" uncle Mike said quietly to uncle Billie, "Listen I'll go in and you stay here with Tara," and he began to run towards the house as uncle Billie gripped my hand, uncle Mike didnt get far though, because just as he reached the front door, my mum emerged, carryiang a suitcase which wasn't fully closed, she had puffy eyes and one of her cheeks were bright red, she grabbed my hand from uncle Billie's and started leading me towards here old-school convertible.
"I'm leaving Frank!" she shouted tearily to daddy who was now standing at the door, also puffy eyed, with one of his cheeks bleeding.
"I'm leaving, I'm going back to Ireland (my mums Irish so I'm half Irish) and I'm never coming back 'cause I HATE YOU!" she screamed the last bit as she got into the car beside me.
I was bawling my eyes out at this stage, crying for, "my daddy", but my mum ignored me, and we drove away, away from, Billie and Mike, whom I loved as uncles, and my dad, Tre Cool
"Honey, honey wake up we're here, come on," my mum whispered as she shook me gently. I woke up, looking dazed, realising I must have fallen asleep. "Come on Tara we're here, your dad said he'd meet us outside."
I just stared at her in complete shock, not believing that my own mother could sprout such bullshit out of her mouth. "Mother dearest," I said finally in a syrupy sweet false voice, "Do you think I'm retarded or blind or both!? Don't think that I dont know what you're up to, you dont give a shit about me and my 'father figure', you just want to go back to that guy, Brad, that you met last time we were over visiting dad, God you're so selfish!!" I shouted at the end.
"Tara please!!" my mother tried to plead with me. "Yes I do want to go back to see Brad, but of course I care about you! Don't you dare say that I don't! Please, I thought you'd be happy to go back, you would be able to see your dad all the time then!" my mum said, trying to look hopeful. "Whatever," I huffed as I began to leave the table, "Wreck my life why dont you."
***
It was two months later and I was sitting in my room, with half-packed boxes covering my floor, my guitars and basses all in their cases, and my drum-kit, my most prized possesion standing in the corner. I was leaving that 'til last, my dad still doesnt know that I play them in a band. Yes we were moving, my mum got her way in the end, even though I didn't mind that much. I didn't want to let her know that, I wanted her to feel guilty, because after all, she was tearing me away from my friends, and my band.
The next evening was the evening before my mum and I moved back to Oakland, and my friends and I were meeting up in TGI Friday's as a farewell to me.
I got the train into Dublin city centre and we all went in and sat down, me in the middle, beside me was my best friend, and bassist in our band 'The Novacaines', Joelle, and beside her our lead guitarist and singer, Matty and on the other side of me was our rythm guitarist, Patrick.
All along the table were my friends, Naomi, Sarah, Dearbhaile, Ciara, Aishling, Grainne, Fiona and last of all, Lainey. We all ate and and talked about the good times we'd had over the years of our friendship, alot of my mates got teary eyed towards the end, "Guys chill, I'll be back next Summer!" I reassured them. "Yeah but that's ages away," said Sarah, wiping her eyes.
After I'd said goodbye to all my friends and hugged and kissed the life out of them it was just me and my faithful band left, we all looked at each other silently. "Well......I guess this is it," I breathed. "Promise me you'll find a good replacement."
"Oh my God, come here" Joelle cried and gave a me massive hug soon followed by Matty and Patrick.
"Bye guys," I whispered as I got onto the train (they get the bus home), "I'll miss you." On the way home on the train I started crying silently to myself, I suddenly didnt feel so enthusiastic about going anymore.
Next day at about 10 AM, Irish time, I was sitting in a plane waiting to take me off back to the life I thought I'd escaped and thought I'd only have to revisit two weeks every second summer or so. I looked over at my mum who had already taken some sleeping tablets, and then looked back at the window as I reflected on my early childhood.....
I was 5, it was the day after my Birthday, August 13th 1995, and i was sitting watching telly at around 3 o' clock in the afternoon on a sunny afternoon in Oakland. My parents were in the kitchen talking about something, apparently daddy had to go on tour again and mum was not very happy about it, but I didn't care, I was excited 'cause uncle Billie and uncle Mike were coming around later and I couldn't wait to see them. Uncle Billie always picked me up and swung me around like an airoplane and I loved it. Suddenly I heard the raised voices of my parents in the kitchen I lowered down the volume of the T.V. to hear what they were saying..."Frank I cannot believe you, you were only on tour six months ago, how could you leave me again, how could you leave Tara again? She needs you Frank, she loves you so much, I don't want her growing up without a father by her side".
"Oh for fucks sake Avanon (my mum), you knew from the day we got married that I was going to be away a lot, and so were you up until recently, always at uni, studying for your stupid music management job (Avanon works at Reprise), and my names Tre, not Frank you idiot!".
"How dare you! How fucking dare you!" and I heard my mum slap daddy accross the face. I couldn't listen anymore, this is the biggst fight they'e ever had, as I was running out to the front garden I heard china being shattered,
"Oh no," I cried. Just then I saw uncle Billie and uncle Mike pulling up, I ran over to them crying.
"Hey lil' Tara," Billie said, bending down to do the airoplane, but then he noticed something was up as I was crying.
"Whats wrong hun?" uncle Mike asked, "Wheres monnmy and daddy?".
"It's them," I cried, "Theyre fighting and hitting each other," and I pointed shakily towards the two-storey house.
"Oh shit" uncle Mike said quietly to uncle Billie, "Listen I'll go in and you stay here with Tara," and he began to run towards the house as uncle Billie gripped my hand, uncle Mike didnt get far though, because just as he reached the front door, my mum emerged, carryiang a suitcase which wasn't fully closed, she had puffy eyes and one of her cheeks were bright red, she grabbed my hand from uncle Billie's and started leading me towards here old-school convertible.
"I'm leaving Frank!" she shouted tearily to daddy who was now standing at the door, also puffy eyed, with one of his cheeks bleeding.
"I'm leaving, I'm going back to Ireland (my mums Irish so I'm half Irish) and I'm never coming back 'cause I HATE YOU!" she screamed the last bit as she got into the car beside me.
I was bawling my eyes out at this stage, crying for, "my daddy", but my mum ignored me, and we drove away, away from, Billie and Mike, whom I loved as uncles, and my dad, Tre Cool
"Honey, honey wake up we're here, come on," my mum whispered as she shook me gently. I woke up, looking dazed, realising I must have fallen asleep. "Come on Tara we're here, your dad said he'd meet us outside."
