The Singer's Dilemma, chapter 7
11:00pm
Kelsey was just about to go to sleep when her cell rang. "Hello?" Kelsey muttered. "Hey! Kelsey, it's me, Adie.....you sound kind of tired, do you want me to call back later?"
"I can talk for a minute, it's ok."
There was a pause then Adrienne said, "Guess what, Kels." The way Adrienne said it, Kelsey could tell it was a good thing.
"What?"
"Only three months left of touring! Isn't that great? I'll get to spend more alone time with Billie Joe.." she giggled. Kelsey felt sick.
"I know what you mean... well I have to go, bye." Kelsey hung up before Adrienne could say good-bye. She wished she could go back fourteen years. She would never have left Billie Joe. She would be the one that was happy that there was only three months left of touring. She could be in his arms now. One chose had ruined her life. And even made her think if she still wanted to be alive. She hated the pain. She was so sick of crying.
Kelsey sighed and wiped the tears from her face. "Don't feel bad for yourself, Kelsey. This is your fault. All your fault," she said aloud.
"Mom, are you ok?" Kelsey looked up. Nicole was standing in front of her holding the kitten.
"I'm fine. Get back to bed, you have school tomorrow." Nicole looked at her mother. She didn't believe Kelsey, but went upstairs inside her room.
The next morning
"Nicole, the bus is here!" Kelsey yelled. Nicole came running down the stairs.
"Ok, bye mom, I love you," Nicole said and then rushed out the door. It was 8:00am. Kelsey remembered the mess of clothes Nicole had in her room.
"She won't care if I clean up a little bit," Kelsey thought while heading up to Nicole's room. On Nicole's bed was her journal. Kind of like a diary that Nicole kept, but with no lock. Kelsey was surprised it was on her bed because usually she hid it. Kelsey wasn't going to read it. But then curiosity got the best of her and she picked the journal and opened it to the latest entry. It was dated the 24th. Yesterday.
Dear Diary,
I just went downstairs. My mom was crying but she wouldn't tell me why. She said she was fine, but I'm not that stupid. I saw cuts on her arms earlier, but I said nothing about it. I wonder if that was the right thing to do. She's been like this ever since she got back from her trip to see Billie Joe. Billie Joe, my dad. That sounds so weird. To me at least. He has a wife and two kids. He probably forgot about me. He might as well. I hate him for moving on. I hate him. I hate him! Why the fuck did he leave? Well I know my mom left, but he didn't stop her! He didn't love her! He made her cry...I wonder what the song Whatsername is really about.. Sounds like it could be about my mom.
xoxox,
Nicole
Kelsey closed the book. "I ruined my life...and my daughter's," Kelsey thought and started to cry.
She's all alone again
wiping the tears from her eyes...
Kelsey was just about to go to sleep when her cell rang. "Hello?" Kelsey muttered. "Hey! Kelsey, it's me, Adie.....you sound kind of tired, do you want me to call back later?"
"I can talk for a minute, it's ok."
There was a pause then Adrienne said, "Guess what, Kels." The way Adrienne said it, Kelsey could tell it was a good thing.
"What?"
"Only three months left of touring! Isn't that great? I'll get to spend more alone time with Billie Joe.." she giggled. Kelsey felt sick.
"I know what you mean... well I have to go, bye." Kelsey hung up before Adrienne could say good-bye. She wished she could go back fourteen years. She would never have left Billie Joe. She would be the one that was happy that there was only three months left of touring. She could be in his arms now. One chose had ruined her life. And even made her think if she still wanted to be alive. She hated the pain. She was so sick of crying.
Kelsey sighed and wiped the tears from her face. "Don't feel bad for yourself, Kelsey. This is your fault. All your fault," she said aloud.
"Mom, are you ok?" Kelsey looked up. Nicole was standing in front of her holding the kitten.
"I'm fine. Get back to bed, you have school tomorrow." Nicole looked at her mother. She didn't believe Kelsey, but went upstairs inside her room.
The next morning
"Nicole, the bus is here!" Kelsey yelled. Nicole came running down the stairs.
"Ok, bye mom, I love you," Nicole said and then rushed out the door. It was 8:00am. Kelsey remembered the mess of clothes Nicole had in her room.
"She won't care if I clean up a little bit," Kelsey thought while heading up to Nicole's room. On Nicole's bed was her journal. Kind of like a diary that Nicole kept, but with no lock. Kelsey was surprised it was on her bed because usually she hid it. Kelsey wasn't going to read it. But then curiosity got the best of her and she picked the journal and opened it to the latest entry. It was dated the 24th. Yesterday.
Dear Diary,
I just went downstairs. My mom was crying but she wouldn't tell me why. She said she was fine, but I'm not that stupid. I saw cuts on her arms earlier, but I said nothing about it. I wonder if that was the right thing to do. She's been like this ever since she got back from her trip to see Billie Joe. Billie Joe, my dad. That sounds so weird. To me at least. He has a wife and two kids. He probably forgot about me. He might as well. I hate him for moving on. I hate him. I hate him! Why the fuck did he leave? Well I know my mom left, but he didn't stop her! He didn't love her! He made her cry...I wonder what the song Whatsername is really about.. Sounds like it could be about my mom.
xoxox,
Nicole
Kelsey closed the book. "I ruined my life...and my daughter's," Kelsey thought and started to cry.
She's all alone again
wiping the tears from her eyes...
