The Secret, chapter 8
It was the 25th of December. Adie was in her very last week and the baby could arrive anytime now. Billie and Adie had decided to not buy any Christmas gifts. They needed all money they could save for the baby. And none of them cared a lot of it. The baby was everything in their heads, no fucking gifts, or any Christmas at all.
Billie sat in the living room, but assembling a cradle while watching TV wasn't a good combination.
"Ouch, fuck!!"
He had just hit his own thumb with the hammer. A small wood chip had came loose and cut a wound across Billie's hand. Blood trickled down and dropped at the floor.
"Shit!"
"Baby, what's happening?" shouted Adie from the room beside.
"It's okay! Everything is under control!" Billie replied. "I just got a wound, no fear..."
"Is it bad?"
"No, I'm fine, just carry on, I'll get a plaster!"
"Okay."
Billie walked downstairs and got the plaster on. He was just about checking out through the window if the news paper had been delivered, but his eyes fell on something else on the table. A letter. It stole all his attention and something told him to check what's inside.
With trembling hands he picked up the letter and read it.
Sweetie!
I guess I can't be there tonight, I'm busy and I don't know what you-know-who would think. If he'd see us.
Merry christmas anyway
Love you
It felt like he was in a movie. Aha, Candid Camera! Candid Camera! There was no other reason, must be Candid Camera... Billie's legs turned to jelly. It wasn't for him. It was for Adie. Or was it from Adie?
"Adrienne! Come down here!" shouted Billie, trying to keep a steady voice. He surprised himself sounding so angry.
"What is it?"
"Just... come down here, now!"
Billie didn't know what he felt. Both angry, sad, disappointed, confused, buffled, stupid...
Adie came downstairs.
"Honey, what's the matter?"
Billie just pointed at the opened letter on the table. Adie stoned.
"Adie! I don't understand why you do this to me! I thought... I thou--"
"Stop!" yelled his girlfriend, reading the letter and shaking her head. "That's not mine, I have no... this isn't... I have no one else than you!"
"Yeah? Why is this letter here then? Tell me! Tell me now!!" Billie's adult attitude got invalid and he tottered down on the floor.
Adie breathed deeply.
"I don't know who has written it! But..."
"But?"
"But I saw it here before and I had no clue who it was from and I decided to get rid of it but I forgot it down here! I knew that this would happen..." her voice disappeared.
Hot tears flew down Billie's face. He was killed inside again.
"Billie, I--"
"No, Adie. I'm leaving."
This flight Billie wasn't walking. He was running as fast as his legs could carry him. Where he was going wasn't anything he thought about.
Everybody else were probably having fun, having a Christmas. But where was Billie? Running off from a fight with his own girlfriend. His pregnant girlfriend.
Shit.
He just remembered what he told her in their last argument. "This will never happen again... I promise." The words pounded through Billie's head time after time. He made a promise for her. A promise. And he hadn't kept his word. He betrayed her! Shit. Shit, shit, shit. "Never, never, never happen again... promise... promise."
Should he run home again? Or should he wait until he had calmed down? "Never... never..."
Billie turned around and ran homewards. But something unexpected happened...
BANG.
Billie sat in the living room, but assembling a cradle while watching TV wasn't a good combination.
"Ouch, fuck!!"
He had just hit his own thumb with the hammer. A small wood chip had came loose and cut a wound across Billie's hand. Blood trickled down and dropped at the floor.
"Shit!"
"Baby, what's happening?" shouted Adie from the room beside.
"It's okay! Everything is under control!" Billie replied. "I just got a wound, no fear..."
"Is it bad?"
"No, I'm fine, just carry on, I'll get a plaster!"
"Okay."
Billie walked downstairs and got the plaster on. He was just about checking out through the window if the news paper had been delivered, but his eyes fell on something else on the table. A letter. It stole all his attention and something told him to check what's inside.
With trembling hands he picked up the letter and read it.
Sweetie!
I guess I can't be there tonight, I'm busy and I don't know what you-know-who would think. If he'd see us.
Merry christmas anyway
Love you
It felt like he was in a movie. Aha, Candid Camera! Candid Camera! There was no other reason, must be Candid Camera... Billie's legs turned to jelly. It wasn't for him. It was for Adie. Or was it from Adie?
"Adrienne! Come down here!" shouted Billie, trying to keep a steady voice. He surprised himself sounding so angry.
"What is it?"
"Just... come down here, now!"
Billie didn't know what he felt. Both angry, sad, disappointed, confused, buffled, stupid...
Adie came downstairs.
"Honey, what's the matter?"
Billie just pointed at the opened letter on the table. Adie stoned.
"Adie! I don't understand why you do this to me! I thought... I thou--"
"Stop!" yelled his girlfriend, reading the letter and shaking her head. "That's not mine, I have no... this isn't... I have no one else than you!"
"Yeah? Why is this letter here then? Tell me! Tell me now!!" Billie's adult attitude got invalid and he tottered down on the floor.
Adie breathed deeply.
"I don't know who has written it! But..."
"But?"
"But I saw it here before and I had no clue who it was from and I decided to get rid of it but I forgot it down here! I knew that this would happen..." her voice disappeared.
Hot tears flew down Billie's face. He was killed inside again.
"Billie, I--"
"No, Adie. I'm leaving."
This flight Billie wasn't walking. He was running as fast as his legs could carry him. Where he was going wasn't anything he thought about.
Everybody else were probably having fun, having a Christmas. But where was Billie? Running off from a fight with his own girlfriend. His pregnant girlfriend.
Shit.
He just remembered what he told her in their last argument. "This will never happen again... I promise." The words pounded through Billie's head time after time. He made a promise for her. A promise. And he hadn't kept his word. He betrayed her! Shit. Shit, shit, shit. "Never, never, never happen again... promise... promise."
Should he run home again? Or should he wait until he had calmed down? "Never... never..."
Billie turned around and ran homewards. But something unexpected happened...
BANG.
