A Journal Never Lies, chapter 1
She sat on her bed, listening to the constant bitching of her parents' daily arguments. It's been like this for almost a whole year, and she was sick of it.
Everyday, while these fights were going on, she wondered why they just wouldn't just get a divorce. It seems like everyone would be happier then. But, her mother keeps her hopes up that things will just blow over and she stays with her father.
She knows her mom is miserable, but she also knows that she loves her dad.
Life outside of her home isn't good either. The place she hated more than her own home, was her school. Going to John Sweet High School wasn't enjoyable for her. Hearing the whispering as she walked down the hall, being called too many names to keep up on, and never being treated for a normal human being teared her apart. Not many people like her at school and hardly anyone talks to her. The only time she has a real conversation with people at school, is only because she was made that person's partner. Everybody just labeled her as a 'freak' because of how she looked.
Thinking about being a 'freak' to everyone at school hurt her so bad. All she ever wanted was a true friend. A friend she could trust with her deepest secrets. But she knew the odds of that were as likely as her becoming the most popular girl in school.
When she looks at the popular girls, it makes her sick. They act so sweet and innocent in front of the teachers, and instanly change when they aren't in sight. She is mainly the popular girls' target. If only they knew how much they hurt her.
She slightly opened her door to see if the fighting had stopped. It hadn't. Not being able to take it anymore, she walked downstairs and out the door. She just kept walking because it seemed like no one even noticed she left. She hated her life so much and she had no one to tell, no one would listen. Suddenly, while walking down her street, she knew who she could tell her fears and pain to.
She wondered why she never thougth of it before, but it is a perfect idea for her. She opened the door to the drug store right around the corner from her and looked around. After five minutes, she found it. It was a black journal with a white lock on it. It was perfect. Knowing this was the thing she needed in her life, she bought it. After giving the cashier $2.50, she walked out and ran back home as fast as she could.
When she got home, she ran up the stairs and to her room. Locking the door behind her, she felt safe and secure. She ran her hand down the side of the journal where the lock was and felt a different feeling in her. Almost like she felt more alive, like she had somethnig to live for now. She opened the journal to the first page and looked at the blank, lined page. This was her time to write whatever she wanted to write and no one will know, only she will. She grabbed a pen from her desk and began to write.
May 2, 1989
Well, hi. My name is Alexandria Wright. I go to John Sweet High School and I hate it there. Nobody likes me there. I wish so bad that I had friends, but no one ever talks to me.
My home life sucks. My parents always fight and I want them to get a divorce so bad. But they never will. I think everyone in this house would be happier if they did.
I have an older brother, Frank, who plays the drums all the time. Me and him are really close, but he dosen't go to my school anymore. He dropped out last year during his sophmore year. He thinks that his band is really going to make it big, and I fully support him. I hope one day he will, I really do! But I wish more that he was around here still. I need someone here to make me feel better. When I would tell him how horrible the kids at school treat me, he always found a way to make me feel better.
Nowadays, since he isn't here, I feel like dying. I really do wish some days I would just go away for good. Suicide thoughts come in my mind alot, and I have tried many times. All it has left me with was scars the doctor said will stay for at least a year and a half, but not as big as the scars left inside of me from everyone around me. I've tried to block them out when they bully me, but it never works. They find my flaw and pull at it until I'm nothing. I wish every single popular person could walk in my shoes for one whole day. Then they would know how the people they hurt everyday feel.
She closed her journal and locked it, making sure no one could open it without the key. She got a chain from a random box on her floor and put the key an it and around her neck. If anyone was ever going to read her journal, they were going to go through her first. Placing the journal under her bed, she got under the covers of her bed, turned off her light, and went to sleep.
Maybe school will be better tomorrow...
Everyday, while these fights were going on, she wondered why they just wouldn't just get a divorce. It seems like everyone would be happier then. But, her mother keeps her hopes up that things will just blow over and she stays with her father.
She knows her mom is miserable, but she also knows that she loves her dad.
Life outside of her home isn't good either. The place she hated more than her own home, was her school. Going to John Sweet High School wasn't enjoyable for her. Hearing the whispering as she walked down the hall, being called too many names to keep up on, and never being treated for a normal human being teared her apart. Not many people like her at school and hardly anyone talks to her. The only time she has a real conversation with people at school, is only because she was made that person's partner. Everybody just labeled her as a 'freak' because of how she looked.
Thinking about being a 'freak' to everyone at school hurt her so bad. All she ever wanted was a true friend. A friend she could trust with her deepest secrets. But she knew the odds of that were as likely as her becoming the most popular girl in school.
When she looks at the popular girls, it makes her sick. They act so sweet and innocent in front of the teachers, and instanly change when they aren't in sight. She is mainly the popular girls' target. If only they knew how much they hurt her.
She slightly opened her door to see if the fighting had stopped. It hadn't. Not being able to take it anymore, she walked downstairs and out the door. She just kept walking because it seemed like no one even noticed she left. She hated her life so much and she had no one to tell, no one would listen. Suddenly, while walking down her street, she knew who she could tell her fears and pain to.
She wondered why she never thougth of it before, but it is a perfect idea for her. She opened the door to the drug store right around the corner from her and looked around. After five minutes, she found it. It was a black journal with a white lock on it. It was perfect. Knowing this was the thing she needed in her life, she bought it. After giving the cashier $2.50, she walked out and ran back home as fast as she could.
When she got home, she ran up the stairs and to her room. Locking the door behind her, she felt safe and secure. She ran her hand down the side of the journal where the lock was and felt a different feeling in her. Almost like she felt more alive, like she had somethnig to live for now. She opened the journal to the first page and looked at the blank, lined page. This was her time to write whatever she wanted to write and no one will know, only she will. She grabbed a pen from her desk and began to write.
May 2, 1989
Well, hi. My name is Alexandria Wright. I go to John Sweet High School and I hate it there. Nobody likes me there. I wish so bad that I had friends, but no one ever talks to me.
My home life sucks. My parents always fight and I want them to get a divorce so bad. But they never will. I think everyone in this house would be happier if they did.
I have an older brother, Frank, who plays the drums all the time. Me and him are really close, but he dosen't go to my school anymore. He dropped out last year during his sophmore year. He thinks that his band is really going to make it big, and I fully support him. I hope one day he will, I really do! But I wish more that he was around here still. I need someone here to make me feel better. When I would tell him how horrible the kids at school treat me, he always found a way to make me feel better.
Nowadays, since he isn't here, I feel like dying. I really do wish some days I would just go away for good. Suicide thoughts come in my mind alot, and I have tried many times. All it has left me with was scars the doctor said will stay for at least a year and a half, but not as big as the scars left inside of me from everyone around me. I've tried to block them out when they bully me, but it never works. They find my flaw and pull at it until I'm nothing. I wish every single popular person could walk in my shoes for one whole day. Then they would know how the people they hurt everyday feel.
She closed her journal and locked it, making sure no one could open it without the key. She got a chain from a random box on her floor and put the key an it and around her neck. If anyone was ever going to read her journal, they were going to go through her first. Placing the journal under her bed, she got under the covers of her bed, turned off her light, and went to sleep.
Maybe school will be better tomorrow...
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