Finding The Perfect Girl (A Tre Cool Story), chapter 6
Tre woke up just as Billie hung up the phone. "Who were you talking to?" he asked Billie.
"Whitey. By the way, we ordered you some new drum sticks, and they'll be expected in about a week and a half."
"New drum sticks?!? Why? I like my old ones just fine."
"Tre, they're all chewed on. It's disgusting!"
"Okay, mother," Tre said in a nasal voice.
The boys went to the cinema that night to see the new Pink Panther movie. Billie wished he hadn't got so much popcorn (it was jumbo-sized) because Tre was throwing it up like confetti, putting it in his nostrils, and chucking it at people in the front row. Sometimes even when he was deeply depressed he could get all wound up.
Mike eventually told Tre to settle down because some old lady was yelling at him to "stop acting like a frivolous infant". Tre told her that he was simply enjoying the theatre but stopped afterwards, grumbling "Stupid old hag."
The movie was great and it was really funny. Billie, Mike and Tre laughed their asses off during the whole film. When they left the theatre, as a final goodbye, Tre dumped the rest of the popcorn on the old lady's head and ran for his life. Billie and Mike decided to run too otherwise the blame would be placed on them. Fortunately, though, the cinema staff didn't catch the boys.
The next morning, Billie took out the paint he had bought at Home Depot. 'Hmm,' he thought, 'I should hire some sort of specialist to paint the walls and do our bedrooms.' Billie was thinking of a special paint job for their rooms- like the one in their Jesus Of Suburbia video. That would be so cool! He discussed it with Mike and Tre and they agreed, so Billie phoned up a painter to come in on Friday.
The boys were just lazing around the house and playing their instruments. Mike sipped his coffee as he struck a few notes- 'Dirnt. Dirnt. Dirnt.' This was how he got his band name- some people didn't even know his real last name was Pritchard. Tre sneaked up behind him and whacked him over the head with his drumsticks (the chewed ones) yelling, "BANG!" Mike spat out his coffee and butted him hard in the stomach with his bass. "Uuuaaaah!" Tre groaned, the wind having been knocked out of him. He dropped his drumsticks and laid down on the floor, clutching his tummy. Mike pointed the end of his bass at Tre's throat as if it were a very long knife. "Doaaaaoooon't!" he said, making 'don't' seem like it had 3 syllables. Tre whimpered.
"What's going on here?" Billie said as he walked in and saw a really weird scene: Mike pointing the end of his bass at lying-down Tre's throat. Mike and Tre both froze, and then started shouting, "HE started it!" Billie walked up, grabbed Tre's drum sticks, and whacked them both on the head.
"There, happy now? Quit it!" he said. This caused Tre and Mike to retaliate, and a silly fight started between them. Tre juggled his drumsticks for a few brief seconds then roared, "Oooaaaahoaaaaaoooooh!" attacking Billie with them. Mike joined in on the action, strumming his guitar, stabbing at their stomachs, and then strumming again.
It was a catfight for a few minutes when finally the dust settled and they all laughed heartily. "Phew... what a brawl!" Billie said "And look, Tre, you're... sweating!" Tre looked at his armpit, which was damp and smelled like cheese.
"Yeah, I'm armpit-man! Dun-dah-DAH!" he said as he stuck his pit in Mike and Billie's face.
"Phwoar, Tre, you smell like cheese!" Billie said, laughing.
"Bleggh, go have a shower!" Mike said as he plugged his nose.
"No, I think I'll be smelly today," he said, and left the living room to go watch TV in his bedroom. As an added bonus, he let out an SBD for Mike and Billie to inhale.
As he plopped down on his bed and switched on the tube, there was a yell coming form the living room. "SHIT, TRE!" Billie and Mike shouted. Tre smiled. 'Ah, good times,' he thought. Tre surfed the channels and thought of Longview- he was sitting around watching the tube, but nothing was on. He turned the TV off and took a shower.
The phone rang, and Mike picked it up. It was Jason. "Hey Mike, Cloe's coming in next Thursday, 'cause she's visiting her parents in Arizona right now."
"Sounds good, I'll tell Billie. Tre's sure gonna be surprised!" Mike exclaimed.
"For sure. Listen, I got to go, I'm playing with Pinhead Gunpowder tonight. See you later."
"In a while, crocodile." Mike hung up and told Billie the news.
"Whitey. By the way, we ordered you some new drum sticks, and they'll be expected in about a week and a half."
"New drum sticks?!? Why? I like my old ones just fine."
"Tre, they're all chewed on. It's disgusting!"
"Okay, mother," Tre said in a nasal voice.
The boys went to the cinema that night to see the new Pink Panther movie. Billie wished he hadn't got so much popcorn (it was jumbo-sized) because Tre was throwing it up like confetti, putting it in his nostrils, and chucking it at people in the front row. Sometimes even when he was deeply depressed he could get all wound up.
Mike eventually told Tre to settle down because some old lady was yelling at him to "stop acting like a frivolous infant". Tre told her that he was simply enjoying the theatre but stopped afterwards, grumbling "Stupid old hag."
The movie was great and it was really funny. Billie, Mike and Tre laughed their asses off during the whole film. When they left the theatre, as a final goodbye, Tre dumped the rest of the popcorn on the old lady's head and ran for his life. Billie and Mike decided to run too otherwise the blame would be placed on them. Fortunately, though, the cinema staff didn't catch the boys.
The next morning, Billie took out the paint he had bought at Home Depot. 'Hmm,' he thought, 'I should hire some sort of specialist to paint the walls and do our bedrooms.' Billie was thinking of a special paint job for their rooms- like the one in their Jesus Of Suburbia video. That would be so cool! He discussed it with Mike and Tre and they agreed, so Billie phoned up a painter to come in on Friday.
The boys were just lazing around the house and playing their instruments. Mike sipped his coffee as he struck a few notes- 'Dirnt. Dirnt. Dirnt.' This was how he got his band name- some people didn't even know his real last name was Pritchard. Tre sneaked up behind him and whacked him over the head with his drumsticks (the chewed ones) yelling, "BANG!" Mike spat out his coffee and butted him hard in the stomach with his bass. "Uuuaaaah!" Tre groaned, the wind having been knocked out of him. He dropped his drumsticks and laid down on the floor, clutching his tummy. Mike pointed the end of his bass at Tre's throat as if it were a very long knife. "Doaaaaoooon't!" he said, making 'don't' seem like it had 3 syllables. Tre whimpered.
"What's going on here?" Billie said as he walked in and saw a really weird scene: Mike pointing the end of his bass at lying-down Tre's throat. Mike and Tre both froze, and then started shouting, "HE started it!" Billie walked up, grabbed Tre's drum sticks, and whacked them both on the head.
"There, happy now? Quit it!" he said. This caused Tre and Mike to retaliate, and a silly fight started between them. Tre juggled his drumsticks for a few brief seconds then roared, "Oooaaaahoaaaaaoooooh!" attacking Billie with them. Mike joined in on the action, strumming his guitar, stabbing at their stomachs, and then strumming again.
It was a catfight for a few minutes when finally the dust settled and they all laughed heartily. "Phew... what a brawl!" Billie said "And look, Tre, you're... sweating!" Tre looked at his armpit, which was damp and smelled like cheese.
"Yeah, I'm armpit-man! Dun-dah-DAH!" he said as he stuck his pit in Mike and Billie's face.
"Phwoar, Tre, you smell like cheese!" Billie said, laughing.
"Bleggh, go have a shower!" Mike said as he plugged his nose.
"No, I think I'll be smelly today," he said, and left the living room to go watch TV in his bedroom. As an added bonus, he let out an SBD for Mike and Billie to inhale.
As he plopped down on his bed and switched on the tube, there was a yell coming form the living room. "SHIT, TRE!" Billie and Mike shouted. Tre smiled. 'Ah, good times,' he thought. Tre surfed the channels and thought of Longview- he was sitting around watching the tube, but nothing was on. He turned the TV off and took a shower.
The phone rang, and Mike picked it up. It was Jason. "Hey Mike, Cloe's coming in next Thursday, 'cause she's visiting her parents in Arizona right now."
"Sounds good, I'll tell Billie. Tre's sure gonna be surprised!" Mike exclaimed.
"For sure. Listen, I got to go, I'm playing with Pinhead Gunpowder tonight. See you later."
"In a while, crocodile." Mike hung up and told Billie the news.
