What Are You Going To Do, Billie?...Kill Me?, chapter 8
They heard someone scream...
"It's Tre!" Billie said in a whisper. They quickly steped away from eachother, they heard him coming up the stairs. Cali didn't want to say anything, more like she couldn't speak. She thought on her feet and quickly stood infront of the mirror pretending to look at her busted lip. Billie shoved his hands in his pockets and walked out of the bathroom acting like everything was normal.
"Hey Bill..Where's Cali?" Tre asked once he got to the top of the stairs. Billie bit his bottom lip, the nerves and guilt building up inside of him.
"She's in there, what was all the fucks for?"
Cali stood in the bathroom, praying that Tre wouldn't find out.
What kind of girlfriend is she? She kissed another guy on the same day she and Tre were got 'together'.
"Those fucking beer cans every where! Fell over the fucker.." She heard Tre explain, she looked at her self in mirror.
She felt guilt rush through her..Tre didn't deserve the shit she did to him, he's a nice guy. And he doesn't need to find about what she did, he deserves to have someone who won't do that.
And that's why she is going to stay with him.
"Yeah..Gotta clean that shit up before mom comes home..She'll go fucking ape,"
Billie said while looking at Cali in the corner of his eye. All he was thinking was how much shit he caused her.
"I'll help ya clean up," Billie nodded and thanked him. Tre looked into the bathroom, Cali saw him and jumped and went back to 'looking' at her lip.
"You o.k?" Tre said steping in.
"Hey..Um..I'll be down stairs if you need me." Billie said, they both nodded. He started walking down stairs, but got caught up in what Tre was saying to Cali. So he stood there leaning his back against the wall as he listened.
"I'm fine Tre..I don't need a doctor," He heard her laugh.
"Well if you're fine..You wanna come by my place..And you know..Hand out?" Billie then knew that Cali and Tre were having a thing for eachother. It made the guilt stronger.
"I can't...I have school tomorrow and my dad is going to go all fucked up if i don't go home,"
"Ohh come on, just this once.."
He heard her laugh. He felt a smile creep on his face, just hearing her felt like a drug to him. That over baring voice shouted at Billie in his mind, and the smile dissappeared.
"How about this..After school tomorrow, you can come pick me up and we'll hang out..O.k?" The there was silence. Billie knew what they were doing, he quickly went down the stairs and ran into the garage.
Tre lifted his lips off Cali's.
"Sounds like a plan.." He said, Cali wrapped in his arms. She smiled and kissed him softly on the cheek.
"You better come pick me up," She said bitting her bottom lip. He let go off her, and stood back with a ' what the fuck ' look on his face. Cali laughed.
"Oh so you think i'm some kind off loser who says they'll do something but doesn't?" He said with a fake offened look on his face.
"Yes..Yes i do," He playfully rolled his eyes.
"Oh shit! We have to help Bill clean up..Unless you don't want to.." She nodded.
"It's o.k..I'll help," They both steped out of the bathroom and made their way down the stairs, giggling and fooling around on the way.
"BILLIE?!" Tre called out, "He must be in garage.." He said once there wasn't an anwser, Cali shrugged and followed Tre as he led her to the garage.
Tre opened the door and looked in.
"Hey..What ya doin'?" Tre asked as they walked down the steps. Billie was slumped down into the ratty old couch that was up against the wall. The table infront of him pilled with bongs and butts of ciggerettes. He had a joint hanging out the corner of his mouth as his hands played his blue sticker filled guitar.
"Nothin' just smoke'n..." Billie said as he stoped playing his guitar. Cali and Tre stood infront of him, Cali sliped her hand in Tres..Giving Billie a hint that her and Tre were together. She looked down once she saw the look on Billies face. It was a guitly look, one she was wearing aswell.
"That was a great tune..What's it called?" Tre asked.
"Oh just some crap i wrote..It's kinda weird.." Billie said as he got up and put blue down in its place, he took the last smoke from the joint and chucked the butt onto the table.
"It didn't sound like crao to me..What's it called?" As Tre kept to the topic Cali was drifting into her own world.
"Chump..I don't think we'll play it live or anything," The song name brought Cali back into the real world. She remembered saying he was one, she shrugged it off.
"Well let's get a cleaning!" Tre shout out, wanting to get home and sleep."Well let's split up..I'll clean up down here and shit, Cali you can clean up stairs around the bedrooms and Billie boy you can clean up around the kitchen and crap..Done? Done! O.k let's start.."
"Yes mam!" Billie said as he walked up the steps.
"I'll meet ya back here.." Cali said once Billie had left. Tre winked and started cleaning all the crap that was on the floor.
Cali walked up the steps. She walked strait passed Billie who was cleaning, they didn't say anything but when Cali put her foot on the first step he spoke.
"Thanks for helping..." She turned around and weakly smiled. He looked at her and kept cleaning.
She walked up the stairs and looked around at how messed up the house got.
She started to pick up beer cans and clothes that people have thrown around. She as she walked down the hall she looked at the photos that were hunging from the wall, there was heaps of photos of Billie and his brothers and sisters, Cali ahd seen them before. But when she waslike 10.
She kept wlaking down the hall until she got to a door. It was cloded and had stickers all over it..One of the stickers read 'Jesus is fuck'n metal' She softly laughed, she opened the door. As she looked in 2 bodies shot up from the bed, she flicked on the lights and started to laugh hard. She knew who the 2 people were.
One was Mike.
And the other Cali's friend from school..Her name was Liza.
"Oh sorry..Um..we were..Ah just..Um talking!" Mike said as he took a step away from Liza, his face turning red.
"The party ended dudes, and don't worry..I ain't your mom..I'm just surprised you still have your clothes on.." Cali said through the laughter.
"Oh..Um.."Liza said looking down, Mike coughed and put his jacket on.
"Well i have to take Liza home.." Mike said taking her hand.
"See ya at school tomorrow Cali." Liza said shyly as she walked passed her.
"See ya!" Once Liza and Mike were gone Cali looked aroung the room. It was messier then all the other rooms. She looked at the posters on the walls. The Ramones, Sex Pistols, The Clash and other bands were posted up.
"Must be Billies room," She mumbled as she tried to walked through the stuff on the floor. His bed sheets were every where and clothes were thrown all over the place, she saw a pack of ciggerettes on the bed side table. "Fuck cleaning this up.." She said giving up, she walked pver to the pack of ciggerettes and picked it taking one out. She saw a peice of paper, she picked it up and read what was writen on it.
Dry Ice . She read it..It sounded like he really wanted to be with someone.
Kelly she thought.
She put the paper back where it was and same with the ciggerettes. She picked up a lighter and lit up the ciggerette she stole.
She saw the window and went over and opened it and smoked, she looked down.
It was just a one time thing..It won't happen again..Fuck Cali! What's your fucking problem!? . She said to herself, then she felt like all the blood in her body had rushed her head. Now she had the biggest fucking head ache..
"Hey.." She was startled by Billie, her head shot up and hit the window.
"Fuck!" She said sticking her head back in, he couldn't help but laugh. She rubbed her head. The ciggerette still inbetween her fingers. "Hey.."
He walked over and grabbed a ciggerette.
"Oh sorry..Hope you don't mind.." She said taking a drag of her smoke.
"Na it's cool.." He said lighting up his own. They both stood there in silents, then both of them went to say something. "You go first," He insisted.
"About before.." She started, bitting her bottom lip. He looked down, smoking as he waiting for her to continue. "That can't happen again..I really do like Tre..And i feel guilty enough..And you and Kelly." He shrugged and took another drag of the smoke. As did she, with her head pounding.
"I don't know why..that happened..And i know it's not going to happen again,"
She looked at the wall, and took another drag. Silents fell over both of them, what could they say next? was there really anything to say?
"I'm going to forget about it..." She said, he looked up.
"Me too..I just do fucked up things that fuck everything up,"
"Not about that..About the way you treated me," He raised an eyebrow, she threw the butt out the window. "I'm going to forget that you even did that to me..I'm going to forget about you," He looked down. Felling empty.Nothing.
"Doesn't matter to me..Everyone forgets me," She felt sorry, but shock it away.
"It's best if we just forget that we even know eachother," She said as she started to walk away. But as she walked passed him and to the door he stoped her.
"I'm still sorry..I really was a chump, but i'm not now." He said, trying to make things change between the 2 of them. She weakly smiling.
"Bye..."
***
She woke up, her head now killing her more then what it did the day before. The alarm clock making her ears ache. She slamed down on it and got herself up, she stumbled out of the room. Still in yesterdays clothes, as she went into the bathroom and got ready to have a shower she tried to scrap up memories of what happened at the party. She remembered the smoke Megan gave her and some of the fight she had with Kelly, but most of those memories were the ones of her rolling on the grass trying to rip Kellys head off.
But as she kept remembering..
Doesn't matter to me..Everyone forgets me.
His voice rang in her mind, as she took a shower she felt as though her limbs were going to fall off.
I'm still sorry..I really was a chump, but i'm not now.
She sighed in frustration.
Just get out of my fucking head!. She screamed at herself.
The the kiss with him..She quickly turn the shower on cold and let it hit her body. She shoke the thought away...
Once she was finished getting ready, she went to school. Ready for another day of shit.
*
"Hey Billie!" Mike screamed out as he knocked on his closed bedroom door. "Wake up fucker!" He kept knocking. "School!" Mike sceamed.
Billie rolled over as he woke up.
"Fuck school!" He screamed back. Mike willing to go to school to finish what he started at school, so he could get somewhere, seeing as though they didn't have any plans for the future. Apart from playing music.
"Fine! I'm going!" Mike said as he walked down the stairs. Ollie greeted Mike with he good mornings and do you want coffee? Which he accepted. "What the hell is up with Billie Joe? He's acting all weird," Mike asked as he watched Ollie pour some coffee.
"I have no idea..But there is no use on getting him to go to school," She said, Mike sighed.
"Well i hope he gets back to normal.." Mike said taking the coffee. He thanked Ollie and then went off to school.
"Billie sugar! You want something to eat before i leave?" She asked knocking on the door. He kicked back the sheets and stood up, his head pounding.
He opened the door.
"It's o.k..I'll go get something from some where," He said stummbling past her.
"Well..O.k then...But just find something to do today!" She said walking down the stairs. "I'LL BE BACK AT 12 TONIGHT..BYE!" She said leaving for work.
He went into the bathroom and straight to the sink. He looked into the mirror, his relfection showing him how pale his face was, big bags under is eyes. Flash backs of the night before..Kissing Cali. Making a shiver run down his spin, but a huge rush of guilt hitting him. He plashed cold water on his face. Then he remembered that today was the day Kelly was coming over to hang out.
He didn't bother to shower, so he just got dress into a white shirt that was 2 sizes to big for him and some old ripped up jeans and his old burnt out converes.
He sat on his bed, running his hands threw his short redish brown hair.
His head lay in hands.
Why the fuck do you have to go doing that?! Fucking hell! You think of fucked up things Billie! He mentaly kicked himself. Was he was thinking about her..He wasn't ment to..He just kept argueing with himself.
He lit up a ciggerette and saw the song he had writen a few days ago.
"Dry Ice..I fucking feel like that right now.." He mumbled to himself as he read threw the lyrics. He took drags from his ciggerette. Thinking of what he did to Cali, the only reason he hit her was because he was high. Everyday at school he would smoke weed, but the drugs in him took a huge effect and made him go mad and hit people. He never ment to hit Cali...Sometimes he would even bash the crap out of Mike and Al..But he would always get bash up by them too.
But hitting Cali was different..She never did anything. Getting hit by that car was more saving him rather then talking his life.
Smoking weed won't take away the problems he had and has.
And that's what he found out. And it changed him, but it's too late. He couldn't change what he had done to her...
As he kept thinking about it he heard the door knock, he looked up to see Kelly stadning in the door way. With a devilish look on her face, she starte waking over to him.
"Hey baby," She said softly pushing him back down onto the bed, laying ontop of him. She kissed his lips.
"Hey.." He said inbetween kisses, she stoped and smiled.
"Didn't forget that iwas coming did you?..I skipped school to be here," He smiled weakly ans shoke his head. She saw that he was holding a peice of paper. "What's that?"
"It's nothing.." He said placing the paper down. She got up off of him and sat down on the bed as he lay there. She picked the paper up and begain to read it.
"Dry Ice?" He didn't want to say anything, the fact that,that was a love song and he didn't write it about her. Once she had finished reading it she looked over to him. "How come you didn't tell me about it? You mus of wrote it before we started going out.." She said putting it down. He bit his bottom lip and sat next to her,
She didn't need to be lied to.
"I wrote a few days ago.." He started, she looked at him confussed.
"What do you mean? It's says stuff about you wondering if your going to get rejected..I didn't reject you,"
He sighed,and stood up and looked away from her. "This is a love song.." She said.
"Yeah..It is.." He keep telling himself not to tell her, but she needed to know.
"Billie?"
"It's not about you..It's about Cali.." Silence filled the room.
*
The day had gone by for Cali, but in class she found herself not paying attention. All she could think about was going home and going to sleep.
But once the home bell went she ran out of the school, but this time she wasn't going to walk home.
She waited in front of the school gates for Tre. She smiled when she saw Tres van pull up.
She jumped in side and was greeted by a warm kiss by Tre.
"Hey..Do you mind if you stop by my house? Got take this shit home," She said looking at her school bag. He laughed.
"Okies,"
"So your the new drummer for sweet children?" She asked after Tre had told her.
"Yep! It's a fucking great band, i make it even better.." He said keeping his eyes on the road, she weakly smiled, happy for him but not so happy about Billie being in the band. Now there is always a chance she will get to see Billie.
He drove her to her house. She saw a car parked at the front of her house, she knew who the car belonged to.
"OH MY FUCKING GOD!" She screamed out excitedly. Tre looked at her like she was crazy.
"Yes..It's a car," She playfully punched him.
"I know! Wait here I'll be right back!" She said running out of the van and into her house. She ran into the front door and into the living room.
"ERINN AND LAUREN!" She screamed out, her 2 best friends that had moved away from Rodeo because they found an apartment to live at in Oakland. They all promised that when Cali got money she was going to live with them.
"Hey Cali!" Erinn yelled as she got up off the couch, Lauren did the same. They were greeting eachother and asking questions, since they haven't seen eachother for over a year.
"So dad let you wait here? Where the fuck is he?" Cali asked.
"He said he was going to work so he let us wait for you...His girlfriend is in the kitchen.." Lauren filled in. Cali rolled her eyes, She had only spoke to Lucy 2 times and she already hated her guts.
"She is so fucking retarded..I fucking hate her," Cali said in a whisper.
Her 2 best friends laughed. The Lucy came from the kitchen with a smuge look on her face.
"Hello.." She said as she made herself at home on the couch, Cali cleched her teeth.
"I see you've made yourself at home already..God..Why doesn't my dad know not to bring complete sluty strangers in my house," Cali said trying to piss Lcuy off..Which she did quit well, Laurn and Erinn bursted out laughing. Lucy dragged Cali into the kitchen, away from her friends.
"Your house? I own this house more than you do miss fucker!" She said standing right in front of Cali.
"Oh and how's that so?" She asked, clenching her fists.
"Your never here...And you won't be soon..I'll send you off to bording school..Remember your daddy loves me and he'll do what ever i saw.." She said with the devil smirk.
"Speaking of going out...I'm going now.." Cali said walking away. "Oh and one more thing! My dad doens't love you..So fuck you!" She said as she went away.
She asked Erinn and Lauren to come so they did, She intorduced them to Tre once they got in van. As Tre drove down the road he whispered to Cali.
"I thought this was just us hanging out?" She smiled.
"They're only here for a few days..I promise we'll have us time,"
He nodded and kept driving, not really knowing where to go. But Tre had a show to play at Gilman so they decided to hang out there.
Gilman was already packed with willing young missfit punks. The group all found their way into it.
"I've gotta go find Mike and Billie..I'll see ya after the show?" He said holding both of her hands. She nodded and kissed him on the cheek, he ran off in search for the othe band members.
"God you caught a fucking hot guy!" Lauren said taking in her where she was.
"I know! He's fucking awsume!"
"So he saved you when you passed out on the beach?" Erinn asked, making sure that what Cali had told was true.
"Yep! Good catch i think," She laughed.
And hour went by as the 3 girls caught up while drinking beer. It was only a few minutes until sweet children came on.
"So this Billie guy bashed you up, then he got hit by a car, then he said sorry and then you almost died falling off the roof and then you had a fight with his girlfriend and then kissed him?" Lauren asked in shock of what had happened..It all seemed abit too unreal.
"It's almost right..He kissed me..I really can't stand him..We're not talking to eachother anymore..It's just to fucked up, and it kinda freaks me out," Cali said. Erinn laughed.
"Oh how i would like to kick this guys ass!" Erinn yelled out. Cali giggled and watched as the croud started to get pumped up.
"Let's go in the mosh pit..Come on! I wanna see Tre!" Cali said as she started to go into the pit. Her friends followed. They made their way to the front by calling out things that made people move. The croud pushed and shoved and croud surfed, the Billie came running out on stage. Then Mike and then Tre.
"GO TRE!" Cali screamed out, then a bunch of other screams were heard.
Billie looked down to the croud once he heard someone scream that.
Once he saw Cali he almost froxe on the spot. He didn't want her to be there, he hated her..With a passion.
"HEY FUCKERS!" Billie called out, the croud of willing punks screamed and called out things. "Well as you all fucking know..Al has left the fucking band for fucking fucked up college..SOOOOO! We have a new and fucking better fucking drummer!
TRE COOL!" The croud went crazy. " And..And even fucking better we aint sweet children anymore!" The croud booed. "HOLD UP FUCKERS! this name is better!"
The croud went crazy.
"What's the fucking name then?!" Some random screamed out, Billie laughed.
"You want to know what the band name is?! YOU REALLY WANT TO KNOW?!" The croud screamed out yes, waiting for the name. "Well you'll fucking know what the band name is when our Lookout! produced LP comes out with the band name GREEN DAY!" The cround went more then crazy, there was screaming and yelling and pushing.
"GREEN DAY! GREEN DAY!" They all chanted the bay area slang for smoking weed all day.
"O.k. O.k..This is a new song..Called Dry Ice!"
The fist not was played and the croud started jumping around.
Cali couldn't help but like the song..Knowing that she was probly the first on to even know of it..Besides the band
She watched Tre go wild on the drums. He was the fucking best drummer she had ever seen, but her eyes led from Tre to Billie once his guitar solo played. She got sucked in at how amazing it was.
Once the song was over and they played there other songs, they left the croud screaming for more. Once they weren't even accepted but know everyone wanted more of what they had to offer.
"You know what's wrong with Bill? He seems all fucked up ans shit.." Tre asked Mike as they went to grab a beer.
"Kelly broke up with him..Don't know what over though..Poor guy, he really did like her."
Billie sat down on the dirty couch that was in the back part of gilman, he had a budwiser in his left hand and joint in the other. He kept on thinking about what he had won to Kelly, he was really missing her and wanted her back more then ever now. It was his 2nd joint for the night and he was now starting to feel of beat, everything was getting slower and his body didn't react to things. He stared into space as he drank and smoked.
"Bill! Snap out of it man!" Mike said waving his hand infront of his eyes. Billie looked at Mike, his body feeling like he had lead for blood. His vision blury and his mide out of wack.
"She said i was the love me.." Billie slurred. Mike looked at him with an eyebrow raised. Liza was with Mike and she stood behind him.
"Dude..I have to take Liza home..I'll see ya at home later..Tre will look after you..O.k?"
Billie swade and lit up another joint.
"Man this is sweet..Like Melly.." Mike laughed.
"Don't smoke too much..You'll drown yourself." Then Mike left to take his girlfriend,Liza home.
Tre had found Cali and her friends and brought them to where Billie was. By this time Billie was on his 5th joint and 7th budwiser.
He stared into space and started to see things, like Kelly.
"Melly the is ment for me.." He try to say once he thought he saw Tre, which he was right. Cali stood there talking to her friends. Cali told them that, that was Billie.
"We have to get ya home Billie.." Tre said Trying to get Billie on his feet.
"I wrote song for about you.." Billie said once he saw Cali, his eyes where squinted.
"If it weren't for me she wouls still be with you!" Tre tried to lift Billie up onto his feet buthe couldn't.
"Hey girls..Go wait in Tres van..Well be out there in a sec.." They nodded and went.
Cali went over and helped Tre.
"Fuck'n hell! He's fucking heavy!" Cali said as Tre slung one of Billies arms over his shoulder, Cali did the same with his other arm.
"I wrote a song.." Billie slurd and his feet were draginf along the floor as Cali and Tre heaved Billie.
"Yeah dude..You write songs, but you get too high aswell," Billies eyes felt heavy and started to close.
"Oh for fuck sake! Now he's going to fucking passed out!" Cali yelled. Tre laughed, he had seen Billie like this..But not as bad. He couldn't keep his eyes open anymore, Tre and Cali had dragged him out of gilman and to Tres van.
Once they had thrown Billie in the van they all drove off to Billies house.
Billie started to wake up abit.
"My names Jillie Boe.." He slured again. Cali looked into the back set, where Erinn and Lauren were.
"I'm going to fucking kill you Jillie Boe if you don't shut the fuck up you piss of shit!" Erinn yelled.
"What are you going to do?...Kill Jillie?!" His body feeling heavier and heavier.
They finaly got to Billies house.
"It's fine Tre..I'll just drag him to the door chuck him inside and go home..Just take these 2 biatchs to the hotel,"
"But what if he's too heavy and he falls on you and kills you?!" Tre said. Cali laughed and opened the door.
"Bye Erinn and Lauren! Don't sleep with my boyfriend!" She said getting out.
"Oh we will!" Erinn joked. Cali laughed and opened the back door where Billie was laying almost knocked out.
"If you do! Tre come and help me get him out!"
"Oh now you need my help!" Tre said getting out and running around to the back. He help her get him out.
"I'm only using you for when i need to lift drugged up guys.." She said sarcasticly, Tre help help her drag him over to the front door.
"I knew it! I'm only used for my strength, hotness and for the fact that i look like and or AM god!" She laughed.
"Yeah, yeah," They laid Billie down on the proch.
"I'll take them 2..See i do things for you..I'm a great boyfriend," He said smiling, she kissed him on the lips.
"Yes you are..And it's just a plus that your hot," He kissed her.
"HEY ARE WE GOING OR WHAT?!" They got cut off by Lauren screaming.
"Yeah yeah..WAIT !" Tre screamed back. Cali laughed, and kissed his cheek.
"I'll see ya tomorrow..Coz i'm coming around your place..I don't care what you say," She said, he laughed and hugged her.
"I don't mind..See ya tomorrow." With that Tre was out of sight.
She looked at Billie lying on the ground.
"Billie! Wake up!" She said shaking him, his eyes opened a crack.
"Me thinks..I know who you is," He slurded, she couldn't hold in, so she let out a giggle.
"Do you have keys to open the door?" He nodded and sat up, sway back and forth, he tried to satnd up but fail, she helped him up. His body weight leaning on her. "Where are your keys?" His head buried into her neck. She sighed in frustration, she faced him and his head fell onto her shoulder. She put her hand down his pocket and looked. He giggled, and moved his head.
"Your naughty.." She rolled her eyes. She felt the keys in his front pocket and took it out.
She lent him up against the door as she put the key into he door knob. "I write a song about you," He said with his eyes starting to close..Again.
"Oh really? What about?" She said trying to keep him awake.His knees couldn't hold him up and his wait was being pushed up against the door, so as soon as she opened the door they both fell to the ground. He fell down forst..Hard and then she came falling down landing right next to him.
She burst out laughing, it was funny.
He was giggling like a little girl. She turned her head and looked at him, his eyes could barly be seen.
She saw a glimer of green.
"It's called Dry Ice..Like forst.." She looked at him. A smile creeped on her face, she got up and then lifted him up.
After finaly dragging him to his room she dropped him down on the bed. But bring her down with him. "I'm scared the smerfs will come and get me..Stay!" He said, she looked at him like he was crazy and then she stood up.
"I'm sure the smerfs will eat you alive," She said rolling her eyes.
He sat up, swaying at first. He got her by her hands, and pulled her down so that she was ontop of him...
"It's Tre!" Billie said in a whisper. They quickly steped away from eachother, they heard him coming up the stairs. Cali didn't want to say anything, more like she couldn't speak. She thought on her feet and quickly stood infront of the mirror pretending to look at her busted lip. Billie shoved his hands in his pockets and walked out of the bathroom acting like everything was normal.
"Hey Bill..Where's Cali?" Tre asked once he got to the top of the stairs. Billie bit his bottom lip, the nerves and guilt building up inside of him.
"She's in there, what was all the fucks for?"
Cali stood in the bathroom, praying that Tre wouldn't find out.
What kind of girlfriend is she? She kissed another guy on the same day she and Tre were got 'together'.
"Those fucking beer cans every where! Fell over the fucker.." She heard Tre explain, she looked at her self in mirror.
She felt guilt rush through her..Tre didn't deserve the shit she did to him, he's a nice guy. And he doesn't need to find about what she did, he deserves to have someone who won't do that.
And that's why she is going to stay with him.
"Yeah..Gotta clean that shit up before mom comes home..She'll go fucking ape,"
Billie said while looking at Cali in the corner of his eye. All he was thinking was how much shit he caused her.
"I'll help ya clean up," Billie nodded and thanked him. Tre looked into the bathroom, Cali saw him and jumped and went back to 'looking' at her lip.
"You o.k?" Tre said steping in.
"Hey..Um..I'll be down stairs if you need me." Billie said, they both nodded. He started walking down stairs, but got caught up in what Tre was saying to Cali. So he stood there leaning his back against the wall as he listened.
"I'm fine Tre..I don't need a doctor," He heard her laugh.
"Well if you're fine..You wanna come by my place..And you know..Hand out?" Billie then knew that Cali and Tre were having a thing for eachother. It made the guilt stronger.
"I can't...I have school tomorrow and my dad is going to go all fucked up if i don't go home,"
"Ohh come on, just this once.."
He heard her laugh. He felt a smile creep on his face, just hearing her felt like a drug to him. That over baring voice shouted at Billie in his mind, and the smile dissappeared.
"How about this..After school tomorrow, you can come pick me up and we'll hang out..O.k?" The there was silence. Billie knew what they were doing, he quickly went down the stairs and ran into the garage.
Tre lifted his lips off Cali's.
"Sounds like a plan.." He said, Cali wrapped in his arms. She smiled and kissed him softly on the cheek.
"You better come pick me up," She said bitting her bottom lip. He let go off her, and stood back with a ' what the fuck ' look on his face. Cali laughed.
"Oh so you think i'm some kind off loser who says they'll do something but doesn't?" He said with a fake offened look on his face.
"Yes..Yes i do," He playfully rolled his eyes.
"Oh shit! We have to help Bill clean up..Unless you don't want to.." She nodded.
"It's o.k..I'll help," They both steped out of the bathroom and made their way down the stairs, giggling and fooling around on the way.
"BILLIE?!" Tre called out, "He must be in garage.." He said once there wasn't an anwser, Cali shrugged and followed Tre as he led her to the garage.
Tre opened the door and looked in.
"Hey..What ya doin'?" Tre asked as they walked down the steps. Billie was slumped down into the ratty old couch that was up against the wall. The table infront of him pilled with bongs and butts of ciggerettes. He had a joint hanging out the corner of his mouth as his hands played his blue sticker filled guitar.
"Nothin' just smoke'n..." Billie said as he stoped playing his guitar. Cali and Tre stood infront of him, Cali sliped her hand in Tres..Giving Billie a hint that her and Tre were together. She looked down once she saw the look on Billies face. It was a guitly look, one she was wearing aswell.
"That was a great tune..What's it called?" Tre asked.
"Oh just some crap i wrote..It's kinda weird.." Billie said as he got up and put blue down in its place, he took the last smoke from the joint and chucked the butt onto the table.
"It didn't sound like crao to me..What's it called?" As Tre kept to the topic Cali was drifting into her own world.
"Chump..I don't think we'll play it live or anything," The song name brought Cali back into the real world. She remembered saying he was one, she shrugged it off.
"Well let's get a cleaning!" Tre shout out, wanting to get home and sleep."Well let's split up..I'll clean up down here and shit, Cali you can clean up stairs around the bedrooms and Billie boy you can clean up around the kitchen and crap..Done? Done! O.k let's start.."
"Yes mam!" Billie said as he walked up the steps.
"I'll meet ya back here.." Cali said once Billie had left. Tre winked and started cleaning all the crap that was on the floor.
Cali walked up the steps. She walked strait passed Billie who was cleaning, they didn't say anything but when Cali put her foot on the first step he spoke.
"Thanks for helping..." She turned around and weakly smiled. He looked at her and kept cleaning.
She walked up the stairs and looked around at how messed up the house got.
She started to pick up beer cans and clothes that people have thrown around. She as she walked down the hall she looked at the photos that were hunging from the wall, there was heaps of photos of Billie and his brothers and sisters, Cali ahd seen them before. But when she waslike 10.
She kept wlaking down the hall until she got to a door. It was cloded and had stickers all over it..One of the stickers read 'Jesus is fuck'n metal' She softly laughed, she opened the door. As she looked in 2 bodies shot up from the bed, she flicked on the lights and started to laugh hard. She knew who the 2 people were.
One was Mike.
And the other Cali's friend from school..Her name was Liza.
"Oh sorry..Um..we were..Ah just..Um talking!" Mike said as he took a step away from Liza, his face turning red.
"The party ended dudes, and don't worry..I ain't your mom..I'm just surprised you still have your clothes on.." Cali said through the laughter.
"Oh..Um.."Liza said looking down, Mike coughed and put his jacket on.
"Well i have to take Liza home.." Mike said taking her hand.
"See ya at school tomorrow Cali." Liza said shyly as she walked passed her.
"See ya!" Once Liza and Mike were gone Cali looked aroung the room. It was messier then all the other rooms. She looked at the posters on the walls. The Ramones, Sex Pistols, The Clash and other bands were posted up.
"Must be Billies room," She mumbled as she tried to walked through the stuff on the floor. His bed sheets were every where and clothes were thrown all over the place, she saw a pack of ciggerettes on the bed side table. "Fuck cleaning this up.." She said giving up, she walked pver to the pack of ciggerettes and picked it taking one out. She saw a peice of paper, she picked it up and read what was writen on it.
Dry Ice . She read it..It sounded like he really wanted to be with someone.
Kelly she thought.
She put the paper back where it was and same with the ciggerettes. She picked up a lighter and lit up the ciggerette she stole.
She saw the window and went over and opened it and smoked, she looked down.
It was just a one time thing..It won't happen again..Fuck Cali! What's your fucking problem!? . She said to herself, then she felt like all the blood in her body had rushed her head. Now she had the biggest fucking head ache..
"Hey.." She was startled by Billie, her head shot up and hit the window.
"Fuck!" She said sticking her head back in, he couldn't help but laugh. She rubbed her head. The ciggerette still inbetween her fingers. "Hey.."
He walked over and grabbed a ciggerette.
"Oh sorry..Hope you don't mind.." She said taking a drag of her smoke.
"Na it's cool.." He said lighting up his own. They both stood there in silents, then both of them went to say something. "You go first," He insisted.
"About before.." She started, bitting her bottom lip. He looked down, smoking as he waiting for her to continue. "That can't happen again..I really do like Tre..And i feel guilty enough..And you and Kelly." He shrugged and took another drag of the smoke. As did she, with her head pounding.
"I don't know why..that happened..And i know it's not going to happen again,"
She looked at the wall, and took another drag. Silents fell over both of them, what could they say next? was there really anything to say?
"I'm going to forget about it..." She said, he looked up.
"Me too..I just do fucked up things that fuck everything up,"
"Not about that..About the way you treated me," He raised an eyebrow, she threw the butt out the window. "I'm going to forget that you even did that to me..I'm going to forget about you," He looked down. Felling empty.Nothing.
"Doesn't matter to me..Everyone forgets me," She felt sorry, but shock it away.
"It's best if we just forget that we even know eachother," She said as she started to walk away. But as she walked passed him and to the door he stoped her.
"I'm still sorry..I really was a chump, but i'm not now." He said, trying to make things change between the 2 of them. She weakly smiling.
"Bye..."
***
She woke up, her head now killing her more then what it did the day before. The alarm clock making her ears ache. She slamed down on it and got herself up, she stumbled out of the room. Still in yesterdays clothes, as she went into the bathroom and got ready to have a shower she tried to scrap up memories of what happened at the party. She remembered the smoke Megan gave her and some of the fight she had with Kelly, but most of those memories were the ones of her rolling on the grass trying to rip Kellys head off.
But as she kept remembering..
Doesn't matter to me..Everyone forgets me.
His voice rang in her mind, as she took a shower she felt as though her limbs were going to fall off.
I'm still sorry..I really was a chump, but i'm not now.
She sighed in frustration.
Just get out of my fucking head!. She screamed at herself.
The the kiss with him..She quickly turn the shower on cold and let it hit her body. She shoke the thought away...
Once she was finished getting ready, she went to school. Ready for another day of shit.
*
"Hey Billie!" Mike screamed out as he knocked on his closed bedroom door. "Wake up fucker!" He kept knocking. "School!" Mike sceamed.
Billie rolled over as he woke up.
"Fuck school!" He screamed back. Mike willing to go to school to finish what he started at school, so he could get somewhere, seeing as though they didn't have any plans for the future. Apart from playing music.
"Fine! I'm going!" Mike said as he walked down the stairs. Ollie greeted Mike with he good mornings and do you want coffee? Which he accepted. "What the hell is up with Billie Joe? He's acting all weird," Mike asked as he watched Ollie pour some coffee.
"I have no idea..But there is no use on getting him to go to school," She said, Mike sighed.
"Well i hope he gets back to normal.." Mike said taking the coffee. He thanked Ollie and then went off to school.
"Billie sugar! You want something to eat before i leave?" She asked knocking on the door. He kicked back the sheets and stood up, his head pounding.
He opened the door.
"It's o.k..I'll go get something from some where," He said stummbling past her.
"Well..O.k then...But just find something to do today!" She said walking down the stairs. "I'LL BE BACK AT 12 TONIGHT..BYE!" She said leaving for work.
He went into the bathroom and straight to the sink. He looked into the mirror, his relfection showing him how pale his face was, big bags under is eyes. Flash backs of the night before..Kissing Cali. Making a shiver run down his spin, but a huge rush of guilt hitting him. He plashed cold water on his face. Then he remembered that today was the day Kelly was coming over to hang out.
He didn't bother to shower, so he just got dress into a white shirt that was 2 sizes to big for him and some old ripped up jeans and his old burnt out converes.
He sat on his bed, running his hands threw his short redish brown hair.
His head lay in hands.
Why the fuck do you have to go doing that?! Fucking hell! You think of fucked up things Billie! He mentaly kicked himself. Was he was thinking about her..He wasn't ment to..He just kept argueing with himself.
He lit up a ciggerette and saw the song he had writen a few days ago.
"Dry Ice..I fucking feel like that right now.." He mumbled to himself as he read threw the lyrics. He took drags from his ciggerette. Thinking of what he did to Cali, the only reason he hit her was because he was high. Everyday at school he would smoke weed, but the drugs in him took a huge effect and made him go mad and hit people. He never ment to hit Cali...Sometimes he would even bash the crap out of Mike and Al..But he would always get bash up by them too.
But hitting Cali was different..She never did anything. Getting hit by that car was more saving him rather then talking his life.
Smoking weed won't take away the problems he had and has.
And that's what he found out. And it changed him, but it's too late. He couldn't change what he had done to her...
As he kept thinking about it he heard the door knock, he looked up to see Kelly stadning in the door way. With a devilish look on her face, she starte waking over to him.
"Hey baby," She said softly pushing him back down onto the bed, laying ontop of him. She kissed his lips.
"Hey.." He said inbetween kisses, she stoped and smiled.
"Didn't forget that iwas coming did you?..I skipped school to be here," He smiled weakly ans shoke his head. She saw that he was holding a peice of paper. "What's that?"
"It's nothing.." He said placing the paper down. She got up off of him and sat down on the bed as he lay there. She picked the paper up and begain to read it.
"Dry Ice?" He didn't want to say anything, the fact that,that was a love song and he didn't write it about her. Once she had finished reading it she looked over to him. "How come you didn't tell me about it? You mus of wrote it before we started going out.." She said putting it down. He bit his bottom lip and sat next to her,
She didn't need to be lied to.
"I wrote a few days ago.." He started, she looked at him confussed.
"What do you mean? It's says stuff about you wondering if your going to get rejected..I didn't reject you,"
He sighed,and stood up and looked away from her. "This is a love song.." She said.
"Yeah..It is.." He keep telling himself not to tell her, but she needed to know.
"Billie?"
"It's not about you..It's about Cali.." Silence filled the room.
*
The day had gone by for Cali, but in class she found herself not paying attention. All she could think about was going home and going to sleep.
But once the home bell went she ran out of the school, but this time she wasn't going to walk home.
She waited in front of the school gates for Tre. She smiled when she saw Tres van pull up.
She jumped in side and was greeted by a warm kiss by Tre.
"Hey..Do you mind if you stop by my house? Got take this shit home," She said looking at her school bag. He laughed.
"Okies,"
"So your the new drummer for sweet children?" She asked after Tre had told her.
"Yep! It's a fucking great band, i make it even better.." He said keeping his eyes on the road, she weakly smiled, happy for him but not so happy about Billie being in the band. Now there is always a chance she will get to see Billie.
He drove her to her house. She saw a car parked at the front of her house, she knew who the car belonged to.
"OH MY FUCKING GOD!" She screamed out excitedly. Tre looked at her like she was crazy.
"Yes..It's a car," She playfully punched him.
"I know! Wait here I'll be right back!" She said running out of the van and into her house. She ran into the front door and into the living room.
"ERINN AND LAUREN!" She screamed out, her 2 best friends that had moved away from Rodeo because they found an apartment to live at in Oakland. They all promised that when Cali got money she was going to live with them.
"Hey Cali!" Erinn yelled as she got up off the couch, Lauren did the same. They were greeting eachother and asking questions, since they haven't seen eachother for over a year.
"So dad let you wait here? Where the fuck is he?" Cali asked.
"He said he was going to work so he let us wait for you...His girlfriend is in the kitchen.." Lauren filled in. Cali rolled her eyes, She had only spoke to Lucy 2 times and she already hated her guts.
"She is so fucking retarded..I fucking hate her," Cali said in a whisper.
Her 2 best friends laughed. The Lucy came from the kitchen with a smuge look on her face.
"Hello.." She said as she made herself at home on the couch, Cali cleched her teeth.
"I see you've made yourself at home already..God..Why doesn't my dad know not to bring complete sluty strangers in my house," Cali said trying to piss Lcuy off..Which she did quit well, Laurn and Erinn bursted out laughing. Lucy dragged Cali into the kitchen, away from her friends.
"Your house? I own this house more than you do miss fucker!" She said standing right in front of Cali.
"Oh and how's that so?" She asked, clenching her fists.
"Your never here...And you won't be soon..I'll send you off to bording school..Remember your daddy loves me and he'll do what ever i saw.." She said with the devil smirk.
"Speaking of going out...I'm going now.." Cali said walking away. "Oh and one more thing! My dad doens't love you..So fuck you!" She said as she went away.
She asked Erinn and Lauren to come so they did, She intorduced them to Tre once they got in van. As Tre drove down the road he whispered to Cali.
"I thought this was just us hanging out?" She smiled.
"They're only here for a few days..I promise we'll have us time,"
He nodded and kept driving, not really knowing where to go. But Tre had a show to play at Gilman so they decided to hang out there.
Gilman was already packed with willing young missfit punks. The group all found their way into it.
"I've gotta go find Mike and Billie..I'll see ya after the show?" He said holding both of her hands. She nodded and kissed him on the cheek, he ran off in search for the othe band members.
"God you caught a fucking hot guy!" Lauren said taking in her where she was.
"I know! He's fucking awsume!"
"So he saved you when you passed out on the beach?" Erinn asked, making sure that what Cali had told was true.
"Yep! Good catch i think," She laughed.
And hour went by as the 3 girls caught up while drinking beer. It was only a few minutes until sweet children came on.
"So this Billie guy bashed you up, then he got hit by a car, then he said sorry and then you almost died falling off the roof and then you had a fight with his girlfriend and then kissed him?" Lauren asked in shock of what had happened..It all seemed abit too unreal.
"It's almost right..He kissed me..I really can't stand him..We're not talking to eachother anymore..It's just to fucked up, and it kinda freaks me out," Cali said. Erinn laughed.
"Oh how i would like to kick this guys ass!" Erinn yelled out. Cali giggled and watched as the croud started to get pumped up.
"Let's go in the mosh pit..Come on! I wanna see Tre!" Cali said as she started to go into the pit. Her friends followed. They made their way to the front by calling out things that made people move. The croud pushed and shoved and croud surfed, the Billie came running out on stage. Then Mike and then Tre.
"GO TRE!" Cali screamed out, then a bunch of other screams were heard.
Billie looked down to the croud once he heard someone scream that.
Once he saw Cali he almost froxe on the spot. He didn't want her to be there, he hated her..With a passion.
"HEY FUCKERS!" Billie called out, the croud of willing punks screamed and called out things. "Well as you all fucking know..Al has left the fucking band for fucking fucked up college..SOOOOO! We have a new and fucking better fucking drummer!
TRE COOL!" The croud went crazy. " And..And even fucking better we aint sweet children anymore!" The croud booed. "HOLD UP FUCKERS! this name is better!"
The croud went crazy.
"What's the fucking name then?!" Some random screamed out, Billie laughed.
"You want to know what the band name is?! YOU REALLY WANT TO KNOW?!" The croud screamed out yes, waiting for the name. "Well you'll fucking know what the band name is when our Lookout! produced LP comes out with the band name GREEN DAY!" The cround went more then crazy, there was screaming and yelling and pushing.
"GREEN DAY! GREEN DAY!" They all chanted the bay area slang for smoking weed all day.
"O.k. O.k..This is a new song..Called Dry Ice!"
The fist not was played and the croud started jumping around.
Cali couldn't help but like the song..Knowing that she was probly the first on to even know of it..Besides the band
She watched Tre go wild on the drums. He was the fucking best drummer she had ever seen, but her eyes led from Tre to Billie once his guitar solo played. She got sucked in at how amazing it was.
Once the song was over and they played there other songs, they left the croud screaming for more. Once they weren't even accepted but know everyone wanted more of what they had to offer.
"You know what's wrong with Bill? He seems all fucked up ans shit.." Tre asked Mike as they went to grab a beer.
"Kelly broke up with him..Don't know what over though..Poor guy, he really did like her."
Billie sat down on the dirty couch that was in the back part of gilman, he had a budwiser in his left hand and joint in the other. He kept on thinking about what he had won to Kelly, he was really missing her and wanted her back more then ever now. It was his 2nd joint for the night and he was now starting to feel of beat, everything was getting slower and his body didn't react to things. He stared into space as he drank and smoked.
"Bill! Snap out of it man!" Mike said waving his hand infront of his eyes. Billie looked at Mike, his body feeling like he had lead for blood. His vision blury and his mide out of wack.
"She said i was the love me.." Billie slurred. Mike looked at him with an eyebrow raised. Liza was with Mike and she stood behind him.
"Dude..I have to take Liza home..I'll see ya at home later..Tre will look after you..O.k?"
Billie swade and lit up another joint.
"Man this is sweet..Like Melly.." Mike laughed.
"Don't smoke too much..You'll drown yourself." Then Mike left to take his girlfriend,Liza home.
Tre had found Cali and her friends and brought them to where Billie was. By this time Billie was on his 5th joint and 7th budwiser.
He stared into space and started to see things, like Kelly.
"Melly the is ment for me.." He try to say once he thought he saw Tre, which he was right. Cali stood there talking to her friends. Cali told them that, that was Billie.
"We have to get ya home Billie.." Tre said Trying to get Billie on his feet.
"I wrote song for about you.." Billie said once he saw Cali, his eyes where squinted.
"If it weren't for me she wouls still be with you!" Tre tried to lift Billie up onto his feet buthe couldn't.
"Hey girls..Go wait in Tres van..Well be out there in a sec.." They nodded and went.
Cali went over and helped Tre.
"Fuck'n hell! He's fucking heavy!" Cali said as Tre slung one of Billies arms over his shoulder, Cali did the same with his other arm.
"I wrote a song.." Billie slurd and his feet were draginf along the floor as Cali and Tre heaved Billie.
"Yeah dude..You write songs, but you get too high aswell," Billies eyes felt heavy and started to close.
"Oh for fuck sake! Now he's going to fucking passed out!" Cali yelled. Tre laughed, he had seen Billie like this..But not as bad. He couldn't keep his eyes open anymore, Tre and Cali had dragged him out of gilman and to Tres van.
Once they had thrown Billie in the van they all drove off to Billies house.
Billie started to wake up abit.
"My names Jillie Boe.." He slured again. Cali looked into the back set, where Erinn and Lauren were.
"I'm going to fucking kill you Jillie Boe if you don't shut the fuck up you piss of shit!" Erinn yelled.
"What are you going to do?...Kill Jillie?!" His body feeling heavier and heavier.
They finaly got to Billies house.
"It's fine Tre..I'll just drag him to the door chuck him inside and go home..Just take these 2 biatchs to the hotel,"
"But what if he's too heavy and he falls on you and kills you?!" Tre said. Cali laughed and opened the door.
"Bye Erinn and Lauren! Don't sleep with my boyfriend!" She said getting out.
"Oh we will!" Erinn joked. Cali laughed and opened the back door where Billie was laying almost knocked out.
"If you do! Tre come and help me get him out!"
"Oh now you need my help!" Tre said getting out and running around to the back. He help her get him out.
"I'm only using you for when i need to lift drugged up guys.." She said sarcasticly, Tre help help her drag him over to the front door.
"I knew it! I'm only used for my strength, hotness and for the fact that i look like and or AM god!" She laughed.
"Yeah, yeah," They laid Billie down on the proch.
"I'll take them 2..See i do things for you..I'm a great boyfriend," He said smiling, she kissed him on the lips.
"Yes you are..And it's just a plus that your hot," He kissed her.
"HEY ARE WE GOING OR WHAT?!" They got cut off by Lauren screaming.
"Yeah yeah..WAIT !" Tre screamed back. Cali laughed, and kissed his cheek.
"I'll see ya tomorrow..Coz i'm coming around your place..I don't care what you say," She said, he laughed and hugged her.
"I don't mind..See ya tomorrow." With that Tre was out of sight.
She looked at Billie lying on the ground.
"Billie! Wake up!" She said shaking him, his eyes opened a crack.
"Me thinks..I know who you is," He slurded, she couldn't hold in, so she let out a giggle.
"Do you have keys to open the door?" He nodded and sat up, sway back and forth, he tried to satnd up but fail, she helped him up. His body weight leaning on her. "Where are your keys?" His head buried into her neck. She sighed in frustration, she faced him and his head fell onto her shoulder. She put her hand down his pocket and looked. He giggled, and moved his head.
"Your naughty.." She rolled her eyes. She felt the keys in his front pocket and took it out.
She lent him up against the door as she put the key into he door knob. "I write a song about you," He said with his eyes starting to close..Again.
"Oh really? What about?" She said trying to keep him awake.His knees couldn't hold him up and his wait was being pushed up against the door, so as soon as she opened the door they both fell to the ground. He fell down forst..Hard and then she came falling down landing right next to him.
She burst out laughing, it was funny.
He was giggling like a little girl. She turned her head and looked at him, his eyes could barly be seen.
She saw a glimer of green.
"It's called Dry Ice..Like forst.." She looked at him. A smile creeped on her face, she got up and then lifted him up.
After finaly dragging him to his room she dropped him down on the bed. But bring her down with him. "I'm scared the smerfs will come and get me..Stay!" He said, she looked at him like he was crazy and then she stood up.
"I'm sure the smerfs will eat you alive," She said rolling her eyes.
He sat up, swaying at first. He got her by her hands, and pulled her down so that she was ontop of him...
