The First Day Of The Rest Of My Life, chapter 2
I didn't bother to change, just followed my broken mother inside. I could tell she was trying to be strong but was inwardly screaming. When she took off her coat and sat down in front of me, what was left of my heart and soul, shattered, there and then just at the sight of her. Her usually thick and static hair lay lank and wilted around her face, which also opened a window into her heart. Her usual, adoring, welcoming, brown eyes held none of their usual comfort and warmth, instead they were distant and lifeless, her beautiful face was now gaunt and her lips thin, even her skin had a greyish tinge. She suddenly looked a lot older and delicate. She put her head in her hands, it was impossible to tell if she was sleeping or sobbing.
A heavy sigh tore my gaze away from my emotionally destroyed mother, towards my elder brother, who was standing by the window gazing out into darkness. His reflection in the glass showed his sunken eyes which were bloodshot from crying. His face held a lifeless expression; he was clutching either side of himself and looked ready to throw up.
I heard a toilet flush, as if from miles away. As Uncle Steve entered the kitchen, everyone looked towards him, framed by the doorway. He motioned wordlessly towards the spare room and left. He didn't want to intrude, or maybe he just didn't want to see or think about his sister in such a state.
When the door closed, Mum's head returned to her shaking hands, and Joseph turned to face the window again.
I looked around the room until my gaze fell upon a photo, from my birthday last year. Everyone was smiling or laughing and Dad was kissing Mums cheek as she smiled, her hand cradling his face. My eyes burn and I look up at the ceiling, blinking, furiously, to keep the tears in, intertwining my fingers and twisting them around. I closed my eyes and rest my forehead on my hands. Emptiness rapidly consuming my body. No one spoke for what must have been hours the only sound was the rain outside which, so, reflected my family's grief. I drifted into what seemed to be a reel of a memory.
"Come on Jakob!" Billie Joe Armstrong yells jokingly at his son.
"You're losing your touch if you can let an old man like me score, if I don't say so myself, such a spectacular... .GOOOOOAAL!" He then pulled his shirt over his head and ran around the yard, arms outstretched, and making aeroplane noises. That's when Tre cool, jumped onto his back from behind and dragged him to the ground, laughing, which sparked a wrestling match of sorts, both men were laughing at their childish behaviour. Mike Dirnt picked up little Jakob Armstrong by the middle and threw him over his shoulder (gently) and ran off. The older Armstrong man stood up suddenly, causing Mr Cool to fall to the ground. Stepping into superman mode, Billie Joe expanded his chest and put both hands on his hips standing at full hight, he yelled, in an exaggerated superhero voice
"Come back with my son, you child stealing fiend!!" Tre snorted from behind him
"Child stealing fiend?" he laughed. Billie Joe shrugged
" It's all I could think of" then returned to face Mike as "superman" he then charged at his best friend and youngest son with one arm outstretched as though he was flying, the small child was laughing manically, Tre Cool was sitting cross legged on the ground watching his two best friends with mild amusement. Mike Dirnt retaliated, also in an exaggerated villain voice
"Come and claim him, Armstrong" Billie Joe snatched at his son and held him close and said childishly and protectively
"Mine!" A bright flash blinded them and they all tuned, the scene, momentarily frozen to see Mrs Adrienne Armstrong, smiling cheekily, and holding a camera. Billie Joe put his son down and smiled lovingly, down at him, ruffled his hair with his hand. The child staring up at his father, also smiling. Another flash went off. The man winked at his son and then ran at his wife, who playfully screamed as he lifted her off the ground by her legs and shoulders and held her in his arms. She giggled as he wiggled his eyebrows at her. She had both arms around his neck, and they smiled at each other. Another flash announced the entrance of the older Armstrong boy. Adrienne blinked a couple of times then smiled she put one of her hands to her head and threw it back and sighed, dramatically
"My hero!" Another flash went off but the two were too absorbed in each other to notice it, Billie Joe, still not breaking eye contact, said softly in an English accent
"My lady" He then leaned down and kissed her, the oldest Armstrong child took another photo and a yell of
"Alright Billie! What a score!!" from Tre interrupted the married couple. Laughing, Billie Joe released his wife's legs and she stood up gracefully, with his arm, still around his wife, everyone walked inside, laughing.
It wasn't until the early hours of the morning that Mum raised her head and cleared her throat. I was shaken from my musings. Silent tears were streaming down my face. I lifted my head and rested my chin on my hands so I could see her, Joseph also turned and gave her his full, undivided attention. Mums voice cracked as she asked if either of us needed anything before bed. She was trying to keep things as normal as usual, But her raspy voice, shaking hands and glassy eyes gave away the fact that today was, anything but normal. Her chair scraped against the tiles as she pushed it back, she buckled as she stood and both Joseph and I hurried forward to support her, but she clutched the table and pushed herself up. She nodded at us both and said in barely a whisper, but we caught every word
"It's ok boys I'm fine" She tried to smile but failed so continued,
"My legs just fell asleep, you should both get to bed, Mike and Tre will be here tomorrow" She pushed us both gently by the small of our backs, towards our bed rooms, then kissed us each on the top of the head and whispered
"Night babies" We obeyed and walked out somewhat reluctantly. As soon as the door closed, I distinctly heard a muffled sob and a cry of pain. I shot a worried look at Joey then slowly creaked the door open. Mums arms were folded on the table and she was unmistakably crying hard into them. I looked at Joey once more who mouthed
"Leave her" then reached across me and quietly shut the door. He retreaded into his room and after a moment I followed suit.
I lay in my bed in the dark, replaying the scene I remembered earlier, over and over in my mind, after what must have been hours; I sat up and turned my light on. I reached a trembling hand to my bedside table where I grasped a picture frame and sat it in my lap I looked down at the two photos, that I always kept close to comfort me when Dad departed on tour and was absent for long periods of time. I never expected the absence to become like this. they were my two favourite photos of me and dad, the first of dad half crouched, clutching me protectively and the other of him with his hand on my head, him looking down at me and me up at him, both smiling. I felt a huge twinge of pain in my heart and I got up and crossed my room and looked up the hallway, to mum and dad's room. The light was still on so I closed my door and walked up towards mum and dads room. I stood in the doorway looking at mum. Her CD player was playing softly, and what looked like every green day CD was scattered on her bed, Kerplunk was open and empty. Mum was surrounded by scattered pictures of her and dad from all points in their life like their wedding and some even dating back to the early 90's. She was sitting cross legged n her bed and a picture frame was in her lap, she was gazing down at it and her hair, hid her face. I knocked softly and she looked up at me, not bothering to wipe the tears that were falling thick and fast down her face.
"Want some company?" she said to me softly as my nose twinged and tears came to my eyes. I nod and she opens up her arms and says sweetly
"Come here baby" I climb blindly onto mum and dads bed and snuggled into her side as her arms enveloped me, kissed the top of my head and held me for what seemed to be an age we silently cried together
She looked down at me
"What you got there sweetie?" she whispered softly. I looked down. I was still holding the pictures. I passed them to her, when she turned it up the right way and looked down it, a few more tears spilled out of her already puffy eyes
"Me too baby" she whispered, passing me the picture frame she was holding and looking at mine
"Me too" she repeated. I looked at her pictures. It was from the same day. Only there were three pictures in her frame. The first, of her acting
"The damsel in distress" and the second, taken merely seconds later as the two shared a kiss and the third, was of her smiling up at dad who was holding her lovingly in his arms, looking down at her, beaming.
"So much love" I thought. I looked up at mum again, tears in both our eyes again. We shared a hug and then Joey walked in. We both looked up at his presence, but didn't release each other, mum smiled at him, but it was not the same smile in the pictures, she whispered to him
"C'mere" and he settled at her other side. A mother with her arms around her two children.
A heavy sigh tore my gaze away from my emotionally destroyed mother, towards my elder brother, who was standing by the window gazing out into darkness. His reflection in the glass showed his sunken eyes which were bloodshot from crying. His face held a lifeless expression; he was clutching either side of himself and looked ready to throw up.
I heard a toilet flush, as if from miles away. As Uncle Steve entered the kitchen, everyone looked towards him, framed by the doorway. He motioned wordlessly towards the spare room and left. He didn't want to intrude, or maybe he just didn't want to see or think about his sister in such a state.
When the door closed, Mum's head returned to her shaking hands, and Joseph turned to face the window again.
I looked around the room until my gaze fell upon a photo, from my birthday last year. Everyone was smiling or laughing and Dad was kissing Mums cheek as she smiled, her hand cradling his face. My eyes burn and I look up at the ceiling, blinking, furiously, to keep the tears in, intertwining my fingers and twisting them around. I closed my eyes and rest my forehead on my hands. Emptiness rapidly consuming my body. No one spoke for what must have been hours the only sound was the rain outside which, so, reflected my family's grief. I drifted into what seemed to be a reel of a memory.
"Come on Jakob!" Billie Joe Armstrong yells jokingly at his son.
"You're losing your touch if you can let an old man like me score, if I don't say so myself, such a spectacular... .GOOOOOAAL!" He then pulled his shirt over his head and ran around the yard, arms outstretched, and making aeroplane noises. That's when Tre cool, jumped onto his back from behind and dragged him to the ground, laughing, which sparked a wrestling match of sorts, both men were laughing at their childish behaviour. Mike Dirnt picked up little Jakob Armstrong by the middle and threw him over his shoulder (gently) and ran off. The older Armstrong man stood up suddenly, causing Mr Cool to fall to the ground. Stepping into superman mode, Billie Joe expanded his chest and put both hands on his hips standing at full hight, he yelled, in an exaggerated superhero voice
"Come back with my son, you child stealing fiend!!" Tre snorted from behind him
"Child stealing fiend?" he laughed. Billie Joe shrugged
" It's all I could think of" then returned to face Mike as "superman" he then charged at his best friend and youngest son with one arm outstretched as though he was flying, the small child was laughing manically, Tre Cool was sitting cross legged on the ground watching his two best friends with mild amusement. Mike Dirnt retaliated, also in an exaggerated villain voice
"Come and claim him, Armstrong" Billie Joe snatched at his son and held him close and said childishly and protectively
"Mine!" A bright flash blinded them and they all tuned, the scene, momentarily frozen to see Mrs Adrienne Armstrong, smiling cheekily, and holding a camera. Billie Joe put his son down and smiled lovingly, down at him, ruffled his hair with his hand. The child staring up at his father, also smiling. Another flash went off. The man winked at his son and then ran at his wife, who playfully screamed as he lifted her off the ground by her legs and shoulders and held her in his arms. She giggled as he wiggled his eyebrows at her. She had both arms around his neck, and they smiled at each other. Another flash announced the entrance of the older Armstrong boy. Adrienne blinked a couple of times then smiled she put one of her hands to her head and threw it back and sighed, dramatically
"My hero!" Another flash went off but the two were too absorbed in each other to notice it, Billie Joe, still not breaking eye contact, said softly in an English accent
"My lady" He then leaned down and kissed her, the oldest Armstrong child took another photo and a yell of
"Alright Billie! What a score!!" from Tre interrupted the married couple. Laughing, Billie Joe released his wife's legs and she stood up gracefully, with his arm, still around his wife, everyone walked inside, laughing.
It wasn't until the early hours of the morning that Mum raised her head and cleared her throat. I was shaken from my musings. Silent tears were streaming down my face. I lifted my head and rested my chin on my hands so I could see her, Joseph also turned and gave her his full, undivided attention. Mums voice cracked as she asked if either of us needed anything before bed. She was trying to keep things as normal as usual, But her raspy voice, shaking hands and glassy eyes gave away the fact that today was, anything but normal. Her chair scraped against the tiles as she pushed it back, she buckled as she stood and both Joseph and I hurried forward to support her, but she clutched the table and pushed herself up. She nodded at us both and said in barely a whisper, but we caught every word
"It's ok boys I'm fine" She tried to smile but failed so continued,
"My legs just fell asleep, you should both get to bed, Mike and Tre will be here tomorrow" She pushed us both gently by the small of our backs, towards our bed rooms, then kissed us each on the top of the head and whispered
"Night babies" We obeyed and walked out somewhat reluctantly. As soon as the door closed, I distinctly heard a muffled sob and a cry of pain. I shot a worried look at Joey then slowly creaked the door open. Mums arms were folded on the table and she was unmistakably crying hard into them. I looked at Joey once more who mouthed
"Leave her" then reached across me and quietly shut the door. He retreaded into his room and after a moment I followed suit.
I lay in my bed in the dark, replaying the scene I remembered earlier, over and over in my mind, after what must have been hours; I sat up and turned my light on. I reached a trembling hand to my bedside table where I grasped a picture frame and sat it in my lap I looked down at the two photos, that I always kept close to comfort me when Dad departed on tour and was absent for long periods of time. I never expected the absence to become like this. they were my two favourite photos of me and dad, the first of dad half crouched, clutching me protectively and the other of him with his hand on my head, him looking down at me and me up at him, both smiling. I felt a huge twinge of pain in my heart and I got up and crossed my room and looked up the hallway, to mum and dad's room. The light was still on so I closed my door and walked up towards mum and dads room. I stood in the doorway looking at mum. Her CD player was playing softly, and what looked like every green day CD was scattered on her bed, Kerplunk was open and empty. Mum was surrounded by scattered pictures of her and dad from all points in their life like their wedding and some even dating back to the early 90's. She was sitting cross legged n her bed and a picture frame was in her lap, she was gazing down at it and her hair, hid her face. I knocked softly and she looked up at me, not bothering to wipe the tears that were falling thick and fast down her face.
"Want some company?" she said to me softly as my nose twinged and tears came to my eyes. I nod and she opens up her arms and says sweetly
"Come here baby" I climb blindly onto mum and dads bed and snuggled into her side as her arms enveloped me, kissed the top of my head and held me for what seemed to be an age we silently cried together
She looked down at me
"What you got there sweetie?" she whispered softly. I looked down. I was still holding the pictures. I passed them to her, when she turned it up the right way and looked down it, a few more tears spilled out of her already puffy eyes
"Me too baby" she whispered, passing me the picture frame she was holding and looking at mine
"Me too" she repeated. I looked at her pictures. It was from the same day. Only there were three pictures in her frame. The first, of her acting
"The damsel in distress" and the second, taken merely seconds later as the two shared a kiss and the third, was of her smiling up at dad who was holding her lovingly in his arms, looking down at her, beaming.
"So much love" I thought. I looked up at mum again, tears in both our eyes again. We shared a hug and then Joey walked in. We both looked up at his presence, but didn't release each other, mum smiled at him, but it was not the same smile in the pictures, she whispered to him
"C'mere" and he settled at her other side. A mother with her arms around her two children.
