16, chapter 7
<p>We were halfway through our 8th song, Alex happily using her new fluorescent green and pink pick, when we heard the sounds of the fire alarms. They were shrill and made everyone in the room shit themselves.<br /> We stopped playing as everyone began to make their way to the exit. We didn't know where in the building the fire was but we sure as hell knew that we didn't want to get trapped in the basement with a fire raging around us. I picked up my bag and clutched my drumsticks tightly; I hoped no one was hurt. I noticed that Alex and James were both holding their instruments, not wanting to risk them being burnt. Sadly my drums are a little bit hard to carry with me in an emergency situation.</p>
<p>We rushed out into the car park where most of the residents of the apartment complex were standing, looking up at the burning building. I noticed a couple of fire trucks and even an ambulance and a police car.<br /> I stood between James and Alex and we all looked up at the building for the first time. It was hard to miss the flames and smoke that was coming out of the windows of a couple of the apartments. One persons home seemed to be the center of the blaze, with the neighbouring flats also beginning to burn as well. I was beginning to wonder who lived in the apartment at the center of it all, wondering if I knew the people, when I really looked at where in the building the home was situated, which floor it was on. It was on my floor... somewhere in the middle of all the balconies... where my home was situated. Holy fuck... that was my apartment. I was completely oblivious to my two best friends standing beside me, both of them also making the same realization I had just made.<br /> I looked around, desperately trying to spot my Mum in the group of people standing around, watching the fire in awe and fright. I couldn't see her and I was beginning to really panic. I took a break in looking around, to gaze up at the fire, I saw two firemen rushing in my front door. I watched intently, wondering why they had run in there without hoses or anything to put out the flames. They reappeared a couple of minutes later, one of the holding a limp bundle of something in there arms. It took me a few seconds to realize what they were carrying. I saw the people from the ambulance rush forward with a stretcher to meet the firefighters.</p>
<p>The limp bundle was placed on a stretcher and quickly wheeled to the ambulance. I screamed as I felt as though I couldn't breathe, realizing who the person was that was being taken away. I ran forward, half aware that Alex and James were running along behind me. I reached the ambulance where the workers told me to stay back with the rest of the crowd.<br />
"That's my Mum!" I screamed, trying to get past the people stopping me. Alex and James must have realized what kind of condition my Mum was in before I did because I felt them grab my arms to try and hold me back. <br />
I looked past the seemingly faceless man trying to stop me from seeing my mother's unconscious form. Tears were streaming down my face as I realized that the paramedics' attempts to resuscitate her were all in vain. I knew at that moment, as the blackness engulfed me and the tears flowed, that my life was about to change forever. </p>
I look down and stand there and cry
Nothing ever will be the same
The sun is rising, now I ask why?
The clouds now fall and here comes the rain.
***
<p>As I drove away from my mother's funeral, tears no longer flowing freely down my face like they had been doing for the past week, I thought about what was going to happen now. I knew that I would go to live with Mike, but how would that work? I couldn't even last two nights in his world and now I was expected to live there?</p>
<p>The funeral had been the hardest part of this whole thing. Alex and James had been there, by my side the whole time, giving me a shoulder or two to cry on as they too had tears falling down there cheeks. Billie and Tre had both turned up. They said that even though they hadn't seen her in 16 years, they still missed her. They had brought Adie and Claudia with them as well. Even Sam was there, to support her husband. </p>
<p>I knew that it was hard for everyone that was there, but I also know that it was hardest for me. Not only did I have to deal with losing my mother and my best friend, I had to endure the looks of sympathy and the constant reminder of what had happened as everyone expressed to me there deepest sorrows and apologies.<br />"Are you sure you want to do this now?" Mike asked me, looking down at me with the look that everyone was now giving me, the one that told you that they were feeling extremely sorry for you.<br />"Yeah," I said. I swallowed and blinked back a few fresh tears, now brewing in my eyelids. "I want to get it over with." <br />We pulled into the car park of mine and Mum's old apartment building. It was time to go through the apartment to see what could be salvaged and what was damaged beyond repair, I had been allowed to wait till after the funeral to do this which is something I am most grateful for. Mike got out of the car first and came around to my door to open it for me; he had been doing a lot of those little things for me over the past week, to let me know that he really did care. </p>
<p>I didn't pay much attention to my surroundings as we walked to my flat, up the stairs and down the hall, ducking underneath the police tape that had been put up around the burnt parts of the building. I felt my breath catch in my throat as I walked through the doorway and into the living room. I looked around at my burnt surroundings, I noticed that the whole room was black, I wasn't sure if there was anything that I could save from the Living Room. </p>
<p>I walked over to what was left of the coffee table to see that what was once a drawer was now a pile of ruble. I flicked through the items, trying to find something that I recognized, something to save, but there was nothing. I could hardly distinguish the kitchen from the rest of the living area, so I knew that there would be nothing there worth taking with me. I walked down the hall and passed my Mum's bedroom, I would get to that later, and it was too soon after saying goodbye to her, to look in her room. </p>
<p>I entered my bedroom and saw that the fire had only gotten through half of it, and that although a thick film of black seemed to be covering most of my belongings, a lot of them might be able to be saved.<br /> My beanbag was destroyed; the pin-up board that had been covered in photos and magazine clippings was now a pile of ash on the floor; and my wardrobe which had been full of clothes had crumbled into pieces, most of the clothes inside burnt, although I managed to save a few items, not really paying attentions to what they were. But what made me the most upset was when I saw that my photo albums had been burnt to a crisp. All those memories gone, thankfully I had given Mike an album, so I would at least have a few, although I knew that there wasn't many of Mum in the album I had given him. I walked across to the side of the room, where there was more stuff that had survived the fire. My Kerplunk CD was still hanging on the wall; I pulled it down and wiped off the layer of black dust that had settled onto it. As I was looking at it, I began to think of what else had been in my room, what else there was that I needed to find. I frantically looked around my bed, before quickly dropping to my hands and knees to look under the bed where I found my old teddy, now in desperate need of a wash. Thankfully I had had my canvas bag with me when I had gone down to band practice the day of the fire so everything was in it, the thing I couldn't bear to lose being my notebook, wasn't harmed. The least damaged wall was the wall which had my sex pistols and American Idiot block mount hanging on it. Thankfully that were both unharmed. </p>
<p>I gathered up everything worth keeping and, with Mike's help, carried it all outside the apartment, leaving it where we would be able to grab it and take it to the car, after I went through Mum's room.</p>
We walked back to Mum's doorway where Mike stood patiently a few steps behind me waiting until I was ready to go in. I swallowed hard and walked in. I slowly went through Mum's belongings, finding the odd thing here or there that I could keep. After I had gotten everything salvageable, I turned to leave the room, giving Mike, who was standing as the door way, a weak smile. </p>
<p>As I was walking to the door, I heard something, that I hadn't noticed and accidentally stepped on, crack. I looked down to see what looked like a photo frame. I bent down and picked it up, turning it over slowly to reveal a picture of my mother and me when I graduated from elementary school, both of us grinning from ear to ear behind the now cracked glass of the frame. I felt the tears well in my eyes and, before I could stop them, spill out onto my face. I looked up at Mike who I saw also had tears in his eyes. I rushed over to him and threw my arms around him. He seemed shocked for a few seconds before he wrapped his arms around me. At that moment I didn't care about the anger I had been feeling for Mike, or Estelle or Joey, or what my life was going to be like now, all I cared about was that I was standing in my fathers embrace and for the first time in my life I felt like I had a Dad, the sad thing was... I no longer had a mother.</p>
<p>We rushed out into the car park where most of the residents of the apartment complex were standing, looking up at the burning building. I noticed a couple of fire trucks and even an ambulance and a police car.<br /> I stood between James and Alex and we all looked up at the building for the first time. It was hard to miss the flames and smoke that was coming out of the windows of a couple of the apartments. One persons home seemed to be the center of the blaze, with the neighbouring flats also beginning to burn as well. I was beginning to wonder who lived in the apartment at the center of it all, wondering if I knew the people, when I really looked at where in the building the home was situated, which floor it was on. It was on my floor... somewhere in the middle of all the balconies... where my home was situated. Holy fuck... that was my apartment. I was completely oblivious to my two best friends standing beside me, both of them also making the same realization I had just made.<br /> I looked around, desperately trying to spot my Mum in the group of people standing around, watching the fire in awe and fright. I couldn't see her and I was beginning to really panic. I took a break in looking around, to gaze up at the fire, I saw two firemen rushing in my front door. I watched intently, wondering why they had run in there without hoses or anything to put out the flames. They reappeared a couple of minutes later, one of the holding a limp bundle of something in there arms. It took me a few seconds to realize what they were carrying. I saw the people from the ambulance rush forward with a stretcher to meet the firefighters.</p>
<p>The limp bundle was placed on a stretcher and quickly wheeled to the ambulance. I screamed as I felt as though I couldn't breathe, realizing who the person was that was being taken away. I ran forward, half aware that Alex and James were running along behind me. I reached the ambulance where the workers told me to stay back with the rest of the crowd.<br />
"That's my Mum!" I screamed, trying to get past the people stopping me. Alex and James must have realized what kind of condition my Mum was in before I did because I felt them grab my arms to try and hold me back. <br />
I looked past the seemingly faceless man trying to stop me from seeing my mother's unconscious form. Tears were streaming down my face as I realized that the paramedics' attempts to resuscitate her were all in vain. I knew at that moment, as the blackness engulfed me and the tears flowed, that my life was about to change forever. </p>
I look down and stand there and cry
Nothing ever will be the same
The sun is rising, now I ask why?
The clouds now fall and here comes the rain.
***
<p>As I drove away from my mother's funeral, tears no longer flowing freely down my face like they had been doing for the past week, I thought about what was going to happen now. I knew that I would go to live with Mike, but how would that work? I couldn't even last two nights in his world and now I was expected to live there?</p>
<p>The funeral had been the hardest part of this whole thing. Alex and James had been there, by my side the whole time, giving me a shoulder or two to cry on as they too had tears falling down there cheeks. Billie and Tre had both turned up. They said that even though they hadn't seen her in 16 years, they still missed her. They had brought Adie and Claudia with them as well. Even Sam was there, to support her husband. </p>
<p>I knew that it was hard for everyone that was there, but I also know that it was hardest for me. Not only did I have to deal with losing my mother and my best friend, I had to endure the looks of sympathy and the constant reminder of what had happened as everyone expressed to me there deepest sorrows and apologies.<br />"Are you sure you want to do this now?" Mike asked me, looking down at me with the look that everyone was now giving me, the one that told you that they were feeling extremely sorry for you.<br />"Yeah," I said. I swallowed and blinked back a few fresh tears, now brewing in my eyelids. "I want to get it over with." <br />We pulled into the car park of mine and Mum's old apartment building. It was time to go through the apartment to see what could be salvaged and what was damaged beyond repair, I had been allowed to wait till after the funeral to do this which is something I am most grateful for. Mike got out of the car first and came around to my door to open it for me; he had been doing a lot of those little things for me over the past week, to let me know that he really did care. </p>
<p>I didn't pay much attention to my surroundings as we walked to my flat, up the stairs and down the hall, ducking underneath the police tape that had been put up around the burnt parts of the building. I felt my breath catch in my throat as I walked through the doorway and into the living room. I looked around at my burnt surroundings, I noticed that the whole room was black, I wasn't sure if there was anything that I could save from the Living Room. </p>
<p>I walked over to what was left of the coffee table to see that what was once a drawer was now a pile of ruble. I flicked through the items, trying to find something that I recognized, something to save, but there was nothing. I could hardly distinguish the kitchen from the rest of the living area, so I knew that there would be nothing there worth taking with me. I walked down the hall and passed my Mum's bedroom, I would get to that later, and it was too soon after saying goodbye to her, to look in her room. </p>
<p>I entered my bedroom and saw that the fire had only gotten through half of it, and that although a thick film of black seemed to be covering most of my belongings, a lot of them might be able to be saved.<br /> My beanbag was destroyed; the pin-up board that had been covered in photos and magazine clippings was now a pile of ash on the floor; and my wardrobe which had been full of clothes had crumbled into pieces, most of the clothes inside burnt, although I managed to save a few items, not really paying attentions to what they were. But what made me the most upset was when I saw that my photo albums had been burnt to a crisp. All those memories gone, thankfully I had given Mike an album, so I would at least have a few, although I knew that there wasn't many of Mum in the album I had given him. I walked across to the side of the room, where there was more stuff that had survived the fire. My Kerplunk CD was still hanging on the wall; I pulled it down and wiped off the layer of black dust that had settled onto it. As I was looking at it, I began to think of what else had been in my room, what else there was that I needed to find. I frantically looked around my bed, before quickly dropping to my hands and knees to look under the bed where I found my old teddy, now in desperate need of a wash. Thankfully I had had my canvas bag with me when I had gone down to band practice the day of the fire so everything was in it, the thing I couldn't bear to lose being my notebook, wasn't harmed. The least damaged wall was the wall which had my sex pistols and American Idiot block mount hanging on it. Thankfully that were both unharmed. </p>
<p>I gathered up everything worth keeping and, with Mike's help, carried it all outside the apartment, leaving it where we would be able to grab it and take it to the car, after I went through Mum's room.</p>
We walked back to Mum's doorway where Mike stood patiently a few steps behind me waiting until I was ready to go in. I swallowed hard and walked in. I slowly went through Mum's belongings, finding the odd thing here or there that I could keep. After I had gotten everything salvageable, I turned to leave the room, giving Mike, who was standing as the door way, a weak smile. </p>
<p>As I was walking to the door, I heard something, that I hadn't noticed and accidentally stepped on, crack. I looked down to see what looked like a photo frame. I bent down and picked it up, turning it over slowly to reveal a picture of my mother and me when I graduated from elementary school, both of us grinning from ear to ear behind the now cracked glass of the frame. I felt the tears well in my eyes and, before I could stop them, spill out onto my face. I looked up at Mike who I saw also had tears in his eyes. I rushed over to him and threw my arms around him. He seemed shocked for a few seconds before he wrapped his arms around me. At that moment I didn't care about the anger I had been feeling for Mike, or Estelle or Joey, or what my life was going to be like now, all I cared about was that I was standing in my fathers embrace and for the first time in my life I felt like I had a Dad, the sad thing was... I no longer had a mother.</p>
