You'll Be In My Heart, chapter 7
For a while, there was silence. Mike and I were just kind of in a new world within our own thoughts and emotions. I begun to breath in and out faster. But for some odd reason it felt like the air was running out. That I had barely anymore left.
'There's something wrong. There's something wrong. There's something wrong, ' Ran through my head.
My breathing started pacing faster and faster as I heaved deeper in and out through my lungs.
"Oh my God. Oh my God!" Mike yelled and started to bundle me up in his arms. I felt the leap as Mike jumped out of the car and started to run with me in his arms. My vision was speckling into a whitish color so I could not see where I was. I felt myself scream in fear as I wiped my eyes to clear them with no success.
"I can't see! I can't see!" I screamed.
"Somebody help! Please! Call an ambulance!" I heard Mike scream as I was still in his arms. I had this feeling he was inside Starbucks because there were tons of screams and yelling and commotion when Mike yelled. I was so lost and confused and scared and BLIND that I felt like I was in a totally different world.
"Oh my God! Billie Joe Armstrong!" I heard inside the crowd. A baby was screaming and other people were screaming and I screamed too from fear.
I felt myself being bumped and poked and even cried on as people surrounded me. Mike kept yelling stuff like, "No! Get away from him ass holes!," and "Billie! C'mon man, you're alright! Snap out of it!"
It was not until then that I felt this feeling of a prick in my side, and soon after I felt a little drowsiness in my head. I felt a sudden rush of sweeping cold breeze lift me into the air, and I knew then that I was falling asleep. Soon after that, I started drifting off...
***
A voice. It clears my head. It says things. And for some odd reason I recognize this voice. But still cannot identify it.
"Hi Billie. I heard you were sick so I came to visit you. I was worried about you when I heard."
This voice. Where was it coming from?
"Honey, I think he's okay, just let him sleep for a while, okay? Did you know this all started when we started talking about you?" Came another voice. The second voice seemed to be coming clearer and clearer. It was Mike. But who was the other one?
A constant beeping noise sounded from beside me.
Voices begun to grow louder and clearer, and soon enough I could listen to their conversation. I couldn't understand what they were talking about, but it went something like this:
"Do you think he'll be alright, doctor?"
"I think he will be just fine. He experienced a rather severe Disambiguation."
"Disambig- what?" I heard Mike yell.
"If you would, please lower your voice. But yes. I will explain. Disambiguation is intense fear or psychological distress, typically of abrupt onset and lasting no more than thirty minutes. Symptoms may include trembling, shortness of breath, heart palpitations, sweating, nausea, dizziness, hyperventilation, or paresthesias."
"English, please?" Mike said again.
"It's a panic attack."
Panic attack?
"Now I need to treat another needy patient, so if you will, please keep your voices down and if you need help, please try a nurse or doctor near by."
Footsteps fading away told me that the so-called doctor had left.
For a few more minutes, I tried desperately to open my eyes, but it was like they were glued shut. I think I was just too tired.
As I tried to open my eyes, three people were talking. I even tried to open my mouth, but it felt like someone had put a substance into my muscles to keep me from moving.
Finally, though, I was able to open my eyes, slowly and carefully. When I did, and saw who was sitting there next to me, Mike and Tre', I literally jumped right up.
"Rene'e!" I yelled wildly, standing up off the bed and grabbing her. I felt like something had been pulled from my arm, but I ignored it.
"Billie!" she smiled so happily and hugged me. For a few seconds we were hugging each other. I felt like a kid, leaning down on my knees and holding her in my arms.
An immediate, loud beeping sound came from one of the machines, and the heart monitor was racing at a million beats per second.
"What's going on?!?" Tre' yelled, freaked out.
"Billie, your IV's! You're IV's! You pulled them out!" Mike yelled.
Tre' ran as fast as the speed of light out of the hospital room and came back with a nurse.
But the thing was... I felt fine.
"Ohh geez, not again." The nurse shook her head. She ordered me to lay back down on the bed, and I did too, after glancing to look at Rene'e. She seemed very scared.
The nurse, without warning, took the IV and shoved it carefully under my left wrist, and the other beneath my right elbow.
"Ah!" I cried out in pain.
"You're okay. You won't have these in for very long it looks... Especially if you have enough energy to jump out of bed like that," the nurse smiled a bit before fading away...
Again I begun to drift off...
'There's something wrong. There's something wrong. There's something wrong, ' Ran through my head.
My breathing started pacing faster and faster as I heaved deeper in and out through my lungs.
"Oh my God. Oh my God!" Mike yelled and started to bundle me up in his arms. I felt the leap as Mike jumped out of the car and started to run with me in his arms. My vision was speckling into a whitish color so I could not see where I was. I felt myself scream in fear as I wiped my eyes to clear them with no success.
"I can't see! I can't see!" I screamed.
"Somebody help! Please! Call an ambulance!" I heard Mike scream as I was still in his arms. I had this feeling he was inside Starbucks because there were tons of screams and yelling and commotion when Mike yelled. I was so lost and confused and scared and BLIND that I felt like I was in a totally different world.
"Oh my God! Billie Joe Armstrong!" I heard inside the crowd. A baby was screaming and other people were screaming and I screamed too from fear.
I felt myself being bumped and poked and even cried on as people surrounded me. Mike kept yelling stuff like, "No! Get away from him ass holes!," and "Billie! C'mon man, you're alright! Snap out of it!"
It was not until then that I felt this feeling of a prick in my side, and soon after I felt a little drowsiness in my head. I felt a sudden rush of sweeping cold breeze lift me into the air, and I knew then that I was falling asleep. Soon after that, I started drifting off...
***
A voice. It clears my head. It says things. And for some odd reason I recognize this voice. But still cannot identify it.
"Hi Billie. I heard you were sick so I came to visit you. I was worried about you when I heard."
This voice. Where was it coming from?
"Honey, I think he's okay, just let him sleep for a while, okay? Did you know this all started when we started talking about you?" Came another voice. The second voice seemed to be coming clearer and clearer. It was Mike. But who was the other one?
A constant beeping noise sounded from beside me.
Voices begun to grow louder and clearer, and soon enough I could listen to their conversation. I couldn't understand what they were talking about, but it went something like this:
"Do you think he'll be alright, doctor?"
"I think he will be just fine. He experienced a rather severe Disambiguation."
"Disambig- what?" I heard Mike yell.
"If you would, please lower your voice. But yes. I will explain. Disambiguation is intense fear or psychological distress, typically of abrupt onset and lasting no more than thirty minutes. Symptoms may include trembling, shortness of breath, heart palpitations, sweating, nausea, dizziness, hyperventilation, or paresthesias."
"English, please?" Mike said again.
"It's a panic attack."
Panic attack?
"Now I need to treat another needy patient, so if you will, please keep your voices down and if you need help, please try a nurse or doctor near by."
Footsteps fading away told me that the so-called doctor had left.
For a few more minutes, I tried desperately to open my eyes, but it was like they were glued shut. I think I was just too tired.
As I tried to open my eyes, three people were talking. I even tried to open my mouth, but it felt like someone had put a substance into my muscles to keep me from moving.
Finally, though, I was able to open my eyes, slowly and carefully. When I did, and saw who was sitting there next to me, Mike and Tre', I literally jumped right up.
"Rene'e!" I yelled wildly, standing up off the bed and grabbing her. I felt like something had been pulled from my arm, but I ignored it.
"Billie!" she smiled so happily and hugged me. For a few seconds we were hugging each other. I felt like a kid, leaning down on my knees and holding her in my arms.
An immediate, loud beeping sound came from one of the machines, and the heart monitor was racing at a million beats per second.
"What's going on?!?" Tre' yelled, freaked out.
"Billie, your IV's! You're IV's! You pulled them out!" Mike yelled.
Tre' ran as fast as the speed of light out of the hospital room and came back with a nurse.
But the thing was... I felt fine.
"Ohh geez, not again." The nurse shook her head. She ordered me to lay back down on the bed, and I did too, after glancing to look at Rene'e. She seemed very scared.
The nurse, without warning, took the IV and shoved it carefully under my left wrist, and the other beneath my right elbow.
"Ah!" I cried out in pain.
"You're okay. You won't have these in for very long it looks... Especially if you have enough energy to jump out of bed like that," the nurse smiled a bit before fading away...
Again I begun to drift off...
