Boulevard Of Broken Lives, chapter 4

I opened my eyes slowly. Everything gradually faded back in to view. I was still lying in the bathroom, and I began rubbing my eyes, and blinking furiously to wave off the blurriness. I had never fainted before, and all I remembered was sitting on the toilet seat, and falling down to the ground. An image of Billie Joe twirling the knife in his hand, and grinning evilly flashed in my mind. I shivered suddenly, and my eyes widened. I lay on the ground for another minute, wondering how long I had been there. I got up slowly, holding on to the side of the bath for support. My nose was still throbbing, and my neck was still painful as well. As I stood up straight, I felt very dizzy. I fell over the toilet and got sick. I felt awful, and now I knew how Tré felt after a long night of drinking. Although, this was for different reasons of course. I wiped my mouth as I flushed the toilet, and stumbled as I got up. I sat down on the seat, but I could feel myself swaying from side to side. I wondered where everyone was. Were Mike and Adrienne back yet? Had Tré finally stopped playing the drums? I thought for a while, and then turned my attention back to what happened in the kitchen with Billie Joe. I remembered it vividly. It was the most terrifying experience of my life, I couldn't believe actually held me at knife point!

I got up from the toilet seat slowly, and when I had my full balance, I opened the bathroom door. I could still feel myself swaying slightly, and when I began to walk in to the hall, I immediately lost my balance and fell against the wall. I needed a glass of water badly, so I did my best to get up again and stumble across the hall to the stairs. I looked over the banisters, and Tré was sitting on the couch playing video games. I slowly walked down the stairs, taking each step at a time and gripping the banisters tightly. "Isabel! Where the hell were you? We were looking for you earlier!" Tré switched the game off, and got up from the couch and came over to the foot of the stairs. "Wh-how long was I out for?" I said, rubbing my head. "Out for? What are you talking about?!" Tré said, looking very puzzled. No one knew I had fainted. "I-I think I passed out! I-I just remember sitting on the toilet seat and then falling... " I trailed off as the dizziness got the better of me, and I fell forward directly in to Tré's arms. "Jesus Christ! Did you take something earlier on?! Oh my god, we have to get you in to the kitchen, come on!" He said, trying to hold me up. "I-I'm fine, I just.... Don't feel too good." I said, wobbling as I pulled myself away from Tré.

"Well, you look very pale. But you don't feel that hot. Better take your temperature just to make sure." Tré said, feeling my forehead. Even his hand touching me, made me feel so much better. He held my shoulders and directed me in to the kitchen. When I pushed open the door, I noticed that Adrienne was in there with Mike. They were sitting down at the table chatting away, and Adrienne was smoking. I suddenly caught a whiff of her cigarette, and held my hand over my mouth. "I think I'm going to be sick again!" I said, wretching. I ran down the hall off the kitchen, and in to the guest bathroom. I only made it as far as the sink. I wasn't actually physically sick, but I kept leaning over the sink in case I was going to be. Mike came rushing in, and grabbed my wrist. "Isabel, you have to tell me what the f*** is going on inside that head of yours! You're actually scaring us!" He said, anxiously. "I-I can't Mike... Please don't!" I cried, and pushed him away from me. I ran out of the bathroom and back in to the kitchen.

Before anyone said anything to me, I left the room. I went upstairs, and in to the guest bedroom and stumbled over to the bed. I hid my face in the pillow and burst in to tears. I heard a knock on the door. "Isabel, please tell me what's going on! I..... I'm worried about you!" I heard Mike calling softly from outside. "Mike, please! I just want to be alone!" I sobbed. I heard a faint sigh from outside the door, but I didn't hear him leave. I knew he was still standing there. I felt awful being that way to him, as he was only trying to help. "Look Mike, I... I just don't feel very good right now. So I just wanted to come up here for a while and be on my own. But thanks, for trying to help. I really appreciate it." I said, looking out the window. "Isabel, you take as long as you want. But I know there's something troubling you. I could see it in your eyes earlier on, when you were about to tell me." Mike was right. I just felt so awful at that moment, and didn't want to talk to anyone. I suddenly felt very tired. The sun shining in to the room shielded the face of the clock on the wall. I couldn't tell what time it was. My eyes closed slowly. I wondered where Billie Joe was. Was he in the house? What did he do after I ran out of the kitchen earlier on?!"

I woke suddenly to the sound of the front door closing. I sat up quickly, and looked around the room. The sun had found a new place to shine on, and now the clock was sitting perfectly visible on the wall. It was 7:20pm. How long had I slept for? I heard voices outside the door. I got up from the bed quietly, and crept over without a sound. "Hey, why are you standing there? Where's Isabel?" I heard Billie Joe say. I think he was walking up the stairs. "She's in here. Billie, I gotta tell you. There's something f*** weird going on in that kid's head! Apparently, she passed out earlier on! And she's been in here for nearly 2 hours! It's freaking us all out! We don't know what to do!" Mike said, sounding concerned. I moved my ear closer to the door to hear what Billie Joe's response would be. "Jesus, that's weird! Well... Maybe I should go in and talk to her." I jumped back at the sight of the handle turning, but Mike intervened. "No I wouldn't, Bill. She requested to be on her own. I say we just leave her to come around and then see what happens." Billie Joe let go of the door handle. "Fine. Well if she comes out, tell her to come and see me. Maybe I can get out of her what's going on." He said. This was just purely another way for Billie Joe to get me on his own, and threaten me again. No way was I going to be near him on my own! "Cool." Mike mumbled, and I could hear them walking away. Someone went in to a room and closed the door, and someone went down the stairs.

"Isabel... Look, I know you wanted to be left alone. I just thought I'd come up and tell you that we're having dinner now, so if you want to come down... " I smiled at the sound of Tré's voice, a while later. I didn't want to leave the room alone, in case I ran in to Billie Joe. "Yeah, yeah I'll come down." I said. I opened the door, and was greeted to a smiling Tré. He hadn't changed out of the clothes he was wearing earlier on, the only thing missing was his tie. He put his arm around me as we walked down the hall and down the stairs. "Thanks for, helping me earlier on. You're so cool Tré.... Literally!" I chuckled, feeling much better. "No problem kid." He said, winking at me, and patting me on the back. Joey and Jakob, were watching television in the lounge, completely engrossed in an episode of Spiderman. Mike must have dropped Estelle back to Anastasia. Tré and I walked in to the kitchen, and Mike, Adrienne, and Billie Joe were sitting at the table. I admired the food decorating the plates. I didn't feel dizzy anymore, I felt quite hungry in fact. "Oh Isabel, are you feeling better?" Adrienne smiled, as she pulled out a chair for me. "Oh yes thank you, I feel much better now! Sorry for worrying you all. I just felt very dizzy earlier on." I smiled at everyone except Billie Joe. I didn't look at him. He didn't bother to look up at me either. He kept his head down, swirling his fork around the pasta on his plate. Adrienne and Tré smiled back at me, but Mike still looked disbelieving. I caught his eye, and he raised his eyebrows before looking away again. He was still wearing his black tank top from the interview.

Billie Joe had changed completely, however. I then remembered seeing a few speckles of blood on his blue t-shirt when we were in the kitchen earlier on. He was now wearing a white t-shirt with "The Clash" engraved on it, in tall bold capitals, and he was wearing a pair of old blue jeans, torn in places. "So, what are the plans for later on then?" Tré questioned Mike, as I looked at the clock. It was now 8. 30pm. "Well, we're all a bit tired so maybe we should go out tomorrow night instead." Mike said, looking at me. I looked down, and continued eating my dinner. "Sounds good, I don't mind either way." Tré responded, stretching. "Either way, we still have to drop the kids off at your Mom's." Billie Joe turned to Adrienne, suddenly becoming involved in the conversation. They had arranged to drop the kids off at Adrienne's mother's house for the weekend. "Well I'll do that later then, if you want." She replied. "You're the best." Billie Joe smiled, kissing her on the cheek. I caught his eye, and he winked at me from across the table. I suddenly felt ill again. "Er, thank you for dinner. It was lovely." I said to Adrienne, lifting my plate away. "No problem!" She smiled. I emptied the remains of the food in to the bin, and put the plate in the dishwasher.

"Where are you going?" Mike asked, turning around in his chair. "Er-I.... Was just going to listen to a bit of music." I said looking around, and improvising. Mike nodded, but he looked sceptical. I smiled awkwardly and left the room. I briefly said good-bye to Joey and Jakob for the weekend, and then went upstairs. I opened my suitcase, and pulled out my CD holder. I flicked through all the CDs in it. "Hhmmmm, Green Day.... Green Day, Green Day, Green Day, Green Day, Green f*** Day!" I threw it back down on the bed. All I had, was Green Day! I didn't want to stop listening to them for good, it was for personal reasons that I now detested Billie Joe. I couldn't take it out on the other two. I put the American Idiot album in to the CD player, and flicked the shuffle button. Boulevard Of Broken Dreams filled the room, and I immediately broke down. I fell on to the bed, and lay there feeling for the first time in my life, like I wanted to die. I felt like a puzzle. Some part of me felt fear, another part felt anger, and another part felt sadness. I felt like there was no one I could turn to, even though I was surrounded by people. I lay on the bed for ages, just thinking of the fun I had with them before all this happened. I had the time of my life. Now, it was all falling apart.

I heard the front door closing, Adrienne must have left with the kids. I was about to get up and go downstairs again, when I heard someone coming up. Suddenly Mike barged in the door without knocking. This was unlike him. "Isabel.... Look..... I know something is wrong with you! You are acting so strangely, and I know you want to tell me! You were about to earlier on! What stopped you?!" I couldn't believe he just came in like that, and I stood there speechless. "Listen, Mike... I" "No, you listen... I am not leaving this room until you tell me what's going on!" He interjected, raising his voice slightly. I opened my mouth I shock. He was actually getting frustrated that I wouldn't tell him what was going on! I looked in to his pearly blue eyes, filled with worry. But before I could answer him, Billie Joe suddenly appeared in the room. He didn't look angry at all, he looked very laid-back. "What's going on?" He said, looking at me. I stood there stationary, with my eyes glued to his. "I told her I wasn't leaving the room until she told me what was going on!" Mike exclaimed.

I looked back at Billie Joe. He folded his arms, and lifted his head slightly. He squinted his eyes, and laughed. "Is that so? Well? What are you waiting for then? Go on Isabel..... Tell us why you're so f*** upset! We're DYING to know!" His eyes suddenly filled with anger, and he lowered his eyebrows. Mike turned to him, and looked at him with disbelief. "Woah! Billie! Calm down!" He said, putting his hand on Billie Joe's shoulder. Billie Joe ignored him and kept talking. "Well? Come on Isabel! We're waiting! Tell us! I DARE YOU!" He said through gritted teeth. I felt so intimidated, and burst in to tears. I could feel his eyes stabbing in to me like daggers. I looked up. "You want to know what's troubling me? Do you?! FINE! I'LL TELL YOU!" I yelled. Mike looked shocked. I laughed. "Oh wait, I don't think I can tell you Mike, Billie might get annoyed! Or better yet, he might even kill me!" I was going hysterical, but then my whole body filled with rage. "Just like he threatened to do if I told anyone that he sexually assaulted me the other night! THERE! You wanted to know what was wrong?! Well there you go!" I shouted, now pointing at Billie Joe. Mike was speechless, and put his hand on his head. "Billie..... Is this...... True?!" He said, horrified.

Billie Joe looked at me with a blank expression. "Well well Isabel, you're not very good at keeping secrets, are you?!" He then suddenly produced a gun from his pocket. "Oh my god!" I cried. "JESUS f*** CHRIST BILLIE, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!" Mike shouted. Billie held the gun out. "Doing what I should have done a long time ago." He looked at me. I covered my eyes with my hands and my heart felt like it was going to burst out of my chest. This was it. I could hear Tré racing up the stairs. He was too late. "BILLLIE NO!" Mike yelled.









BANG!...



... I opened my eyes slowly, still holding my hands over my face. I peered through the gap in my fingers, at the sight of the gun slipping through Billie Joe's hand. "NO!" I screamed...