Call It What You Like - I Don't Care, chapter 11
Bella's P. O. V
"The wheels on the car go 'round and 'round, 'round and 'rou... "
"MIKE! Shut the hell up!" I shouted as I pressed send on my cell phone; he'd been singing that song for the past 7 and a half minutes.
Yep, that's right, I had been counting how long I had been away from Billie Joe's place.
A moment later I got a text message back:
No I'm not going out 2 get drunk, I'm following u coz I don't want u 2 go back 2 ur family, I don't want u 2 go through that again.
When I read this I felt a bit of guilt and regret for what I was doing Mike and Billie Joe were right; my parents were going to beat the shit out of me and I knew deep down that Billie Joe really did like me...
But my problem was; I liked both of them. It was just so much easier if I ran away from it all.
The same as always... Run away from all my problems.
I texted back to him:
R U TRYING 2 MAKE ME FEEL GUILTY?
About two minutes later I got a message back... And I must confess, it did make me want to jump out of the car and run back to him and strangle him for making this so damn frustrating.
=D
I replied straight away:
Well that's nice, NOW STOP FOLLOWING US! U CANT MAKE ME CHANGE MY MIND!
I turned off my phone and rested my head against the window. Now I felt REALLY guilty.
"The wheels on the car go... "
"SHUT UP!"
***
We drove up my grandmothers drive way and parked out the front of the house.
"Thanks Mike... " He cut me off.
"I'm gonna call you all the time and I'm definitely gonna make you come and visit." He said to me before opening the door on my side for me and helping me out of the car.
"Ok Mike, I'll come and visit you as long as I don't have to be alone with Tre and Billie Joe together... Do you want to come in and have a cup of coffee or anything?" I asked him as he handed me my bag that I had taken on the plane.
"Yeah, actually, that would be fucking awesome," He replied.
We walked in through the front door and into the kitchen to see something they neither of us had even slightly suspected.
"Adie!?" asked Mike in disbelief.
"Hi Mike," she greeted him with a warm smile and a hug. "Haven't seen you in a while, how have you been? I'll make some coffee for you."
She walked over to the bench and grabbed a few coffee mugs.
"I've been pretty alright but that's not important. What are you doing here?" Mike asked, still confused as to why she was there.
"Well, since the divorce," she started as she began pouring cups of coffee, "I've been having a break from Adeline, and because I've had nothing much to do I've been volunteering to help look after people who need help so I'm here looking after Mrs. Cruiser," she said with a smile.
Damn, I was amazed that she could stay in a room with this woman for more than a minute alone without wanting to jump in front of a semi-trailer.
"Oh... " that was all I could think of to say.
"So how do you to know each other?" Adie asked us as she handed out cups of coffee.
"Um... It's a long story but Bella got into a slight disagreement with Billie and Tre and doesn't really want to stay around and fight," Mike explained.
Adie gave an understanding nod, as though she knew exactly what Mike meant. "Yeah, I heard something on the radio about a fight at the concert in Connecticut."
"Yeah, well, fights happen, they'll get over it, it might just take a while." He looked at me as he said this last bit and I looked down knowing that he needed me to come back and sort things out.
But I wasn't just going to give in like that... I meant it when I said I was leaving. I wasn't going back there for a long time... All I ever did was make things worse.
Mike continued to look at me with pleading eyes, not paying attention to Adie who was standing there looking slowly between me and Mike. There was something in her eyes that told me she knew exactly what Mike was looking at me for.
After a moment of silence grandma decided to speak up, "Oi, you kids, are we gonna have a staring contest or are we gonna drink some bloody coffee?"
Adie handed her a cup of coffee and rolled her eyes at me and Mike as we all sat down around the table and started talking about nothing of importance for the next half hour. A few times Mike tried to convince me to just come back and make up with Tre and Billie but I meant what I said.
"Oh well, I should get going," Mike said, throwing me a pissed off and disappointed look.
"Have a safe trip," I said lamely from where I was sitting, I was starting to regret this but I wasn't going back there. I wouldn't be able to handle it.
"See ya Mikey," Adie said standing up and giving him a friendly hug. She lent in toward his ear and whispered something that I couldn't hear.
I decided a little bit of common courtesy couldn't hurt, I stood up and gave Mike a small hug and told him that I would see him one day.
Mike walked out the door and got in his car, a few minutes later we heard him pull out of the driveway.
It was then that it dawned on me that I was staying in a house with Billie Joe's ex wife, and I had a sneaking suspicion that she knew exactly what was going on.
I carried my bags up stairs and dumped them in the room that I usually stayed in and started unpacking.
For some reason I couldn't make myself feel comfortable in this room, it didn't feel right. I brushed off the feeling and went don stairs for something to eat.
I walked into the kitchen to see my grandmother having a go at Adie for over cooking the chicken... If you asked me it still looked raw...
"Hey Bella," Adie said to me, cutting off my grandmother. At least Adie wasn't a bitch. "Want some chicken or anything?"
"Yeah thanks Adie," I said as she handed me a plate with a piece of chicken and a side salad. Yeah, my grandmother was a health freak.
"Bellatrix," Grandma started as I sat down at the table, "Why were you off with that man instead of here?" she asked me, "What were you doing?"
Damn this was going to be awkward. "He's just a friend of mine," I replied, not looking up from my plate.
"Did your mother say that you could go there? I thought you were just coming straight here."
"No... I was allowed to go there, I tried to ring you to tell you but the phone was engaged every time I tried."
Grandma just shrugged and went back to eating; at least she wasn't being a bitch yet.
After I finished eating I went upstairs straight away. This sucked. I wanted to be with Billie Joe right now. I like Tre but just not the same way as I like Billie Joe.
Well, glad I figured that one out... Would have been slightly more convenient about 4 hours ago.
I heard a knock on my door followed by Adie's soft voice asking if she could come in.
"Yeah whatever!" I called into the pillow I had my head buried in. I heard the door open and then shut and then felt the bed sink down next to me.
"Bella, you can tell me what happened if you like... I might even be able to help."
I don't know why but she just seemed like a person I could trust. She was pretty nice to me considering I was pretty sure she knew who I had been staying with.
I told here everything about what had happened since just before I left for the airport that fateful day. (god that sounded lame)
For a while she as just silent; I knew that she thought what I did was wrong but I told her that it was Billie Joe that I liked.
During the awkward silence I picked up my cell phone and turned it back on. As soon as I did I regretted it.
I had 2 new messages. The first was from Tre:
I'm sorry about wat I did, I'm sorry for doing that 2 u... I do like u, just not like that... Sorry...
Btw BJ talked to me, it wasn't much of a convo but at least we rnt beatin the shit out of eachother anymore... He REALLY misses u already... Where r u anyway?
Adie stood up and walked to the door, "I'll give you some privacy," she muttered.
I went into the next message, which was from Billie Joe... Oh happy joy:
I'm sorry, Tre and I kinda made up... He told me wat he just texted 2 u... I really do miss u...
I need u bak here... I really like u... And I thought u liked me 2... I was going to ask u out but u had 2 go and leave... U know wat?... FUCK YOU... U were a slut... U just thought coz we both had failed marriages that we were losers and that u could just play us like that... Fuck u bella... I thought I liked u but in truth... Ur just a self absorbed bitch
Damn... He changes his mind pretty quickly...
I felt the tears well up in my eyes ONCE AGAIN. I held them back though; I wasn't going to cry again...
I texted back to him:
I didnt mean 2 do anything like that... I didnt know u liked me like that... I'M SO SORRY!
I sat on my bed waiting for his reply and only just managing to hold back the tears as I feared his reply...
I figured after 20 minutes or so that he wasn't going to reply so I went down stairs into the lounge room to watch some TV with Adie and Grandma. After a while of watching some boring soap opera shit I heard my phone belt out the opening lines of Jesus of Suburbia...
I ran upstairs and picked up the phone without checking the caller ID.
"Hello?" I asked. There was a lot of noise in the background.
"You... " Billie Joe's slurred voice came through the phone. "You're a fucking bitch."
"Billie Joe, are you drunk?"
"That's not your business anyway... Stupid bitch...."
"Billie, I don't want to talk to you when you're like this."
"Why not? It's *Hiccup* not any different."
"Yes it is Billie, you don't know what you're talking about when your drunk... Remember at Tre's?"
"Yeah I remember... But it's not like that... I'm only a little bit drunk."
"Well why does your voice sound so funny and why are you hiccuping?"
There was silence on the other end for a moment... "Billie, are you still there?"
"I've been... " Obviously he didn't want to tell me what was wrong... But I wanted to know so I kept pestering him. "I really miss you... "
Um... Ok... "That doesn't explain your voice and why you sound drunk."
"If it makes you so happy to know... I do like you... "
"Billie, are you crying?"
There was silence on the other end until I heard Billie very quietly say, "Yeah."
Oh my god... He was crying... Because of me... You would not BELIEVE how bad I feel now.
"I've been holding it in since I saw you kiss Tre. As soon as you left I couldn't help it. Right now I'm working on drowning everything out with alcohol."
"Billie, getting drunk isn't gonna help." I tried to reason with him. Drunk is never good.
"DON'T FUCKING TRY AND TELL ME WHAT TO DO!" He all of a sudden snapped at me, "I DON'T CARE WHAT YOU THINK ANYMORE... I HAVEN'T KNOWN YOU FOR EVEN A MONTH AND YOU ALREADY CHEATED ON ME AND LEFT! EVERYONE THINKS IT'S ME WHO SCREWS EVERYTHING UP BUT ITS FUCKING NOT! ADIE WAS THE ONE WHO LEFT ME BECAUSE SHE DIDN'T TRUST ME WHEN I WAS AWAY! IT WAS HER ANYWAY... SHE WAS THE ONE WHO FUCKING CHEATED ON ME! I WOULD NEVER CHEAT ON ANYONE... AND THEN I FIND SOME ONE ELSE AND THEY CHEAT ON ME WITH MY BEST FRIEND WHO DOESN'T EVEN LIKE THEM THAT MUCH ANYWAY!
I'M NOT THE ONE AT FAULT, I'M JUST REALLY UNLUCKY AND MISUNDERSTOOD, I have the shittiest love life in the world and everyone thinks it's my fault," he had suddenly changed from shouting to whispering, "Bella I have to tell you this; I... " the phone clattered to the floor.
Oh shit... Oh shit oh shit oh shit OH SHIT!
He was having a panic attack... I hope some one is there to help him. I listened carefully and heard some one yell something out.
"Hello?" some one had picked up the phone.
"What's wrong with Billie Joe?!" I demanded.
"Don't worry, he's having a panic attack but he'll be fine. I'll get him to ring you back in a few minutes 'kay?"
"Ok, thanks so much." I hung up the phone and sat it down on the bedside table.
I sat down on the bed and closed my eyes trying to process all the shit he just threw at me... I can't believe that Adie would just leave him like that when he didn't even do anything.
I felt so sorry for him... I wanted to go back already.
But I knew he wouldn't want me back there.
He hated me now... He even said it... It was my fault; I broke his heart for no reason and made myself lonely in the process.
* nuh nuh nuh I'm the son of Rage and Lo... *
I quickly grabbed my phone, checked the caller ID and answered it.
"Billie Joe are you ok?" I asked quickly before he could say anything.
"I've been better."
"I'm sorr... "
"No you're not."
"Billie... "
"No Bella, that's what people always say... That's what Adie said but she left me anyway."
"Billie Joe, I mean it, you wouldn't believe how bad I feel."
"I don't care. I'll just be lonely for the rest of my life... I feel like I can't trust anyone."
"Billie stop being such an emo... You're not gonna be lonely forever."
"Well no one cares about me enough not to go snogging my best friend behind my back."
"Billie... I do like you, it's just that... "
"WELL YOU HAVE A FUCKING SHIT WAY OF SHOWING IT."
"I'm sorry Billie... I really mean it... Please can you just give me another chance?"
"Well I cant really 'cause you went and left me... I'll talk to you some other time." And with that he hung up on me.
Well screw him...
Adie knocked on the door. "COME IN." I yelled into the pillow that I had now decided my face would be inhabiting for the rest of my life.
"Bella, are you okay?" Ignore that... What the hell does it look like smart ass. "Were you talking to Billie?" she asked as she sat down on the edge of my bed.
"Yes." I mumbled into the pillow, "He hates me anyway." I added.
Adie sighed, "What did he say to you?"
"He was crying. He yelled something about everything not being his fault even though everyone thinks it is... That you never trusted him and that I was a bitch and a slut to him when he thought he liked me. He also said something about he really liked me and was gonna ask me out but I cheated on him... Like you did. He said that he could have to be lonely for the rest of his life because he couldn't trust anyone and he said that he was just in the middle of getting drunk and that he had to tell me something, then he had a panic attack." I recalled with no emotion what so ever.
Adie seemed slightly offended by how blunt I had been but she couldn't deny any of it. "He doesn't hate you... I think he really likes you actually... I hate to tell you this but I think you should go back."
My head shot up from the pillow and I turned to face her, "No fucking way in hell!"
"Why not? You should make up with him. I can tell he really likes you... He's known you for less than a month and he's crying 'cause you left him... Of course he likes you... Billie Joe doesn't cry."
I had to admit; that was a good point.
"Just call him back tomorrow and give him another chance." She advised as I out my head back down face first on the pillow.
"Whatever... "
***
"Morning Grandma," I greeted her as I dragged myself into the kitchen 3 days later I had been up almost all night every night since I had talked to Billie Joe. I'd estimate about 5 hours sleep maximum.
That's if I bothered to call him. He didn't seem like he wanted to talk to me but Adie said I should ring him back and she was a genuinely nice person so I decided to take her advice.
I poured myself a bowl of cereal and sat down at the table to eat.
Adie walked into the room and went to make some coffee. "Why are you up so late? I want my breakfast." My grandmother demanded of her.
Adie sighed and put down her coffee mug, "I accidentally slept in," she said bluntly as she poured a bowl of cereal for grandma and sat it in front of her. She then continued making coffee for all of us.
"Hey Bella, can I talk to you for a second?" Adie asked me once we had finished our breakfast.
"Yeah, sure," I responded as I somehow managed to heave myself out of my chair and stumble into the room where Adie was staying.
We sat down on her bed and she turned to face me. "Are you going to call Billie or not? I was talking to him last night just before he rang you and he really likes you... You have to go back."
"Why?" I asked rudely, "It's not like he's going to die without me; he can find some one else."
Adie sighed and looked at me pathetically. "If that's what you think go ahead and waste the chance of having an awesome guy... Trust me, I've known Billie for way longer than you and cheating on him was the biggest mistake I've ever made."
She stood up and walked out of the room, leaving me to think about what she had just said.
***
By 1 a. M. The next morning my mind was set...
I was going back...
"The wheels on the car go 'round and 'round, 'round and 'rou... "
"MIKE! Shut the hell up!" I shouted as I pressed send on my cell phone; he'd been singing that song for the past 7 and a half minutes.
Yep, that's right, I had been counting how long I had been away from Billie Joe's place.
A moment later I got a text message back:
No I'm not going out 2 get drunk, I'm following u coz I don't want u 2 go back 2 ur family, I don't want u 2 go through that again.
When I read this I felt a bit of guilt and regret for what I was doing Mike and Billie Joe were right; my parents were going to beat the shit out of me and I knew deep down that Billie Joe really did like me...
But my problem was; I liked both of them. It was just so much easier if I ran away from it all.
The same as always... Run away from all my problems.
I texted back to him:
R U TRYING 2 MAKE ME FEEL GUILTY?
About two minutes later I got a message back... And I must confess, it did make me want to jump out of the car and run back to him and strangle him for making this so damn frustrating.
=D
I replied straight away:
Well that's nice, NOW STOP FOLLOWING US! U CANT MAKE ME CHANGE MY MIND!
I turned off my phone and rested my head against the window. Now I felt REALLY guilty.
"The wheels on the car go... "
"SHUT UP!"
***
We drove up my grandmothers drive way and parked out the front of the house.
"Thanks Mike... " He cut me off.
"I'm gonna call you all the time and I'm definitely gonna make you come and visit." He said to me before opening the door on my side for me and helping me out of the car.
"Ok Mike, I'll come and visit you as long as I don't have to be alone with Tre and Billie Joe together... Do you want to come in and have a cup of coffee or anything?" I asked him as he handed me my bag that I had taken on the plane.
"Yeah, actually, that would be fucking awesome," He replied.
We walked in through the front door and into the kitchen to see something they neither of us had even slightly suspected.
"Adie!?" asked Mike in disbelief.
"Hi Mike," she greeted him with a warm smile and a hug. "Haven't seen you in a while, how have you been? I'll make some coffee for you."
She walked over to the bench and grabbed a few coffee mugs.
"I've been pretty alright but that's not important. What are you doing here?" Mike asked, still confused as to why she was there.
"Well, since the divorce," she started as she began pouring cups of coffee, "I've been having a break from Adeline, and because I've had nothing much to do I've been volunteering to help look after people who need help so I'm here looking after Mrs. Cruiser," she said with a smile.
Damn, I was amazed that she could stay in a room with this woman for more than a minute alone without wanting to jump in front of a semi-trailer.
"Oh... " that was all I could think of to say.
"So how do you to know each other?" Adie asked us as she handed out cups of coffee.
"Um... It's a long story but Bella got into a slight disagreement with Billie and Tre and doesn't really want to stay around and fight," Mike explained.
Adie gave an understanding nod, as though she knew exactly what Mike meant. "Yeah, I heard something on the radio about a fight at the concert in Connecticut."
"Yeah, well, fights happen, they'll get over it, it might just take a while." He looked at me as he said this last bit and I looked down knowing that he needed me to come back and sort things out.
But I wasn't just going to give in like that... I meant it when I said I was leaving. I wasn't going back there for a long time... All I ever did was make things worse.
Mike continued to look at me with pleading eyes, not paying attention to Adie who was standing there looking slowly between me and Mike. There was something in her eyes that told me she knew exactly what Mike was looking at me for.
After a moment of silence grandma decided to speak up, "Oi, you kids, are we gonna have a staring contest or are we gonna drink some bloody coffee?"
Adie handed her a cup of coffee and rolled her eyes at me and Mike as we all sat down around the table and started talking about nothing of importance for the next half hour. A few times Mike tried to convince me to just come back and make up with Tre and Billie but I meant what I said.
"Oh well, I should get going," Mike said, throwing me a pissed off and disappointed look.
"Have a safe trip," I said lamely from where I was sitting, I was starting to regret this but I wasn't going back there. I wouldn't be able to handle it.
"See ya Mikey," Adie said standing up and giving him a friendly hug. She lent in toward his ear and whispered something that I couldn't hear.
I decided a little bit of common courtesy couldn't hurt, I stood up and gave Mike a small hug and told him that I would see him one day.
Mike walked out the door and got in his car, a few minutes later we heard him pull out of the driveway.
It was then that it dawned on me that I was staying in a house with Billie Joe's ex wife, and I had a sneaking suspicion that she knew exactly what was going on.
I carried my bags up stairs and dumped them in the room that I usually stayed in and started unpacking.
For some reason I couldn't make myself feel comfortable in this room, it didn't feel right. I brushed off the feeling and went don stairs for something to eat.
I walked into the kitchen to see my grandmother having a go at Adie for over cooking the chicken... If you asked me it still looked raw...
"Hey Bella," Adie said to me, cutting off my grandmother. At least Adie wasn't a bitch. "Want some chicken or anything?"
"Yeah thanks Adie," I said as she handed me a plate with a piece of chicken and a side salad. Yeah, my grandmother was a health freak.
"Bellatrix," Grandma started as I sat down at the table, "Why were you off with that man instead of here?" she asked me, "What were you doing?"
Damn this was going to be awkward. "He's just a friend of mine," I replied, not looking up from my plate.
"Did your mother say that you could go there? I thought you were just coming straight here."
"No... I was allowed to go there, I tried to ring you to tell you but the phone was engaged every time I tried."
Grandma just shrugged and went back to eating; at least she wasn't being a bitch yet.
After I finished eating I went upstairs straight away. This sucked. I wanted to be with Billie Joe right now. I like Tre but just not the same way as I like Billie Joe.
Well, glad I figured that one out... Would have been slightly more convenient about 4 hours ago.
I heard a knock on my door followed by Adie's soft voice asking if she could come in.
"Yeah whatever!" I called into the pillow I had my head buried in. I heard the door open and then shut and then felt the bed sink down next to me.
"Bella, you can tell me what happened if you like... I might even be able to help."
I don't know why but she just seemed like a person I could trust. She was pretty nice to me considering I was pretty sure she knew who I had been staying with.
I told here everything about what had happened since just before I left for the airport that fateful day. (god that sounded lame)
For a while she as just silent; I knew that she thought what I did was wrong but I told her that it was Billie Joe that I liked.
During the awkward silence I picked up my cell phone and turned it back on. As soon as I did I regretted it.
I had 2 new messages. The first was from Tre:
I'm sorry about wat I did, I'm sorry for doing that 2 u... I do like u, just not like that... Sorry...
Btw BJ talked to me, it wasn't much of a convo but at least we rnt beatin the shit out of eachother anymore... He REALLY misses u already... Where r u anyway?
Adie stood up and walked to the door, "I'll give you some privacy," she muttered.
I went into the next message, which was from Billie Joe... Oh happy joy:
I'm sorry, Tre and I kinda made up... He told me wat he just texted 2 u... I really do miss u...
I need u bak here... I really like u... And I thought u liked me 2... I was going to ask u out but u had 2 go and leave... U know wat?... FUCK YOU... U were a slut... U just thought coz we both had failed marriages that we were losers and that u could just play us like that... Fuck u bella... I thought I liked u but in truth... Ur just a self absorbed bitch
Damn... He changes his mind pretty quickly...
I felt the tears well up in my eyes ONCE AGAIN. I held them back though; I wasn't going to cry again...
I texted back to him:
I didnt mean 2 do anything like that... I didnt know u liked me like that... I'M SO SORRY!
I sat on my bed waiting for his reply and only just managing to hold back the tears as I feared his reply...
I figured after 20 minutes or so that he wasn't going to reply so I went down stairs into the lounge room to watch some TV with Adie and Grandma. After a while of watching some boring soap opera shit I heard my phone belt out the opening lines of Jesus of Suburbia...
I ran upstairs and picked up the phone without checking the caller ID.
"Hello?" I asked. There was a lot of noise in the background.
"You... " Billie Joe's slurred voice came through the phone. "You're a fucking bitch."
"Billie Joe, are you drunk?"
"That's not your business anyway... Stupid bitch...."
"Billie, I don't want to talk to you when you're like this."
"Why not? It's *Hiccup* not any different."
"Yes it is Billie, you don't know what you're talking about when your drunk... Remember at Tre's?"
"Yeah I remember... But it's not like that... I'm only a little bit drunk."
"Well why does your voice sound so funny and why are you hiccuping?"
There was silence on the other end for a moment... "Billie, are you still there?"
"I've been... " Obviously he didn't want to tell me what was wrong... But I wanted to know so I kept pestering him. "I really miss you... "
Um... Ok... "That doesn't explain your voice and why you sound drunk."
"If it makes you so happy to know... I do like you... "
"Billie, are you crying?"
There was silence on the other end until I heard Billie very quietly say, "Yeah."
Oh my god... He was crying... Because of me... You would not BELIEVE how bad I feel now.
"I've been holding it in since I saw you kiss Tre. As soon as you left I couldn't help it. Right now I'm working on drowning everything out with alcohol."
"Billie, getting drunk isn't gonna help." I tried to reason with him. Drunk is never good.
"DON'T FUCKING TRY AND TELL ME WHAT TO DO!" He all of a sudden snapped at me, "I DON'T CARE WHAT YOU THINK ANYMORE... I HAVEN'T KNOWN YOU FOR EVEN A MONTH AND YOU ALREADY CHEATED ON ME AND LEFT! EVERYONE THINKS IT'S ME WHO SCREWS EVERYTHING UP BUT ITS FUCKING NOT! ADIE WAS THE ONE WHO LEFT ME BECAUSE SHE DIDN'T TRUST ME WHEN I WAS AWAY! IT WAS HER ANYWAY... SHE WAS THE ONE WHO FUCKING CHEATED ON ME! I WOULD NEVER CHEAT ON ANYONE... AND THEN I FIND SOME ONE ELSE AND THEY CHEAT ON ME WITH MY BEST FRIEND WHO DOESN'T EVEN LIKE THEM THAT MUCH ANYWAY!
I'M NOT THE ONE AT FAULT, I'M JUST REALLY UNLUCKY AND MISUNDERSTOOD, I have the shittiest love life in the world and everyone thinks it's my fault," he had suddenly changed from shouting to whispering, "Bella I have to tell you this; I... " the phone clattered to the floor.
Oh shit... Oh shit oh shit oh shit OH SHIT!
He was having a panic attack... I hope some one is there to help him. I listened carefully and heard some one yell something out.
"Hello?" some one had picked up the phone.
"What's wrong with Billie Joe?!" I demanded.
"Don't worry, he's having a panic attack but he'll be fine. I'll get him to ring you back in a few minutes 'kay?"
"Ok, thanks so much." I hung up the phone and sat it down on the bedside table.
I sat down on the bed and closed my eyes trying to process all the shit he just threw at me... I can't believe that Adie would just leave him like that when he didn't even do anything.
I felt so sorry for him... I wanted to go back already.
But I knew he wouldn't want me back there.
He hated me now... He even said it... It was my fault; I broke his heart for no reason and made myself lonely in the process.
* nuh nuh nuh I'm the son of Rage and Lo... *
I quickly grabbed my phone, checked the caller ID and answered it.
"Billie Joe are you ok?" I asked quickly before he could say anything.
"I've been better."
"I'm sorr... "
"No you're not."
"Billie... "
"No Bella, that's what people always say... That's what Adie said but she left me anyway."
"Billie Joe, I mean it, you wouldn't believe how bad I feel."
"I don't care. I'll just be lonely for the rest of my life... I feel like I can't trust anyone."
"Billie stop being such an emo... You're not gonna be lonely forever."
"Well no one cares about me enough not to go snogging my best friend behind my back."
"Billie... I do like you, it's just that... "
"WELL YOU HAVE A FUCKING SHIT WAY OF SHOWING IT."
"I'm sorry Billie... I really mean it... Please can you just give me another chance?"
"Well I cant really 'cause you went and left me... I'll talk to you some other time." And with that he hung up on me.
Well screw him...
Adie knocked on the door. "COME IN." I yelled into the pillow that I had now decided my face would be inhabiting for the rest of my life.
"Bella, are you okay?" Ignore that... What the hell does it look like smart ass. "Were you talking to Billie?" she asked as she sat down on the edge of my bed.
"Yes." I mumbled into the pillow, "He hates me anyway." I added.
Adie sighed, "What did he say to you?"
"He was crying. He yelled something about everything not being his fault even though everyone thinks it is... That you never trusted him and that I was a bitch and a slut to him when he thought he liked me. He also said something about he really liked me and was gonna ask me out but I cheated on him... Like you did. He said that he could have to be lonely for the rest of his life because he couldn't trust anyone and he said that he was just in the middle of getting drunk and that he had to tell me something, then he had a panic attack." I recalled with no emotion what so ever.
Adie seemed slightly offended by how blunt I had been but she couldn't deny any of it. "He doesn't hate you... I think he really likes you actually... I hate to tell you this but I think you should go back."
My head shot up from the pillow and I turned to face her, "No fucking way in hell!"
"Why not? You should make up with him. I can tell he really likes you... He's known you for less than a month and he's crying 'cause you left him... Of course he likes you... Billie Joe doesn't cry."
I had to admit; that was a good point.
"Just call him back tomorrow and give him another chance." She advised as I out my head back down face first on the pillow.
"Whatever... "
***
"Morning Grandma," I greeted her as I dragged myself into the kitchen 3 days later I had been up almost all night every night since I had talked to Billie Joe. I'd estimate about 5 hours sleep maximum.
That's if I bothered to call him. He didn't seem like he wanted to talk to me but Adie said I should ring him back and she was a genuinely nice person so I decided to take her advice.
I poured myself a bowl of cereal and sat down at the table to eat.
Adie walked into the room and went to make some coffee. "Why are you up so late? I want my breakfast." My grandmother demanded of her.
Adie sighed and put down her coffee mug, "I accidentally slept in," she said bluntly as she poured a bowl of cereal for grandma and sat it in front of her. She then continued making coffee for all of us.
"Hey Bella, can I talk to you for a second?" Adie asked me once we had finished our breakfast.
"Yeah, sure," I responded as I somehow managed to heave myself out of my chair and stumble into the room where Adie was staying.
We sat down on her bed and she turned to face me. "Are you going to call Billie or not? I was talking to him last night just before he rang you and he really likes you... You have to go back."
"Why?" I asked rudely, "It's not like he's going to die without me; he can find some one else."
Adie sighed and looked at me pathetically. "If that's what you think go ahead and waste the chance of having an awesome guy... Trust me, I've known Billie for way longer than you and cheating on him was the biggest mistake I've ever made."
She stood up and walked out of the room, leaving me to think about what she had just said.
***
By 1 a. M. The next morning my mind was set...
I was going back...
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