Untitled, chapter 6
Billie sobbed as he ran between the trees, to and fro. He slipped at the slippery roots and stones.
His hair was laying in his eyes, his clothes were soaked and on the point of destroyed. But he didn't care.
He gave it all up. It was like everyone blamed him for everything and got him tonnes of work to do. Even if he "only" had a huge pile of sorrow and pain to carry.
He left it to someone else. Even if there was noone else.
Billie groaned and joined a stone on the ground as he fell for the seventeenth time.
"Why..?" he whispered out to the open air, getting quiet. The silence overwhelmed him. "WHY?!"
Shock. That's the word.
Billie stombled up from the ground. He couldn't fail a promise.
Five minutes later, Billie reached Fiffs.
Oh well. Billie felt stupid to care about a bird when his father just died.
A promise is not for failing, he settled and looked down in the nest.
He couldn't speak. He didn't want to speak. He wanted to feel. Feel life again.
Living dead. Stuffed in a coffin, breathing. Starting to suffocate.
Billie forced a smile to Fiffs and lift him up, close to his chest.
But something was wrong.
Billie touched Fiffs carefully. But he didn't move. Billie shook him. Hysterically.
"Come ooon", he mumbled. But he knew it. "Come on. Come on. COME OOON!!!"
The dissapointment welled over him. The pain, the sorrow, the anger...
He laid Fiffs back in the nest. Fiff's coffin.
That's when Billie collapsed.
***
"Your boy is gonna be okay. It's a shock for everyone when something like this happens, it's different how people handle it."
"But is it really... normal?"
"Nothing is right or wrong in sorrow. He did the right thing."
Heaven.
Was it?
No.
Hell.
World was still hell.
But this was better than before.
Not any longer.
Okay.
I don't mind.
I'm dead anyway.
Billie opened his eyes. He laid in a room painted yellow. He turned his head sideways and saw a strange woman dressed as a nurse.
Oh. She was a nurse.
"Billie!" yelled a familiar voice from the right.
Billie turned his tired, exhausted head to see Ollie. He forced a skew smile.
Ollie beamed back. But the smile was hollow.
"Honey..." His mom stepped closer and stroke his cheek. "Is it okay with you?"
"No," said Billie plainly, staring into her eyes. "How is dad? Where is he?"
Ollie gleered astonished at him. She started stroking Billie's curly hair.
"Darling, you know that... that dad passed," She forced a smile to her face.
"But I don't know where he is or what he's up to," Billie felt pain simultaneously as his heartbeat.
It was silent in the room.
"Billie, sweetheart... I don't know. Dad is where you keep him... he's in your heart," she whispered. "If you want to keep him there."
Billie nodded and swallowed the lump of tears.
"Am... am I at the hospital?"
Both Ollie and the nurse nodded.
"Why? I was... I was... Mom, I'm confused."
"Me too, Billie... me too." Ollie shook her head, "You were... outside in the forest... you were close to... to pass us."
Billie opened his eyes wide.
"Mom, I didn't mean to... not at all, I just wanted to..."
"I believe you Billie. It's tragic for you to pass this, for all of us... and when you're so young... aww Billie!" She hugged him tightly and Billie hugged her back. He blinked away the only tear.
He was empty now. He lost all the tears in the rain.
His hair was laying in his eyes, his clothes were soaked and on the point of destroyed. But he didn't care.
He gave it all up. It was like everyone blamed him for everything and got him tonnes of work to do. Even if he "only" had a huge pile of sorrow and pain to carry.
He left it to someone else. Even if there was noone else.
Billie groaned and joined a stone on the ground as he fell for the seventeenth time.
"Why..?" he whispered out to the open air, getting quiet. The silence overwhelmed him. "WHY?!"
Shock. That's the word.
Billie stombled up from the ground. He couldn't fail a promise.
Five minutes later, Billie reached Fiffs.
Oh well. Billie felt stupid to care about a bird when his father just died.
A promise is not for failing, he settled and looked down in the nest.
He couldn't speak. He didn't want to speak. He wanted to feel. Feel life again.
Living dead. Stuffed in a coffin, breathing. Starting to suffocate.
Billie forced a smile to Fiffs and lift him up, close to his chest.
But something was wrong.
Billie touched Fiffs carefully. But he didn't move. Billie shook him. Hysterically.
"Come ooon", he mumbled. But he knew it. "Come on. Come on. COME OOON!!!"
The dissapointment welled over him. The pain, the sorrow, the anger...
He laid Fiffs back in the nest. Fiff's coffin.
That's when Billie collapsed.
***
"Your boy is gonna be okay. It's a shock for everyone when something like this happens, it's different how people handle it."
"But is it really... normal?"
"Nothing is right or wrong in sorrow. He did the right thing."
Heaven.
Was it?
No.
Hell.
World was still hell.
But this was better than before.
Not any longer.
Okay.
I don't mind.
I'm dead anyway.
Billie opened his eyes. He laid in a room painted yellow. He turned his head sideways and saw a strange woman dressed as a nurse.
Oh. She was a nurse.
"Billie!" yelled a familiar voice from the right.
Billie turned his tired, exhausted head to see Ollie. He forced a skew smile.
Ollie beamed back. But the smile was hollow.
"Honey..." His mom stepped closer and stroke his cheek. "Is it okay with you?"
"No," said Billie plainly, staring into her eyes. "How is dad? Where is he?"
Ollie gleered astonished at him. She started stroking Billie's curly hair.
"Darling, you know that... that dad passed," She forced a smile to her face.
"But I don't know where he is or what he's up to," Billie felt pain simultaneously as his heartbeat.
It was silent in the room.
"Billie, sweetheart... I don't know. Dad is where you keep him... he's in your heart," she whispered. "If you want to keep him there."
Billie nodded and swallowed the lump of tears.
"Am... am I at the hospital?"
Both Ollie and the nurse nodded.
"Why? I was... I was... Mom, I'm confused."
"Me too, Billie... me too." Ollie shook her head, "You were... outside in the forest... you were close to... to pass us."
Billie opened his eyes wide.
"Mom, I didn't mean to... not at all, I just wanted to..."
"I believe you Billie. It's tragic for you to pass this, for all of us... and when you're so young... aww Billie!" She hugged him tightly and Billie hugged her back. He blinked away the only tear.
He was empty now. He lost all the tears in the rain.
