1987, chapter 5
"Like, oh my god, it's the freaks!" said Brittany, who was with her 'gang'.
"Like, oh my god, it's the slutty lesbian whore bags!" I retorted, making the whole table laugh.
"Like, what the fuck did you just call us punk?" said one of the other girls.
"Like, are you deaf or something?" I said, "I called you the Slutty Lesbian Whore Bags. Need me to spell that out for you?"
"Like, oh my god, you did NOT just say that," said Brittany.
"YES I DID. And stop fucking saying LIKE," I gave the 'Slut Gang' the evils.
"Like, make me," Brittany said, gaining cheers from her group.
"Trust me; you don't want her to make you do anything she made me cry! She can beat me up and I'm twice her size," said Tre, frowning slightly at the flashback.
"It's true. She's one tough bitch," said Billie.
I just nodded.
"Prove it," was Brittany's response.
"Nah, you're not worth the time or energy. I have better things to do than beat up little whores like you, thanks for the offer though!" I said, before motioning to my friends to follow me. The girls just stared after us.
"Let's go hang out by the tree!" suggested Mike.
"AND GET HIGH!" screamed Tre.
"Yay!" I said, laughing.
Billie got out 3 joints, and shared them out between the group. It was one joint between two. So obviously, Billie and Ash shared one, Mike and Ingrid shared one, and Sarah and Tre shared one.
After a while they were all high and each respective pair had gone through 3 joints each. By this time, it was 4pm.
***
"ARGHHH A BEE! HELP!" screamed Tre, making the rest of the group scream and run. "Just kidding," said Tre giggling.
"Fuck you Tre," said Billie.
"No thanks you're not my type... " said Tre.
"Oh, come on baby, you know you want me," said Billie winking.
By now, the girls and Mike were in fits of laughter.
"Oh, yeah, you're right I do, come here sexy," Tre replied winking at Billie.
"Fuck me bitch!" said Billie laughing.
"Anytime babe," said Tre.
"Oh, my, god, guys, stop," said Ash in between laughs.
"Are you getting jealous Ash? There's enough of me to go around," said Tre, winking.
"Haha, no thanks, I'm fine... " said Ash, who started laughing again at the look on Tre's face.
***
"Fuck, I feel like my head got run over by a steamroller," I said, holding my head in my hands, willing the pain to stop.
"Ugh, me to," came a muffled reply.
"What the hell? Where are you Bill?" I asked.
"In the closet," replied Billie.
"What the hell are you doing in there?" I asked, surprised.
"I have no fucking idea, ask Tre," muttered Billie.
"Typical Tre," I said, rolling my eyes.
"Stop talking about me and my sexy ass," said Tre walking into the room.
"Why did you lock Billie in the closet?" I asked, ignoring Tre's comment, and still trying to open the closet door.
"Uh... He was being annoying," replied Tre, shrugging.
"You're always being annoying Tre, and we never lock you in the fucking closet," I said.
"And?" said Tre.
"Tre, just get me the fucking key," I said, getting pissed off.
"It's right there," said Tre pointing to the table.
"Thank you," I said.
"FINALLY! I'm free!" yelled Billie. "Thanks Ashweenie!"
"You're welcome babe, and don't fucking call me Ashweenie," I said.
"Ash is a Weenie! Weenie and Weiner! Weeeee!" said Tre, laughing.
"Fuck up Tre," I said, getting a jar of peanut butter from the cupboard next to me, and throwing some at Tre.
"Oh my god! Peanut butter! FOOD FIGHT!" screamed Tre, just as Ingrid, Sarah and Mike walked in.
***
After about an hour of throwing food everywhere, the house was a mess, and there was no food in the fridge, it was all over the teens.
***
After they had cleaned up and had a shower, it was about 4pm, so they decided to go shopping for more food, before heading to Gilman for Green Day's gig.
***
6pm Backstage in the Gilman, 30minutes before Green Day's gig...
"You guys are going to be great," said Laurence, "I also have something to tell you, but I imagine you would want to celebrate, so I'll tell you after your show, alright?"
"Sure, Laur," I said, looking up from tuning my guitar.
Mike nodded, concentrating on tuning his bass perfectly, while Tre was too busy drumming on every reachable surface in the room to notice what was going on around him.
"And, what I have to tell you, includes you girls too, okay?" said Laur, now looking at Ash, Ingrid and Sarah.
"Okay," said the three girls.
"Cool, anyway, I better let you guys get ready, you're on in about 15 minutes, good luck!" said Laur, waving, before getting up and leaving the room.
"What songs are you gonna play?" Ash asked.
"Um, 409 in your coffee maker, at the library, the judges daughter, 2000 light years away, knowledge and my generation," I replied.
"Cool, good set, I better go into the crowd, see you guys after! Have fun!" said Ash. She jumped up kissed me, and ran outside.
Ingrid kissed Mike and followed Ash, while Sarah kissed Tre and followed Ash and Ingrid.
***
"Green Day, Green Day!" everyone was screaming. We were right at the front of the crowd, jumping up and down waiting for green day to come on.
"HEY, WHAT'S UP FREAKS?" screamed Billie, getting lots of screamed replies in return.
"RIGHT! MOST OF YOU ALREADY KNOW US, BUT IF YOU DON'T, WE'RE GREEN DAY!" Billie screamed into his mic.
"THIS FIRST SONG IS CALLED 409 IN YOUR COFFEE MAKER!" he screamed.
"YAY! GO GREEN DAY!" I screamed.
A few people who knew the words were singing along.
After the gig, Ingrid, Sarah and Ash went backstage to meet the guys.
"Hey guys, that was fucking brilliant," said Ingrid, grinning.
"It was AWESOME," screamed Sarah.
"It was Green Day-tastic!" said Ash, laughing.
"Haha, okay, guys, I am giving both bands a permanent spot here at Gilman," said Laurence.
"Ooh, thank you so much!" they all said in unison.
"No problems," said Laurence.
Just under 2 years later...
Everyone is now 17, both bands had been on tour, and are just wrapping up the tours now, Billie and Ash are still together, Ingrid and Mike are still together and so are Sarah and Tre. Ash's mother is in hospital with lung cancer, and her sister is in New York with her fiancé. Lookout! Records (Laurence's record label) has given Triple Threat and Green Day record deals. Both bands have released their first album, Green Day - 1,039 Smoothed Out Slappy Hours, and, Triple Threat - Ghosts. Today is February 13th 1989, 1 day before Valentines Day and 4 days before Billie's 18th birthday.
I was sitting in my room with Ingrid and Sarah, planning a surprise for Billie's birthday.
"What should we do guys?" I asked.
"Play a concert for him?" suggested Ingrid.
"Nah, he can see us play any day," I replied, "Good idea though,"
"Give him a surprise party with all his friends?" suggested Sarah.
"Yeah, and we could stick up green and black streamers, and balloons. And make a cake!!!" I said.
"Let's do that!" said Ingrid.
"SHOPPING TIME!" screamed Sarah.
Meanwhile...
"Guys, it's Valentines Day tomorrow, I'm going to do something really special for Ash, any ideas?" I said.
"How about hand cuff her to the bed and spray whipped cream all over her and eat it off her and then she sprays whipped cream all over you and eats it off?" suggested Tre.
"How about not?" said Billie laughing.
"Fine, I tried," said Tre.
"You're one horny fucker Tre," said Mike.
At the mall...
"Let's get these balloons, these streamers... " "No wait these streamers," I said.
"Get the smiley face balloons!" screamed Sarah.
"No, they only come in yellow!" said Ingrid.
"Aww, I want smiley face," pouted Sarah.
"Okay, get a bag Sarah, and then let's go get the cake stuff," I said laughing.
"YAY!" yelled Sarah. She grabbed the bag and threw it in the trolley and ran off to find the cake stuff.
"FOUND IT!" we heard, a few minutes later.
"Lets get the green food dye, the chocolate chips, the flour, eggs, sugar, and what ever else we need," I said, "We'll have to make it at my house, otherwise Billie will find out,"
"True," said Ingrid.
Sarah just nodded, and then she started tapping out a tune on the trolley bar.
"That's a good beat Sarah," I said.
"I know," she replied.
"Smart ass, okay, have we got everything we need?" I said.
"Yep," replied Ingrid.
"Let's go to the check out!" I said.
***
"Hey Billie!" I said, giving him a quick kiss. "Hey Mike, hey Tre,"
"Hey baby!" said Billie.
"Hey Ash," said Mike and Tre.
"Where's the others?" Billie asked.
"In the car," I replied.
"Not anymore!" said Sarah, coming in and kissing Tre. "Hey babe, miss me?"
"Hell yes," said Tre.
"Hey Mikey!" said Ingrid giving him a kiss and hug.
"Hey Hun, how was shopping?" he replied.
"How do you know we went shopping?" inquired Ingrid.
"The bags, dumbass," said Mike laughing.
"What ba — oh those bags, hehe, my bad," said Ingrid.
Mike took me aside as the others went into the living room to watch TV.
"Have you made any plans for BJ's birthday?" he asked.
"Yeah, kinda, it's going to be a surprise party, we have a green cake. And green streamers and balloons, why?" I replied.
"Just wondering," said Mike.
"Okay, don't tell BJ okay?" I said.
"I won't, I promise," he smiled.
"Thanks Mikey," I grinned, and gave him a hug, then walked to the sofa.
"No problem Hun." he said, following me.
I sat down next to Billie and he put his arm around my waist.
"Hey," he said.
"Hey," I replied grinning.
"PURPLE MONKEY DISHWASHER!" screamed Tre.
"What?" I said.
"That's what I was trying to think of earlier Billie, Purple Monkey Dishwasher!" said Tre.
"Ooh, right, yeah," said Billie nodding.
"Babe, what's a purple monkey dishwasher?" Sarah asked.
"It's a monkey that's purple and washes dishes... I think," said Tre frowning.
"Oh, okay, that explains it... I guess," she said.
The Next Morning...
"PANCAKES!" screamed someone downstairs.
"Fuck," I said, waking up. "Ooh, pancakes! OOOH COFFEE!"
I made my way slowly downstairs into the kitchen.
"COFFEE. NOW BITCH!" I yelled at Ingrid.
"Yes Ma'am," she said, saluting me.
"And while you're there, pancakes too please," I added.
"Yeah, yeah, okay," she said.
"Mikey, WAKE UP!" I said poking him in the ribs.
"Ouch, fuck off, I need coffee," he said.
"Don't we all," said Billie coming in.
"Hey babe!" I said, jumping up and giving him a hug and kiss.
"Hey, happy Valentines Day baby," he said, kissing and hugging me back.
"Thankies, happy V' day to you too," I said grinning.
"Coffee is served," said Ingrid.
"COFFEE!" screamed Tre, running into the kitchen and grabbing his pink and green spotted mug.
"Thanks Ingrid!" I said, taking my mug and taking 3 gulps of coffee.
"Come on coffee... WORK GOD DAMN YOU!" Mike said, talking to the coffee in his mug.
"Where's mine?" said Billie.
"You can share mine," I said smiling.
"YAY! Is it your special coffee with the chocolate?" asked Billie.
"Sure is!" I replied.
"YAY!" he yelled.
"Calm down!" I said laughing.
"Sorry mummy," he said pouting.
"Haha, you're strange... " I said.
"Mm, maybe, but you still love me... and I'm cute so yeah," said Billie grinning.
"Something like that!" I giggled.
I sat down on the sofa and Billie sat on my lap.
"Uh, Billie, you're squashing me... " I said.
"Pssh, you calling me fat now?" he said pouting.
"Nope, you've just got a fat ass," I grinned evilly.
"Eh, but you love it," he said, winking.
"No I don't," I said, raising one eyebrow.
"*Gasp* liar,"
"I would never do such a preposterous thing!"
"What's preposterous?" said Tre walking into the room and sitting on the chair next to the sofa.
"I don't know, it's a big word, I just wanted to sound smart, and I've heard Mike say it," I said shrugging.
"It means absurd, crazy, foolish, ridiculous, etc." said Mike, walking in.
"Look! It's the walking dictionary!" said Sarah, pointing to Mike.
"Look! It's the walking dumbasses!" said Mike, pointing at Sarah and Tre.
"HEY! No fair," said Tre.
"Bastard," muttered Sarah.
"Heard that... " said Mike.
"Heard what?" said Sarah, acting innocent.
"Heard you say bastard," replied Mike.
"NEVER! I said custard, to Tre," said Sarah.
"What ever you say... " said Mike.
"Mike, Tre, no band practise today, 'tis cancelled. We're going to go out instead," said Billie.
"Where to?" I asked.
"To a movie then a restaurant," said Billie.
"Cool!" said Tre.
"OW FUCK!" came from the kitchen.
"Ingrid? You okay Hun?" said Mike.
"I cut my finger," replied Ingrid.
"Hang on!" he called, and then got up and headed to the kitchen.
"Sarah, come with me for a sec, I wanna show you something," I said, motioning for her to follow me.
"What?" she asked when we got to my room.
"What am I gonna give Billie for Valentines Day? I forgot to get him something; I was so preoccupied with his birthday... " I said.
"Just give him a rose or something," Sarah suggested.
"Okay, thanks," I said, smiling.
"You're welcome," she said.
We walked back out to the living room.
"What's up girls?" Tre asked as we walked in.
"Nothing, she just wanted to show me a song she wrote," said Sarah.
"Cool, can I see it?" asked Billie.
"Uh, It's not done yet, I just needed to show her what I had and get her opinion on the start," I said.
"Oh okay," Billie replied.
"MONKEYS!!!!" screamed Tre, who had turned the TV on to the discovery channel.
"OOH! MONKEYS FUCKING!" screamed Sarah.
"ANAL!" screamed Tre laughing.
"BUTTFUCKERS!" screamed Billie joining in.
By now, Mike, Ingrid and I were on the floor in fits of laughter, laughing at Billie, Sarah and Tre, and not to mention the butt fucking monkeys.
"Aww, it's the ad's I WANT MORE BUTT FUCKING MONKEYS!" yelled Tre.
I picked up the remote and went to the Adult Cartoon Channel.
"OOH, BUTT FUCKING HUMAN CARTOON PEOPLE!" screamed Tre.
"OOOH, IT'S CARTOON PORNO!" yelled Sarah.
I changed the channel to Disney.
"DISNEY!" yelled Tre.
"BLUES CLUES!" yelled Billie.
"We are looking for blue's clues, we are looking for blues clues, we are looking for blues clues, wonder where they are!" everyone sang.
"Woohoo! I love Blues Clues!" I said.
"Me too!" agreed Mike and Ingrid.
"We all love Blues Clues!" said Billie.
"No one can hate Blues Clues, no matter how old they are!" said Tre, nodding.
"It's over there Steve! THAT ONE! NO NOT THE BLUE THING. THE PINK ONE!" yelled Sarah.
"YAY!" said everyone when Steve found the clue.
***
"Yes, I'll have the... vegetarian spaghetti bolognaise please," said Billie.
"I'll have the... teriyaki chicken please," said Tre.
"Can I please have the vegetarian lasagne," I said.
"I'll get the... uh... macaroni cheese please," said Sarah, "Hey! That rhymed,"
"Can I please get the... uh... the lasagne," Mike said.
"And I'll have the pumpkin soup and garden salad please," said Ingrid.
"Yes, Sirs and Madame's coming right up," the waiter replied after jotting down our orders.
"This is a really fancy restaurant," said Tre.
"Yeah, it's expensive too; the bill is going to be huge!" I said.
"You don't need to worry about that, us guys will pay," said Billie.
"Oh, are you sure?" said Ingrid.
"Yup, this is your special day!" said Mike.
"Thank you guys," said all 3 girls.
"No problem," said the guys.
"Your food is served," said the waiter, handing us our meals.
"Mm, this looks good!" I said.
"Waiter, can we please have 3 bottles of Champaign?" said Billie.
"Which kind?" asked the waiter.
"Umm" said Billie, looking through the menu, "How about this one?" he pointed.
"Ah, fine choice sir, it will be out soon," replied the waiter. "Anything else?"
"No thanks, we're good," said Billie.
"Right, I shall bring you your Champaign," said the waiter.
A few minutes later the waiter came with the Champaign.
"Here you are," he said.
"Thank you," said Billie.
"You're welcome sir," said the waiter.
After dinner we ordered desert, I had the chocolate mousse, Sarah had the cake, Tre had 3 cupcakes and a doughnut, Ingrid had chocolate and vanilla twist ice cream, Billie had a banana split, and Mike had fruit salad and chocolate dip.
"Ash, I love you so much, and I want to spend the rest of my life with you, you are the coolest girl I have ever met, not to mention the hottest, Haha, so anyway, Ashleigh Mackenzie, will you marry me?" Billie said.
"Like, oh my god, it's the slutty lesbian whore bags!" I retorted, making the whole table laugh.
"Like, what the fuck did you just call us punk?" said one of the other girls.
"Like, are you deaf or something?" I said, "I called you the Slutty Lesbian Whore Bags. Need me to spell that out for you?"
"Like, oh my god, you did NOT just say that," said Brittany.
"YES I DID. And stop fucking saying LIKE," I gave the 'Slut Gang' the evils.
"Like, make me," Brittany said, gaining cheers from her group.
"Trust me; you don't want her to make you do anything she made me cry! She can beat me up and I'm twice her size," said Tre, frowning slightly at the flashback.
"It's true. She's one tough bitch," said Billie.
I just nodded.
"Prove it," was Brittany's response.
"Nah, you're not worth the time or energy. I have better things to do than beat up little whores like you, thanks for the offer though!" I said, before motioning to my friends to follow me. The girls just stared after us.
"Let's go hang out by the tree!" suggested Mike.
"AND GET HIGH!" screamed Tre.
"Yay!" I said, laughing.
Billie got out 3 joints, and shared them out between the group. It was one joint between two. So obviously, Billie and Ash shared one, Mike and Ingrid shared one, and Sarah and Tre shared one.
After a while they were all high and each respective pair had gone through 3 joints each. By this time, it was 4pm.
***
"ARGHHH A BEE! HELP!" screamed Tre, making the rest of the group scream and run. "Just kidding," said Tre giggling.
"Fuck you Tre," said Billie.
"No thanks you're not my type... " said Tre.
"Oh, come on baby, you know you want me," said Billie winking.
By now, the girls and Mike were in fits of laughter.
"Oh, yeah, you're right I do, come here sexy," Tre replied winking at Billie.
"Fuck me bitch!" said Billie laughing.
"Anytime babe," said Tre.
"Oh, my, god, guys, stop," said Ash in between laughs.
"Are you getting jealous Ash? There's enough of me to go around," said Tre, winking.
"Haha, no thanks, I'm fine... " said Ash, who started laughing again at the look on Tre's face.
***
"Fuck, I feel like my head got run over by a steamroller," I said, holding my head in my hands, willing the pain to stop.
"Ugh, me to," came a muffled reply.
"What the hell? Where are you Bill?" I asked.
"In the closet," replied Billie.
"What the hell are you doing in there?" I asked, surprised.
"I have no fucking idea, ask Tre," muttered Billie.
"Typical Tre," I said, rolling my eyes.
"Stop talking about me and my sexy ass," said Tre walking into the room.
"Why did you lock Billie in the closet?" I asked, ignoring Tre's comment, and still trying to open the closet door.
"Uh... He was being annoying," replied Tre, shrugging.
"You're always being annoying Tre, and we never lock you in the fucking closet," I said.
"And?" said Tre.
"Tre, just get me the fucking key," I said, getting pissed off.
"It's right there," said Tre pointing to the table.
"Thank you," I said.
"FINALLY! I'm free!" yelled Billie. "Thanks Ashweenie!"
"You're welcome babe, and don't fucking call me Ashweenie," I said.
"Ash is a Weenie! Weenie and Weiner! Weeeee!" said Tre, laughing.
"Fuck up Tre," I said, getting a jar of peanut butter from the cupboard next to me, and throwing some at Tre.
"Oh my god! Peanut butter! FOOD FIGHT!" screamed Tre, just as Ingrid, Sarah and Mike walked in.
***
After about an hour of throwing food everywhere, the house was a mess, and there was no food in the fridge, it was all over the teens.
***
After they had cleaned up and had a shower, it was about 4pm, so they decided to go shopping for more food, before heading to Gilman for Green Day's gig.
***
6pm Backstage in the Gilman, 30minutes before Green Day's gig...
"You guys are going to be great," said Laurence, "I also have something to tell you, but I imagine you would want to celebrate, so I'll tell you after your show, alright?"
"Sure, Laur," I said, looking up from tuning my guitar.
Mike nodded, concentrating on tuning his bass perfectly, while Tre was too busy drumming on every reachable surface in the room to notice what was going on around him.
"And, what I have to tell you, includes you girls too, okay?" said Laur, now looking at Ash, Ingrid and Sarah.
"Okay," said the three girls.
"Cool, anyway, I better let you guys get ready, you're on in about 15 minutes, good luck!" said Laur, waving, before getting up and leaving the room.
"What songs are you gonna play?" Ash asked.
"Um, 409 in your coffee maker, at the library, the judges daughter, 2000 light years away, knowledge and my generation," I replied.
"Cool, good set, I better go into the crowd, see you guys after! Have fun!" said Ash. She jumped up kissed me, and ran outside.
Ingrid kissed Mike and followed Ash, while Sarah kissed Tre and followed Ash and Ingrid.
***
"Green Day, Green Day!" everyone was screaming. We were right at the front of the crowd, jumping up and down waiting for green day to come on.
"HEY, WHAT'S UP FREAKS?" screamed Billie, getting lots of screamed replies in return.
"RIGHT! MOST OF YOU ALREADY KNOW US, BUT IF YOU DON'T, WE'RE GREEN DAY!" Billie screamed into his mic.
"THIS FIRST SONG IS CALLED 409 IN YOUR COFFEE MAKER!" he screamed.
"YAY! GO GREEN DAY!" I screamed.
A few people who knew the words were singing along.
After the gig, Ingrid, Sarah and Ash went backstage to meet the guys.
"Hey guys, that was fucking brilliant," said Ingrid, grinning.
"It was AWESOME," screamed Sarah.
"It was Green Day-tastic!" said Ash, laughing.
"Haha, okay, guys, I am giving both bands a permanent spot here at Gilman," said Laurence.
"Ooh, thank you so much!" they all said in unison.
"No problems," said Laurence.
Just under 2 years later...
Everyone is now 17, both bands had been on tour, and are just wrapping up the tours now, Billie and Ash are still together, Ingrid and Mike are still together and so are Sarah and Tre. Ash's mother is in hospital with lung cancer, and her sister is in New York with her fiancé. Lookout! Records (Laurence's record label) has given Triple Threat and Green Day record deals. Both bands have released their first album, Green Day - 1,039 Smoothed Out Slappy Hours, and, Triple Threat - Ghosts. Today is February 13th 1989, 1 day before Valentines Day and 4 days before Billie's 18th birthday.
I was sitting in my room with Ingrid and Sarah, planning a surprise for Billie's birthday.
"What should we do guys?" I asked.
"Play a concert for him?" suggested Ingrid.
"Nah, he can see us play any day," I replied, "Good idea though,"
"Give him a surprise party with all his friends?" suggested Sarah.
"Yeah, and we could stick up green and black streamers, and balloons. And make a cake!!!" I said.
"Let's do that!" said Ingrid.
"SHOPPING TIME!" screamed Sarah.
Meanwhile...
"Guys, it's Valentines Day tomorrow, I'm going to do something really special for Ash, any ideas?" I said.
"How about hand cuff her to the bed and spray whipped cream all over her and eat it off her and then she sprays whipped cream all over you and eats it off?" suggested Tre.
"How about not?" said Billie laughing.
"Fine, I tried," said Tre.
"You're one horny fucker Tre," said Mike.
At the mall...
"Let's get these balloons, these streamers... " "No wait these streamers," I said.
"Get the smiley face balloons!" screamed Sarah.
"No, they only come in yellow!" said Ingrid.
"Aww, I want smiley face," pouted Sarah.
"Okay, get a bag Sarah, and then let's go get the cake stuff," I said laughing.
"YAY!" yelled Sarah. She grabbed the bag and threw it in the trolley and ran off to find the cake stuff.
"FOUND IT!" we heard, a few minutes later.
"Lets get the green food dye, the chocolate chips, the flour, eggs, sugar, and what ever else we need," I said, "We'll have to make it at my house, otherwise Billie will find out,"
"True," said Ingrid.
Sarah just nodded, and then she started tapping out a tune on the trolley bar.
"That's a good beat Sarah," I said.
"I know," she replied.
"Smart ass, okay, have we got everything we need?" I said.
"Yep," replied Ingrid.
"Let's go to the check out!" I said.
***
"Hey Billie!" I said, giving him a quick kiss. "Hey Mike, hey Tre,"
"Hey baby!" said Billie.
"Hey Ash," said Mike and Tre.
"Where's the others?" Billie asked.
"In the car," I replied.
"Not anymore!" said Sarah, coming in and kissing Tre. "Hey babe, miss me?"
"Hell yes," said Tre.
"Hey Mikey!" said Ingrid giving him a kiss and hug.
"Hey Hun, how was shopping?" he replied.
"How do you know we went shopping?" inquired Ingrid.
"The bags, dumbass," said Mike laughing.
"What ba — oh those bags, hehe, my bad," said Ingrid.
Mike took me aside as the others went into the living room to watch TV.
"Have you made any plans for BJ's birthday?" he asked.
"Yeah, kinda, it's going to be a surprise party, we have a green cake. And green streamers and balloons, why?" I replied.
"Just wondering," said Mike.
"Okay, don't tell BJ okay?" I said.
"I won't, I promise," he smiled.
"Thanks Mikey," I grinned, and gave him a hug, then walked to the sofa.
"No problem Hun." he said, following me.
I sat down next to Billie and he put his arm around my waist.
"Hey," he said.
"Hey," I replied grinning.
"PURPLE MONKEY DISHWASHER!" screamed Tre.
"What?" I said.
"That's what I was trying to think of earlier Billie, Purple Monkey Dishwasher!" said Tre.
"Ooh, right, yeah," said Billie nodding.
"Babe, what's a purple monkey dishwasher?" Sarah asked.
"It's a monkey that's purple and washes dishes... I think," said Tre frowning.
"Oh, okay, that explains it... I guess," she said.
The Next Morning...
"PANCAKES!" screamed someone downstairs.
"Fuck," I said, waking up. "Ooh, pancakes! OOOH COFFEE!"
I made my way slowly downstairs into the kitchen.
"COFFEE. NOW BITCH!" I yelled at Ingrid.
"Yes Ma'am," she said, saluting me.
"And while you're there, pancakes too please," I added.
"Yeah, yeah, okay," she said.
"Mikey, WAKE UP!" I said poking him in the ribs.
"Ouch, fuck off, I need coffee," he said.
"Don't we all," said Billie coming in.
"Hey babe!" I said, jumping up and giving him a hug and kiss.
"Hey, happy Valentines Day baby," he said, kissing and hugging me back.
"Thankies, happy V' day to you too," I said grinning.
"Coffee is served," said Ingrid.
"COFFEE!" screamed Tre, running into the kitchen and grabbing his pink and green spotted mug.
"Thanks Ingrid!" I said, taking my mug and taking 3 gulps of coffee.
"Come on coffee... WORK GOD DAMN YOU!" Mike said, talking to the coffee in his mug.
"Where's mine?" said Billie.
"You can share mine," I said smiling.
"YAY! Is it your special coffee with the chocolate?" asked Billie.
"Sure is!" I replied.
"YAY!" he yelled.
"Calm down!" I said laughing.
"Sorry mummy," he said pouting.
"Haha, you're strange... " I said.
"Mm, maybe, but you still love me... and I'm cute so yeah," said Billie grinning.
"Something like that!" I giggled.
I sat down on the sofa and Billie sat on my lap.
"Uh, Billie, you're squashing me... " I said.
"Pssh, you calling me fat now?" he said pouting.
"Nope, you've just got a fat ass," I grinned evilly.
"Eh, but you love it," he said, winking.
"No I don't," I said, raising one eyebrow.
"*Gasp* liar,"
"I would never do such a preposterous thing!"
"What's preposterous?" said Tre walking into the room and sitting on the chair next to the sofa.
"I don't know, it's a big word, I just wanted to sound smart, and I've heard Mike say it," I said shrugging.
"It means absurd, crazy, foolish, ridiculous, etc." said Mike, walking in.
"Look! It's the walking dictionary!" said Sarah, pointing to Mike.
"Look! It's the walking dumbasses!" said Mike, pointing at Sarah and Tre.
"HEY! No fair," said Tre.
"Bastard," muttered Sarah.
"Heard that... " said Mike.
"Heard what?" said Sarah, acting innocent.
"Heard you say bastard," replied Mike.
"NEVER! I said custard, to Tre," said Sarah.
"What ever you say... " said Mike.
"Mike, Tre, no band practise today, 'tis cancelled. We're going to go out instead," said Billie.
"Where to?" I asked.
"To a movie then a restaurant," said Billie.
"Cool!" said Tre.
"OW FUCK!" came from the kitchen.
"Ingrid? You okay Hun?" said Mike.
"I cut my finger," replied Ingrid.
"Hang on!" he called, and then got up and headed to the kitchen.
"Sarah, come with me for a sec, I wanna show you something," I said, motioning for her to follow me.
"What?" she asked when we got to my room.
"What am I gonna give Billie for Valentines Day? I forgot to get him something; I was so preoccupied with his birthday... " I said.
"Just give him a rose or something," Sarah suggested.
"Okay, thanks," I said, smiling.
"You're welcome," she said.
We walked back out to the living room.
"What's up girls?" Tre asked as we walked in.
"Nothing, she just wanted to show me a song she wrote," said Sarah.
"Cool, can I see it?" asked Billie.
"Uh, It's not done yet, I just needed to show her what I had and get her opinion on the start," I said.
"Oh okay," Billie replied.
"MONKEYS!!!!" screamed Tre, who had turned the TV on to the discovery channel.
"OOH! MONKEYS FUCKING!" screamed Sarah.
"ANAL!" screamed Tre laughing.
"BUTTFUCKERS!" screamed Billie joining in.
By now, Mike, Ingrid and I were on the floor in fits of laughter, laughing at Billie, Sarah and Tre, and not to mention the butt fucking monkeys.
"Aww, it's the ad's I WANT MORE BUTT FUCKING MONKEYS!" yelled Tre.
I picked up the remote and went to the Adult Cartoon Channel.
"OOH, BUTT FUCKING HUMAN CARTOON PEOPLE!" screamed Tre.
"OOOH, IT'S CARTOON PORNO!" yelled Sarah.
I changed the channel to Disney.
"DISNEY!" yelled Tre.
"BLUES CLUES!" yelled Billie.
"We are looking for blue's clues, we are looking for blues clues, we are looking for blues clues, wonder where they are!" everyone sang.
"Woohoo! I love Blues Clues!" I said.
"Me too!" agreed Mike and Ingrid.
"We all love Blues Clues!" said Billie.
"No one can hate Blues Clues, no matter how old they are!" said Tre, nodding.
"It's over there Steve! THAT ONE! NO NOT THE BLUE THING. THE PINK ONE!" yelled Sarah.
"YAY!" said everyone when Steve found the clue.
***
"Yes, I'll have the... vegetarian spaghetti bolognaise please," said Billie.
"I'll have the... teriyaki chicken please," said Tre.
"Can I please have the vegetarian lasagne," I said.
"I'll get the... uh... macaroni cheese please," said Sarah, "Hey! That rhymed,"
"Can I please get the... uh... the lasagne," Mike said.
"And I'll have the pumpkin soup and garden salad please," said Ingrid.
"Yes, Sirs and Madame's coming right up," the waiter replied after jotting down our orders.
"This is a really fancy restaurant," said Tre.
"Yeah, it's expensive too; the bill is going to be huge!" I said.
"You don't need to worry about that, us guys will pay," said Billie.
"Oh, are you sure?" said Ingrid.
"Yup, this is your special day!" said Mike.
"Thank you guys," said all 3 girls.
"No problem," said the guys.
"Your food is served," said the waiter, handing us our meals.
"Mm, this looks good!" I said.
"Waiter, can we please have 3 bottles of Champaign?" said Billie.
"Which kind?" asked the waiter.
"Umm" said Billie, looking through the menu, "How about this one?" he pointed.
"Ah, fine choice sir, it will be out soon," replied the waiter. "Anything else?"
"No thanks, we're good," said Billie.
"Right, I shall bring you your Champaign," said the waiter.
A few minutes later the waiter came with the Champaign.
"Here you are," he said.
"Thank you," said Billie.
"You're welcome sir," said the waiter.
After dinner we ordered desert, I had the chocolate mousse, Sarah had the cake, Tre had 3 cupcakes and a doughnut, Ingrid had chocolate and vanilla twist ice cream, Billie had a banana split, and Mike had fruit salad and chocolate dip.
"Ash, I love you so much, and I want to spend the rest of my life with you, you are the coolest girl I have ever met, not to mention the hottest, Haha, so anyway, Ashleigh Mackenzie, will you marry me?" Billie said.
