Cigarettes and Valentines, chapter 3

That night I returned to The Lost and Found. This was a sanctuary for me. It was my home. You see, I rarely stayed at my Mum's house; I usually slept, ate and well, basically lived at the Lost and Found. It was a vacant building next to an old un-used bridge.
I walked in, passing St. Jimmy casually as if nothing had happened. I walked straight to Tunny's room and opened the door.

He stopped what he was doing immediately, and dropped the Play Boy magazine.
"Fuck Tunny, this room reeks!" I yelled after turning around, giving him a chance to do up his pants.

"Jesus you do NOT just open a closed door! I mean I do the right thing by doing it in private and what do I get? YOU walking into my room!" He said in a dramatic voice.

"Tunny get a life." I said before walking in.

"You got any novacaine... .actually before you give it to me, you know anything new about Maria?" I asked while sitting down on his bed. I told Tunny about Maria, he was the only one that knew... besides St. Jimmy.

Tunny was my best friend. He was around the same age as me. I met him on my first visit to the Lost and Found. He sat down next to me and said "Hi! I'm homosexual... ." And gave me his goofy grin. Just thinking back on that chance meeting makes me laugh. I started having a casual conversation with him and by the end of the 3 hours we had spent talking he knew everything about me, Tunny's like that, you can tell him anything and he will listen no matter what. But the one word I would use to sum Tunny up would probably be Kinky.

Tunny's not only my best friend but he also my drug dealer. Strange, but stranger things have happened.

"I haven't heard anything about Maria lately, but I was talking to St. Jimmy last night. He was smashed, so all I got out of him was 'It was a mistake, it wasn't supposed to happen like that... ' then he slurred off into his own world" Tunny said while rummaging under his bed.

"Thanks Tunny, I am going to find out what happened to Maria, but first I need a shot, you got any?" I asked while holding out my left arm.

Tunny pulled out a needle, containing clear fluid, from under his bed. He grabbed my wrist band... I flinched. He looked up at me. I looked down; I couldn't look him in the eye.

Tunny understands everything I have gone through, and what it has taken to still have the will to live. But he can't understand why I cut my wrists; he has a problem with it, a big one. He doesn't get mad about it, just... annoyed.
He pulled of my wrist band and found a small entrance into the vein; he stabbed it slowly and painlessly.
I started to sing a song... I wrote it when I first had Novacaine.

"Oh Novacaine

Drain the pressure from the swelling
this sensation's overwhelming
Give me a long kiss goodnight and everything will be alright
Tell me Jimmy I won't feel a thing
So give me Novacaine"

Tunny smiled and placed me on his bed and walked out of his room, closing the door behind him... .that's the last thing I saw before I woke up...

I woke up, I had no idea where I was. My head throbbed like a bitch.
I tried to sit up... big mistake, I felt vomit travelling up my throat. I turned to the side and threw up on the ground. After I had finished I got up, this room seemed familiar, like deja-vu familiar, but I couldn't recall where I had seen it before.

I stumbled towards the door and opened it. That's when I saw her... that's when I saw Maria.