A Taste For Suicidal, chapter 5
The street lights passed over my pale face as I rode in the back seat of Mike's car next to Frankito. He was taking us home. Neither one of us had said anything since he decided that it would be best to take us home that night.
Chances were he would probably explain everything to our parents. I wasn't really looking forward to my family discovering what I had been hidding, that's why I hid it in the first place. There was no telling what my father would do if he found out.
The silence continued for a few more blocks. Eventually, Mike grew so uncomfortable that it forced him to turn on the radio. Basket Case had just been finishing up. Then one of my favorite songs came on.
"Cut my life into pieces, this is my last resort."
Papa Roach was one of my favorite bands, next to my father's, so I listened intently. The lyrics seemed to add to the irony and in a way it was funny. I think Frankito caught it too, because I heard him laugh.
"Would it be wrong or would it be right, if I took my life tonight? Chances are dynomite..."
"Okay well that's enough of that." Mike sighed, turning off the radio.
"Oh come on." I said.
"That's the last thing your parents and I need, you two killing yourselves because some stupid song provoked you..." he replied.
"Mike-"
"Hey, would you look at that. It's Billie Joe." he interupted.
I looked out the window and saw my father's car parked on the side of the street. Suddenly I realized that it was Frankito's street. My father was most likely inside talking with Tre about us, and Tre was probably too drunk to understand a word he was saying. Yeah... My life wasn't messed up.
I got out of the car and slowly made my way to the front door. Frankito seemed very nervous, I even thought he was going to make a run for it, but he kept on walking despite himself. When we got inside the house was a little crowded.
"Joseph!" my mother cried. "Where the hell did you go?"
"I left because dad is an asshole." I replied flatly.
She bit her lip. "Though it may be the truth, keep comments like that to yourself." she whispered.
"Frankito, buddeh you back! Where you and Joe go?" a drunk Tre asked.
"Out to dinner, dad." he said. Then he ran up to his room.
"Well... Uhh... Adrienne, why don't you go back with Joey? I guess me and Mike will stay here with Tre and see what happened to him and the kids." my father stated.
"Fine." she replied shortly.
Then she grabbed me by the wrist and led me out the door.
The next morning
"Good morning Joseph." my father chirpped.
I looked at him, puzzled. What the hell was he doing up? "Morning..." I said.
"Mike told me what happened. He also told me what you do." he sighed.
"I supose being best friends with a liar and back-stabber rubbed off on him." I shot.
"... Look, your mother and I-"
"Are getting a divorce, worked things out, think we could help. Yeah... Whatever." I yawned.
"Would you just let me talk?" he asked. He shook his head. "Since you've literally been dying to get out of here by cutting yourself, we've set up an alternative. Now I know you aren't going to like it, but we honestly think it will help."
"I have to live with some relative, don't I?"
"Nope... Joseph, you're going to be living in a mental home."
I looked at him, unsure if he was telling the truth or not. For once in my life I hoped he was lying to me. I mean seriously, a mental home? Me? I could barely live in a normal home!
"You've gotta be shittin' me." I said at last.
He neglected eye contact. "Erm..." he murmered.
"You're seirous!?" I demanded.
"Look Joseph we're sorry but that's the only option we have. There's enough shit going on at the moment to have worry about you being crazy!" he shouted.
"Excuse me? Are you kidding? That's what being a parent is!" I retorted hotly.
"Listen, you're mother and I are going to marrige counciling, you're brother is going through thearpy so he dosen't end up like you, and you're going to the mental home so you can get better. We all need to be 'fixed', Joey. You'e not alone."
"Well why the hell do I get the worst of it?"
"Because you're in the worst condition!"
"Bullshit!"
"Take a good look at yourself and then tell me bullshit!"
I bit my tongue. He was winning. I couldn't believe it, but his choice was starting to make sense to me. It almost seemed... Sincere. Like he was doing this because he honestly loved me.
"It'll only be until we're positive this family is stable. We want to make sure that we aren't going to drive you to cut." he said softly.
I raised my head. "... And when do I leave?" I was afriad to ask.
"Today, if all goes as planned."
Chances were he would probably explain everything to our parents. I wasn't really looking forward to my family discovering what I had been hidding, that's why I hid it in the first place. There was no telling what my father would do if he found out.
The silence continued for a few more blocks. Eventually, Mike grew so uncomfortable that it forced him to turn on the radio. Basket Case had just been finishing up. Then one of my favorite songs came on.
"Cut my life into pieces, this is my last resort."
Papa Roach was one of my favorite bands, next to my father's, so I listened intently. The lyrics seemed to add to the irony and in a way it was funny. I think Frankito caught it too, because I heard him laugh.
"Would it be wrong or would it be right, if I took my life tonight? Chances are dynomite..."
"Okay well that's enough of that." Mike sighed, turning off the radio.
"Oh come on." I said.
"That's the last thing your parents and I need, you two killing yourselves because some stupid song provoked you..." he replied.
"Mike-"
"Hey, would you look at that. It's Billie Joe." he interupted.
I looked out the window and saw my father's car parked on the side of the street. Suddenly I realized that it was Frankito's street. My father was most likely inside talking with Tre about us, and Tre was probably too drunk to understand a word he was saying. Yeah... My life wasn't messed up.
I got out of the car and slowly made my way to the front door. Frankito seemed very nervous, I even thought he was going to make a run for it, but he kept on walking despite himself. When we got inside the house was a little crowded.
"Joseph!" my mother cried. "Where the hell did you go?"
"I left because dad is an asshole." I replied flatly.
She bit her lip. "Though it may be the truth, keep comments like that to yourself." she whispered.
"Frankito, buddeh you back! Where you and Joe go?" a drunk Tre asked.
"Out to dinner, dad." he said. Then he ran up to his room.
"Well... Uhh... Adrienne, why don't you go back with Joey? I guess me and Mike will stay here with Tre and see what happened to him and the kids." my father stated.
"Fine." she replied shortly.
Then she grabbed me by the wrist and led me out the door.
The next morning
"Good morning Joseph." my father chirpped.
I looked at him, puzzled. What the hell was he doing up? "Morning..." I said.
"Mike told me what happened. He also told me what you do." he sighed.
"I supose being best friends with a liar and back-stabber rubbed off on him." I shot.
"... Look, your mother and I-"
"Are getting a divorce, worked things out, think we could help. Yeah... Whatever." I yawned.
"Would you just let me talk?" he asked. He shook his head. "Since you've literally been dying to get out of here by cutting yourself, we've set up an alternative. Now I know you aren't going to like it, but we honestly think it will help."
"I have to live with some relative, don't I?"
"Nope... Joseph, you're going to be living in a mental home."
I looked at him, unsure if he was telling the truth or not. For once in my life I hoped he was lying to me. I mean seriously, a mental home? Me? I could barely live in a normal home!
"You've gotta be shittin' me." I said at last.
He neglected eye contact. "Erm..." he murmered.
"You're seirous!?" I demanded.
"Look Joseph we're sorry but that's the only option we have. There's enough shit going on at the moment to have worry about you being crazy!" he shouted.
"Excuse me? Are you kidding? That's what being a parent is!" I retorted hotly.
"Listen, you're mother and I are going to marrige counciling, you're brother is going through thearpy so he dosen't end up like you, and you're going to the mental home so you can get better. We all need to be 'fixed', Joey. You'e not alone."
"Well why the hell do I get the worst of it?"
"Because you're in the worst condition!"
"Bullshit!"
"Take a good look at yourself and then tell me bullshit!"
I bit my tongue. He was winning. I couldn't believe it, but his choice was starting to make sense to me. It almost seemed... Sincere. Like he was doing this because he honestly loved me.
"It'll only be until we're positive this family is stable. We want to make sure that we aren't going to drive you to cut." he said softly.
I raised my head. "... And when do I leave?" I was afriad to ask.
"Today, if all goes as planned."
