Where Will We All Go When It's Too Late, chapter 6
"Lindsay!" I heard Billie running after me. I had already shut the door and fell down at the mattress. I fell again.
Billie opened the door.
"Lindsay, I'm sorry, I didn't--"
"It's okay, nobody can understand me!" I yelled down in the pillow.
Billie sat down beside me and stroke my back carefully.
"I'm so sorry... this is a really bad situation and I don't know what to do..." he whispered.
I was silent and bit my lip. Shit.
"Billie!" I suddenly shouted.
"It's not your fault, I should say sorry..."
"Leave that now, Lindsay. The important thing now is helping you." I guess he waited for an answer, because ha made a pause.
"I don't know how to say this but... but I don't think I can let you live with me... I... I mean, I have a wife and my kids and everything, and---"
"It's not your fault either, I can't just appear and mess up your life. I'm used to being left, it's okay, leave me on the streets."
"You know I won't."
I didn't answer again. I had already made my choice.
It felt so wrong when I got up out of bed that night, ready to escape again. Typically me. Running away from troubles. Even if I sometimes only escaped from them and disappeared in my own mind, drowned in it.
I took my wallet and got my shoes on. Then I carefully opened the door and sneaked out in the room corridor. I breathed. Okay, only get down the stairs unnoticed and then run off.
It felt wrong to do it against Mike, Billie and Tré, but I wrote a letter for them where I told them that I felt so stupid and I was sorry, and thanked them for what they had done.
I went down the stairs as quiet as possible and slipped out in the restaurant. Passed the reception, and out to the door. Yes. Done.
"Lindsay!"
I panted, turned so fast I lost my balance and fell down in a flower bed. I groped for something to pull myself up in.
"Wh-who's there?" I whispered and stared at the total darkness in front of me.
"It's just me, Tré."
I breathed freely. Only Tré.
"What are you doing out here?" he asked and I grabbed the shape of his hand in the darkness and pulled me up.
"Are you okay?"
I brushed the earth from my jeans.
"I'm fine. What are you doing out here?"
"I asked first", said Tré and shrugged his shoulders, and added jokingly
"Are you out for a pot?"
I tittered and boxed him just for fun.
"No, silly."
"What are you doing then?"
"I..." I turned my face away.
"I tried to run off."
I just couldn't lie for Tré. He looked at me in disbelief.
"Why, Lindsay?" He put his arm on my back and carefully pushed me towards the entrance. And I followed him. And I started to cry.
Tré kept on leading me up to the corridor again, and there, outside Billie's suite, Mike and Billie stood.
"Lindsay!" Billie sounded relieved, and went to give me a hug.
My arms were invalid and hung down my sides.
"How did you guys know?" I asked and looked seriously at them.
"We had our ideas", smiled Mike.
"When you broke down we were almost sure that you were gonna run off again. And we were right."
I nodded.
"You were."
"I went out through the window, or I would be forced to pass you and be seen... so, I climbed the wall. Through the window", Tré grinned.
"Sounds like Mission Impossible to me", I muttered, and we all burst out to laughter.
"Where do you wanna spend the rest of this night?" Billie asked.
"Shall we?" He stuck out his arm and made a gesture to his door.
"Thanks", I whispered, waved weak to Tré and Mike and followed Billie in.
Billie opened the door.
"Lindsay, I'm sorry, I didn't--"
"It's okay, nobody can understand me!" I yelled down in the pillow.
Billie sat down beside me and stroke my back carefully.
"I'm so sorry... this is a really bad situation and I don't know what to do..." he whispered.
I was silent and bit my lip. Shit.
"Billie!" I suddenly shouted.
"It's not your fault, I should say sorry..."
"Leave that now, Lindsay. The important thing now is helping you." I guess he waited for an answer, because ha made a pause.
"I don't know how to say this but... but I don't think I can let you live with me... I... I mean, I have a wife and my kids and everything, and---"
"It's not your fault either, I can't just appear and mess up your life. I'm used to being left, it's okay, leave me on the streets."
"You know I won't."
I didn't answer again. I had already made my choice.
It felt so wrong when I got up out of bed that night, ready to escape again. Typically me. Running away from troubles. Even if I sometimes only escaped from them and disappeared in my own mind, drowned in it.
I took my wallet and got my shoes on. Then I carefully opened the door and sneaked out in the room corridor. I breathed. Okay, only get down the stairs unnoticed and then run off.
It felt wrong to do it against Mike, Billie and Tré, but I wrote a letter for them where I told them that I felt so stupid and I was sorry, and thanked them for what they had done.
I went down the stairs as quiet as possible and slipped out in the restaurant. Passed the reception, and out to the door. Yes. Done.
"Lindsay!"
I panted, turned so fast I lost my balance and fell down in a flower bed. I groped for something to pull myself up in.
"Wh-who's there?" I whispered and stared at the total darkness in front of me.
"It's just me, Tré."
I breathed freely. Only Tré.
"What are you doing out here?" he asked and I grabbed the shape of his hand in the darkness and pulled me up.
"Are you okay?"
I brushed the earth from my jeans.
"I'm fine. What are you doing out here?"
"I asked first", said Tré and shrugged his shoulders, and added jokingly
"Are you out for a pot?"
I tittered and boxed him just for fun.
"No, silly."
"What are you doing then?"
"I..." I turned my face away.
"I tried to run off."
I just couldn't lie for Tré. He looked at me in disbelief.
"Why, Lindsay?" He put his arm on my back and carefully pushed me towards the entrance. And I followed him. And I started to cry.
Tré kept on leading me up to the corridor again, and there, outside Billie's suite, Mike and Billie stood.
"Lindsay!" Billie sounded relieved, and went to give me a hug.
My arms were invalid and hung down my sides.
"How did you guys know?" I asked and looked seriously at them.
"We had our ideas", smiled Mike.
"When you broke down we were almost sure that you were gonna run off again. And we were right."
I nodded.
"You were."
"I went out through the window, or I would be forced to pass you and be seen... so, I climbed the wall. Through the window", Tré grinned.
"Sounds like Mission Impossible to me", I muttered, and we all burst out to laughter.
"Where do you wanna spend the rest of this night?" Billie asked.
"Shall we?" He stuck out his arm and made a gesture to his door.
"Thanks", I whispered, waved weak to Tré and Mike and followed Billie in.
