Cigarettes and Valentines, chapter 1

I looked down.
I couldn't believe what I was seeing.
Maria's bloody corpse lay before me. I started shaking uncontrollably. What had happened???
I turned and saw St. Jimmy with an his evil grin on his face.
"Well, Jesus you proved me wrong, I didn't think that you had it in you to do that. But obviously I was wrong," he said to me before chuckling to himself. Yet another private joke.
'What the hell is he talking about??? What did I do to prove him wrong..." I thought, still not putting all the pieces together in my head.
"J-J-Jimmy..." was all I managed to stutter before being interrupted.
"Jesus, how many times must I tell you until it get's into your thick skull?? It's SAINT JIMMY, not Jimmy, okay??" he said, before lighting up a joint.
"Yeah...um...St. J-J-Jimmy... ha...what h-h-happened?" I stuttered, looking away from Maria's corpse which seemed to be staring at me.
"What do you mean what happened??? Oh Puh-lease Jesus can't you remember??? You did it! You killed Maria," he said before taking another drag of his joint.
"I—I couldn't..." I said while trying to remember what happened. I remembered laying on my bed, talking to Maria and then it all goes black.
"What do you mean you couldn't? You could and you know what??? You did," he said before flashing his evil grin at me again.
I knelt down and looked at Maria's face. We had been so close, she was the only woman I had ever loved. But why would I do this...I wouldn't. Something's missing, I have to find out what...it's the least I could to do...for Maria...
I felt a cold and silent tear running down my face. St. Jimmy rested his hand on my shoulder.
He had hated Maria, ever since he met her. I felt myself becoming engulfed by anger.
I pushed his hand off my shoulder.
I stood up and yelled, "THIS IS YOUR FAULT!" I took a swing at him with my right arm; I felt it come in contact with his face.
St. Jimmy fell to the floor; he slowly brought himself up and looked into my eyes with pure disgust.
"Jesus, you can't keep blaming EVERYONE else for your problems, first it was your dad's fault that your life's so screwed up, and then it was your mum's fault you got kicked out of school, then it was Tunny's fault that you got addicted to novacaine, NOW it's MY FAULT that YOU KILLED MARIA??? You are seriously deluded. If you want to blame someone, look in the fucking mirror Jesus... that's who you have to blame," He yelled at me, before leaving me in my room, all alone, with Maria lying motionless on the floor...