Finding The Perfect Girl (A Tre Cool Story), chapter 1
"Sigh..." Tre exclaimed, sitting lazily on Billie Joe's old moth-eaten couch in his basement. He wished Billie or even Mike was here so he could complain to them. Tre curiously ripped out some of the stuffing from the armrest.
This was the last god damn thing he needed. Claudia and Tre had gotten into their last fight, and she had already filed for divorce. And, he hated the thought of this, no more good sex! Arrrggh. His poor trouser snake wouldn't be able to handle it. What would happen to poor Frankito? All of a sudden, Tre became emotional. 'That little bitch! ' he thought. 'Wh-wh-whyyy?!? WHY did she leave me here like this, all alone like a stray dog? WHY did she throw the expensive ring I gave her down the sewer drain? I LOVED HER! ' He bawled. Sobbing, he picked out more stuffing and threw it on the floor.
Billie unlocked the door. He was hoping to talk to Tre and Mike about the new bar that had opened down the street, then he realised that only Tre was home because Mike was out with his girlfriend. It was quiet in the house, too quiet. "Tre? Are you there?" Billie said as he walked in the door. "There's a new bar in town, let's go get drunk and stoned!"
There was no answer.
"Hello? Tre, are you home? Hellooooo?" Billie said, searching the house. He looked everywhere. He looked in the bathroom, and all of a sudden a disgusting stench wafted into his nose. "EEEEW! God, Tre, did you eat beans today? FLUSH THE TOILET!" But Billie's voice only echoed through the halls. He went into the basement and was met by a horrible sight.
There was Tre on the couch, asleep. All around him and on the floor were little tufts of stuffing from the armrest on the couch. The armrest itself was ripped to shreds and had absolutely no stuffing in it. Billie looked around and noticed that there was even stuffing on the TV, in the corners, and floating in an abandoned mug of coffee. "What the fuck!" Billie yelled, and slapped Tre across the face hard. In that second Billie regretted that decision because when he released his hand it felt wet with tears. 'Uh-oh, ' he thought. Instantly, Tre woke with a start. He yelled, "Fuck you, Claudia! Go fuck your new boy--" and stopped, realising that Billie was the one standing there. "Oh shit, sorry man. Claudia and I—had problems today." He put his face in his hands.
"Aw, I'm sorry to hear that... " Billie said, and launched into a barricade of questions. "When did you guys break up? What happened? Has she got a new boyfriend already? Who is he?"
"SHUT UP, you dumb fuck! Stop with the questions, I'LL tell you the story!" Tre hollered, wiping the tears from his swollen eyes. "And wait 'till Mike gets home so I won't have to tell about the stupid bitch twice."
At that moment there was a loud slam of the door. "Honey, I'm HOME!" Mike yelled from upstairs. "We're in the basement, Mike!" Billie and Tre yelled in unison. "PERSONAL JINX!" Tre cried, feeling a little bit better that his best friends were there to comfort him when he told about Claudia.
This was the last god damn thing he needed. Claudia and Tre had gotten into their last fight, and she had already filed for divorce. And, he hated the thought of this, no more good sex! Arrrggh. His poor trouser snake wouldn't be able to handle it. What would happen to poor Frankito? All of a sudden, Tre became emotional. 'That little bitch! ' he thought. 'Wh-wh-whyyy?!? WHY did she leave me here like this, all alone like a stray dog? WHY did she throw the expensive ring I gave her down the sewer drain? I LOVED HER! ' He bawled. Sobbing, he picked out more stuffing and threw it on the floor.
Billie unlocked the door. He was hoping to talk to Tre and Mike about the new bar that had opened down the street, then he realised that only Tre was home because Mike was out with his girlfriend. It was quiet in the house, too quiet. "Tre? Are you there?" Billie said as he walked in the door. "There's a new bar in town, let's go get drunk and stoned!"
There was no answer.
"Hello? Tre, are you home? Hellooooo?" Billie said, searching the house. He looked everywhere. He looked in the bathroom, and all of a sudden a disgusting stench wafted into his nose. "EEEEW! God, Tre, did you eat beans today? FLUSH THE TOILET!" But Billie's voice only echoed through the halls. He went into the basement and was met by a horrible sight.
There was Tre on the couch, asleep. All around him and on the floor were little tufts of stuffing from the armrest on the couch. The armrest itself was ripped to shreds and had absolutely no stuffing in it. Billie looked around and noticed that there was even stuffing on the TV, in the corners, and floating in an abandoned mug of coffee. "What the fuck!" Billie yelled, and slapped Tre across the face hard. In that second Billie regretted that decision because when he released his hand it felt wet with tears. 'Uh-oh, ' he thought. Instantly, Tre woke with a start. He yelled, "Fuck you, Claudia! Go fuck your new boy--" and stopped, realising that Billie was the one standing there. "Oh shit, sorry man. Claudia and I—had problems today." He put his face in his hands.
"Aw, I'm sorry to hear that... " Billie said, and launched into a barricade of questions. "When did you guys break up? What happened? Has she got a new boyfriend already? Who is he?"
"SHUT UP, you dumb fuck! Stop with the questions, I'LL tell you the story!" Tre hollered, wiping the tears from his swollen eyes. "And wait 'till Mike gets home so I won't have to tell about the stupid bitch twice."
At that moment there was a loud slam of the door. "Honey, I'm HOME!" Mike yelled from upstairs. "We're in the basement, Mike!" Billie and Tre yelled in unison. "PERSONAL JINX!" Tre cried, feeling a little bit better that his best friends were there to comfort him when he told about Claudia.
Page 1/15 | Next
