'Cause I'm a Million Miles Away, chapter 8
<p>Darkness fell over Berkely. The fourth of July was almost over.<br />
Actually, it was just beginning.
<p>Mike paraded around Gilman Street's main room, where a boy of about 23 was hanging off the stage with the microphone, screaming swear words at the top of his lungs. Billie scratched his head at the bar, sipping coke since Gilman was all-ages. I tried to keep up with Mike, who was throwing his arms everywhere on the floor with Tre.<br />
"Fuck man, let's go on the roof."</p>
<p>The roof was the best place in TOWN to see the fireworks. Everybody went up there just before midnight to see them go off. Mike and I were the only ones up there.<br />
"I can hear Tre screaming from here." I said, laughing. Mike scooted over again, like many times before, and dropped his head to look at my face.<br />
"You okay?" He asked. I nodded, smiling half-heartedly. Know the feeling when you're excited, you feel like throwing up? That's how I felt. I felt like the world was going to crash down in front of me soon. Everything was just going to fucking collapse.<br />Mike raised his head to mine, and our lips met, but I didn't put any thought into it. He pulled his head away, frowning.<br />
"No, seriously. What's wrong?" <br />
"Nothing... Anxious, I guess." He nodded, looking at his feet.</p>
<p>We were all approaching 20 years old. I was born on the 13th of February... The day before Valentine's day. It was an interesting day, because there was presents one day, and candy the next. The guys always threw a 'Sam Party' consisting of them and I. Naturally, three people is hardly considered a party, but when you have three completely wasted kids there seems like there's 30 of them altogether.</p>
<p>I could hear more screaming in the lower room and louder music as Billie Joe took the stage, busting out a riff. <br />"I think we should go down there." I said.
<br />"Nah... I like it better up here, with you."<br />
Even if conversations were always like this, Mike's unsure voice always made me feel like jumping for joy. I threw my arms around him.<br />
"I see you feel better?" He said, kissing my neck politely.<br />
"Just a little."<br />
"A little?"<br />
I never took my arms from him. Everything fits so perfectly. If I were to pull the whole corny lovey-dovey shit, I'd say like we were matching puzzle pieces.<br />
Just a part of the big picture...</p>
<p>I heard some people coming up the pull-down attic steps to the roof, but they stopped at the top.<br />
"Bad time?" a familiar voice said. I recognized it as Tre's.<br />
"Nah," I said, letting go of Mike, whom I noticed after staring at him for a second had black marks under his eyes. He must be restless. He looked at me with despair. </p>
<p>The rest of the afternoon was spent playing drinking games on the roof of Gilman Street. Mike and I stayed off to the side, however, while the festivities went on.<br />
"I'm not drinking." Mike declared, standing up and heading downstairs into the empty performance room. I followed, into the massive heaps of confetti and party hats scattered over the floor. <br />
"What's wrong?" I shouted, catching up with the blonde, who looked anguished.<br />
"Anxious," Mike said, rubbing his glazed eyes.<br />
"That's not it. Don't kid with me, alright?" I said, hugging him again. This time, I gripped onto him like the ground was splitting in half between us. </p>
<p>We were standing there so long I heard the ooh-ing and ah-ing of fireworks going off upstairs. <br />
"Fuck the fireworks. I'd rather watch you."<br />
"Touche," I said. He dragged me over to a couch by the stage, where he approached me like he did on the roof not 2 hours ago.</p>
<p>We were all over eachother for the next 10 minutes. Once again. We were rudely interrupted when Tre fell down the stairs.<br />
"So.. Fuckin... Drunk-- Hey, what the fuck?" he said, obviously completely wasted as he stumbled over and pushed me off Mike.<br /> "Oh. Okay, nevermind, continue," he said, putting his arms to his side and standing in the same spot, staring at us with great difficulty staying balanced.<br />
"Erm... Go away?" Mike said, licking his lips, gazing at me intently.<br />
"Ooookay, use protection." Tre said, throwing a small blue square at Mike, giggling and stumbling again. Mike nearly choked on his spit. (It may have been mine, if I were to be cheesy.)</p>
<p>I picked up the condom and frowned. <br />"He carries these around with him?" I laughed. Mike's face was turning green.<br />
"What? Do I stink?" I said, giggling as I lifted my arms up to smell.<br />
"Noo, no!" he quickly responded. I kissed him once more, waving the square in his face, grinning.<br />
"What're you implying?" he grinned.</p>
July 5, 1990
<p>I knew damn well we weren't drunk. Not that it mattered anyway. I woke up in my bed the next morning, Mike right next to me. I gazed at the back of his head, yawning.<br />
Then it all hit me like a sack of bricks.<br />
"FUCK!" I screamed, scaring Mike so badly he fell off the bed, covers and all. Nobody was in the room but us - Mike and Billie must have passed out at Gilman. But that wasn't what was on my mind.<br />
"Dude, we're fucked," I said, gnawing on my fingernail as I picked up an empty wrapper on the floor. Mike rubbed his forehead, still shaking from the sudden awakening. I tossed the wrapper, burying it in tissues to hide the evidence from the drummer and guitarists who were soon the return.</p>
<p>I was so sore in my lower body, that I was ready to double over on the floor. Mike wrapped his arms around my neck. <br />
"Fuck man... Least we took Tre's advice, right...?" he said, trying to pull something together. I was a complete mess. My hair was tangled and frizzy and I smelled like sweat.<br />
"I guess... Pray it's okay though." Mike kissed my head. I declared I was going to shower for a while. Showering is the best time to relocate your thoughts. I started to remember what happened, and from the pain in my stomach I knew that it hurt like HELL. I sat on the floor of the shower and let the water pour over me as I held my stomach in complete agony. I was a virgin, of course, but not anymore...<br />
I knew for sure Mike was still laying on his bed, beating himself up for what happened. I was at a complete loss of words for what I was going to say to him when I got out of the shower. So instead, I washed my hair and dried off before returning to his side. <br />
"Fuck we're screwed if Billie finds out."<br />
"Who gives a flying fuck about Billie. Chill out, kay?" I said, hugging him again.
"I know.. But I can't imagine little me's and you's running around my best friend's house," he remarked, grinning.<br />
"It'd be wicked. I'd have your kids," I said. <br />
"But what would Mr. Housekeeper think?"<br />
"Right when he figured it out he'd probably give us our own room," I muttered, holding laughter.<br />
"Sounds like a good deal to me. Whining, bitching sacks of meat for a solitary room?"<br />I heard the front door click shut downstairs. Mike eyed me quickly.
"Don't say anything?"<br />
"No."<br />We shuffled around the room. I picked up a book and pretended to read it while Mike ran to the bathroom and turned on the shower.
<br />
We're very good at covering things up, you see.</p>
Actually, it was just beginning.
<p>Mike paraded around Gilman Street's main room, where a boy of about 23 was hanging off the stage with the microphone, screaming swear words at the top of his lungs. Billie scratched his head at the bar, sipping coke since Gilman was all-ages. I tried to keep up with Mike, who was throwing his arms everywhere on the floor with Tre.<br />
"Fuck man, let's go on the roof."</p>
<p>The roof was the best place in TOWN to see the fireworks. Everybody went up there just before midnight to see them go off. Mike and I were the only ones up there.<br />
"I can hear Tre screaming from here." I said, laughing. Mike scooted over again, like many times before, and dropped his head to look at my face.<br />
"You okay?" He asked. I nodded, smiling half-heartedly. Know the feeling when you're excited, you feel like throwing up? That's how I felt. I felt like the world was going to crash down in front of me soon. Everything was just going to fucking collapse.<br />Mike raised his head to mine, and our lips met, but I didn't put any thought into it. He pulled his head away, frowning.<br />
"No, seriously. What's wrong?" <br />
"Nothing... Anxious, I guess." He nodded, looking at his feet.</p>
<p>We were all approaching 20 years old. I was born on the 13th of February... The day before Valentine's day. It was an interesting day, because there was presents one day, and candy the next. The guys always threw a 'Sam Party' consisting of them and I. Naturally, three people is hardly considered a party, but when you have three completely wasted kids there seems like there's 30 of them altogether.</p>
<p>I could hear more screaming in the lower room and louder music as Billie Joe took the stage, busting out a riff. <br />"I think we should go down there." I said.
<br />"Nah... I like it better up here, with you."<br />
Even if conversations were always like this, Mike's unsure voice always made me feel like jumping for joy. I threw my arms around him.<br />
"I see you feel better?" He said, kissing my neck politely.<br />
"Just a little."<br />
"A little?"<br />
I never took my arms from him. Everything fits so perfectly. If I were to pull the whole corny lovey-dovey shit, I'd say like we were matching puzzle pieces.<br />
Just a part of the big picture...</p>
<p>I heard some people coming up the pull-down attic steps to the roof, but they stopped at the top.<br />
"Bad time?" a familiar voice said. I recognized it as Tre's.<br />
"Nah," I said, letting go of Mike, whom I noticed after staring at him for a second had black marks under his eyes. He must be restless. He looked at me with despair. </p>
<p>The rest of the afternoon was spent playing drinking games on the roof of Gilman Street. Mike and I stayed off to the side, however, while the festivities went on.<br />
"I'm not drinking." Mike declared, standing up and heading downstairs into the empty performance room. I followed, into the massive heaps of confetti and party hats scattered over the floor. <br />
"What's wrong?" I shouted, catching up with the blonde, who looked anguished.<br />
"Anxious," Mike said, rubbing his glazed eyes.<br />
"That's not it. Don't kid with me, alright?" I said, hugging him again. This time, I gripped onto him like the ground was splitting in half between us. </p>
<p>We were standing there so long I heard the ooh-ing and ah-ing of fireworks going off upstairs. <br />
"Fuck the fireworks. I'd rather watch you."<br />
"Touche," I said. He dragged me over to a couch by the stage, where he approached me like he did on the roof not 2 hours ago.</p>
<p>We were all over eachother for the next 10 minutes. Once again. We were rudely interrupted when Tre fell down the stairs.<br />
"So.. Fuckin... Drunk-- Hey, what the fuck?" he said, obviously completely wasted as he stumbled over and pushed me off Mike.<br /> "Oh. Okay, nevermind, continue," he said, putting his arms to his side and standing in the same spot, staring at us with great difficulty staying balanced.<br />
"Erm... Go away?" Mike said, licking his lips, gazing at me intently.<br />
"Ooookay, use protection." Tre said, throwing a small blue square at Mike, giggling and stumbling again. Mike nearly choked on his spit. (It may have been mine, if I were to be cheesy.)</p>
<p>I picked up the condom and frowned. <br />"He carries these around with him?" I laughed. Mike's face was turning green.<br />
"What? Do I stink?" I said, giggling as I lifted my arms up to smell.<br />
"Noo, no!" he quickly responded. I kissed him once more, waving the square in his face, grinning.<br />
"What're you implying?" he grinned.</p>
July 5, 1990
<p>I knew damn well we weren't drunk. Not that it mattered anyway. I woke up in my bed the next morning, Mike right next to me. I gazed at the back of his head, yawning.<br />
Then it all hit me like a sack of bricks.<br />
"FUCK!" I screamed, scaring Mike so badly he fell off the bed, covers and all. Nobody was in the room but us - Mike and Billie must have passed out at Gilman. But that wasn't what was on my mind.<br />
"Dude, we're fucked," I said, gnawing on my fingernail as I picked up an empty wrapper on the floor. Mike rubbed his forehead, still shaking from the sudden awakening. I tossed the wrapper, burying it in tissues to hide the evidence from the drummer and guitarists who were soon the return.</p>
<p>I was so sore in my lower body, that I was ready to double over on the floor. Mike wrapped his arms around my neck. <br />
"Fuck man... Least we took Tre's advice, right...?" he said, trying to pull something together. I was a complete mess. My hair was tangled and frizzy and I smelled like sweat.<br />
"I guess... Pray it's okay though." Mike kissed my head. I declared I was going to shower for a while. Showering is the best time to relocate your thoughts. I started to remember what happened, and from the pain in my stomach I knew that it hurt like HELL. I sat on the floor of the shower and let the water pour over me as I held my stomach in complete agony. I was a virgin, of course, but not anymore...<br />
I knew for sure Mike was still laying on his bed, beating himself up for what happened. I was at a complete loss of words for what I was going to say to him when I got out of the shower. So instead, I washed my hair and dried off before returning to his side. <br />
"Fuck we're screwed if Billie finds out."<br />
"Who gives a flying fuck about Billie. Chill out, kay?" I said, hugging him again.
"I know.. But I can't imagine little me's and you's running around my best friend's house," he remarked, grinning.<br />
"It'd be wicked. I'd have your kids," I said. <br />
"But what would Mr. Housekeeper think?"<br />
"Right when he figured it out he'd probably give us our own room," I muttered, holding laughter.<br />
"Sounds like a good deal to me. Whining, bitching sacks of meat for a solitary room?"<br />I heard the front door click shut downstairs. Mike eyed me quickly.
"Don't say anything?"<br />
"No."<br />We shuffled around the room. I picked up a book and pretended to read it while Mike ran to the bathroom and turned on the shower.
<br />
We're very good at covering things up, you see.</p>
