Boulevard Of Broken Lives, chapter 1
He was still looking at me, with a very stern expression. I had never seen him look at me or anyone like that. "Not a word to anyone." He breathed, tightening his belt. "Or else... " He added, as I took a huge sigh of relief. My wrists and ankles were still bound to the bed. I looked at him with fear like he was about to shoot me and I was pleading for my life... .He began untying my ankles from the bars at the end of the bed. "Billie, why did you do that?! How could you?! What would Adrienne say... and the kids!" I said through sniffles to him. He stopped untying my ankles and looked at me, his green eyes piercing in to mine. He came over to me and suddenly raised his hand. He brought it down so forcefully against my skin; I heard the reverberation of it. I shrieked in pain. "Don't you ever mention this to ANYONE! Because if I find out that you have, I will kill you! Do you understand me?!!" Billie yelled, grabbing hold of my hair. If I wasn't already in pain from him hitting me, I was certainly in pain from his strong grip on my hair. "DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME??!!" He bellowed when I didn't respond. "YES, YES!!!" I roared. He let go of my hair, and mumbled "good!" "Any way, it's not like anyone would believe you if you let anything slip. The fans would believe anything I told them. They all worship the ground I walk on. Stupid lifeless f***." I couldn't believe he threatened to kill me! I didn't even consider it to be something he would contemplate! And since when did Billie Joe Armstrong suddenly not give two f*** about his own fans?!
He continued untying my ankles, and when he was finished, he came over and started untying my wrists from the bars on the headboard. He looked at me as he was untying them, and he smiled. I didn't smile back, I was far from even wanting to look at him. My eyes quickly darted away, but he suddenly planted his lips on mine again. I jumped in fright, as it was so unexpected. He started kissing me fiercely, and his tongue was swirling around against mine at the rate my heart beat was going. He stopped suddenly, but kept looking at me while he finished untying my wrists. I slowly pulled them down towards me, and started comforting them, as they were extremely painful. I examined the red burns from the rope irritating them. "Now I want you to go downstairs, and sit in the lounge until they all come back. Shouldn't be long." Billie Joe commanded. I didn't even look at him as I quickly pulled my underwear back up and my jeans. As I was closing my belt, I remembered his comment about it earlier. I took it off my jeans, and threw it on the floor.
He turned around, as the heavy studs hit the ground. I looked at him with sudden pure hatred in my eyes. I also felt like a coward and was terrified of him right now, but I couldn't bear to wear that belt anymore. "Do you know why I bought this belt?? Do you even care?!! I f*** bought it cos you had one just like it! But now I don't f*** want it!!" I screamed at him. He lowered his eyebrows, and looked very taken aback. I turned away and walked out of the room. I was only out of the door when he came up behind me and grabbed my wrist. He turned me around to face him and slammed my head against the wall. "You better not pull any more of those unforeseen tantrums again, do you hear me?!! You better act as normal as you f*** well can. I will kill you quicker than you can imagine, if you breathe any of this to anyone!!" His eyes lit up with rage, and he raised his hand again. He brought it down as hard as the last time, and I felt it slice across my face. I burst in to tears again with the pain and terror. "Now go downstairs like I told you to!!" He said with a leer expression, and through gritted teeth. He released me from his grip, and turned away. He walked back in to his room, and slammed the door.
I was absolutely petrified, but obeyed his order. I ran down the stairs and in to the lounge. I curled up on the couch clutching my face from the pain of his hand. I couldn't believe this was happening. No, maybe it was okay. Maybe it was all a nightmare. Yes, that's it! It had to have been a nightmare... ... It felt very real for a nightmare. And with that thought, I plunged back in to my world of horror. Tré, Mike and Adrienne would be back soon, and I was just so scared. I didn't know what to do! I turned on the television, so that if they came home unexpectedly I could lie and say I was watching a sad film if I was still crying. What was going through Billie Joe's head when he put me through that whole ordeal?! I sobbed continuously, just thinking about it. I wanted to try to get my mind away from it. I turned on MTV, only to find "Green Day; Behind the scenes" broadcasting. I looked at Billie Joe sitting there in between Tré and Mike at the interview. Only, it wasn't the Billie Joe I thought I knew. On the screen, was the Billie Joe all the fans worldwide knew and loved. But the Billie Joe I knew, was very different. I didn't even know why he did it to me. He was fine earlier on that day. We had so much fun together in the park just chilling and pissing around. Only hours prior to the incident, had he been teaching me the guitar chords for Longview.
"And you know, I will always have a special place in my heart for the fans. Without them, we wouldn't be here today. They are the ones to thank for our success." I glared at the TV screen, while Billie Joe sat there sipping his beer, in his black leather jacket, expensive wrangler jeans, and his famous converse shoes. Everything he did infuriated me, just looking at him. His laugh reverberated through my head, and Mike and Tré were sitting there totally oblivious to this monster that crept inside Billie Joe. I was watching this false person lie not only to the cameras and to the fans, but to Tré and Mike... his best friends in the whole entire world. He was lying, and declaring that he had a special place in his heart for the fans! He didn't care about his fans, the only thing he was concerned about, was that the money kept rolling in! I couldn't stand his sanctimonious expressions any longer. I turned the TV off altogether. I didn't want to do anything right now, I just felt like as if I had been thrown in to a blender and now I was in a million pieces.
But before I could let the tears trickle down my face, I heard the front door opening. I quickly wiped my eyes in desperation of hiding any potential tears that could be seen. "Oh hi Izzy, you still up?!" Mike smiled warmly at me, as he put his coat down on the arm chair. He was wearing his usual suspected black shirt, with a pair of blue jeans. "Uh, er, yeah... I eh, couldn't sleep." I blurted out, trying not to make eye contact. I glanced over at the clock on the mantelpiece. Its crystal hands were showing that it was nearly 2 o clock. "Are you okay?" He continued, putting his arm on my shoulder. "You seem very tense." I felt so safe now that he was here, but I wanted to cry so badly. Adrienne and Tré stumbled in the door then, but Adrienne was more sober than Tré was. She threw her purse on the couch, as she needed two hands to help him in the door, he was so drunk. Mike wasn't drinking tonight, because he had planned to get up early the next morning to go down and see Estelle. He was also driving home from the pub, so he didn't want to have anything to drink. "Hey... .Is...bel, is that you?? God you loooook so sexy right now... .Yeah, I thhhink I'll jussstt go and see the toilet for a second... ..I need a piss haha!!" Tré was sporting one of his usual flamboyant shirts. It was a black pinstriped shirt with red diamonds abstracted all over it.
His cream coloured jeans were down to his ankles but this wasn't unusual. He must have been to the bathroom somewhere, and had forgotten to pull them up again. Tré always became giddy when he drank, and he was out of sight before anyone could tell him to actually use the toilet this time, and not the plant in the kitchen. I could still hear him stumbling down the hall. Suddenly, Billie Joe appeared in the room. "You guys are certainly home later than expected!" He smiled at Mike and Adrienne. He hadn't changed out of the clothes he had been wearing. He was still wearing his black shirt, red tie, and black jeans from the photo shoot earlier on. I looked away as he leant over to kiss Adrienne. "Did you guys have fun here?" She smiled, totally oblivious to the events that had happened only a while earlier. "Oh yeah, we had a great time, right Iz?" he grinned. I could tell he was looking at me, but I kept my eyes elsewhere. "Sure." I said briefly. "Good. Well I'm off to bed anyway, you coming Bill?" Adrienne said, letting her hair down. I was sure it was safe to turn around; I didn't want to draw any attention to myself. "Yeah, I'll be up in a minute." He said, ruffling his hair a bit. "I better be heading off to bed too, said I'd see Estelle for 10." Mike said, yawning. "Well, night guys, see you in the morning I guess." He added, picking up a random magazine from the coffee table, and tucking it under his shoulder. Mike was an insomniac, so it usually took him a good while to get to sleep.
I really wanted to just scream out what had happened. Mike was the only sober person in the house out of the only people I could tell! I certainly had no intentions of keeping something like this to myself! I had to tell someone! I couldn't let Billie behave like that, and there was no way I would be able to remain sane for the duration of this tour if I had to keep this bottled up! I was hoping to leave the room behind Mike, but it wasn't necessary to make a quick getaway. Tré reappeared. "I feel muuuuch better now!" He said, followed by a rather large belch. "You're f*** crazy Tré, you know that?" Billie laughed. "Ohhhh, you know it brotherrrr!" Tré chorused, trying to high five Billie but clearly missed. He was still slurring his words, and his shirt was completely open.
His jeans were now in their proper position around his waist, but his zipper was down, and he was missing a shoe. This was merely a typical, drunk Tré. "Wellll... ... if you don't miiiiiind peoples, I am now off to never-never land! Or bed, whateverrrrr!" He said, coming over to hug me good night. I could smell the vodka from his breath, and I didn't even want to know how many he had. He hugged me, but suddenly groped my ass. "Hahhaaha... ... " He laughed, followed by a hiccup. I pulled his hand down and muttered "Oh Tré!" as he stumbled away, and tried to do the same to Billie Joe. Billie dodged him though, and Tré kept walking until he fell on to the armchair. He didn't get up however; he rearranged himself in to a better position, and lay happily there dropping off to sleep. Billie Joe just took one last look at me, and left the room. I remained stationary in the lounge, next to a now snoring Tré. There was no way I could go to bed... How could I sleep after something like this had happened?! I decided to clear my head a bit.
I opened the front door, and closed it quietly behind me. The mild summer air brushed gently across my face, and I felt more relaxed now that I was outside in the fresh air. I walked down the cobble steps from the porch, leading in to the long driveway. Mike's BMW was gleaming in the moonlight; he parked it at an odd angle. It was nearly diagonal across the driveway. Maybe he was too tired to straighten up when he got out of the car. The only sound to be heard outside was the breeze gently rocking the wind chimes on the porch every so often. It felt like the whole world was asleep. I sat down on the bottom step, and wrapped my arms around my legs. I shivered even though it was mild. I could only replay the horrible events that Billie Joe had put me through. One strong fear that I had, was not having control over a situation, and that's exactly what happened. What was I going to do? I had to tell someone, I just had to! Either that or I left Berkeley. I couldn't live the next couple of weeks of my life with Green Day, if one of them nearly raped me, threatened to, and threatened to kill me if I told anyone!
I won that competition to go on tour with Green Day... I should be grateful. But isn't grateful when you're happy and appreciative with what you have, but not having to deal with unforeseen events such as this?! I had only been with Green Day since they left Ireland three weeks ago, and it had been going so well. I really bonded well with everyone... .even their families! But, if I told anyone... .would this not be something Billie could go to jail for??! I was only 17 after all, nearly half his age! But I couldn't do that to the millions of Green Day fans out there, and so many of them loving him in particular! But, he did insult his fans... .he really is not the person everyone thinks he is! Does Adrienne not see it?? Or does she support him on this?! Do Mike and Tré feel the same?? Is Green Day just a joke?? Is it just a metaphor for deceitfulness, and hunger for wealth?? So many questions... .I was so alone. I had to tell someone... .I had always been taught to share what was troubling you... .especially if it was something bad. And even if it involved putting someone else in deep shit, if you know it's the right thing to do... .tell someone. That's when I knew I had to... I burst in to tears again. I just couldn't believe Billie Joe had turned like that!
All that time I spent listening to his songs! I suppose it was very much one of those "you never know what goes on behind closed doors" situations. I had built up so much respect and admiration for him, Mike and Tré over the years. I was such a huge fan... and now... ..I didn't even know if I would live to see the next week! What if he was serious about killing me?! He didn't sound like he was joking, and after what he put me through, he was capable of anything! What if he thought I might tell someone, so he would kill me to save his reputation?! I sobbed loudly, just thinking of it. Just then, Adrienne came out in to the porch. I didn't even hear her open the front door. "Isabel, what's wrong? Are you okay?!" She said running over to me. There was no way I could pretend I wasn't crying, and when she put her arm around me, I wept even more. If I was going to tell anyone, there was no way I could tell her! She was his wife! What was I going to say?? How would I wriggle my way out of this predicament without letting her know what was really troubling me?! "What's wrong Isabel? You can tell me! Or is it something personal?!" I looked away from her; I couldn't lie in to those exuberant brown eyes! I looked up at her bedroom window. Billie Joe was standing there, looking at me.
He threw down a threatening expression. I shivered, and held my head in my hands. "No, it's okay. I'll be fine. I'd rather not talk about it if you don't mind. But thanks... .for your concern." I muttered. "Well okay... .but if you ever want to talk to me about anything, I'm here." Adrienne smiled, as she hugged me good night. I looked up at the window again as she left the porch, but Billie Joe was gone. He must have realised that I wasn't going to say anything incriminating. I remained sitting on the porch for a few minutes, before going inside again. I realised that now was not a good time to say anything to anyone. I opened the front door again, and slid in to the hall. Tré was still asleep on the arm chair. I wasn't sure if he was genuinely sleeping, or he was just unconscious from the amount of alcohol he had consumed. I knew I wasn't going to be able to sleep, so I decided to flick on the TV again. It was now nearly 3 am, yet I wasn't tired. I thought America, being "the best country ever" would at least have some decent late night viewing. Nothing very interesting. "Isabel... wake up!" I woke with a start. I had fallen asleep on the couch. Tré was standing over me looking worried. "Did you sleep down here? Oh god, we didn't... you know... ." I immediately sensed what he was insinuating. "Oh god no! Tré... you weren't THAT drunk!"
He collapsed back in to the arm chair with relief. He was a mess. His shirt was still open and it was all creased, his eyes were bloodshot, and his hair was very dishevelled. "Phew! Was worried for a bit there! Man, I drank a lot! I can't even remember falling asleep on the chair! I didn't do anything stupid, did I?!" He said rubbing his eyes. "No Tré, nothing out of your league. Wh-what time is it?!" I jumped up. "10.30." Tré said, as he gulped down a glass of water. How could I have slept all that time?! The last thing I remembered was flicking the TV channels, and feeling anything BUT tiredness! "Well, better get some food in to me! Ahh... .Nothing helps cure a hangover more than eggs and bacon!" Tré licked his lips, and got up to leave the room. As he walked out the door, I heard him say "hey Bill, how long have you been up then?" I froze at the sound of his name. I avoided the kitchen. I walked up the stairs, quickly glancing in to the kitchen as I walked. Billie Joe was sitting down at the table reading the newspaper. He looked away from it to pour some milk in to his coffee. "Look away, look away! He might see you!" I realised. Too late. He caught my eye, and called: "Not having any breakfast then?" He smiled in an eerie way. "Er no. I'm not... hungry." I said quietly, and continued up the stairs.
I went in to the nearby bathroom. I leaned over the sink. I thought I was going to be sick. I splashed some water in my face, and grew short of breath. I wanted to get out of that house... But there was no way I could do so, without having to give an explanation to everyone! Maybe I could say I was homesick! Yes, that's it! I would tell everyone that I wanted to go home! I went to open the door to start packing my suitcase. I jumped back in terror when Billie Joe was standing outside the door... he was waiting for me to come out. He started walking towards me. I edged backwards in to the bathroom with a horrible sense of foreboding. He kept walking towards me. He wasn't smiling. He was far from it. He lowered his eyebrows, and looked like he was about to attack me. He grabbed both my wrists, and pushed me fully back in to the bathroom. He closed the door behind him, and locked it after him.
I held my arms in front of my face, in hope of shielding them in some way in case he struck me again. He pushed me against the wall, and towered over me with his hands leaning against it. "Oh god Billie, please don't hurt me! I didn't tell anyone, I swear!!" I pleaded, trying my best to force the tears back. It didn't work; as soon as he spoke, they found their way down my cheeks. "You better not have. Don't pull any more of your water work displays with anyone... Adrienne spent the night trying to figure out what the hell was wrong with you!!" I didn't want to look at his face, but he grabbed hold of my hair. "Look at me when I'm talking to you!!" He whispered aggressively. My tear filled eyes fell upon his deep, green malevolent rings of fire. I could feel his eyes piercing in to mine, as if he was trying to destroy them. "Now, Adrienne and I are going to pick up the boys. I want you to stay here. Got it?!" I nodded. "Good. Oh... and don't get any ideas about leaving while we're out." He leaned in closer. Our noses were nearly touching. "Because if we come back and you're gone... I'll hunt you down, and I will find you." He slammed the wall with the palm of his hand right beside my head. I jumped in fright. He took one last glance, and then unlocked the bathroom door, and walked out closing it behind him. I slid down the wall and hid my face in my hands. I couldn't live like this! I couldn't bare the threats he was making. "Please god, help me!" I wailed to myself. I felt like I was in a world of darkness, and I couldn't reach the light switch to make it bright again. I waited until I heard the front door closing before I left the bathroom.
As far as I knew, Tré was still in the house at least. I wasn't totally on my own. He always made me laugh, and I needed a lot of cheering up right now. Although this wasn't the type of thing, that Tré Cool medicine would cure easily. Joey and Jakob would come barging in the door soon, wanting me to play Twister or Monopoly, or one of those board games with them. Well at least that would distract me from having to see Billie Joe. As long as I kept out of his way... that's all I was focused on at that moment. "Hey Isabel! Are you still in the bathroom?! Hey, check this out! I think I can dislocate my thumb, and it doesn't even hurt! Haha!" Tré called from downstairs. I got up, and looked in the mirror to make sure there were no signs that I had been upset. I splashed some more water in my face, and dabbed it with a towel. "Tré, is it really possible to dislocate your thumb and not feel any pain?? Are you sure you didn't just move it? Haha!" I said teasingly as I walked down the stairs. He was sitting in the lounge rotating his thumb around vigorously. "Haha very funny!" He said sarcastically, making rude gestures at me with his free hand.
He had finally changed out of his clothes from the night before. He looked much better, as he had shaved, and his hair was tidier. He was wearing a plain black shirt, with the top two buttons untouched. He had a white tie slung around his shoulders. Although, he hadn't put any trousers on yet... he was still in his boxers! It was too early for him to be fully dressed of course! He was only going for the interview with Kerrang magazine in two hours. He hadn't even put on any aftershave yet, but I suppose it was good progress for Tré. "When's Mike due back?" I asked flopping down on the couch. "He should be here shortly, gone to see Estelle. I think he's bringing her back here." Tré said, but he was concentrating more on his rotating thumb. I rolled my eyes. "Tré, there is no way you actually dislocated that thumb!" I threw a magazine at his hand. "Aaahhhhh!! You just broke my thumb! Oh my god! Ah! The pain!!" He roared, falling down on the floor and rolling around. I shook my head. "Tré, get up! I'm not as gullible anymore, ever since I met you!" He laughed and got up again. "Had you for a second though, right?! Ah, remember the times when you used to fall for that though? You were so close to dialling the second 1, when you realised I was f*** about!"
I threw another magazine at him from the coffee table, but it narrowly missed and knocked the plant over behind him. "Haha! Too bad, we don't all have perfect eye co-ordination!" He mocked, as I proceeded to clear up the compost speckled around the floor. He remained playing with his thumb for a few minutes before tapping his watch. "We're going to be late! Not that I care... .I quite like being late, actually!" He chuckled, getting up and pacing up and down looking out the front door as he passed it each time. It was evident that he did care about being late. "Well, Mike's back anyway! Oh, and Bill's coming in behind him!" He said after a while. I looked out the window and sure enough, Mike was parking his car, while Billie Joe sailed in to the driveway. I gulped. I didn't want to have to look at him again. At least him, Tré and Mike were due down at the studio in 2 hours for their interview. It wouldn't be so bad I guessed...
He continued untying my ankles, and when he was finished, he came over and started untying my wrists from the bars on the headboard. He looked at me as he was untying them, and he smiled. I didn't smile back, I was far from even wanting to look at him. My eyes quickly darted away, but he suddenly planted his lips on mine again. I jumped in fright, as it was so unexpected. He started kissing me fiercely, and his tongue was swirling around against mine at the rate my heart beat was going. He stopped suddenly, but kept looking at me while he finished untying my wrists. I slowly pulled them down towards me, and started comforting them, as they were extremely painful. I examined the red burns from the rope irritating them. "Now I want you to go downstairs, and sit in the lounge until they all come back. Shouldn't be long." Billie Joe commanded. I didn't even look at him as I quickly pulled my underwear back up and my jeans. As I was closing my belt, I remembered his comment about it earlier. I took it off my jeans, and threw it on the floor.
He turned around, as the heavy studs hit the ground. I looked at him with sudden pure hatred in my eyes. I also felt like a coward and was terrified of him right now, but I couldn't bear to wear that belt anymore. "Do you know why I bought this belt?? Do you even care?!! I f*** bought it cos you had one just like it! But now I don't f*** want it!!" I screamed at him. He lowered his eyebrows, and looked very taken aback. I turned away and walked out of the room. I was only out of the door when he came up behind me and grabbed my wrist. He turned me around to face him and slammed my head against the wall. "You better not pull any more of those unforeseen tantrums again, do you hear me?!! You better act as normal as you f*** well can. I will kill you quicker than you can imagine, if you breathe any of this to anyone!!" His eyes lit up with rage, and he raised his hand again. He brought it down as hard as the last time, and I felt it slice across my face. I burst in to tears again with the pain and terror. "Now go downstairs like I told you to!!" He said with a leer expression, and through gritted teeth. He released me from his grip, and turned away. He walked back in to his room, and slammed the door.
I was absolutely petrified, but obeyed his order. I ran down the stairs and in to the lounge. I curled up on the couch clutching my face from the pain of his hand. I couldn't believe this was happening. No, maybe it was okay. Maybe it was all a nightmare. Yes, that's it! It had to have been a nightmare... ... It felt very real for a nightmare. And with that thought, I plunged back in to my world of horror. Tré, Mike and Adrienne would be back soon, and I was just so scared. I didn't know what to do! I turned on the television, so that if they came home unexpectedly I could lie and say I was watching a sad film if I was still crying. What was going through Billie Joe's head when he put me through that whole ordeal?! I sobbed continuously, just thinking about it. I wanted to try to get my mind away from it. I turned on MTV, only to find "Green Day; Behind the scenes" broadcasting. I looked at Billie Joe sitting there in between Tré and Mike at the interview. Only, it wasn't the Billie Joe I thought I knew. On the screen, was the Billie Joe all the fans worldwide knew and loved. But the Billie Joe I knew, was very different. I didn't even know why he did it to me. He was fine earlier on that day. We had so much fun together in the park just chilling and pissing around. Only hours prior to the incident, had he been teaching me the guitar chords for Longview.
"And you know, I will always have a special place in my heart for the fans. Without them, we wouldn't be here today. They are the ones to thank for our success." I glared at the TV screen, while Billie Joe sat there sipping his beer, in his black leather jacket, expensive wrangler jeans, and his famous converse shoes. Everything he did infuriated me, just looking at him. His laugh reverberated through my head, and Mike and Tré were sitting there totally oblivious to this monster that crept inside Billie Joe. I was watching this false person lie not only to the cameras and to the fans, but to Tré and Mike... his best friends in the whole entire world. He was lying, and declaring that he had a special place in his heart for the fans! He didn't care about his fans, the only thing he was concerned about, was that the money kept rolling in! I couldn't stand his sanctimonious expressions any longer. I turned the TV off altogether. I didn't want to do anything right now, I just felt like as if I had been thrown in to a blender and now I was in a million pieces.
But before I could let the tears trickle down my face, I heard the front door opening. I quickly wiped my eyes in desperation of hiding any potential tears that could be seen. "Oh hi Izzy, you still up?!" Mike smiled warmly at me, as he put his coat down on the arm chair. He was wearing his usual suspected black shirt, with a pair of blue jeans. "Uh, er, yeah... I eh, couldn't sleep." I blurted out, trying not to make eye contact. I glanced over at the clock on the mantelpiece. Its crystal hands were showing that it was nearly 2 o clock. "Are you okay?" He continued, putting his arm on my shoulder. "You seem very tense." I felt so safe now that he was here, but I wanted to cry so badly. Adrienne and Tré stumbled in the door then, but Adrienne was more sober than Tré was. She threw her purse on the couch, as she needed two hands to help him in the door, he was so drunk. Mike wasn't drinking tonight, because he had planned to get up early the next morning to go down and see Estelle. He was also driving home from the pub, so he didn't want to have anything to drink. "Hey... .Is...bel, is that you?? God you loooook so sexy right now... .Yeah, I thhhink I'll jussstt go and see the toilet for a second... ..I need a piss haha!!" Tré was sporting one of his usual flamboyant shirts. It was a black pinstriped shirt with red diamonds abstracted all over it.
His cream coloured jeans were down to his ankles but this wasn't unusual. He must have been to the bathroom somewhere, and had forgotten to pull them up again. Tré always became giddy when he drank, and he was out of sight before anyone could tell him to actually use the toilet this time, and not the plant in the kitchen. I could still hear him stumbling down the hall. Suddenly, Billie Joe appeared in the room. "You guys are certainly home later than expected!" He smiled at Mike and Adrienne. He hadn't changed out of the clothes he had been wearing. He was still wearing his black shirt, red tie, and black jeans from the photo shoot earlier on. I looked away as he leant over to kiss Adrienne. "Did you guys have fun here?" She smiled, totally oblivious to the events that had happened only a while earlier. "Oh yeah, we had a great time, right Iz?" he grinned. I could tell he was looking at me, but I kept my eyes elsewhere. "Sure." I said briefly. "Good. Well I'm off to bed anyway, you coming Bill?" Adrienne said, letting her hair down. I was sure it was safe to turn around; I didn't want to draw any attention to myself. "Yeah, I'll be up in a minute." He said, ruffling his hair a bit. "I better be heading off to bed too, said I'd see Estelle for 10." Mike said, yawning. "Well, night guys, see you in the morning I guess." He added, picking up a random magazine from the coffee table, and tucking it under his shoulder. Mike was an insomniac, so it usually took him a good while to get to sleep.
I really wanted to just scream out what had happened. Mike was the only sober person in the house out of the only people I could tell! I certainly had no intentions of keeping something like this to myself! I had to tell someone! I couldn't let Billie behave like that, and there was no way I would be able to remain sane for the duration of this tour if I had to keep this bottled up! I was hoping to leave the room behind Mike, but it wasn't necessary to make a quick getaway. Tré reappeared. "I feel muuuuch better now!" He said, followed by a rather large belch. "You're f*** crazy Tré, you know that?" Billie laughed. "Ohhhh, you know it brotherrrr!" Tré chorused, trying to high five Billie but clearly missed. He was still slurring his words, and his shirt was completely open.
His jeans were now in their proper position around his waist, but his zipper was down, and he was missing a shoe. This was merely a typical, drunk Tré. "Wellll... ... if you don't miiiiiind peoples, I am now off to never-never land! Or bed, whateverrrrr!" He said, coming over to hug me good night. I could smell the vodka from his breath, and I didn't even want to know how many he had. He hugged me, but suddenly groped my ass. "Hahhaaha... ... " He laughed, followed by a hiccup. I pulled his hand down and muttered "Oh Tré!" as he stumbled away, and tried to do the same to Billie Joe. Billie dodged him though, and Tré kept walking until he fell on to the armchair. He didn't get up however; he rearranged himself in to a better position, and lay happily there dropping off to sleep. Billie Joe just took one last look at me, and left the room. I remained stationary in the lounge, next to a now snoring Tré. There was no way I could go to bed... How could I sleep after something like this had happened?! I decided to clear my head a bit.
I opened the front door, and closed it quietly behind me. The mild summer air brushed gently across my face, and I felt more relaxed now that I was outside in the fresh air. I walked down the cobble steps from the porch, leading in to the long driveway. Mike's BMW was gleaming in the moonlight; he parked it at an odd angle. It was nearly diagonal across the driveway. Maybe he was too tired to straighten up when he got out of the car. The only sound to be heard outside was the breeze gently rocking the wind chimes on the porch every so often. It felt like the whole world was asleep. I sat down on the bottom step, and wrapped my arms around my legs. I shivered even though it was mild. I could only replay the horrible events that Billie Joe had put me through. One strong fear that I had, was not having control over a situation, and that's exactly what happened. What was I going to do? I had to tell someone, I just had to! Either that or I left Berkeley. I couldn't live the next couple of weeks of my life with Green Day, if one of them nearly raped me, threatened to, and threatened to kill me if I told anyone!
I won that competition to go on tour with Green Day... I should be grateful. But isn't grateful when you're happy and appreciative with what you have, but not having to deal with unforeseen events such as this?! I had only been with Green Day since they left Ireland three weeks ago, and it had been going so well. I really bonded well with everyone... .even their families! But, if I told anyone... .would this not be something Billie could go to jail for??! I was only 17 after all, nearly half his age! But I couldn't do that to the millions of Green Day fans out there, and so many of them loving him in particular! But, he did insult his fans... .he really is not the person everyone thinks he is! Does Adrienne not see it?? Or does she support him on this?! Do Mike and Tré feel the same?? Is Green Day just a joke?? Is it just a metaphor for deceitfulness, and hunger for wealth?? So many questions... .I was so alone. I had to tell someone... .I had always been taught to share what was troubling you... .especially if it was something bad. And even if it involved putting someone else in deep shit, if you know it's the right thing to do... .tell someone. That's when I knew I had to... I burst in to tears again. I just couldn't believe Billie Joe had turned like that!
All that time I spent listening to his songs! I suppose it was very much one of those "you never know what goes on behind closed doors" situations. I had built up so much respect and admiration for him, Mike and Tré over the years. I was such a huge fan... and now... ..I didn't even know if I would live to see the next week! What if he was serious about killing me?! He didn't sound like he was joking, and after what he put me through, he was capable of anything! What if he thought I might tell someone, so he would kill me to save his reputation?! I sobbed loudly, just thinking of it. Just then, Adrienne came out in to the porch. I didn't even hear her open the front door. "Isabel, what's wrong? Are you okay?!" She said running over to me. There was no way I could pretend I wasn't crying, and when she put her arm around me, I wept even more. If I was going to tell anyone, there was no way I could tell her! She was his wife! What was I going to say?? How would I wriggle my way out of this predicament without letting her know what was really troubling me?! "What's wrong Isabel? You can tell me! Or is it something personal?!" I looked away from her; I couldn't lie in to those exuberant brown eyes! I looked up at her bedroom window. Billie Joe was standing there, looking at me.
He threw down a threatening expression. I shivered, and held my head in my hands. "No, it's okay. I'll be fine. I'd rather not talk about it if you don't mind. But thanks... .for your concern." I muttered. "Well okay... .but if you ever want to talk to me about anything, I'm here." Adrienne smiled, as she hugged me good night. I looked up at the window again as she left the porch, but Billie Joe was gone. He must have realised that I wasn't going to say anything incriminating. I remained sitting on the porch for a few minutes, before going inside again. I realised that now was not a good time to say anything to anyone. I opened the front door again, and slid in to the hall. Tré was still asleep on the arm chair. I wasn't sure if he was genuinely sleeping, or he was just unconscious from the amount of alcohol he had consumed. I knew I wasn't going to be able to sleep, so I decided to flick on the TV again. It was now nearly 3 am, yet I wasn't tired. I thought America, being "the best country ever" would at least have some decent late night viewing. Nothing very interesting. "Isabel... wake up!" I woke with a start. I had fallen asleep on the couch. Tré was standing over me looking worried. "Did you sleep down here? Oh god, we didn't... you know... ." I immediately sensed what he was insinuating. "Oh god no! Tré... you weren't THAT drunk!"
He collapsed back in to the arm chair with relief. He was a mess. His shirt was still open and it was all creased, his eyes were bloodshot, and his hair was very dishevelled. "Phew! Was worried for a bit there! Man, I drank a lot! I can't even remember falling asleep on the chair! I didn't do anything stupid, did I?!" He said rubbing his eyes. "No Tré, nothing out of your league. Wh-what time is it?!" I jumped up. "10.30." Tré said, as he gulped down a glass of water. How could I have slept all that time?! The last thing I remembered was flicking the TV channels, and feeling anything BUT tiredness! "Well, better get some food in to me! Ahh... .Nothing helps cure a hangover more than eggs and bacon!" Tré licked his lips, and got up to leave the room. As he walked out the door, I heard him say "hey Bill, how long have you been up then?" I froze at the sound of his name. I avoided the kitchen. I walked up the stairs, quickly glancing in to the kitchen as I walked. Billie Joe was sitting down at the table reading the newspaper. He looked away from it to pour some milk in to his coffee. "Look away, look away! He might see you!" I realised. Too late. He caught my eye, and called: "Not having any breakfast then?" He smiled in an eerie way. "Er no. I'm not... hungry." I said quietly, and continued up the stairs.
I went in to the nearby bathroom. I leaned over the sink. I thought I was going to be sick. I splashed some water in my face, and grew short of breath. I wanted to get out of that house... But there was no way I could do so, without having to give an explanation to everyone! Maybe I could say I was homesick! Yes, that's it! I would tell everyone that I wanted to go home! I went to open the door to start packing my suitcase. I jumped back in terror when Billie Joe was standing outside the door... he was waiting for me to come out. He started walking towards me. I edged backwards in to the bathroom with a horrible sense of foreboding. He kept walking towards me. He wasn't smiling. He was far from it. He lowered his eyebrows, and looked like he was about to attack me. He grabbed both my wrists, and pushed me fully back in to the bathroom. He closed the door behind him, and locked it after him.
I held my arms in front of my face, in hope of shielding them in some way in case he struck me again. He pushed me against the wall, and towered over me with his hands leaning against it. "Oh god Billie, please don't hurt me! I didn't tell anyone, I swear!!" I pleaded, trying my best to force the tears back. It didn't work; as soon as he spoke, they found their way down my cheeks. "You better not have. Don't pull any more of your water work displays with anyone... Adrienne spent the night trying to figure out what the hell was wrong with you!!" I didn't want to look at his face, but he grabbed hold of my hair. "Look at me when I'm talking to you!!" He whispered aggressively. My tear filled eyes fell upon his deep, green malevolent rings of fire. I could feel his eyes piercing in to mine, as if he was trying to destroy them. "Now, Adrienne and I are going to pick up the boys. I want you to stay here. Got it?!" I nodded. "Good. Oh... and don't get any ideas about leaving while we're out." He leaned in closer. Our noses were nearly touching. "Because if we come back and you're gone... I'll hunt you down, and I will find you." He slammed the wall with the palm of his hand right beside my head. I jumped in fright. He took one last glance, and then unlocked the bathroom door, and walked out closing it behind him. I slid down the wall and hid my face in my hands. I couldn't live like this! I couldn't bare the threats he was making. "Please god, help me!" I wailed to myself. I felt like I was in a world of darkness, and I couldn't reach the light switch to make it bright again. I waited until I heard the front door closing before I left the bathroom.
As far as I knew, Tré was still in the house at least. I wasn't totally on my own. He always made me laugh, and I needed a lot of cheering up right now. Although this wasn't the type of thing, that Tré Cool medicine would cure easily. Joey and Jakob would come barging in the door soon, wanting me to play Twister or Monopoly, or one of those board games with them. Well at least that would distract me from having to see Billie Joe. As long as I kept out of his way... that's all I was focused on at that moment. "Hey Isabel! Are you still in the bathroom?! Hey, check this out! I think I can dislocate my thumb, and it doesn't even hurt! Haha!" Tré called from downstairs. I got up, and looked in the mirror to make sure there were no signs that I had been upset. I splashed some more water in my face, and dabbed it with a towel. "Tré, is it really possible to dislocate your thumb and not feel any pain?? Are you sure you didn't just move it? Haha!" I said teasingly as I walked down the stairs. He was sitting in the lounge rotating his thumb around vigorously. "Haha very funny!" He said sarcastically, making rude gestures at me with his free hand.
He had finally changed out of his clothes from the night before. He looked much better, as he had shaved, and his hair was tidier. He was wearing a plain black shirt, with the top two buttons untouched. He had a white tie slung around his shoulders. Although, he hadn't put any trousers on yet... he was still in his boxers! It was too early for him to be fully dressed of course! He was only going for the interview with Kerrang magazine in two hours. He hadn't even put on any aftershave yet, but I suppose it was good progress for Tré. "When's Mike due back?" I asked flopping down on the couch. "He should be here shortly, gone to see Estelle. I think he's bringing her back here." Tré said, but he was concentrating more on his rotating thumb. I rolled my eyes. "Tré, there is no way you actually dislocated that thumb!" I threw a magazine at his hand. "Aaahhhhh!! You just broke my thumb! Oh my god! Ah! The pain!!" He roared, falling down on the floor and rolling around. I shook my head. "Tré, get up! I'm not as gullible anymore, ever since I met you!" He laughed and got up again. "Had you for a second though, right?! Ah, remember the times when you used to fall for that though? You were so close to dialling the second 1, when you realised I was f*** about!"
I threw another magazine at him from the coffee table, but it narrowly missed and knocked the plant over behind him. "Haha! Too bad, we don't all have perfect eye co-ordination!" He mocked, as I proceeded to clear up the compost speckled around the floor. He remained playing with his thumb for a few minutes before tapping his watch. "We're going to be late! Not that I care... .I quite like being late, actually!" He chuckled, getting up and pacing up and down looking out the front door as he passed it each time. It was evident that he did care about being late. "Well, Mike's back anyway! Oh, and Bill's coming in behind him!" He said after a while. I looked out the window and sure enough, Mike was parking his car, while Billie Joe sailed in to the driveway. I gulped. I didn't want to have to look at him again. At least him, Tré and Mike were due down at the studio in 2 hours for their interview. It wouldn't be so bad I guessed...
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