Cigarettes and Valentines, chapter 5

Days past. I didn't speak. I refused to go to Jimmy's funeral, too many memories. He was like a father to me, no matter what I did, he was there.
After sitting in my room for days, not eating, sleeping or talking to anyone, Tunny opened the door.
"Jesus... we found this. Its labelled for you." He said before quickly handing me a letter, as if it where a bomb about to explode.
I could see Whatshername standing next to Tunny in the door way, she gave me a weak smile, the type that Maria gave me when she knew something bad was about to come my way.
I smirked back at her before re-adjusting my gaze to Tunny.
"Thanks man." I said. He just nodded and closed the door.

*Flashback*
A tall, drunken man slammed the door behind him. You could hear the car engine roar.
"Mummy, where's daddy going?" A little Jesus looked up at his distraught mother.
"Oh, baby, its ok. We don't need him. We'll be fine. You'll see." She said, not half believing what she had just told her son.
*End Flashback*

Everyone who had loved me at one point had gone. I had nothing but this letter.
I placed it on my bed, I couldn't read it.

For the first time in days I got up and left my room. I stumbled out of the Lost and Found, I was City bound, another lost dream.

I walked down to the bay. Where Jimmy had left this world behind. The sight of the small cross brought tears to my eyes. I broke down right there. I had nothing, I had no one and I was no longer meant for this place. This was my Armageddon, the end of all to me. I lost my father, then my mother, then Maria...now Jimmy too.
A tune started playing in my head....
"Nobody likes you, everyone left you,
they're all out without you...Having Fun..."
Silent tears started running down my face.
I grabbed a chain hanging from the structure. I dragged it to a hook, right above Jimmy's Cross.
I hooked the chain and pushed it over the dock, above the water. I stood there, tears streaming down my face. I balanced on top of the cross and hooked my neck in, about to jump forward... my own private suicide.

Or at least I thought it was private. Until I heard a scream.
"Jesus! No!" Yelled a voice. It was a girls voice. I couldn't see, it didn't matter though. I was ending it all. Right then and there. I went to jump, but someone stepped out of the crowd which had formed behind me.

"Jesus... I know what happened to Maria." Said I voice. I immediately spun around, not realizing I was still using the cross to balance on. I fell backwards into the water and felt something hit my head... then all I saw was black.