Best Thing In Town, chapter 3
We parked in front of the Mona Lisa and hopped eagerly out of the van, swinging open the door wildly in a rush to get in. We would be eating lunch with Mike Dirnt! I mean, what were the chances?!
"We're with 'Armstrong'," Jack said to the waitress, who smiled and nodded, leading us into the restaurant. We were brought to the very back of the building where, to my astonishment, sat not only Mike, but Billie, Tré, and Jason too! My jaw dropped wide open, and I could guess that Caitlyn felt the same way. She had a thing for Billie, if you know what I mean.
"You made it!" Mike announced cheerily, gesturing for us to sit down across from them. "Guys meet Haphazard. This is Caitlyn, Jack, and Erin, like I told you."
"We know who they are, dumbass. We were standing beside you when they were playing! And I suppose you know who we are, then?" Billie said cheekily, a proud smile sitting on his face. Caitlyn nodded enthusiastically, staring at Billie without blinking.
'So this is what Tré looks like in person... ' I thought as we sat down opposite to them. Tré was wearing a blue-and-white Hawaiian shirt that was left unbuttoned, exposing his black "Ramones" t-shirt underneath. He wore khaki board shorts that went just below his knees, and had the coolest pair of green high top converse that matched his sunglasses that he wore on top of his head. I know this must sound really teenie-ish, but he was fucking hot.
"What, is there something on my face? Oh wait, I know, you just can't believe how sexy I am in real life. Totally, I feel the same way sometimes," Tré said, smirking as I started blushing madly.
"So what did you guys want?" Billie asked us as the waitress came by our table.
"Umm, I'll have the calamari please, and an iced tea, with extra lemons," I told the waitress. Caitlyn and Jack said their orders, and then looked at me with a smirk.
"What?" I asked, suddenly nervous as Billie, Mike, Tré and Jason all turned to look at me. Caitlyn grabbed my napkin and tucked it into my shirt for me, forming a bib.
"You know your as messy as shit when it comes to eating," Caitlyn said, taking a plastic fork and knife out of her backpack which was on the ground beside her, placing them in my hands, and pushing in my chair. I could see Tré found this to be quite funny, but he stopped grinning as Billie made him a bib too.
"Well, you know, Tré likes to feel like he fits in," Billie mock whispered to Caitlyn and Jack, sending everyone but Tré and I into laughter. We looked at eachother empathetically, and glared at everyone together. That's right; the first thing I ever did with Tré was glare. Fun, hey? Eventually the food arrived, along with my iced tea with extra lemons.
"So, tell me again why you ordered all those lemons?" Billie asked me suspiciously as I lined up the lemons on a napkin in front of my plate.
"So I could challenge Tré to a lemon war, of course!" I said with a risky tone, looking at Tré with a devilish smirk. "What do you say, Mr. Cool?"
"You're on, lemon breath!" Tré said as he grabbed a lemon from the napkin. I grinned, grabbing a lemon as well and yelling, "Someone say go!"
"One, two, three go!" Mike and Jack exclaimed in unision. Both Tré and I stuffed our lemons into our mouths, then sucked all the juice out through our teeth as fast as we could. We finished at the same time and both grabbed for another one, throwing our used lemons in random directions across the room. After my fourth lemon I could see I was winning; Tré was cringing at the taste of the lemon juice, his eyes scrunched up and pace getting thrown off. I guess it's not too late to say that I was a professional lemon war-er.
Everyone was chanting "Go! Go! Go!" loudly as we raced, throwing lemon after lemon around the room. People were giving us disgusted looks, especially one fat lady who got a lemon in her drink. She got up from her table with her husband, who was at least a foot thinner than her, and slapped me in the head before leaving in a huff.
"Hey, hey, hey, lady! No touching the contestants! Fucker... " Billie growled at the lady, trailing off so she couldn't hear his last word. Jason snorted, grabbing a nearby lemon peel and hurling it at her as she left, landing it in her wig.
"My word! I'm complaining to the manager, you little hooligans! Who do you think you are?!" the fat lady spat, stomping her foot threateningly as she pulled her little husband around to face us.
"We're Green Day, and we came here to have a fun time with an amazing band called Haphazard, and neither we nor them need to take your shit. So either deal with it and leave, or I'll shove this lemon up your fat ass!!" Mike shouted, waving a used lemon around in the air as she gave him a horrified stare, turning and hurriedly walking toward the front desk. Everyone was laughing, flipping off the odd pair as they left.
"Wait, do you think we'll get kicked out?" Jason asked worriedly. Billie patted him on the back reassuringly, and said "Nah, don't worry about it. Anyway, if we do get kicked out, we could always go to the Starbucks across the street. I'm sure Mike would like that now, hey Coffee-freak?" Mike glared at him, but couldn't help laugh when Billie imitated Mike when he was hyper on coffee.
Obviously everyone had forgotten about our lemon war, because I was sitting there with a victorious grin on my face and some calamari in my hand, and Tré was on the ground spluttering lemon juice all over himself.
"Whoa there, Trékins. Don't wanna hurt yourself now, do yah? Maybe sour just isn't your style," Billie teased, nudging Tré with a foot as Tré tried to get up. He fell back over, glaring at Billie and wiping at his tongue frantically. Billie high-fived Caitlyn, and the pair looked at Mike and Jack expectantly; the bassists reluctantly handed them each twenty dollars.
"Fuck, that tasted like shit! Wait a minute, were you betting on us? What the hell, dude, I'm not your racehorse! I don't have hooves if you haven't noticed... " Tré said malevolently, but smiled as Billie, Caitlyn, and Jason started laughing at him.
"Well you, Erin, are definitely the master at lemon wars," Jason said, smiling sweetly as I gave him a thankful look.
"Jesus shit, Erin, you've got buds of steel!... Yes, I said buds, not buns. Although then again, I wouldn't be wrong with saying your ass is—"
"Tré, don't think perverted now, okay dude? Save it for your room," Billie grinned, this time helping Tré up and handing him his root beer, which he immediately chugged down. I giggled, grinning as Tré drank everything he could see to get the sour taste from his mouth.
"Oh, now you're laughing too, huh? You may be good with lemons, but I bet you twenty, no, fifty bucks that you don't have any skills at shots!" Tré said challengingly, sending a low "oooooh" all around the table.
"I accept your challenge, lemon breath. You're on!" I said, grinning as he looked at me cheekily.
"I wouldn't if I were you, Erin. Tré is the master of shots! He can stay conscious after fifty glasses! And he tends to spike the drinks a lot... " Billie reasoned as I got up from the table.
"Hell no, she's coming with me! I can't walk away with the score board at 1-0, I'm gonna show her not to mess with Tré Cool when he's sober!" Tré announced, and without waiting for a reply he grabbed my arm and hurriedly dragged me out of the building.
"We're with 'Armstrong'," Jack said to the waitress, who smiled and nodded, leading us into the restaurant. We were brought to the very back of the building where, to my astonishment, sat not only Mike, but Billie, Tré, and Jason too! My jaw dropped wide open, and I could guess that Caitlyn felt the same way. She had a thing for Billie, if you know what I mean.
"You made it!" Mike announced cheerily, gesturing for us to sit down across from them. "Guys meet Haphazard. This is Caitlyn, Jack, and Erin, like I told you."
"We know who they are, dumbass. We were standing beside you when they were playing! And I suppose you know who we are, then?" Billie said cheekily, a proud smile sitting on his face. Caitlyn nodded enthusiastically, staring at Billie without blinking.
'So this is what Tré looks like in person... ' I thought as we sat down opposite to them. Tré was wearing a blue-and-white Hawaiian shirt that was left unbuttoned, exposing his black "Ramones" t-shirt underneath. He wore khaki board shorts that went just below his knees, and had the coolest pair of green high top converse that matched his sunglasses that he wore on top of his head. I know this must sound really teenie-ish, but he was fucking hot.
"What, is there something on my face? Oh wait, I know, you just can't believe how sexy I am in real life. Totally, I feel the same way sometimes," Tré said, smirking as I started blushing madly.
"So what did you guys want?" Billie asked us as the waitress came by our table.
"Umm, I'll have the calamari please, and an iced tea, with extra lemons," I told the waitress. Caitlyn and Jack said their orders, and then looked at me with a smirk.
"What?" I asked, suddenly nervous as Billie, Mike, Tré and Jason all turned to look at me. Caitlyn grabbed my napkin and tucked it into my shirt for me, forming a bib.
"You know your as messy as shit when it comes to eating," Caitlyn said, taking a plastic fork and knife out of her backpack which was on the ground beside her, placing them in my hands, and pushing in my chair. I could see Tré found this to be quite funny, but he stopped grinning as Billie made him a bib too.
"Well, you know, Tré likes to feel like he fits in," Billie mock whispered to Caitlyn and Jack, sending everyone but Tré and I into laughter. We looked at eachother empathetically, and glared at everyone together. That's right; the first thing I ever did with Tré was glare. Fun, hey? Eventually the food arrived, along with my iced tea with extra lemons.
"So, tell me again why you ordered all those lemons?" Billie asked me suspiciously as I lined up the lemons on a napkin in front of my plate.
"So I could challenge Tré to a lemon war, of course!" I said with a risky tone, looking at Tré with a devilish smirk. "What do you say, Mr. Cool?"
"You're on, lemon breath!" Tré said as he grabbed a lemon from the napkin. I grinned, grabbing a lemon as well and yelling, "Someone say go!"
"One, two, three go!" Mike and Jack exclaimed in unision. Both Tré and I stuffed our lemons into our mouths, then sucked all the juice out through our teeth as fast as we could. We finished at the same time and both grabbed for another one, throwing our used lemons in random directions across the room. After my fourth lemon I could see I was winning; Tré was cringing at the taste of the lemon juice, his eyes scrunched up and pace getting thrown off. I guess it's not too late to say that I was a professional lemon war-er.
Everyone was chanting "Go! Go! Go!" loudly as we raced, throwing lemon after lemon around the room. People were giving us disgusted looks, especially one fat lady who got a lemon in her drink. She got up from her table with her husband, who was at least a foot thinner than her, and slapped me in the head before leaving in a huff.
"Hey, hey, hey, lady! No touching the contestants! Fucker... " Billie growled at the lady, trailing off so she couldn't hear his last word. Jason snorted, grabbing a nearby lemon peel and hurling it at her as she left, landing it in her wig.
"My word! I'm complaining to the manager, you little hooligans! Who do you think you are?!" the fat lady spat, stomping her foot threateningly as she pulled her little husband around to face us.
"We're Green Day, and we came here to have a fun time with an amazing band called Haphazard, and neither we nor them need to take your shit. So either deal with it and leave, or I'll shove this lemon up your fat ass!!" Mike shouted, waving a used lemon around in the air as she gave him a horrified stare, turning and hurriedly walking toward the front desk. Everyone was laughing, flipping off the odd pair as they left.
"Wait, do you think we'll get kicked out?" Jason asked worriedly. Billie patted him on the back reassuringly, and said "Nah, don't worry about it. Anyway, if we do get kicked out, we could always go to the Starbucks across the street. I'm sure Mike would like that now, hey Coffee-freak?" Mike glared at him, but couldn't help laugh when Billie imitated Mike when he was hyper on coffee.
Obviously everyone had forgotten about our lemon war, because I was sitting there with a victorious grin on my face and some calamari in my hand, and Tré was on the ground spluttering lemon juice all over himself.
"Whoa there, Trékins. Don't wanna hurt yourself now, do yah? Maybe sour just isn't your style," Billie teased, nudging Tré with a foot as Tré tried to get up. He fell back over, glaring at Billie and wiping at his tongue frantically. Billie high-fived Caitlyn, and the pair looked at Mike and Jack expectantly; the bassists reluctantly handed them each twenty dollars.
"Fuck, that tasted like shit! Wait a minute, were you betting on us? What the hell, dude, I'm not your racehorse! I don't have hooves if you haven't noticed... " Tré said malevolently, but smiled as Billie, Caitlyn, and Jason started laughing at him.
"Well you, Erin, are definitely the master at lemon wars," Jason said, smiling sweetly as I gave him a thankful look.
"Jesus shit, Erin, you've got buds of steel!... Yes, I said buds, not buns. Although then again, I wouldn't be wrong with saying your ass is—"
"Tré, don't think perverted now, okay dude? Save it for your room," Billie grinned, this time helping Tré up and handing him his root beer, which he immediately chugged down. I giggled, grinning as Tré drank everything he could see to get the sour taste from his mouth.
"Oh, now you're laughing too, huh? You may be good with lemons, but I bet you twenty, no, fifty bucks that you don't have any skills at shots!" Tré said challengingly, sending a low "oooooh" all around the table.
"I accept your challenge, lemon breath. You're on!" I said, grinning as he looked at me cheekily.
"I wouldn't if I were you, Erin. Tré is the master of shots! He can stay conscious after fifty glasses! And he tends to spike the drinks a lot... " Billie reasoned as I got up from the table.
"Hell no, she's coming with me! I can't walk away with the score board at 1-0, I'm gonna show her not to mess with Tré Cool when he's sober!" Tré announced, and without waiting for a reply he grabbed my arm and hurriedly dragged me out of the building.
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