I Don't Feel Any Shame, I Won't Apologise, chapter 2
After a while Billie awoke, dazed and confused. "Mike," He looked into Mike's eyes.
"It's ok Billie," Mike moved away from the same position he had been sitting in for the past 2 hours and dragged his feet to Billie's bed.
Billie followed Mike and laid down.
"Sleep Billie," Mike sat next to Billie and watched him drift of into his dreams.
Mike figured it was only common sense to stay with Billie incase something else happened. So he grabbed some spare pillows and a blanket and made his own bed on the floor. Mike was scared. He didn't know what had caused Billie to inflict such pain to himself, but was Billie ever going to do it again?
Mike thoughts drowned him to sleep.
The clock ticked slowly throughout the night.
Morning arose and sunlight peered in through the windows.
Billie and Mike woke up to the annoying beeps of Billie's alarm.
Mike yawned and headed of for the bathroom. Billie fell back to sleep after turning of the alarm.
After spending countless minutes of getting ready in the bathroom, Mike came out and followed the usual morning routine, waking up Billie.
Surprisingly, Billie wasn't fussy at all. He didn't hesitate to get up, and wasn't wingy. 'Probably all that sleep..' Mike thought.
Billie didn't talk to Mike in the morning. Mike felt he had done something wrong, but couldn't figure out what. He didn't dare ask Billie why he had slit his wrist, but instead, tried to make conversation to ease the silence.
"So, Billie... How was school yesterday? First day, wasn't too bad. Eh?"
Billie looked at Mike. "Yeh, umm. It was, ok.." Billie lied. He couldn't let himself relive the pain, the suffering.
"OK, Time for school." Mike got up and washed his used plate, and began heading for his school bag.
Billie continued eating, slowly, as if Mike had never moved or said anything.
"Billie, C'mon, we'll be late."
"Billie?" Mike walked over to Billie and nudged him.
Billie looked at Mike and gasped.
"Billie, are you alright? You seem really jumpy."
"Umm.. I feel just a little, umm. Sick. I think I might have to stay home today."
Mike didn't like this idea, but he trusted Billie. "OK, I'll be going then, Cya."
Billie raised his hand and waved. He got out of his chair and started to move upstairs. The door creaked open and Billie walked into the room, he slumped onto his bed and fell back to sleep.
Mike exited the door and started to walk the same way they had walked yesterday. He began to wonder about Billie, if he was ok.
Mike, not knowingly started counting the cars under his breath. As he neared the school he quickened his pace...And again...Just a little faster. Eventually he broke into a fast run. He had to see Sarah; he missed her.
Sarah's smile, Her laugh, her walk. Mike fell dreamy in his own world again.
Mike opened the gate and walked up the path. As he pulled his bag of to view his timetable, he heard walking. Not just walking, Sarah's walking. He looked up and smiled to see a happy Sarah skipping towards him.
"Sarah!" Mike jumped up and ran to her, giving her a friendly, 'hello' hug.
"MIKE!" Sarah replied. "Where's.. Umm.. Joseph.. Jingle.. Bortruit?"
"Billie?" Mike interrupted.
"That's the one!"
"Oh, he's not feeling to well today."
"Aw, tell him to get better when you see him next." Sarah smiled.
"OK. What class do you have first?"
"Math."
"Me too." Mike smiled.
"Same teacher?"
The two exchanged timetables.
"Yes!" Sarah jumped up and down and tugged on Mike's arm.
Mike followed her to Math. He couldn't believe his luck.
Sarah walked into the classroom and waved hello to all her friends. She took a seat up the back and motioned for Mike to sit in the seat in front of her.
Mike sat down and opened his bag. His science book fell out open on the floor as he roamed for his Math book.
All over his science book clearly displayed, "Sarah", with huge hearts everywhere.
Mike fell onto his book purposely and looked at Sarah, he let out a sarcastic laugh hoping that she didn't see anything.
"Are you ok?" Sarah got out of her seat and offered her hand to help Mike up.
Mike got up and sat down again. "Fine" He replied.
The teacher walked in. A short, skinny, bald man. He was wearing jet colored glasses and a striped tie.
"Everyone, take your seats. Class will begin with the usual reading of weekly announcements."
"Who's that?" Mike asked Sarah.
"Mr. Bronfield." Sarah replied as she rolled her eyes.
Mr. Bronfield reached in his desk draw and pulled out a sheet of paper.
He cleared his throat and began speaking.
"Week 1, Term 1. Wednesday, we have our school dance."
The class turned to each other and started whispering. Sarah and her friends started giggling, Mike heard his name sweep out as they gossiped.
Mike listened closer, only to here the few words that he had ever hoped for.
"Maybe I should ask Mike?" Sarah said.
"Class.. Attenti-" Mr. Bronfield tried all he could to get the classes focus back.
"CLASS!! PLEASE! LISTEN!"
Everyone stopped and looked at the front again.
"Thank you. Now, let's continue."
The rest of the announcements were read out and work was given.
Simple math algorithms, the usual boring Math stuff.
After class Mike headed for the back field and sat down in the same spot as he did yesterday. Sarah didn't follow this time.
He began roaming for his lunch before 3 girls approached him. They were all typical schoolgirls. Pink clothes, short skirts, giggling amongst one another. Most probably gossiping.
Mike looked up at them and hinted a warming smile. "Yes?" he asked.
"You go.."
"No, you ask!"
"I'm not asking..."
The girls fought between each other, until finally one of them gave in.
One of the girls walked up to Mike.
"Sarah would like to know if you would go to the dance with her?"
Mike paused. His dreams finally came into place. For once, God wasn't such an asshole.
He looked up and replied with a huge grin. "Yes."
The girls screamed and jumped up and down before running off back to give Sarah the good news.
A screeching ring echoed throughout the school, the bell. Mike got up and headed for his next class. He sat alone, up the back. He missed Billie. Mike reached for his pocket and started writing a text.
'Everything ok?' Mike pushed the send button and placed the phone back in his bag, eagerly waiting for a reply.
Throughout class Mike examined his bag, watching his phone through the open zip.
Finally, after 10 minutes, it buzzed. Mikes hand immediately grabbed it; he read the message under his breath.
'Just fine.. Have been sleeping, you woke me up.' Mike sighed in relief.
As he began to write a new text he was stopped by the teacher pulling the phone out of his hand.
"No phones in class mister. You may obtain it after class, now, continue on with your work."
Mike sighed and pretended to start writing. The teacher walked back to the front and watched every student closer than a hawk would for prey.
After another agonizing 20 minutes the bell rang. Mike got his phone back and looked at the blank screen, hoping for a new message. Nothing.
Mike packed up and walked out the door, only to be shoved into a locker. Mike groaned in pain and fell to the floor.
"C'mon, get up, Punk!" Said a mean, sly voice.
Mike looked up and peered closely at the 3 teenagers in front of him. Obviously, bullies. They were all dressed in black leather with headbands.
'How original' Mike thought to himself.
Mike got up and began walking again.
"Hey, freak. Where do you think your going?" Said another one of the boys.
Again, Mike was pushed into a locker.
"What the fuck do you want already?" Mike asked.
"Oh, big words. Trying to be tough, you freak!"
"Freak is such a lame word." Mike replied and grinned.
His grin was whipped straight of his face as a sharp punch hit him directly below his nose. His mouth began bleeding.
"Stay away from Sarah. She's my girl." The bully stated.
All three walked off. Obviously not shy of dragging all the attention they could.
Mike got up and ran for the bathroom. He grabbed some toilet paper and cleaned up his face.
What was he going to do? He loved Sarah, but he also loved being alive in one piece. He ran out of the bathroom and back to Billie's house.
He knew he would get in trouble for leaving, but he didn't care.
Billie saw Mike running home from his window and ran down stairs to open the door. Blood dripped from Mike's mouth.
"MIKE! What happened!?" Billie demanded.
"Never mind about it. Just some freak bullies."
Billie helped mike through the door and shut it behind him.
"So, how was your day anyway?" Billie asked as he started to put some iodine on Mike's cut.
"Well, until I was beaten up, pretty dam good. There's a school dance tomorrow. I don't think I'll be going.."
"Aw, why?" Billie asked.
"Well, Sarah asked me."
Billie's hand slipped of Mike's mouth and Mike let out a yell of pain.
"Ow.. Watch it!"
"Sorry.. Continue Mikey."
"Well. The only reason I was targeted and punched was because of Sarah." Mike looked down and sighed.
"Oh no.." Billie let out a little snigger.
"So, I can't go with her now. If I want to live that is."
"Well, we can have a fun time at home tomorrow."
"Sure.. Whatever." Mike got up and walked to the couch. He fell onto it backwards and reached for the remote.
"What's on?" Billie asked.
Mike turned on the TV and flicked through the channels. "Nothing."
"I guess it's just you and me again, bud." Billie smiled and ran upstairs. He reached for his mobile and dialed a number. The phone began to ring.
Billie quickly scanned the room to make sure Mike hadn't followed. He put his hand up to his mouth to make sure he's voice didn't carry down throughout the house.
"Psst.. Joe?" Billie spoke into the phone.
"Yeh.." Replied a voice.
"Excellent job dude, he's not going!" Billie let out a yelp of excitement.
"It was no problem at all, call me if you ever need anything else done."
"Ok." Billie replied and hung up the phone. An evil look had overcome Billie. Finally, Mike was free for him, and him only.
"It's ok Billie," Mike moved away from the same position he had been sitting in for the past 2 hours and dragged his feet to Billie's bed.
Billie followed Mike and laid down.
"Sleep Billie," Mike sat next to Billie and watched him drift of into his dreams.
Mike figured it was only common sense to stay with Billie incase something else happened. So he grabbed some spare pillows and a blanket and made his own bed on the floor. Mike was scared. He didn't know what had caused Billie to inflict such pain to himself, but was Billie ever going to do it again?
Mike thoughts drowned him to sleep.
The clock ticked slowly throughout the night.
Morning arose and sunlight peered in through the windows.
Billie and Mike woke up to the annoying beeps of Billie's alarm.
Mike yawned and headed of for the bathroom. Billie fell back to sleep after turning of the alarm.
After spending countless minutes of getting ready in the bathroom, Mike came out and followed the usual morning routine, waking up Billie.
Surprisingly, Billie wasn't fussy at all. He didn't hesitate to get up, and wasn't wingy. 'Probably all that sleep..' Mike thought.
Billie didn't talk to Mike in the morning. Mike felt he had done something wrong, but couldn't figure out what. He didn't dare ask Billie why he had slit his wrist, but instead, tried to make conversation to ease the silence.
"So, Billie... How was school yesterday? First day, wasn't too bad. Eh?"
Billie looked at Mike. "Yeh, umm. It was, ok.." Billie lied. He couldn't let himself relive the pain, the suffering.
"OK, Time for school." Mike got up and washed his used plate, and began heading for his school bag.
Billie continued eating, slowly, as if Mike had never moved or said anything.
"Billie, C'mon, we'll be late."
"Billie?" Mike walked over to Billie and nudged him.
Billie looked at Mike and gasped.
"Billie, are you alright? You seem really jumpy."
"Umm.. I feel just a little, umm. Sick. I think I might have to stay home today."
Mike didn't like this idea, but he trusted Billie. "OK, I'll be going then, Cya."
Billie raised his hand and waved. He got out of his chair and started to move upstairs. The door creaked open and Billie walked into the room, he slumped onto his bed and fell back to sleep.
Mike exited the door and started to walk the same way they had walked yesterday. He began to wonder about Billie, if he was ok.
Mike, not knowingly started counting the cars under his breath. As he neared the school he quickened his pace...And again...Just a little faster. Eventually he broke into a fast run. He had to see Sarah; he missed her.
Sarah's smile, Her laugh, her walk. Mike fell dreamy in his own world again.
Mike opened the gate and walked up the path. As he pulled his bag of to view his timetable, he heard walking. Not just walking, Sarah's walking. He looked up and smiled to see a happy Sarah skipping towards him.
"Sarah!" Mike jumped up and ran to her, giving her a friendly, 'hello' hug.
"MIKE!" Sarah replied. "Where's.. Umm.. Joseph.. Jingle.. Bortruit?"
"Billie?" Mike interrupted.
"That's the one!"
"Oh, he's not feeling to well today."
"Aw, tell him to get better when you see him next." Sarah smiled.
"OK. What class do you have first?"
"Math."
"Me too." Mike smiled.
"Same teacher?"
The two exchanged timetables.
"Yes!" Sarah jumped up and down and tugged on Mike's arm.
Mike followed her to Math. He couldn't believe his luck.
Sarah walked into the classroom and waved hello to all her friends. She took a seat up the back and motioned for Mike to sit in the seat in front of her.
Mike sat down and opened his bag. His science book fell out open on the floor as he roamed for his Math book.
All over his science book clearly displayed, "Sarah", with huge hearts everywhere.
Mike fell onto his book purposely and looked at Sarah, he let out a sarcastic laugh hoping that she didn't see anything.
"Are you ok?" Sarah got out of her seat and offered her hand to help Mike up.
Mike got up and sat down again. "Fine" He replied.
The teacher walked in. A short, skinny, bald man. He was wearing jet colored glasses and a striped tie.
"Everyone, take your seats. Class will begin with the usual reading of weekly announcements."
"Who's that?" Mike asked Sarah.
"Mr. Bronfield." Sarah replied as she rolled her eyes.
Mr. Bronfield reached in his desk draw and pulled out a sheet of paper.
He cleared his throat and began speaking.
"Week 1, Term 1. Wednesday, we have our school dance."
The class turned to each other and started whispering. Sarah and her friends started giggling, Mike heard his name sweep out as they gossiped.
Mike listened closer, only to here the few words that he had ever hoped for.
"Maybe I should ask Mike?" Sarah said.
"Class.. Attenti-" Mr. Bronfield tried all he could to get the classes focus back.
"CLASS!! PLEASE! LISTEN!"
Everyone stopped and looked at the front again.
"Thank you. Now, let's continue."
The rest of the announcements were read out and work was given.
Simple math algorithms, the usual boring Math stuff.
After class Mike headed for the back field and sat down in the same spot as he did yesterday. Sarah didn't follow this time.
He began roaming for his lunch before 3 girls approached him. They were all typical schoolgirls. Pink clothes, short skirts, giggling amongst one another. Most probably gossiping.
Mike looked up at them and hinted a warming smile. "Yes?" he asked.
"You go.."
"No, you ask!"
"I'm not asking..."
The girls fought between each other, until finally one of them gave in.
One of the girls walked up to Mike.
"Sarah would like to know if you would go to the dance with her?"
Mike paused. His dreams finally came into place. For once, God wasn't such an asshole.
He looked up and replied with a huge grin. "Yes."
The girls screamed and jumped up and down before running off back to give Sarah the good news.
A screeching ring echoed throughout the school, the bell. Mike got up and headed for his next class. He sat alone, up the back. He missed Billie. Mike reached for his pocket and started writing a text.
'Everything ok?' Mike pushed the send button and placed the phone back in his bag, eagerly waiting for a reply.
Throughout class Mike examined his bag, watching his phone through the open zip.
Finally, after 10 minutes, it buzzed. Mikes hand immediately grabbed it; he read the message under his breath.
'Just fine.. Have been sleeping, you woke me up.' Mike sighed in relief.
As he began to write a new text he was stopped by the teacher pulling the phone out of his hand.
"No phones in class mister. You may obtain it after class, now, continue on with your work."
Mike sighed and pretended to start writing. The teacher walked back to the front and watched every student closer than a hawk would for prey.
After another agonizing 20 minutes the bell rang. Mike got his phone back and looked at the blank screen, hoping for a new message. Nothing.
Mike packed up and walked out the door, only to be shoved into a locker. Mike groaned in pain and fell to the floor.
"C'mon, get up, Punk!" Said a mean, sly voice.
Mike looked up and peered closely at the 3 teenagers in front of him. Obviously, bullies. They were all dressed in black leather with headbands.
'How original' Mike thought to himself.
Mike got up and began walking again.
"Hey, freak. Where do you think your going?" Said another one of the boys.
Again, Mike was pushed into a locker.
"What the fuck do you want already?" Mike asked.
"Oh, big words. Trying to be tough, you freak!"
"Freak is such a lame word." Mike replied and grinned.
His grin was whipped straight of his face as a sharp punch hit him directly below his nose. His mouth began bleeding.
"Stay away from Sarah. She's my girl." The bully stated.
All three walked off. Obviously not shy of dragging all the attention they could.
Mike got up and ran for the bathroom. He grabbed some toilet paper and cleaned up his face.
What was he going to do? He loved Sarah, but he also loved being alive in one piece. He ran out of the bathroom and back to Billie's house.
He knew he would get in trouble for leaving, but he didn't care.
Billie saw Mike running home from his window and ran down stairs to open the door. Blood dripped from Mike's mouth.
"MIKE! What happened!?" Billie demanded.
"Never mind about it. Just some freak bullies."
Billie helped mike through the door and shut it behind him.
"So, how was your day anyway?" Billie asked as he started to put some iodine on Mike's cut.
"Well, until I was beaten up, pretty dam good. There's a school dance tomorrow. I don't think I'll be going.."
"Aw, why?" Billie asked.
"Well, Sarah asked me."
Billie's hand slipped of Mike's mouth and Mike let out a yell of pain.
"Ow.. Watch it!"
"Sorry.. Continue Mikey."
"Well. The only reason I was targeted and punched was because of Sarah." Mike looked down and sighed.
"Oh no.." Billie let out a little snigger.
"So, I can't go with her now. If I want to live that is."
"Well, we can have a fun time at home tomorrow."
"Sure.. Whatever." Mike got up and walked to the couch. He fell onto it backwards and reached for the remote.
"What's on?" Billie asked.
Mike turned on the TV and flicked through the channels. "Nothing."
"I guess it's just you and me again, bud." Billie smiled and ran upstairs. He reached for his mobile and dialed a number. The phone began to ring.
Billie quickly scanned the room to make sure Mike hadn't followed. He put his hand up to his mouth to make sure he's voice didn't carry down throughout the house.
"Psst.. Joe?" Billie spoke into the phone.
"Yeh.." Replied a voice.
"Excellent job dude, he's not going!" Billie let out a yelp of excitement.
"It was no problem at all, call me if you ever need anything else done."
"Ok." Billie replied and hung up the phone. An evil look had overcome Billie. Finally, Mike was free for him, and him only.
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