A Different Kind of Love, chapter 15
Billie Joe lay in a little room off the recording studio, where he sat when he needed to feel alone. It was about the size of a closet, and pitch black. Billie fumbled for the CD player, and quietly inserted the music he needed to hear. Tre and Mike were making dinner as it was now dark. Billie felt the darkness swirling around him, and breathed in slowly. His feet were propped up on the door, and he rested his head underneath the speaker. All he could feel was the music. It started with one piano note:
All around me are familiar faces...worn out places...worn out faces...
Billie Joe felt the soothing piano and voice flowing through him and thought of Zach. He knew why he loved him so much...Zach was Billie Joe. He was his son...he was like Billie in every way. Abusive step father, dead father...and Billie Joe's mother might as well have been dead when he was a kid. Bullied at school...it was the life he'd left behind all over again...
When people run in circles its a very very...Mad World...Mad World...
Billie Joe felt hot tears running down his cheeks. They were the only thing to remind him where he was. He couldn't feel his body in the darkness, but felt his face being stained in tears. It reminded him...it rekindled the Zach in himself that he had failed to properly confront...to battle...he remembered...
Mad World...
"Billie Joe get your fucking arse down here now." Brad's yells richoeted from down stairs, piercing Billie's atmosphere. Billie Joe put down his guitar. He played it whenever Brad was alone with him like this. He didn't want to admit it, but he was scared of him. Billie would always come upstairs and play his guitar, and feel safe in his expression. Billie placed his guitar in his closet and walked downstairs. Brad pulled him down the last three stairs and slammed him into the wall.
"Shut your fucking guitar up before I smash it." He spat. Billie struggled against him. He hated it. He hated Brad more than anything. He wanted to kill him, hit him, make him bleed instead of Billie Joe finding his own blood all over his hands.
"I said SHUT IT!" Brad threw Billie onto the floor and booted him in the ribs. Billie yelled as Brad pulled him up again. Billie Joe tried to stand on his feet.
"That's it you little fucker. I'm sick of you. You're going to fight me. And I'm gonna fuckin' win. Then we'll know who's right." Billie looked at Brad, clutching his ribs. Brad was drunk off his face. Billie didn't want to fight him, but he thought he might stand a chance. He felt his head spinning and before he knew it Brad had punched him over his face, knocking him to the ground again.
"WHO'S WINNING BILLIE? YOU LITTLE PRICK, WHO IS FUCKING WINNING?" yelled Brad. Billie held his hand to his face and cupped a stream of blood from his nose and lip. He felt a surge of anger and jumped on his feet as best he could.
Billie Joe flew at Brad, knocking Brad onto the ground.
"I HATE YOU I HATE YOU! YOU'RE NOT MY FATHER YOU FUCKING PRICK! I HATE YOU!" Billie Joe screamed it all at once, punching Brad in any place he could get to. In his rage, Billie punched the floor hard and jarred his finger. He screamed and fell back, holding his hand. Before Billie even had a chance to blink Brad was on top of him. He hit Billie in the face and his shoulder. Billie screamed in pain and rolled over. Brad pulled him back, sitting on Billie Joe's chest. He scrunched Billie's shirt up and pinned him into the ground. Brad grabbed Billie's ribs hard where he had kicked him. Billie Joe lost air and gasped.
"I...fucking...win." he said, letting go of Billie. Billie drew in air as fast as he could, feeling pain penetrating all over his body. Brad got up off Billie Joe's chest and grabbed his forearm. He pulled Billie Joe's small body up and threw him on the stairs. Billie Joe spluttered blood all over himself and closed his eyes.
He felt Brad grab his arse hard and push.
"Get the fuck up the stairs Billie Joe. You could never fight me and win." Billie dragged himself up the stairs and collasped in tears on his bed.
"This will never happen again. Ever. FUCKING EVER!" yelled Billie, holding himself.
"I'm going to win next time...I'm gonna fucking win..."
The dreams in which I'm dying are the best I've ever had...and i find it hard to tell you...i find it hard to take...but when people run in circles its a very very...Mad World...
Billie Joe now felt his body heavily sinking into the floor. He knew what he had to do. He had to fight for Zach. This time he was going to win. Billie kicked the door open as hard as he could and grabbed the jacket he had wrapped Zach in when they first met. He walked into the kitchen and wiped his face before saying to Mike and Tre:
"Get your phone Mike. And Tre...grab Nimrod. We're gonna fucking save Zach."
All around me are familiar faces...worn out places...worn out faces...
Billie Joe felt the soothing piano and voice flowing through him and thought of Zach. He knew why he loved him so much...Zach was Billie Joe. He was his son...he was like Billie in every way. Abusive step father, dead father...and Billie Joe's mother might as well have been dead when he was a kid. Bullied at school...it was the life he'd left behind all over again...
When people run in circles its a very very...Mad World...Mad World...
Billie Joe felt hot tears running down his cheeks. They were the only thing to remind him where he was. He couldn't feel his body in the darkness, but felt his face being stained in tears. It reminded him...it rekindled the Zach in himself that he had failed to properly confront...to battle...he remembered...
Mad World...
"Billie Joe get your fucking arse down here now." Brad's yells richoeted from down stairs, piercing Billie's atmosphere. Billie Joe put down his guitar. He played it whenever Brad was alone with him like this. He didn't want to admit it, but he was scared of him. Billie would always come upstairs and play his guitar, and feel safe in his expression. Billie placed his guitar in his closet and walked downstairs. Brad pulled him down the last three stairs and slammed him into the wall.
"Shut your fucking guitar up before I smash it." He spat. Billie struggled against him. He hated it. He hated Brad more than anything. He wanted to kill him, hit him, make him bleed instead of Billie Joe finding his own blood all over his hands.
"I said SHUT IT!" Brad threw Billie onto the floor and booted him in the ribs. Billie yelled as Brad pulled him up again. Billie Joe tried to stand on his feet.
"That's it you little fucker. I'm sick of you. You're going to fight me. And I'm gonna fuckin' win. Then we'll know who's right." Billie looked at Brad, clutching his ribs. Brad was drunk off his face. Billie didn't want to fight him, but he thought he might stand a chance. He felt his head spinning and before he knew it Brad had punched him over his face, knocking him to the ground again.
"WHO'S WINNING BILLIE? YOU LITTLE PRICK, WHO IS FUCKING WINNING?" yelled Brad. Billie held his hand to his face and cupped a stream of blood from his nose and lip. He felt a surge of anger and jumped on his feet as best he could.
Billie Joe flew at Brad, knocking Brad onto the ground.
"I HATE YOU I HATE YOU! YOU'RE NOT MY FATHER YOU FUCKING PRICK! I HATE YOU!" Billie Joe screamed it all at once, punching Brad in any place he could get to. In his rage, Billie punched the floor hard and jarred his finger. He screamed and fell back, holding his hand. Before Billie even had a chance to blink Brad was on top of him. He hit Billie in the face and his shoulder. Billie screamed in pain and rolled over. Brad pulled him back, sitting on Billie Joe's chest. He scrunched Billie's shirt up and pinned him into the ground. Brad grabbed Billie's ribs hard where he had kicked him. Billie Joe lost air and gasped.
"I...fucking...win." he said, letting go of Billie. Billie drew in air as fast as he could, feeling pain penetrating all over his body. Brad got up off Billie Joe's chest and grabbed his forearm. He pulled Billie Joe's small body up and threw him on the stairs. Billie Joe spluttered blood all over himself and closed his eyes.
He felt Brad grab his arse hard and push.
"Get the fuck up the stairs Billie Joe. You could never fight me and win." Billie dragged himself up the stairs and collasped in tears on his bed.
"This will never happen again. Ever. FUCKING EVER!" yelled Billie, holding himself.
"I'm going to win next time...I'm gonna fucking win..."
The dreams in which I'm dying are the best I've ever had...and i find it hard to tell you...i find it hard to take...but when people run in circles its a very very...Mad World...
Billie Joe now felt his body heavily sinking into the floor. He knew what he had to do. He had to fight for Zach. This time he was going to win. Billie kicked the door open as hard as he could and grabbed the jacket he had wrapped Zach in when they first met. He walked into the kitchen and wiped his face before saying to Mike and Tre:
"Get your phone Mike. And Tre...grab Nimrod. We're gonna fucking save Zach."
