My Life, chapter 1
No one has any funking idea what it is like being his son. No one understands, he's never home, he's always with his friends doing what he does best. He's not around to come to my soccer games, he's not here to talk to me about the problems in my life, he's not here for anything. He just abandons us like we mean nothing to him. As long as I can remember we always came second, his career was his top priority.
Don't get me wrong, I love my father and sure I'm proud of him. I mean, not everyone wins a Grammy award, not everyone can write an amazing song, not every 34 year old can be considered hot. Okay, for being his son, talking about my dad's hotness is nasty, I think he is just old. Anyway, like I was saying, he is an amazing person who has achieved a shit load of great stuff. For one, he brought back rock 'n' roll, how many people can say they've done that? Not many. But of course that just adds pressure to my life. How the hell could I ever live up to my dad?
I still haven't answered this question myself. I figure I won't be able to for a long time. I'm only ten years old but I'm not stupid. I know I could never be as good as my father. He was a rock god and I was just his fuck up son. I always tried hard to impress my dad, but I've never actually succeeded. He never actually told me I was a disappointment or that he was ashamed of me, but he had to be.
I may sound angry, believe me, I'm not. I totally understand him, if I was the lead singer of one of the greatest bands alive I wouldn't waste my time at my son's soccer game either. Why wouldn't he prefer playing to thousands of his fans rather than bonding with me? It's just that, I don't know, why did he have to start a family if he never planned on spending time with them in the first place?
I'm just a selfish idiot, I suppose. My mom tells me I'm not, she says she understands why I feel the way I do. She always says she understands. Does she really understand, I wonder. Does she understand why my father places his career before his family? Probably not, but who am I to say.
No one knows what it feels like to listen to their father sing about their mother in a bad way or sing about them not being good enough. Ever hear of the song 'The Grouch'? Well if you have you know what I'm talking about.
Here I go again, bad mouthing my dad. It's just that no one notices the way he talks about his family. He's always saying how much he can't stand my mom or how my younger brother and me are ruining his life. He says how hard it is to have a family and have the kind of career he does. If it wasn't for my mom he probably would have been dead and buried years ago.
I constantly hear how lucky my mom and my bother and I am. If only they really knew. He's the lucky one, my mom stuck with him through thick and thin, sure they had their fights, but they always made up. My dad knows he would completely fall apart if my mother ever left him, I think everyone really knows.
Of course fans will never believe all that I am revealing. They can't admit that to themselves. Fans couldn't and would never see a problem with him, so what if he never attended one of his son's soccer games, so what if he said awful things about his wife, nothing could tarnish the image of the punk rocker Billie Joe Armstrong. He was a hero to many, but the sad thing was, he wasn't a hero to his own son, me, Joseph Armstrong.
Don't get me wrong, I love my father and sure I'm proud of him. I mean, not everyone wins a Grammy award, not everyone can write an amazing song, not every 34 year old can be considered hot. Okay, for being his son, talking about my dad's hotness is nasty, I think he is just old. Anyway, like I was saying, he is an amazing person who has achieved a shit load of great stuff. For one, he brought back rock 'n' roll, how many people can say they've done that? Not many. But of course that just adds pressure to my life. How the hell could I ever live up to my dad?
I still haven't answered this question myself. I figure I won't be able to for a long time. I'm only ten years old but I'm not stupid. I know I could never be as good as my father. He was a rock god and I was just his fuck up son. I always tried hard to impress my dad, but I've never actually succeeded. He never actually told me I was a disappointment or that he was ashamed of me, but he had to be.
I may sound angry, believe me, I'm not. I totally understand him, if I was the lead singer of one of the greatest bands alive I wouldn't waste my time at my son's soccer game either. Why wouldn't he prefer playing to thousands of his fans rather than bonding with me? It's just that, I don't know, why did he have to start a family if he never planned on spending time with them in the first place?
I'm just a selfish idiot, I suppose. My mom tells me I'm not, she says she understands why I feel the way I do. She always says she understands. Does she really understand, I wonder. Does she understand why my father places his career before his family? Probably not, but who am I to say.
No one knows what it feels like to listen to their father sing about their mother in a bad way or sing about them not being good enough. Ever hear of the song 'The Grouch'? Well if you have you know what I'm talking about.
Here I go again, bad mouthing my dad. It's just that no one notices the way he talks about his family. He's always saying how much he can't stand my mom or how my younger brother and me are ruining his life. He says how hard it is to have a family and have the kind of career he does. If it wasn't for my mom he probably would have been dead and buried years ago.
I constantly hear how lucky my mom and my bother and I am. If only they really knew. He's the lucky one, my mom stuck with him through thick and thin, sure they had their fights, but they always made up. My dad knows he would completely fall apart if my mother ever left him, I think everyone really knows.
Of course fans will never believe all that I am revealing. They can't admit that to themselves. Fans couldn't and would never see a problem with him, so what if he never attended one of his son's soccer games, so what if he said awful things about his wife, nothing could tarnish the image of the punk rocker Billie Joe Armstrong. He was a hero to many, but the sad thing was, he wasn't a hero to his own son, me, Joseph Armstrong.
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