What Are You Going To Do, Billie?...Kill Me?, chapter 12
"Me?"
"Yeah...You," she said as she looked down, she hoped that he wouldn't of forgotten her. Because she didn't forget him.
"But what about me being nothing to you?" he said, taken back by what she was saying.
"I never ment that, it was a lie..." She never did meen that, Billie was on her mind all the time. " I could I meen that?...The time we spent meens more that nothing, it's a whole fucking year. The thing is Billie, you everything to me..." She had to say that, it was true, everything she said, was true. She looked down, she thought that she might need him. But would he need her?
"Kelly..." he said, trying to get her to look up at him. He felt this big rush of guilt just over take him. Just looking at her gave him that feeling, it was a whole year he spent with Kelly. That time ment so much to him, and the time made him feel stronger for her everythime he was with her, he didn't want to throw that away.
"Billie...I love you." A big shock pumped in his body. She kept her face down, she wasn't sure of what he was going to say back. And that was what scared her.
Nothing was said, Billie just let her look down. He looked down to her hands, her fingers neviously twidling around as she kept her eyes to the ground. He slid his hand down her arm, when it got to her hand he sliped his hand in hers. She closed her eyes for a second, remembering how it felt when he did that along time ago.
She lifted her eyes to his, he saw dark brown. He brought his lips up to her ear.
"I love you too," he whispered. He pulled his lips away from her ear, she had a smile, one of those smiles you just can't take away. She never stopped feeling that way for him, it just came naturely. He sweetly smiled back, before he pressed his lips softly against hers. They pulled away...
"Billie, I don't wanna throw away the whole time we have spent together...I'm not going to forget you and let you slip away from me."
"I'm not going anywhere, I'll always be here. I'll always be here for you."
***
Kelly drove her car down the empty street, feeling that she needed to do something. She needed to fix it up, she didn't want to be that way to her...To Cali.
She parked her car in the drive way of Cali's house.
She walked up to the front door and knocked on it, while she waited for it to get anwsered she looked down to the other houses, and to where Billie's was. She knew he would be sleeping at this time. It was only 11AM.
"Hello?" She saw a tall, big built man saw after opening the door.
"Um, hello...I'm Kelly, one of Cali's friends, is she here?"
"Oh, Cali is in bording school, down in Berekely." Kelly was just about to say 'What the fuck?' But she stopped.
"I see, well sorry for coming...Bye."
*
Kelly walked down the empty hallway, following one of the teachers of the bording school. She needed to make things straight with Cali.
"This is her room, she should be studing right now, so you don't have long." The teacher said to Kelly, as the teacher walked away she rolled her eyes.
She neriously knocked on the door. It opened after a few seconds.
"Hi?" a girl with bleached blonde hair said.
"Ah hi..." Kelly said while looking the girl up and down, she looked real preppy. "Where's Cali?" The girl rolled her eyes.
"She is in the bathroom down the hall, I'm Katie if you wanted to know..." Katie said with an angry tone.
"Oh yeah, I really wanted to know your name...Get fucked, I didn't ask you preppy whore." Kelly walked away from the door, and walked away from Katie who had a stund look on her face.
Kelly walked down the hall until she found the bathroom.
"Don't put it in my eye!" She heard some yell out, then there was someone else laughing. She knocked on the door. The door opened.
"Kelly?" Kelly's eyes opened up wide. The Cali was...with bright green hair, that was really shiny.
"Um hi, why is your hair green?" Cali let Kelly into the bathroom, there was another girl who was holding a hair dryer.
"I'm making touble, I wanna get out of her..This is Anna, what are you doing here?" Cali ask, kinda shocked to see her.
"Well, I kinda need to talk to you about something..."
"I'll be in my room Cali, nice meeting ya Kelly..."Anna walked passed Kelly, Kelly gave her a smile. Cali put her hair up in a messy pony tail and turned to Kelly.
"So what is it that you have to talk to me about?" Kelly looked down and then back up.
"I need to set things straight with us, I know we don't like eachother and we have been in a fight abd stuff, but i still need to sort it out..." Cali smiled.
"I think we should too, I don't really wanna fight with someone over a guy..Not that i like Billie in that was." Cali said quickly. Kelly smiled weakly.
"So I wanna say sorry for being such an asshole..."
"I'm sorry about saying all that shit, and being a complet idiot to someone I hardly knew..." Cali said with a smile.
"So we're sorted out?" Kelly asked. Cali nodded, she didn't want to fight with Kelly. She really didn't want to have regrets about it. After all she was fine with Billie.
"Yeah we are." Cali put out her hand. "Friends?" Kelly grinned.
"Friends," they both laughed and shook each other's hands.
"So like my hair, I like it. Green is kinda my colour don't you think?" Cali said sarcasticly, giving her hair a toos, in a preppy way. Kelly laughed.
"It's awsumness, I think I'm going to dye mine blue one day..." Cali laughed.
"You can't stay here long right? They said that didn't they...I'm ment to be reading a book, but fuck it..." Kelly laughed again.
"Yep, i only have 5 minutes...I told them that your antie got sick and that i was your sister and i had to tell you," Cali bursted out in laughter.
"Smart thinking," Kelly grinned. "Hey, um...Are you going to Gilman on Saturday? 'Cause me and Anna are sneaking out, i was wondering if you wanted to come..." Kelly smiled.
"Yeah i am going, with Billie..." Cali looked down. "We're back together, so we're going there, 'cause he is playing." It felt like Cali just got punched in the stomack, Sshe wasn't mad at Kelly...Billie was the one she felt mad at and hurt by. And she could say anything about it, she just wouldn't accept what she was saying. But she had no choice. She couldn't say anything, so she didn't.
"Oh, that's cool. I hope you stay with him, he is a nice guy..." Kelly smiled.
"Thanks, if ya want...I can come pick you up on Saturday, and we can go to gilman and watch Green Day?" Cali smiled. She thought that Kelly was actually a pretty cool person.
"That would be great."
***
Saturday slowly came for Cali, she got to know Anna pretty well. And the teachers weren't that impressed with Cali's new hair do. But she liked it all the same, and Katie had told her about meeting Kelly, she laughed at Katie and called her a preepy whore, then Katie went and told the teachers, getting Cali into more trouble. Which she also didn't mind, after all her plan was to get expelled from the place.
"Shhh Cali!" Anna hised at Cali as they ran across the dark school grass area, it was now 10 PM and both Anna and Cali had got out of their rooms.
"Okay, okay...Just keep running!" Cali hised back, they finaly go to the school gates. They were out of breath, but they didn't get caught. If they did, they would be sent back to their rooms.
"Where is she?" Anna asked, Cali looked down the street and p the street, looking for any sign of Kellys car. It was sodark she couldn't see hardly anything.
"I don't know, I can't see anything..." Then there was 2 flashed of light come from the otherside of the road. Car lights...
Cali smiled. "There she is, where is the broken bit of the fence?"
"It's somewhere here," Anna walked along trying to find the bent fence poll so that they could get out through it.
Then, Cali saw the school lights turn on.
"SHIT! THEY KNOW WE'RE GONE! QUICK!" Cali yelled out, Anna quickly rushed to find the bent poll.
"HERE IT IS!" Anna yelled out. Cali ran over to her, then she started to see torch lights go around near the school.
"Shit! Go, go, go!" Anna quickly went throught the gates, and then Cali rushed out. They ran across the road, the torch lights getting closer, really fast.
They both jumped inside the car.
"GO! QUICK!" Anna instructed Kelly, Kelly pushed down in the exelerater and the car skidded and flow down the street.
"Thank fuck for that!" Cali said while laughing.
"Holy shit Cali!" Cali looked to the front seat and saw Megan. Kelly was driving really fast.
"Megan!"
"You got away just in time," Kelly said.
"I know, if they caught us, we would get locked up." Anna said. They all laughed.
"Well you going now, thanks to my driving..." Kelly said with a laugh.
The finaly drove away from the school.
"O.k,who wants to hear abit of Knowledge before we get there?...I think Op ivy are playing tonight." Megan said. She put the tape in ans the song started to play. Cali loved that song, she could relate to it.
"ALL I KNOW IS THAT I DON'T KNOW!" They all sang, Anna laughed and sang along. "WHAT'CHA GONNA DO WITH YOURSELF!" They kept singing, Kelly stopped at the stop lights. They waited for the light to go green, and the soung ended.
"Speaking of green, what's with your hair Cali?" Megan asked. Cali grinned.
"I dyed it for her, I like the colour, " Anna said.
"I know, I felt like abit of a change...Oh and to get in trouble," Cali said, Megan laughed.
"Hey Megan...You did bring the weed right?" Megan nodded. Cali felt this sudden urge to get high, get away from reality...Go far away from where she was.
"OH MY GOD! CAN I HAVE SOME?! IT'S BEEN AGES SINCE I HAD IT LAST!" Anna screamed out, abit to excited.
"Yeah sure," Megan said.
Once they had got to Gilman, Kelly parked out the front where there was a space and they all got out, eger to see the bands and get into that atmosphere they loved so much, espeicaly Cali.
"I'll see you guys later, I have to go see where Billie is," Kelly said, then she went off.
"Hey Megan...Can I have some stuff before we go in?" Cali asked, Megan nodded and pulled out a brown paper bag that was folded up in her pocket.
"And me too?" Anna said.
"Yes, jesus I aint no drug dealer..." Megan said, both Cali and Anna laughed.
About 3 joints later, Cali was inside the Gilman, moshing around with people she didn't know, since the group of girls got seperated.
The music stopped. And another band came on, Cali could barly see who it was. And she was feeling out of place from all the weed. She swayed back and forth as the persons voice yelled out to the croud, she couldn't take in what they were saying, it felt like they were speaking anothe laungage.
"At the library!" She heard them scream, she understood. The song started to play and people started to get more agressive. She got pushed around, feeling a bit sea sick. She stumbled out of the croud to the back, she stood there swaying again, listening to the words that were sung. Some of the word made sence to her, like it actually happened to her and that the song was just telling a story of its own.
She had to sit down, her legs were starting to cave in, she stumbled over to the wall and sat down, she closed her eyes and then she couldn't open them.
"Cali! Cali wake up!" Her eyes opened up slowly, she still didn't feel sober, she had passed out for a half hour. She saw a blure vision of Tre trying to get her to stand up.
"Aw Tre!" She said swaying back and forth, it was like she was sea sick.
He lent her up against the wall, so that she was standing up. She looked into his eyes, barly seeing anything at all. The she forced her lips up against his, pushing his head closer to hers, he pulled away from her.
"Cali, I can't..." Her head dropped forward and then she pushed it back up.
"What the fuck! Why not ha?! Aren't I good enough for me?!" she said, she just couldn't put the owrds together.
"Cali your off you face!" Tre yelled out, she pushed him back. She fell to the floor.
"Fuck you then! I don't know it!" She said again, not making much sence. "I don't need you!" Tre stood there.
He felt hurt by it.
She maybe drunk, but it still hurt him. He walked away from her, he didn't need her shit at that time.
She stood herself up and stumbled over to the doors and made her way out, once she was outside, she got out another joint and lit it up. She took in more of the hazy smoke, making her feel more and more sick with every drag. She slid down the wall, her head dropping down but she lifted it back up, she didn't want to pass out again. Her head swayed back and forth, she heard footsteps coming so she threw away the joint.
She forced her legs to push herself up, she lent against the wall for a second before it calapsed back down. But before she could fall back down, someone held her up.
"Cali?...What the hell are you doing here?" Her eyes slowly opened, everything was a swirly.
"I'm away from school. Fun, I'm having fun..." she said trying to recognise the person.
"Your going to pass out," she knew the voice.
"Who is that? Is that you grandma?"
"It's not grandma...It's Billie," Cali reacted slowly.
"Oh, it's you..." Billie tried to keep jer from falling. "You hurt me, Billie is bad, he hurts people that do stuff..." She slurd, he felt sorry for her. She just looked harmless and like no one could help her.
"No, I know hurt you but-"
"-But what?! You wanna sleep with me?! You wanna use me?! You wanna make me feel stuff for you?!" She yelled out, like a voilent drunk. "Well, you know what? I have been hurt to many FUCKING times! But now i know that all i am is a dirty bitch who acts like a slut when she's stoned!-"
"You're not a fucking slut!-"
"Yes I am! When I am around you it feels like I'm blind! It's like I can't see when I'm with you! You blind me! And then I start to feel as though it's only you and me!"
He stood there, his body just froze...
"Yeah...You," she said as she looked down, she hoped that he wouldn't of forgotten her. Because she didn't forget him.
"But what about me being nothing to you?" he said, taken back by what she was saying.
"I never ment that, it was a lie..." She never did meen that, Billie was on her mind all the time. " I could I meen that?...The time we spent meens more that nothing, it's a whole fucking year. The thing is Billie, you everything to me..." She had to say that, it was true, everything she said, was true. She looked down, she thought that she might need him. But would he need her?
"Kelly..." he said, trying to get her to look up at him. He felt this big rush of guilt just over take him. Just looking at her gave him that feeling, it was a whole year he spent with Kelly. That time ment so much to him, and the time made him feel stronger for her everythime he was with her, he didn't want to throw that away.
"Billie...I love you." A big shock pumped in his body. She kept her face down, she wasn't sure of what he was going to say back. And that was what scared her.
Nothing was said, Billie just let her look down. He looked down to her hands, her fingers neviously twidling around as she kept her eyes to the ground. He slid his hand down her arm, when it got to her hand he sliped his hand in hers. She closed her eyes for a second, remembering how it felt when he did that along time ago.
She lifted her eyes to his, he saw dark brown. He brought his lips up to her ear.
"I love you too," he whispered. He pulled his lips away from her ear, she had a smile, one of those smiles you just can't take away. She never stopped feeling that way for him, it just came naturely. He sweetly smiled back, before he pressed his lips softly against hers. They pulled away...
"Billie, I don't wanna throw away the whole time we have spent together...I'm not going to forget you and let you slip away from me."
"I'm not going anywhere, I'll always be here. I'll always be here for you."
***
Kelly drove her car down the empty street, feeling that she needed to do something. She needed to fix it up, she didn't want to be that way to her...To Cali.
She parked her car in the drive way of Cali's house.
She walked up to the front door and knocked on it, while she waited for it to get anwsered she looked down to the other houses, and to where Billie's was. She knew he would be sleeping at this time. It was only 11AM.
"Hello?" She saw a tall, big built man saw after opening the door.
"Um, hello...I'm Kelly, one of Cali's friends, is she here?"
"Oh, Cali is in bording school, down in Berekely." Kelly was just about to say 'What the fuck?' But she stopped.
"I see, well sorry for coming...Bye."
*
Kelly walked down the empty hallway, following one of the teachers of the bording school. She needed to make things straight with Cali.
"This is her room, she should be studing right now, so you don't have long." The teacher said to Kelly, as the teacher walked away she rolled her eyes.
She neriously knocked on the door. It opened after a few seconds.
"Hi?" a girl with bleached blonde hair said.
"Ah hi..." Kelly said while looking the girl up and down, she looked real preppy. "Where's Cali?" The girl rolled her eyes.
"She is in the bathroom down the hall, I'm Katie if you wanted to know..." Katie said with an angry tone.
"Oh yeah, I really wanted to know your name...Get fucked, I didn't ask you preppy whore." Kelly walked away from the door, and walked away from Katie who had a stund look on her face.
Kelly walked down the hall until she found the bathroom.
"Don't put it in my eye!" She heard some yell out, then there was someone else laughing. She knocked on the door. The door opened.
"Kelly?" Kelly's eyes opened up wide. The Cali was...with bright green hair, that was really shiny.
"Um hi, why is your hair green?" Cali let Kelly into the bathroom, there was another girl who was holding a hair dryer.
"I'm making touble, I wanna get out of her..This is Anna, what are you doing here?" Cali ask, kinda shocked to see her.
"Well, I kinda need to talk to you about something..."
"I'll be in my room Cali, nice meeting ya Kelly..."Anna walked passed Kelly, Kelly gave her a smile. Cali put her hair up in a messy pony tail and turned to Kelly.
"So what is it that you have to talk to me about?" Kelly looked down and then back up.
"I need to set things straight with us, I know we don't like eachother and we have been in a fight abd stuff, but i still need to sort it out..." Cali smiled.
"I think we should too, I don't really wanna fight with someone over a guy..Not that i like Billie in that was." Cali said quickly. Kelly smiled weakly.
"So I wanna say sorry for being such an asshole..."
"I'm sorry about saying all that shit, and being a complet idiot to someone I hardly knew..." Cali said with a smile.
"So we're sorted out?" Kelly asked. Cali nodded, she didn't want to fight with Kelly. She really didn't want to have regrets about it. After all she was fine with Billie.
"Yeah we are." Cali put out her hand. "Friends?" Kelly grinned.
"Friends," they both laughed and shook each other's hands.
"So like my hair, I like it. Green is kinda my colour don't you think?" Cali said sarcasticly, giving her hair a toos, in a preppy way. Kelly laughed.
"It's awsumness, I think I'm going to dye mine blue one day..." Cali laughed.
"You can't stay here long right? They said that didn't they...I'm ment to be reading a book, but fuck it..." Kelly laughed again.
"Yep, i only have 5 minutes...I told them that your antie got sick and that i was your sister and i had to tell you," Cali bursted out in laughter.
"Smart thinking," Kelly grinned. "Hey, um...Are you going to Gilman on Saturday? 'Cause me and Anna are sneaking out, i was wondering if you wanted to come..." Kelly smiled.
"Yeah i am going, with Billie..." Cali looked down. "We're back together, so we're going there, 'cause he is playing." It felt like Cali just got punched in the stomack, Sshe wasn't mad at Kelly...Billie was the one she felt mad at and hurt by. And she could say anything about it, she just wouldn't accept what she was saying. But she had no choice. She couldn't say anything, so she didn't.
"Oh, that's cool. I hope you stay with him, he is a nice guy..." Kelly smiled.
"Thanks, if ya want...I can come pick you up on Saturday, and we can go to gilman and watch Green Day?" Cali smiled. She thought that Kelly was actually a pretty cool person.
"That would be great."
***
Saturday slowly came for Cali, she got to know Anna pretty well. And the teachers weren't that impressed with Cali's new hair do. But she liked it all the same, and Katie had told her about meeting Kelly, she laughed at Katie and called her a preepy whore, then Katie went and told the teachers, getting Cali into more trouble. Which she also didn't mind, after all her plan was to get expelled from the place.
"Shhh Cali!" Anna hised at Cali as they ran across the dark school grass area, it was now 10 PM and both Anna and Cali had got out of their rooms.
"Okay, okay...Just keep running!" Cali hised back, they finaly go to the school gates. They were out of breath, but they didn't get caught. If they did, they would be sent back to their rooms.
"Where is she?" Anna asked, Cali looked down the street and p the street, looking for any sign of Kellys car. It was sodark she couldn't see hardly anything.
"I don't know, I can't see anything..." Then there was 2 flashed of light come from the otherside of the road. Car lights...
Cali smiled. "There she is, where is the broken bit of the fence?"
"It's somewhere here," Anna walked along trying to find the bent fence poll so that they could get out through it.
Then, Cali saw the school lights turn on.
"SHIT! THEY KNOW WE'RE GONE! QUICK!" Cali yelled out, Anna quickly rushed to find the bent poll.
"HERE IT IS!" Anna yelled out. Cali ran over to her, then she started to see torch lights go around near the school.
"Shit! Go, go, go!" Anna quickly went throught the gates, and then Cali rushed out. They ran across the road, the torch lights getting closer, really fast.
They both jumped inside the car.
"GO! QUICK!" Anna instructed Kelly, Kelly pushed down in the exelerater and the car skidded and flow down the street.
"Thank fuck for that!" Cali said while laughing.
"Holy shit Cali!" Cali looked to the front seat and saw Megan. Kelly was driving really fast.
"Megan!"
"You got away just in time," Kelly said.
"I know, if they caught us, we would get locked up." Anna said. They all laughed.
"Well you going now, thanks to my driving..." Kelly said with a laugh.
The finaly drove away from the school.
"O.k,who wants to hear abit of Knowledge before we get there?...I think Op ivy are playing tonight." Megan said. She put the tape in ans the song started to play. Cali loved that song, she could relate to it.
"ALL I KNOW IS THAT I DON'T KNOW!" They all sang, Anna laughed and sang along. "WHAT'CHA GONNA DO WITH YOURSELF!" They kept singing, Kelly stopped at the stop lights. They waited for the light to go green, and the soung ended.
"Speaking of green, what's with your hair Cali?" Megan asked. Cali grinned.
"I dyed it for her, I like the colour, " Anna said.
"I know, I felt like abit of a change...Oh and to get in trouble," Cali said, Megan laughed.
"Hey Megan...You did bring the weed right?" Megan nodded. Cali felt this sudden urge to get high, get away from reality...Go far away from where she was.
"OH MY GOD! CAN I HAVE SOME?! IT'S BEEN AGES SINCE I HAD IT LAST!" Anna screamed out, abit to excited.
"Yeah sure," Megan said.
Once they had got to Gilman, Kelly parked out the front where there was a space and they all got out, eger to see the bands and get into that atmosphere they loved so much, espeicaly Cali.
"I'll see you guys later, I have to go see where Billie is," Kelly said, then she went off.
"Hey Megan...Can I have some stuff before we go in?" Cali asked, Megan nodded and pulled out a brown paper bag that was folded up in her pocket.
"And me too?" Anna said.
"Yes, jesus I aint no drug dealer..." Megan said, both Cali and Anna laughed.
About 3 joints later, Cali was inside the Gilman, moshing around with people she didn't know, since the group of girls got seperated.
The music stopped. And another band came on, Cali could barly see who it was. And she was feeling out of place from all the weed. She swayed back and forth as the persons voice yelled out to the croud, she couldn't take in what they were saying, it felt like they were speaking anothe laungage.
"At the library!" She heard them scream, she understood. The song started to play and people started to get more agressive. She got pushed around, feeling a bit sea sick. She stumbled out of the croud to the back, she stood there swaying again, listening to the words that were sung. Some of the word made sence to her, like it actually happened to her and that the song was just telling a story of its own.
She had to sit down, her legs were starting to cave in, she stumbled over to the wall and sat down, she closed her eyes and then she couldn't open them.
"Cali! Cali wake up!" Her eyes opened up slowly, she still didn't feel sober, she had passed out for a half hour. She saw a blure vision of Tre trying to get her to stand up.
"Aw Tre!" She said swaying back and forth, it was like she was sea sick.
He lent her up against the wall, so that she was standing up. She looked into his eyes, barly seeing anything at all. The she forced her lips up against his, pushing his head closer to hers, he pulled away from her.
"Cali, I can't..." Her head dropped forward and then she pushed it back up.
"What the fuck! Why not ha?! Aren't I good enough for me?!" she said, she just couldn't put the owrds together.
"Cali your off you face!" Tre yelled out, she pushed him back. She fell to the floor.
"Fuck you then! I don't know it!" She said again, not making much sence. "I don't need you!" Tre stood there.
He felt hurt by it.
She maybe drunk, but it still hurt him. He walked away from her, he didn't need her shit at that time.
She stood herself up and stumbled over to the doors and made her way out, once she was outside, she got out another joint and lit it up. She took in more of the hazy smoke, making her feel more and more sick with every drag. She slid down the wall, her head dropping down but she lifted it back up, she didn't want to pass out again. Her head swayed back and forth, she heard footsteps coming so she threw away the joint.
She forced her legs to push herself up, she lent against the wall for a second before it calapsed back down. But before she could fall back down, someone held her up.
"Cali?...What the hell are you doing here?" Her eyes slowly opened, everything was a swirly.
"I'm away from school. Fun, I'm having fun..." she said trying to recognise the person.
"Your going to pass out," she knew the voice.
"Who is that? Is that you grandma?"
"It's not grandma...It's Billie," Cali reacted slowly.
"Oh, it's you..." Billie tried to keep jer from falling. "You hurt me, Billie is bad, he hurts people that do stuff..." She slurd, he felt sorry for her. She just looked harmless and like no one could help her.
"No, I know hurt you but-"
"-But what?! You wanna sleep with me?! You wanna use me?! You wanna make me feel stuff for you?!" She yelled out, like a voilent drunk. "Well, you know what? I have been hurt to many FUCKING times! But now i know that all i am is a dirty bitch who acts like a slut when she's stoned!-"
"You're not a fucking slut!-"
"Yes I am! When I am around you it feels like I'm blind! It's like I can't see when I'm with you! You blind me! And then I start to feel as though it's only you and me!"
He stood there, his body just froze...
