I Won't Be Gone Forever, chapter 1
September, '82
<p>I ran. I didn't know why and I didn't know where. All I new was that I couldn't stay in the house. I clutched Blue tightly to my chest as the tears streamed down my face. I stumbled round the corner and headed for the park. Mum had stopped trying to comfort me now and I was alone.<br /> I sped past the swings and into a secluded clearing behind the big oak tree, where I knew no-one could see me. I fell to my knees and cried silently. My heart ached and my throat was raspy and dry. I failed to strum something on Blue, for I was too weak with devastation. I didn't know what else to do so I stayed, crumpled in a heap wallowing in the sadness that surrounded me.<br /> I in took breath sharply when I felt two arms wrap themselves around my shoulders and hug me tightly from behind. I knew immediately who it was and so, relaxed in her grip.<br />"Billie Joe it's going to be ok." She whispered softly. Her voice calmed me and my tears stopped flowing so heavily. I leant my head against her chest as she stroked my hair. I closed my eyes as the steady rise and fall of her breathing calmed me more still.
I could see it getting darker now so I lifted my head and smiled weakly at her. She gave me a crossed eyed smile in return which made me giggle. She stood and extended a hand,<br />"You ready to go back?" she asked in a bold but sympathetic tone. I nodded and took her hand. She helped me up but didn't let go of me. I felt safe with her, like no-one else could touch me.<br /> We walked hand in hand down the street until we came to my house. I turned to face her as she put her spare hand around my neck. I embraced her and then looked at my front door. 'I can do this' I thought to myself. But, the second she let go of my hand, my heart sank, the tears welled and I suddenly felt small and alone once more. I looked back at her warm loving face, which gave me a quick burst of bravery, and walked into my house.</p>
<p>I watched Billie walk into his house. Now that he couldn't see me, I let my tears fall. I didn't want him to see me cry. As soon as I had heard about his dad I knew he'd run away and I knew I had to help him. I went to the only place I thought he'd go and sure enough, found him there. I didn't know why but Billie and I have always had a connection and we could understand each other, even without words exchanged. I dawdled up my drive and turned the handle.<br />
"Bethany Abigail March, where have you been?" I flinched as I heard my mother yell drunkenly from her bedroom.<br /> She scared me when she got like this. She assumed I was too young to understand. I looked at the clock, I knew my dad was due home any minute so I ran up the stairs and shut my door roughly. I heard no noise from downstairs for a few moments, until the crashing of the front door being kicked open startled me.<br />"That's it! That is it. I've had it with this fucking town, Beth, Mary, we're leaving!" my heart skipped a beat, I couldn't leave Billie, he needed me, I needed him. I knew what I was doing was going to end in trouble and, most likely pain, but I couldn't control myself. I slammed open my door and flung myself down the stairs,<br />"No dad, we can't leave. Please, please don't make me." I stood in the doorway to the kitchen. I gasped when my father turned and glared at me. I had a gut feeling that I should run but I stood my ground and said again,<br />"Please dad, don't make me leave." My small voice sounded silent against his as he yelled and stomped towards me. I let out a short squeal and turned to run but I was too late.<br />"Rob, what are you doing?" my mother shouted from the top of the stairs.<br />"Teaching this daughter of yours a thing or two about manners." He replied,<br />"Shit." She cried and stumbled down the stairs as my cries of pain unsettled her, "Don't you dare, if you... " she stood stock still when she laid eyes upon her husband and I.<br />"Beth?" she slurred, "Oh my god." She rushed forward and cradled me in her arms. I clung to her and sobbed quietly,<br />"Stop being such babies and get in the car." He sneered; there was an uncomfortable silence, which my mother eventually broke,<br />"No Rob, this is the last time you lay hands on my girl or me." She replied. She had had so much alcohol, she was over confident. I gasped when she said that, no-one disobeyed Rob. He spun round at this comment.<br />"Go upstairs." Mum whispered. I looked up at her, "Go." She repeated. I nodded and crept out of the room. Tiptoeing upstairs I heard banging and yelling which sprang tears to my eyes. I sat on my bed and held my knees up to my chin; it was my turn to feel alone and scared. I lay down gently and as I was falling asleep, my lullaby was shouts of anger and screams of pain...</p>
<p>"Billie? Honey come on get up now, breakfast in ready." I opened my eyes to meet my mum's as she shook me gently. I sat up slowly and received a warm hug.<br /> As she left the room I swung my legs over the edge of the bed. I rubbed the sleep out of my eyes and stood. It was usually my dad who woke me, but since my mum had to get two jobs to pay the rent she was always up first. I hung my head and slumped down the stairs. I walked into the kitchen to meet the equally sad faces of my siblings.<br />We ate breakfast in silence and went our separate ways to get ready for school. I shoved on some jeans and an old t-shirt, pulled on my worn trainers, grabbed my bag and headed for the door. My family did the same. <br />Instead of going straight to school I walked up Bam's road. We always walked to school together, but today she wasn't waiting outside for me. I frowned and moved silently up her drive. I was about to knock on her door when It opened to reveal her frantic mother,<br />"Oh Billie you scared the living shit outta me sweetie." She whispered, and then looked at her feet; "Um, I have some bad news hon." I looked right into her eyes, which made it harder for her to tell me,<br />"Bam and I, we're leaving." She blurted, I stepped backwards, "I know it's sudden but we have to go, now." She finished, and rushed past me, her hands laden with clothes and bags. Bam followed her; she stopped when she saw me. I stared at her face, and then her sad eyes. We stood in a trance for a moment before she moved forward and embraced me,<br />
"Billie, I'm so sorry. I really want to stay but... " she trailed off, I looked confused. She lifted her hair to show me the left side of her face and neck. It was covered in huge purple bruises. I gasped as she replaced her hair and hugged me once more. I held her tightly.<br />"Look, I promise I'll be back and I'll explain everything to you then, but I have to go now, before he wakes up." she gestured to her house. I nodded dumbly and let her walk past me to her car. She shoved her bags in the back and turned to me,<br />"I love you Billie Joe." She whispered, again I nodded, I couldn't take it all in. we hugged one last time and I watched her get in her car.<br />"Bye Billie." She whispered as she wound the window down. Upon seeing tears fill her eyes, they also filled mine.<br />"Bye Bam." I replied. I walked out to the middle of the road as her car disappeared. I waved hysterically, as did she, until she'd completely vanished. I stood in the road for a while longer not knowing what to do. She was the only person left in my life who I truly adored and admired, she had left me too.<br />I watched Bam leave me for the first time. I loved her too; even though I was only ten I knew it. Every morning I waited for Bam at our meeting point, hoping she'd return. She never did. After a few more months my mum couldn't pay the rent any more so we had to move. My eleventh birthday came and went and after about a year I gave up hope of ever seeing her again.</p>
<p>I ran. I didn't know why and I didn't know where. All I new was that I couldn't stay in the house. I clutched Blue tightly to my chest as the tears streamed down my face. I stumbled round the corner and headed for the park. Mum had stopped trying to comfort me now and I was alone.<br /> I sped past the swings and into a secluded clearing behind the big oak tree, where I knew no-one could see me. I fell to my knees and cried silently. My heart ached and my throat was raspy and dry. I failed to strum something on Blue, for I was too weak with devastation. I didn't know what else to do so I stayed, crumpled in a heap wallowing in the sadness that surrounded me.<br /> I in took breath sharply when I felt two arms wrap themselves around my shoulders and hug me tightly from behind. I knew immediately who it was and so, relaxed in her grip.<br />"Billie Joe it's going to be ok." She whispered softly. Her voice calmed me and my tears stopped flowing so heavily. I leant my head against her chest as she stroked my hair. I closed my eyes as the steady rise and fall of her breathing calmed me more still.
I could see it getting darker now so I lifted my head and smiled weakly at her. She gave me a crossed eyed smile in return which made me giggle. She stood and extended a hand,<br />"You ready to go back?" she asked in a bold but sympathetic tone. I nodded and took her hand. She helped me up but didn't let go of me. I felt safe with her, like no-one else could touch me.<br /> We walked hand in hand down the street until we came to my house. I turned to face her as she put her spare hand around my neck. I embraced her and then looked at my front door. 'I can do this' I thought to myself. But, the second she let go of my hand, my heart sank, the tears welled and I suddenly felt small and alone once more. I looked back at her warm loving face, which gave me a quick burst of bravery, and walked into my house.</p>
<p>I watched Billie walk into his house. Now that he couldn't see me, I let my tears fall. I didn't want him to see me cry. As soon as I had heard about his dad I knew he'd run away and I knew I had to help him. I went to the only place I thought he'd go and sure enough, found him there. I didn't know why but Billie and I have always had a connection and we could understand each other, even without words exchanged. I dawdled up my drive and turned the handle.<br />
"Bethany Abigail March, where have you been?" I flinched as I heard my mother yell drunkenly from her bedroom.<br /> She scared me when she got like this. She assumed I was too young to understand. I looked at the clock, I knew my dad was due home any minute so I ran up the stairs and shut my door roughly. I heard no noise from downstairs for a few moments, until the crashing of the front door being kicked open startled me.<br />"That's it! That is it. I've had it with this fucking town, Beth, Mary, we're leaving!" my heart skipped a beat, I couldn't leave Billie, he needed me, I needed him. I knew what I was doing was going to end in trouble and, most likely pain, but I couldn't control myself. I slammed open my door and flung myself down the stairs,<br />"No dad, we can't leave. Please, please don't make me." I stood in the doorway to the kitchen. I gasped when my father turned and glared at me. I had a gut feeling that I should run but I stood my ground and said again,<br />"Please dad, don't make me leave." My small voice sounded silent against his as he yelled and stomped towards me. I let out a short squeal and turned to run but I was too late.<br />"Rob, what are you doing?" my mother shouted from the top of the stairs.<br />"Teaching this daughter of yours a thing or two about manners." He replied,<br />"Shit." She cried and stumbled down the stairs as my cries of pain unsettled her, "Don't you dare, if you... " she stood stock still when she laid eyes upon her husband and I.<br />"Beth?" she slurred, "Oh my god." She rushed forward and cradled me in her arms. I clung to her and sobbed quietly,<br />"Stop being such babies and get in the car." He sneered; there was an uncomfortable silence, which my mother eventually broke,<br />"No Rob, this is the last time you lay hands on my girl or me." She replied. She had had so much alcohol, she was over confident. I gasped when she said that, no-one disobeyed Rob. He spun round at this comment.<br />"Go upstairs." Mum whispered. I looked up at her, "Go." She repeated. I nodded and crept out of the room. Tiptoeing upstairs I heard banging and yelling which sprang tears to my eyes. I sat on my bed and held my knees up to my chin; it was my turn to feel alone and scared. I lay down gently and as I was falling asleep, my lullaby was shouts of anger and screams of pain...</p>
<p>"Billie? Honey come on get up now, breakfast in ready." I opened my eyes to meet my mum's as she shook me gently. I sat up slowly and received a warm hug.<br /> As she left the room I swung my legs over the edge of the bed. I rubbed the sleep out of my eyes and stood. It was usually my dad who woke me, but since my mum had to get two jobs to pay the rent she was always up first. I hung my head and slumped down the stairs. I walked into the kitchen to meet the equally sad faces of my siblings.<br />We ate breakfast in silence and went our separate ways to get ready for school. I shoved on some jeans and an old t-shirt, pulled on my worn trainers, grabbed my bag and headed for the door. My family did the same. <br />Instead of going straight to school I walked up Bam's road. We always walked to school together, but today she wasn't waiting outside for me. I frowned and moved silently up her drive. I was about to knock on her door when It opened to reveal her frantic mother,<br />"Oh Billie you scared the living shit outta me sweetie." She whispered, and then looked at her feet; "Um, I have some bad news hon." I looked right into her eyes, which made it harder for her to tell me,<br />"Bam and I, we're leaving." She blurted, I stepped backwards, "I know it's sudden but we have to go, now." She finished, and rushed past me, her hands laden with clothes and bags. Bam followed her; she stopped when she saw me. I stared at her face, and then her sad eyes. We stood in a trance for a moment before she moved forward and embraced me,<br />
"Billie, I'm so sorry. I really want to stay but... " she trailed off, I looked confused. She lifted her hair to show me the left side of her face and neck. It was covered in huge purple bruises. I gasped as she replaced her hair and hugged me once more. I held her tightly.<br />"Look, I promise I'll be back and I'll explain everything to you then, but I have to go now, before he wakes up." she gestured to her house. I nodded dumbly and let her walk past me to her car. She shoved her bags in the back and turned to me,<br />"I love you Billie Joe." She whispered, again I nodded, I couldn't take it all in. we hugged one last time and I watched her get in her car.<br />"Bye Billie." She whispered as she wound the window down. Upon seeing tears fill her eyes, they also filled mine.<br />"Bye Bam." I replied. I walked out to the middle of the road as her car disappeared. I waved hysterically, as did she, until she'd completely vanished. I stood in the road for a while longer not knowing what to do. She was the only person left in my life who I truly adored and admired, she had left me too.<br />I watched Bam leave me for the first time. I loved her too; even though I was only ten I knew it. Every morning I waited for Bam at our meeting point, hoping she'd return. She never did. After a few more months my mum couldn't pay the rent any more so we had to move. My eleventh birthday came and went and after about a year I gave up hope of ever seeing her again.</p>
Page 1/27 | Next
