Untitled, chapter 4
Billie woke up coughing. He had a really bad cold.
And Ollie was just like his waiter. She went up and down, really worried. And Billie got her quiet...
"Mom! It's okay now, I'm ten years old!"
"You're only ten years old, yeah."
"All since dad got sick you've been like this!"
Ollie stopped and froze. Her eyes stared manic at her youngest son. Her lip trembled.
"No, please mom, I didn't mean to--"
But Ollie turned away and disappeared and ran downstairs.
And Billie came after her, even if he had a headache making him feel dizzy. He ran into the kitchen.
To get a shock.
Billie stood in the doorway and looked worriedly at his family.
"What's happening?" he asked and stepped into the room. When he got no answer, he got really worried. "What the hell just happened?!"
Still silence, and quiet tears.
"Answer me!" Billie swallowed. It was something terrible. Not even Alan's jokes could be this worse.
"Sit down, Billie," said Ollie with a torn voice. Only hearing her saying three simple words told Billie that this was sad. Really sad.
"Have I done something?" he asked and sat down at a vacant chair.
"No, no..." Ollie shook her head.
Alan broke down and laid his head in his hands. That was the first time Billie ever saw Alan cry hysterically.
"Tell me now..." he whispered with a dry voice.
"This is going to change your life, Billie Joe. You have to know this, but it's really, really hard," Ollie declared and closed her eyes.
"I am ready."
It was silent, and Billie waited for Armageddon.
"Your father," Ollie said. "Died last night."
Billie's eyes immediately got flooded of tears. He shook his head, even if he realized it. Like he could get his dad back, and like it only was one of those mean jokes Alan made up.
"No. No. NO!" he yelled. "NOOO!"
His siblings just looked at him with dead glances. Everything was gone. Everything! He lost it! It was gone!
You'll come to at least one point in life where it feels like somebody pulls you either backwards or forwards. Remember Good Riddance? "Time grabs you by the wrist, directs you where to go".
For example when someone leaves you, that dies away from you. It's like a hand grabs you and pulls you away from the time you spent.
You'll never get that time back.
Never.
And "never" is the word many of us fear. I'm one of them. But this is about Billie, not me.
And Ollie was just like his waiter. She went up and down, really worried. And Billie got her quiet...
"Mom! It's okay now, I'm ten years old!"
"You're only ten years old, yeah."
"All since dad got sick you've been like this!"
Ollie stopped and froze. Her eyes stared manic at her youngest son. Her lip trembled.
"No, please mom, I didn't mean to--"
But Ollie turned away and disappeared and ran downstairs.
And Billie came after her, even if he had a headache making him feel dizzy. He ran into the kitchen.
To get a shock.
Billie stood in the doorway and looked worriedly at his family.
"What's happening?" he asked and stepped into the room. When he got no answer, he got really worried. "What the hell just happened?!"
Still silence, and quiet tears.
"Answer me!" Billie swallowed. It was something terrible. Not even Alan's jokes could be this worse.
"Sit down, Billie," said Ollie with a torn voice. Only hearing her saying three simple words told Billie that this was sad. Really sad.
"Have I done something?" he asked and sat down at a vacant chair.
"No, no..." Ollie shook her head.
Alan broke down and laid his head in his hands. That was the first time Billie ever saw Alan cry hysterically.
"Tell me now..." he whispered with a dry voice.
"This is going to change your life, Billie Joe. You have to know this, but it's really, really hard," Ollie declared and closed her eyes.
"I am ready."
It was silent, and Billie waited for Armageddon.
"Your father," Ollie said. "Died last night."
Billie's eyes immediately got flooded of tears. He shook his head, even if he realized it. Like he could get his dad back, and like it only was one of those mean jokes Alan made up.
"No. No. NO!" he yelled. "NOOO!"
His siblings just looked at him with dead glances. Everything was gone. Everything! He lost it! It was gone!
You'll come to at least one point in life where it feels like somebody pulls you either backwards or forwards. Remember Good Riddance? "Time grabs you by the wrist, directs you where to go".
For example when someone leaves you, that dies away from you. It's like a hand grabs you and pulls you away from the time you spent.
You'll never get that time back.
Never.
And "never" is the word many of us fear. I'm one of them. But this is about Billie, not me.
