A Journal Never Lies, chapter 13
Surprised to see her brother, she knocked over her drink. She was speechless; she had no idea what to say. She picked up her glass, placing it upright on the table. She stared at Frank for a moment, then got up, heading towards the door.
Frank blinked, wondering if what he just saw really was his sister. He saw her getting up to leave; he couldn't let her get away. "Alex! Wait!"
She walked faster towards the door; wanting to get out as fast as possible. The door seemed like it was moving away from her. She walked fatser and faster; the door moving farther and farther away from her. She shoved people out of the way, not caring at the looks people were giving her. When, after what felt like forever, she got to the door, she felt more relieved. She opened the door and ran as fast as she could. She heard her brother, yelling at her to stop. She didn't want to; she wanted to get away from him.
Frank ran with all his might to catch up with his sister. "Alex! Stop! Please!" She wasn't going to stop any time soon. He felt his muscles tightening on him, he would get a cramp in his legs anytime soon; but he didn't care. He needed to get his sister.
It was dark out, so it was harder to see where she was heading. But Frank listened closely to hear the clunking of her Converses. He gave up on telling her to stop, because she obviously wasn't going to. Suddenly though, he didn't hear her running anymore. He stopped running and looked around. He stood next to the closest lamp post to have some light. Frank felt like a failure. She was right there, and he still didn't get her.
Her heart was pounding from running so long. She couldn't take the fast movement any longer. She had to stop and take a break. There was a bench nearby, so she sat down and broke down. Tears shedded out of her eyes. She felt so horrible. She wondered why she ran away from him. She could've went home with her brother, start over from before she ran away. But she had to once again run away from her problems.
He heard someone crying; he knew it was her. He followed the noise, trying to figure out where it was coming from. He saw a dark figure sitting on a bench; hearing a sobbing coming from it. He walked closer to it, hoping it was his sister. The person realized there was a person behind them, and began getting up from their seat.
"Alex, is that you?" Frank said in a gental voice. All that he heard was the crickets chirping in the humid May night. He waited for an answer, but it was obvious he wasn't going to get one. He walked closer to the person; they were also moving away as he moved. He wanted the person to stop moving, but he knew that would be impossible. He just kept on walking towards them, wating for them to stop moving. He didn't care how long it would take, he was gonig to talk to them.
She felt afraid to talk. When she tried to answer Frank, the words wouldn't come out. She didn't want Frank to come near her, she felt uncomfortable. She kept bracing herself to make a run for it if Frank began moving slightly faster.
She was mentally kicking herself for every step she took. She kept telling herself that this was here chance to end everything, start over; but her body kept on moving, not obeying her mind's commands. She was hurting herself, and Frank everytime she moved away from him; she knew she was. She couldn't take it anymore. She wasn't going to listen to her mind, or her body.
"Why am I doing this Frank? Why?!"
Frank was startled from her voice. He wasn't expecting her speak to him. He stopped walking. "I don't know Alex."
"I'm sick of myself! I hate me. Everyone hates me..."
Frank wished she would stop walking so he could put an arm around her shoulder, "I don't hate you Alex. Billie Joe doesn't. Mike doesn't. Ollie doesn't. Hell, even mom and dad don't Al."
"Frank even you know that is a fucking lie! Mom and dad hate me. They always have."
"Is that why you left?"
She sighed, rubbing her temples with her index fingers. She was beginning to get a headache. "Part of it. I had it with life. When you read my journal, that just crossed the line and I knew I had to get away; live on my own."
"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have read your journal."
She crossed her arms across her chest, "Yeah. You shouldn't have."
Frank put his hands in his pockets, realizing that she stopped walking away and was actually moving closer to him. "So...is this a goodbye conversation, or are you coming home with me?"
That sentence. That was the sentence she had been wanting to hear. She was dying to come home; but she was beginning to like it on her own. People knew her on the streets, without her knowing them. Even though she had no way to get a good amount of money, people gave her stuff without her asking for it. People talked to her because they wanted to hear about how she got around to living on the streets. When she was at school, the only time people talked to her was to ask her what it was like to be a freak. On her own, she felt like she had a new level of respect from people.
She debated in her head whether she should go home with Frank, or keep on living on her own. She thought about how Frank would most likely be more protective of her, afraid that she would run away again. She didn't want to be treated differently, she wanted to be treated the want he had always treated her.
Frank began to feel nervous by the long silence. He thought maybe she was actually thinking about living on her own. If she did, he would be so hurt. It was his sister, the only person in his family he cared for anymore, and she was thinking of staying out on her own.
"Please come home with me Alex. I'm so sorry for making you mad. I don't want you to stay out on your own. I'd worry about you day and night, not know what was happening to you. Please." Frank was afraid his pleas weren't going to be good enough to make her stay. He hoped they were, it was all he had to get her to stay.
"I...I...I don't know Frank," she said through her tears. "This is all my fault. I never really wanted to leave."
"Then why did you Alex?"
"I...I thought everyone would be happier without me. I thought that maybe if I left, people wouldn't have to worry about me. So, I just...did."
"Alex, ever since you've left, I've been miserable. You're the only family member I actually care about. Please. Come home. If you still wanna leave after a few days home with me, Mike, and B.J., you can go. How about it?"
She did want to go home with him. And he did say she could leave if she wanted to. She smiled, "I think I like that idea Frank."
Frank smiled, "Great! Come on! Let's head back to Gilman and show Billie Joe and Mike who I've found." The siblings walked together to Gilman. Frank felt like a whole peorson with his sister with him again, and Alex felt happy knowing she had people in her life who actually cared about her.
When Alex and Frank walked into Gilman, they looked for Billie Joe and Mike. They found them in the corner, Mike talking to some brown haired girl; Billie Joe talking to his girlfriend, Marissa. Mike turned and saw Frank. Next to Frank he saw his sister; he was amazed. Mike hit Billie Joe's shoulder and motioned towards Frank. When he saw her, his jaw dropped. Billie and Mike ran over to her.
Mike hugged her, "Alex! You're back! I've missed you so much!" She hugged him back, happy to see Mike was glad to see her.
Billie Joe hugged her as well, picking her up in the process, "I can't believe you're back Al! I didn't know if you were, but I'm glad you did."
"Thanks Billie Joe, and thanks Mike. I heard you guys play earlier. Once again, another amazing show. When's the next one?"
Mike hugged her again, "That's what I missed hearing from her."
She smiled, "Come on guys. Let's go home. I'm getting kinda tired."
Frank smiled and put his arm around his little sister, "Okey dokey sis. You guys coming?"
"You bet we are," said Mike. The four of them walked home together. She felt like the happiest girl right at that moment. She had three people that cared about her dearly, and that's all she ever wanted.
May 17, 1989
I'm home, Jerry! I'm back home with Frank, Mike, and Billie Joe! They really do care about me! They said they've been worried and so sad ever since I've left. I feel like a whole new person. I've forgotten about Jack, my parents, and all my problems! I'm a new me and I'm not going to change for anyone! If things end up not going well here, I could always leave. Frank even said I could. We made a deal. He said if I came ome with him and didn't like it, I could leave. But, honestly Jerry, I don't think I'm going to leave. I mean, I'm living with the three best people in the world who care about me. Maybe things will get better from here on out.
Well, it's been a really long night, Jerry. It's like 3:27 a.m., and I've been out all night. So now, I'm goig to go to bed in my room. I love the sound of that...my room. Well, Good night Jerry. Or, actually, good morning!
She placed her journal under her pillow, her new hiding spot for her journal, and fell asleep. She was home now, and she couldn't be any happier than she was right then.
Frank blinked, wondering if what he just saw really was his sister. He saw her getting up to leave; he couldn't let her get away. "Alex! Wait!"
She walked faster towards the door; wanting to get out as fast as possible. The door seemed like it was moving away from her. She walked fatser and faster; the door moving farther and farther away from her. She shoved people out of the way, not caring at the looks people were giving her. When, after what felt like forever, she got to the door, she felt more relieved. She opened the door and ran as fast as she could. She heard her brother, yelling at her to stop. She didn't want to; she wanted to get away from him.
Frank ran with all his might to catch up with his sister. "Alex! Stop! Please!" She wasn't going to stop any time soon. He felt his muscles tightening on him, he would get a cramp in his legs anytime soon; but he didn't care. He needed to get his sister.
It was dark out, so it was harder to see where she was heading. But Frank listened closely to hear the clunking of her Converses. He gave up on telling her to stop, because she obviously wasn't going to. Suddenly though, he didn't hear her running anymore. He stopped running and looked around. He stood next to the closest lamp post to have some light. Frank felt like a failure. She was right there, and he still didn't get her.
Her heart was pounding from running so long. She couldn't take the fast movement any longer. She had to stop and take a break. There was a bench nearby, so she sat down and broke down. Tears shedded out of her eyes. She felt so horrible. She wondered why she ran away from him. She could've went home with her brother, start over from before she ran away. But she had to once again run away from her problems.
He heard someone crying; he knew it was her. He followed the noise, trying to figure out where it was coming from. He saw a dark figure sitting on a bench; hearing a sobbing coming from it. He walked closer to it, hoping it was his sister. The person realized there was a person behind them, and began getting up from their seat.
"Alex, is that you?" Frank said in a gental voice. All that he heard was the crickets chirping in the humid May night. He waited for an answer, but it was obvious he wasn't going to get one. He walked closer to the person; they were also moving away as he moved. He wanted the person to stop moving, but he knew that would be impossible. He just kept on walking towards them, wating for them to stop moving. He didn't care how long it would take, he was gonig to talk to them.
She felt afraid to talk. When she tried to answer Frank, the words wouldn't come out. She didn't want Frank to come near her, she felt uncomfortable. She kept bracing herself to make a run for it if Frank began moving slightly faster.
She was mentally kicking herself for every step she took. She kept telling herself that this was here chance to end everything, start over; but her body kept on moving, not obeying her mind's commands. She was hurting herself, and Frank everytime she moved away from him; she knew she was. She couldn't take it anymore. She wasn't going to listen to her mind, or her body.
"Why am I doing this Frank? Why?!"
Frank was startled from her voice. He wasn't expecting her speak to him. He stopped walking. "I don't know Alex."
"I'm sick of myself! I hate me. Everyone hates me..."
Frank wished she would stop walking so he could put an arm around her shoulder, "I don't hate you Alex. Billie Joe doesn't. Mike doesn't. Ollie doesn't. Hell, even mom and dad don't Al."
"Frank even you know that is a fucking lie! Mom and dad hate me. They always have."
"Is that why you left?"
She sighed, rubbing her temples with her index fingers. She was beginning to get a headache. "Part of it. I had it with life. When you read my journal, that just crossed the line and I knew I had to get away; live on my own."
"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have read your journal."
She crossed her arms across her chest, "Yeah. You shouldn't have."
Frank put his hands in his pockets, realizing that she stopped walking away and was actually moving closer to him. "So...is this a goodbye conversation, or are you coming home with me?"
That sentence. That was the sentence she had been wanting to hear. She was dying to come home; but she was beginning to like it on her own. People knew her on the streets, without her knowing them. Even though she had no way to get a good amount of money, people gave her stuff without her asking for it. People talked to her because they wanted to hear about how she got around to living on the streets. When she was at school, the only time people talked to her was to ask her what it was like to be a freak. On her own, she felt like she had a new level of respect from people.
She debated in her head whether she should go home with Frank, or keep on living on her own. She thought about how Frank would most likely be more protective of her, afraid that she would run away again. She didn't want to be treated differently, she wanted to be treated the want he had always treated her.
Frank began to feel nervous by the long silence. He thought maybe she was actually thinking about living on her own. If she did, he would be so hurt. It was his sister, the only person in his family he cared for anymore, and she was thinking of staying out on her own.
"Please come home with me Alex. I'm so sorry for making you mad. I don't want you to stay out on your own. I'd worry about you day and night, not know what was happening to you. Please." Frank was afraid his pleas weren't going to be good enough to make her stay. He hoped they were, it was all he had to get her to stay.
"I...I...I don't know Frank," she said through her tears. "This is all my fault. I never really wanted to leave."
"Then why did you Alex?"
"I...I thought everyone would be happier without me. I thought that maybe if I left, people wouldn't have to worry about me. So, I just...did."
"Alex, ever since you've left, I've been miserable. You're the only family member I actually care about. Please. Come home. If you still wanna leave after a few days home with me, Mike, and B.J., you can go. How about it?"
She did want to go home with him. And he did say she could leave if she wanted to. She smiled, "I think I like that idea Frank."
Frank smiled, "Great! Come on! Let's head back to Gilman and show Billie Joe and Mike who I've found." The siblings walked together to Gilman. Frank felt like a whole peorson with his sister with him again, and Alex felt happy knowing she had people in her life who actually cared about her.
When Alex and Frank walked into Gilman, they looked for Billie Joe and Mike. They found them in the corner, Mike talking to some brown haired girl; Billie Joe talking to his girlfriend, Marissa. Mike turned and saw Frank. Next to Frank he saw his sister; he was amazed. Mike hit Billie Joe's shoulder and motioned towards Frank. When he saw her, his jaw dropped. Billie and Mike ran over to her.
Mike hugged her, "Alex! You're back! I've missed you so much!" She hugged him back, happy to see Mike was glad to see her.
Billie Joe hugged her as well, picking her up in the process, "I can't believe you're back Al! I didn't know if you were, but I'm glad you did."
"Thanks Billie Joe, and thanks Mike. I heard you guys play earlier. Once again, another amazing show. When's the next one?"
Mike hugged her again, "That's what I missed hearing from her."
She smiled, "Come on guys. Let's go home. I'm getting kinda tired."
Frank smiled and put his arm around his little sister, "Okey dokey sis. You guys coming?"
"You bet we are," said Mike. The four of them walked home together. She felt like the happiest girl right at that moment. She had three people that cared about her dearly, and that's all she ever wanted.
May 17, 1989
I'm home, Jerry! I'm back home with Frank, Mike, and Billie Joe! They really do care about me! They said they've been worried and so sad ever since I've left. I feel like a whole new person. I've forgotten about Jack, my parents, and all my problems! I'm a new me and I'm not going to change for anyone! If things end up not going well here, I could always leave. Frank even said I could. We made a deal. He said if I came ome with him and didn't like it, I could leave. But, honestly Jerry, I don't think I'm going to leave. I mean, I'm living with the three best people in the world who care about me. Maybe things will get better from here on out.
Well, it's been a really long night, Jerry. It's like 3:27 a.m., and I've been out all night. So now, I'm goig to go to bed in my room. I love the sound of that...my room. Well, Good night Jerry. Or, actually, good morning!
She placed her journal under her pillow, her new hiding spot for her journal, and fell asleep. She was home now, and she couldn't be any happier than she was right then.
