"You Want Fries With That?", chapter 10
At this time my dad was still nowhere to be found. So me and my aunt were left to arrange the funeral for my mother. I knew my mom would of hated to be planted in the ground so I got her cremated. A lot of people must have been dead by now because I had to wait an extra day till my mother could be cremated.
In this extra day I was thinking so hard about the perfect place for her ashes to be thrown. After a few hours I figured it out. When I was a little girl my mother would take me to this park for us to have a picnic, we would go when my dad was at work or drunk. So I knew I wanted to go here. I told my aunt, she wasn't to happy about paying for 3 tickets for a greyhound bus. But she knew how much this meant to me.
My bed at my aunts was way more better than Mike's one. Thinking of Mike, god I hadn't heard from him in so long. I wish I had. All the sudden my phone rang.
"Hello," I said.
"Hey Candy, it's Mike,"
"Oh hi,"
"So," I asked hoping he was asking me out.
"I just wanna let you know that I am still going to your mom's funeral. I know how much this means to you so I will still go. I just need to know where it is," I missed his soft voice.
"Oh, it's at a park near my old house. So you need to pay for a bus ticket," I knew he would probably back away.
"Well ok," he sounded kinda mad.
"I got to go," he said and I got sad.
"Ok see you soon," but he had all ready hung up.
**
The next day I got my mothers ashes. It was so weird knowing that my whole mother was in this little jar. I was so excited about going back to the park. It had been so long since I had been there. The last time I was there I was going to smoke pot. God, what a dumb kid I was. I thought back to Lyn, I wonder if she still did weed? But I wasn't just excited about going there was also I was nervous what if my dad was there? Waiting on the park bench or on the swings? I stopped thinking and held the ashes harder.
I jumped out of my bed the next morning. Once we were all ready we drove down to the bus stop and parked the car. Mike was already there, it was pretty awkward we both didn't know what to say.
"Hi," I said.
"Hi," he said back still staring at his black and white sneakers. We got on to the bus and still didn't talk. No one did. I sat there with the ashes and Lyn had her new book she was reading.
Once we were finally out the bus, I ran. It all flashed back in the park. Me on the swings my mom with all the food. It was like a movie, staring me and my mom. Bit by bit and word for word. I think it was too emotional for me so I stared to cry and no one came to hug me. They all stood there waiting to get it the funeral over with. They didn't know my mother like I did. No one did. They all thought she was a fuck faced dipshit. I wanted to scream and slap them all, even Mike.
We all said something about my mother. Lyn didn't have much to say figuring she never even met her only aunt. I on the other hand said a long speech and a little poem I had wrote using lines from other poems to form a sad poem that was just like my mother. It went like this.
There are strange things done in the midnight sun,
By the men who moil for gold.
The Arctic trails have secret tails.
That would make your blood run cold.
The northern lights have seen cold sights.
But the coldest they ever did see was the night on Lake Lebarge.
I cremated Courtney Mcgee. ( Mcgee was my mom's name before she married my dad so I thought I would say that)
After I threw the ashes into the forest I threw one of the five roses that Mike had got me into the sandbox that stood before me. I don't know why I did that. I looked at Mike he was talking to my aunt. I loved him so much and I knew he probably didn't love me back. I was being a little annoying to myself but I really did want Mike back.
I went up to Mike and asked him if he wanted to go out again and give this another try.
"No Candy. I know you are going through a bad time, but I think you should find other ways to find a shoulder to cry on," Mike said.
"Mike I don't want you for a shoulder to cry on. Michael Ryan Pitchard, I want you for life. To maybe even get married and have kids. I fucking love you!" I yelled by now a lot of people were staring.
"Candy stop! It's all in your head," he pointed to his head. It made me feel dumb.
"Here it comes again all in my head. Mike, do you ever think that I maybe just maybe have a brain of my own and I can decide for my own self who I love and don't!" I was yelling maybe even screaming.
"Candy, I don't think it is a good idea that is what my brain is telling me!" he said.
I walked over closer to the bus where Lyn and Jean were already sitting.
"Thanks Mike. Thanks Mike, you have once again ruined my week," I said.
"What do you mean?"
"Mike, do you really think I cheated on you? Well what ever the answer, I didn't. I DIDN'T CHEAT ON YOU! Do you hear it loud and clear this time?" I started to cry. Mike stood there. Waited a minute and then it came.
"You broke my heart Candy. You smashed it, you stepped on it. You broke it. You know what I still have feelings for you too. But I can't I just can't go out with you. So go away!" He yelled.
I didn't know what I did I didn't cheat on him or anything. I guess he still believed Kyle. I looked at all the people and little kids looking, it was time to stop. I walked on to the greyhound bus and passed the driver my ticket. I then got my seat and looked out the window there was Mike swinging on the swing holding my ex- rose, he was crying. The bus drove off leaving him behind.
I didn't know how Mike got home, I figured I would never.
In this extra day I was thinking so hard about the perfect place for her ashes to be thrown. After a few hours I figured it out. When I was a little girl my mother would take me to this park for us to have a picnic, we would go when my dad was at work or drunk. So I knew I wanted to go here. I told my aunt, she wasn't to happy about paying for 3 tickets for a greyhound bus. But she knew how much this meant to me.
My bed at my aunts was way more better than Mike's one. Thinking of Mike, god I hadn't heard from him in so long. I wish I had. All the sudden my phone rang.
"Hello," I said.
"Hey Candy, it's Mike,"
"Oh hi,"
"So," I asked hoping he was asking me out.
"I just wanna let you know that I am still going to your mom's funeral. I know how much this means to you so I will still go. I just need to know where it is," I missed his soft voice.
"Oh, it's at a park near my old house. So you need to pay for a bus ticket," I knew he would probably back away.
"Well ok," he sounded kinda mad.
"I got to go," he said and I got sad.
"Ok see you soon," but he had all ready hung up.
**
The next day I got my mothers ashes. It was so weird knowing that my whole mother was in this little jar. I was so excited about going back to the park. It had been so long since I had been there. The last time I was there I was going to smoke pot. God, what a dumb kid I was. I thought back to Lyn, I wonder if she still did weed? But I wasn't just excited about going there was also I was nervous what if my dad was there? Waiting on the park bench or on the swings? I stopped thinking and held the ashes harder.
I jumped out of my bed the next morning. Once we were all ready we drove down to the bus stop and parked the car. Mike was already there, it was pretty awkward we both didn't know what to say.
"Hi," I said.
"Hi," he said back still staring at his black and white sneakers. We got on to the bus and still didn't talk. No one did. I sat there with the ashes and Lyn had her new book she was reading.
Once we were finally out the bus, I ran. It all flashed back in the park. Me on the swings my mom with all the food. It was like a movie, staring me and my mom. Bit by bit and word for word. I think it was too emotional for me so I stared to cry and no one came to hug me. They all stood there waiting to get it the funeral over with. They didn't know my mother like I did. No one did. They all thought she was a fuck faced dipshit. I wanted to scream and slap them all, even Mike.
We all said something about my mother. Lyn didn't have much to say figuring she never even met her only aunt. I on the other hand said a long speech and a little poem I had wrote using lines from other poems to form a sad poem that was just like my mother. It went like this.
There are strange things done in the midnight sun,
By the men who moil for gold.
The Arctic trails have secret tails.
That would make your blood run cold.
The northern lights have seen cold sights.
But the coldest they ever did see was the night on Lake Lebarge.
I cremated Courtney Mcgee. ( Mcgee was my mom's name before she married my dad so I thought I would say that)
After I threw the ashes into the forest I threw one of the five roses that Mike had got me into the sandbox that stood before me. I don't know why I did that. I looked at Mike he was talking to my aunt. I loved him so much and I knew he probably didn't love me back. I was being a little annoying to myself but I really did want Mike back.
I went up to Mike and asked him if he wanted to go out again and give this another try.
"No Candy. I know you are going through a bad time, but I think you should find other ways to find a shoulder to cry on," Mike said.
"Mike I don't want you for a shoulder to cry on. Michael Ryan Pitchard, I want you for life. To maybe even get married and have kids. I fucking love you!" I yelled by now a lot of people were staring.
"Candy stop! It's all in your head," he pointed to his head. It made me feel dumb.
"Here it comes again all in my head. Mike, do you ever think that I maybe just maybe have a brain of my own and I can decide for my own self who I love and don't!" I was yelling maybe even screaming.
"Candy, I don't think it is a good idea that is what my brain is telling me!" he said.
I walked over closer to the bus where Lyn and Jean were already sitting.
"Thanks Mike. Thanks Mike, you have once again ruined my week," I said.
"What do you mean?"
"Mike, do you really think I cheated on you? Well what ever the answer, I didn't. I DIDN'T CHEAT ON YOU! Do you hear it loud and clear this time?" I started to cry. Mike stood there. Waited a minute and then it came.
"You broke my heart Candy. You smashed it, you stepped on it. You broke it. You know what I still have feelings for you too. But I can't I just can't go out with you. So go away!" He yelled.
I didn't know what I did I didn't cheat on him or anything. I guess he still believed Kyle. I looked at all the people and little kids looking, it was time to stop. I walked on to the greyhound bus and passed the driver my ticket. I then got my seat and looked out the window there was Mike swinging on the swing holding my ex- rose, he was crying. The bus drove off leaving him behind.
I didn't know how Mike got home, I figured I would never.
