Naked Rockstars In My Care, Troubled Nights, City Lights. Another Wasted Soul., chapter 1
I don't really see the point anymore.
Guitar chords, raspy voices.Drum solos and bass riffs.
It's the only thing holding me together.
If I moved from here and Gilman, I'd lose my mind.I don't even have any musical talent that would keep me going.
The whole atmosphere here is what I live for.Big town, city streeds crowded but welcoming, music junkies of all kinds, and the occaisional major drug cult or drive by shooting.It was home, no matter how hard it got.
And I had just about had enough.I was about to go crazy. I was locked up in the tenement all day until school started again, for my final year of nothing but hellish torture and academics.
The tenement would've been fine if I had a stereo.The windows were covered with ductape from the multiple break-ins, and in the small lobby, people of all kinds wandered.You'd have to get out of the lobby fast, because if you stayed too long, you would probably get jumped by some weirdo.In the tiny room I rented for a meager $250 (pay from my long hours at Rod's Barbeque Pit), there were only a few objects: a fading poster tacked to the wall, a dusty matress in the corner, a bundle of clothes and a backpack, and a lamp with a crooked shade.The matress had no sheets, just a multicolored crocheted blanket.
My mind wandered back to school again, back to the last day.
"Hey, do you have any chapstick?"
I tossed him the tube."Knock yourself out."
I didn't know this kid.Brown hair, piercing blue eyes. He had come up to me at random.
He sat next to me on the bleachers, drawing his jean jacket tighter around his skinny frame. He cursed underneath his breath."Cold for June, isn't it.."
I nodded halfheartedly."Know when the game's gonna start?" I was unhappy.Stuck at a football game at school. Thankfully it wasn't after hours.. I'd be missing English and Math instead of being held at school against my will.
"No idea."He confessed."Name's Mike."
"Alyssa."I said plainly, shoving my thickframed glasses up the bridge of my nose.
After that we talked a bit about the game and such.He seemed to like a lot of the same bands as I did.In fact, he said he had his own band with his friend, some guy I'd never heard of before.I was mildly interested, not much though.
"Sweet Children,"He said."We play at Gilman a lot."
And all of a sudden he was familar."Oh, you're the bass player.. you guys are good."
The bell rang, and I went on to Physical Ed.
The whole scenario lingered in my mind still, although it had been a few weeks since school.
Gilman.
Gilman.I wanted to go to Gilman. The one place that was a second home for me.
No, I convinced myself.I wanted to get here, out of this town.I was sick of it already.
..But I belong here.
How could I convince myself out of here?
I was torn apart.This city, in a desperate living and Gilman.Or, somewhere new.
A bigger city, a bigger living. A better living.Oakland wasn't big enough.
And drop out? They didn't accept forms right now..
Fuck it all.
I went back to bed, still indescisive.To stay, or not to stay.What drove me to want to get out?
I should forget about it.The music'll wake me up in a few hours...
Guitar chords, raspy voices.Drum solos and bass riffs.
It's the only thing holding me together.
If I moved from here and Gilman, I'd lose my mind.I don't even have any musical talent that would keep me going.
The whole atmosphere here is what I live for.Big town, city streeds crowded but welcoming, music junkies of all kinds, and the occaisional major drug cult or drive by shooting.It was home, no matter how hard it got.
And I had just about had enough.I was about to go crazy. I was locked up in the tenement all day until school started again, for my final year of nothing but hellish torture and academics.
The tenement would've been fine if I had a stereo.The windows were covered with ductape from the multiple break-ins, and in the small lobby, people of all kinds wandered.You'd have to get out of the lobby fast, because if you stayed too long, you would probably get jumped by some weirdo.In the tiny room I rented for a meager $250 (pay from my long hours at Rod's Barbeque Pit), there were only a few objects: a fading poster tacked to the wall, a dusty matress in the corner, a bundle of clothes and a backpack, and a lamp with a crooked shade.The matress had no sheets, just a multicolored crocheted blanket.
My mind wandered back to school again, back to the last day.
"Hey, do you have any chapstick?"
I tossed him the tube."Knock yourself out."
I didn't know this kid.Brown hair, piercing blue eyes. He had come up to me at random.
He sat next to me on the bleachers, drawing his jean jacket tighter around his skinny frame. He cursed underneath his breath."Cold for June, isn't it.."
I nodded halfheartedly."Know when the game's gonna start?" I was unhappy.Stuck at a football game at school. Thankfully it wasn't after hours.. I'd be missing English and Math instead of being held at school against my will.
"No idea."He confessed."Name's Mike."
"Alyssa."I said plainly, shoving my thickframed glasses up the bridge of my nose.
After that we talked a bit about the game and such.He seemed to like a lot of the same bands as I did.In fact, he said he had his own band with his friend, some guy I'd never heard of before.I was mildly interested, not much though.
"Sweet Children,"He said."We play at Gilman a lot."
And all of a sudden he was familar."Oh, you're the bass player.. you guys are good."
The bell rang, and I went on to Physical Ed.
The whole scenario lingered in my mind still, although it had been a few weeks since school.
Gilman.
Gilman.I wanted to go to Gilman. The one place that was a second home for me.
No, I convinced myself.I wanted to get here, out of this town.I was sick of it already.
..But I belong here.
How could I convince myself out of here?
I was torn apart.This city, in a desperate living and Gilman.Or, somewhere new.
A bigger city, a bigger living. A better living.Oakland wasn't big enough.
And drop out? They didn't accept forms right now..
Fuck it all.
I went back to bed, still indescisive.To stay, or not to stay.What drove me to want to get out?
I should forget about it.The music'll wake me up in a few hours...
