16, chapter 1
I was sitting on the floor of my bedroom in our apartment in southern California. I heard the knock on the front door but seeing as mum was home I didn't get up. I was comfortable. I was leaning against the wall, listening to my favourite CD and stitching a new patch onto my bag.
It wasn't until I heard the yelling that I decided to turn off my music and see who it was. My mum never yells. She is generally a very calm person (that's what pisses me off about her sometimes) so needless to say, I was rather curious as to who was making her this angry.
I got up off my comfy spot on the floor, walked quietly to the door and crept down the hall, not wanting to let my mum and whoever it was know that I was listening.
"I just wanted to see her," a familiar yet strange voice said.
"But why now?" My mum yelled back, "After all this time?"
"I know I haven't been here, but I'm here now!" I know that voice, where have I heard it before?
I edged a little around the corner to get a look at who it was, hoping they couldn't see me. I saw my mum sit down at the kitchen table, placing her elbows on the table and her face in her hands.
Standing across from her was someone I never thought I would see this close, let alone in my apartment.
"I want to see Danielle," he said again, this time much quieter.
"A year or two ago I would have said that she wants to see you too," my mum said "but now... She's given up on you Mike. You were never here and she waited for you to come and see her for 16 years... she's given up on you."
"I know I wasn't here, but I'm here now and I'm her father and I want to see her and be part of her life."
What the fuck is going on? Mike Dirnt is standing in my living room talking with my mum about me. Unless mum has some other kid with the same name as me who she's never mentioned they must be talking about me, right?
I looked down at the t-shirt I was wearing. It was my oldest Green Day t-shirt. Surprisingly it still fits me; it was somewhat gigantic when I first got it. I had gotten it when I first started to really get into Green Day when I was 9. American Idiot had just came out and I was going through all of mum's CDs because I knew she had some Green Day in there. She had all of their CDs. She told me that when she used to live in Berkeley, her and her friends would go and see them, back when they were called Sweet Children.
I had always liked their music because I had grown up with it. I stole all mum's Green Day CDs and they became my favourite band. I was proud to like the same music that mum did when she was younger. She bought me heaps of merchandise like T-shirts, posters and stuff and she even gave me an old vinyl record that she had gotten signed back just after Kerplunk came out. It's framed and sits on my wall above my bed.
Mum had bought me the T-shirt for Christmas in 2004 and obviously I still wear it. It was black, like most of my t-shirts, with Green Day written in red dripping writing, it had the faces of Billie Joe, Tre and the man standing in my living room, stenciled on it in white.
What is happening? The only explanation is that this man, Mike Dirnt, is my father, right? The man who left my mother before I was born, the man that has never ever written to me or sent me a Birthday card, the man that I've never heard from, is the same man that supplied the base line for half of my CD collection, that I have idolized for half of my life.
I didn't realize that in the shock of what was happening, I had stumbled out of my hiding place in the shadows of the hall and into the light of the Kitchen/Living Room, into clear view of my mum and my supposed father.
He looked up and we locked eyes for a couple of seconds before I realized I was staring and who I was staring at and switched my gaze to my mum. She nodded slowly to the question that I didn't even have to ask. I looked back at Mike.
So this was the man I had idolized and hated at the same time for years with out even knowing it?
"Danielle... " he breathed quietly, looking at me in shock, obviously finally realizing that he had a living breathing 16 year old daughter, even though he was the one that sought me out in the first place.
He's shocked? For fuck's sake. My father is Mike Fucking Dirnt. How could he do this to me? How could he not come and see me? Why didn't anyone ever tell me? My Mum... How could she keep this from me when she knew how much I wanted to know my father and how much I idolized him and the rest of Green Day? She lied to me. And he wasn't even here my whole life. I'm sure if he had been, he would have lied to me too.
"Dani?" I was pulled from my thoughts by my mother. "Honey?" she said cautiously. Not being able to take it any longer, I turned around, ran back to my room where I grabbed my keys to the Basement and my drumsticks off the desk and ran back past my still silent parents and out the front door, which I slammed as hard as I could.
--Mike's POV--
"Dani?" Jackie said. "Honey?" she continued.
This is not good. I had been hoping that it would have gone better. Tears were visible in Danielle's eyes and she ran back down the hall to what I assumed was her bedroom. Before I had the chance to run after her she had ran back past me and out of the door. Shit. This definitely could have gone better.
I went to go and find her when Jackie stopped me.
"I wouldn't go after her if I were you." She said.
"Why not?"
"She's pissed off and upset. She's gone to vent some steam, let her be alone."
"Will she be okay?"
"She'll be fine after awhile; she's just gone down to the Basement."
"The Basement?"
"Yeah, it used to be used as the general lounge for all the adults in the building but it never got used so we handed it over to the kids, surprisingly there are quite a few in the building, and now it's like a chill out room for the teenagers that live here. Dani's drumkit's down there, so I'd say she's down there smashing the shit out of her drums."
"She plays the drums?" I asked. Stevie nodded and walked over to the kettle and switched it on. "I want to see her play." I added.
"You'll get your chance to see her play later. Right now, just let her be. Have a cup of coffee. She's got band practice in half an hour so you can go down and stand in the door way while they play."
"She's in a band?" I said, not able to keep the pride out of my voice.
--Dani's POV--
I was sitting at my drumkit when the rest of my band walked in. Two of my best friends made their way through the throng of people that had come down to The Basement to watch us play. There were always quite a few people at our practice sessions. It was just a thing you did on a Saturday afternoon if you were a punk rock loving teenager living in the building. All the regulars were there with their friends from elsewhere that had also come to be regulars.
When the rest of the band got to the small stage in the corner of the Basement and they saw my puffy red eyes they quickly came over to me.
"Are you okay?" my best girl friend and the bass player in our band, Alex, said.
"What happened?" asked James, our front man.
Before I answered them, I wondered vaguely for a second where our rhythm guitarist, Cody, was. I then remembered that he was visiting relatives in New York.
"What happened?" James asked again.
"My father came over." I said blankly, looking up at Alex who had never been so shocked. "I met my Dad."
"Oh my god," Alex said quietly. "What was he like?"
The rest of the people in the room were getting a little restless and curious as to what was going on and why we hadn't started playing yet; we didn't usually like to waste time and we're usually happiest when playing.
"I'll tell you about it later, let's just play."
"Are you sure?" James said with concern in his eyes. "You don't look up to playing."
"No, it's just what I need," I said "To bash the shit out of something."
Alex leant over and gave me a hug before picking up her bass and organizing the amp and chords of her microphone and stuff.
We went straight into Knowledge, an Operation Ivy cover. Although, no matter how many times I listen to the original version, I can never help thinking of it as a Green Day song. Probably because 1039 is my favourite Green Day album. Our band does a lot of Green Day covers, which usually makes me happy, but then it just made everything all too hard to understand and deal with.
As we finished Knowledge, I looked up passed Alex who gave me a sympathetic look. I looked over the small audience we had and to the doorway of the room. I knew mum would bring him down to watch us practice. I just wish she hadn't. This was my time to get away from everything, how was I supposed to do that with him standing there looking at me as though he had been there for me as I grew up?
I quickly looked away when I felt the prickling feeling I had in my eyes that would soon turn into fresh tears, and I started to drum the beginning of Longview.
It wasn't until I heard the yelling that I decided to turn off my music and see who it was. My mum never yells. She is generally a very calm person (that's what pisses me off about her sometimes) so needless to say, I was rather curious as to who was making her this angry.
I got up off my comfy spot on the floor, walked quietly to the door and crept down the hall, not wanting to let my mum and whoever it was know that I was listening.
"I just wanted to see her," a familiar yet strange voice said.
"But why now?" My mum yelled back, "After all this time?"
"I know I haven't been here, but I'm here now!" I know that voice, where have I heard it before?
I edged a little around the corner to get a look at who it was, hoping they couldn't see me. I saw my mum sit down at the kitchen table, placing her elbows on the table and her face in her hands.
Standing across from her was someone I never thought I would see this close, let alone in my apartment.
"I want to see Danielle," he said again, this time much quieter.
"A year or two ago I would have said that she wants to see you too," my mum said "but now... She's given up on you Mike. You were never here and she waited for you to come and see her for 16 years... she's given up on you."
"I know I wasn't here, but I'm here now and I'm her father and I want to see her and be part of her life."
What the fuck is going on? Mike Dirnt is standing in my living room talking with my mum about me. Unless mum has some other kid with the same name as me who she's never mentioned they must be talking about me, right?
I looked down at the t-shirt I was wearing. It was my oldest Green Day t-shirt. Surprisingly it still fits me; it was somewhat gigantic when I first got it. I had gotten it when I first started to really get into Green Day when I was 9. American Idiot had just came out and I was going through all of mum's CDs because I knew she had some Green Day in there. She had all of their CDs. She told me that when she used to live in Berkeley, her and her friends would go and see them, back when they were called Sweet Children.
I had always liked their music because I had grown up with it. I stole all mum's Green Day CDs and they became my favourite band. I was proud to like the same music that mum did when she was younger. She bought me heaps of merchandise like T-shirts, posters and stuff and she even gave me an old vinyl record that she had gotten signed back just after Kerplunk came out. It's framed and sits on my wall above my bed.
Mum had bought me the T-shirt for Christmas in 2004 and obviously I still wear it. It was black, like most of my t-shirts, with Green Day written in red dripping writing, it had the faces of Billie Joe, Tre and the man standing in my living room, stenciled on it in white.
What is happening? The only explanation is that this man, Mike Dirnt, is my father, right? The man who left my mother before I was born, the man that has never ever written to me or sent me a Birthday card, the man that I've never heard from, is the same man that supplied the base line for half of my CD collection, that I have idolized for half of my life.
I didn't realize that in the shock of what was happening, I had stumbled out of my hiding place in the shadows of the hall and into the light of the Kitchen/Living Room, into clear view of my mum and my supposed father.
He looked up and we locked eyes for a couple of seconds before I realized I was staring and who I was staring at and switched my gaze to my mum. She nodded slowly to the question that I didn't even have to ask. I looked back at Mike.
So this was the man I had idolized and hated at the same time for years with out even knowing it?
"Danielle... " he breathed quietly, looking at me in shock, obviously finally realizing that he had a living breathing 16 year old daughter, even though he was the one that sought me out in the first place.
He's shocked? For fuck's sake. My father is Mike Fucking Dirnt. How could he do this to me? How could he not come and see me? Why didn't anyone ever tell me? My Mum... How could she keep this from me when she knew how much I wanted to know my father and how much I idolized him and the rest of Green Day? She lied to me. And he wasn't even here my whole life. I'm sure if he had been, he would have lied to me too.
"Dani?" I was pulled from my thoughts by my mother. "Honey?" she said cautiously. Not being able to take it any longer, I turned around, ran back to my room where I grabbed my keys to the Basement and my drumsticks off the desk and ran back past my still silent parents and out the front door, which I slammed as hard as I could.
--Mike's POV--
"Dani?" Jackie said. "Honey?" she continued.
This is not good. I had been hoping that it would have gone better. Tears were visible in Danielle's eyes and she ran back down the hall to what I assumed was her bedroom. Before I had the chance to run after her she had ran back past me and out of the door. Shit. This definitely could have gone better.
I went to go and find her when Jackie stopped me.
"I wouldn't go after her if I were you." She said.
"Why not?"
"She's pissed off and upset. She's gone to vent some steam, let her be alone."
"Will she be okay?"
"She'll be fine after awhile; she's just gone down to the Basement."
"The Basement?"
"Yeah, it used to be used as the general lounge for all the adults in the building but it never got used so we handed it over to the kids, surprisingly there are quite a few in the building, and now it's like a chill out room for the teenagers that live here. Dani's drumkit's down there, so I'd say she's down there smashing the shit out of her drums."
"She plays the drums?" I asked. Stevie nodded and walked over to the kettle and switched it on. "I want to see her play." I added.
"You'll get your chance to see her play later. Right now, just let her be. Have a cup of coffee. She's got band practice in half an hour so you can go down and stand in the door way while they play."
"She's in a band?" I said, not able to keep the pride out of my voice.
--Dani's POV--
I was sitting at my drumkit when the rest of my band walked in. Two of my best friends made their way through the throng of people that had come down to The Basement to watch us play. There were always quite a few people at our practice sessions. It was just a thing you did on a Saturday afternoon if you were a punk rock loving teenager living in the building. All the regulars were there with their friends from elsewhere that had also come to be regulars.
When the rest of the band got to the small stage in the corner of the Basement and they saw my puffy red eyes they quickly came over to me.
"Are you okay?" my best girl friend and the bass player in our band, Alex, said.
"What happened?" asked James, our front man.
Before I answered them, I wondered vaguely for a second where our rhythm guitarist, Cody, was. I then remembered that he was visiting relatives in New York.
"What happened?" James asked again.
"My father came over." I said blankly, looking up at Alex who had never been so shocked. "I met my Dad."
"Oh my god," Alex said quietly. "What was he like?"
The rest of the people in the room were getting a little restless and curious as to what was going on and why we hadn't started playing yet; we didn't usually like to waste time and we're usually happiest when playing.
"I'll tell you about it later, let's just play."
"Are you sure?" James said with concern in his eyes. "You don't look up to playing."
"No, it's just what I need," I said "To bash the shit out of something."
Alex leant over and gave me a hug before picking up her bass and organizing the amp and chords of her microphone and stuff.
We went straight into Knowledge, an Operation Ivy cover. Although, no matter how many times I listen to the original version, I can never help thinking of it as a Green Day song. Probably because 1039 is my favourite Green Day album. Our band does a lot of Green Day covers, which usually makes me happy, but then it just made everything all too hard to understand and deal with.
As we finished Knowledge, I looked up passed Alex who gave me a sympathetic look. I looked over the small audience we had and to the doorway of the room. I knew mum would bring him down to watch us practice. I just wish she hadn't. This was my time to get away from everything, how was I supposed to do that with him standing there looking at me as though he had been there for me as I grew up?
I quickly looked away when I felt the prickling feeling I had in my eyes that would soon turn into fresh tears, and I started to drum the beginning of Longview.
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