An Extraordinary Girl, chapter 12
Later that night Amanda laid down on her situated bed in the living room. She hadn't said good night to anyone and didn't want to be confronted. She sighed and curled up under the blankets. Mumbled voices were heard in the distance, as she shut her eyes. She wanted to forget about earlier. She had spilt unwanted tears and to her, it was a sign of weakness. She clutched onto the blankets and choked back a sob. 'No, you won't cry. You're not weak. Only pussies cry,' a voice murmured in the depths of her thoughts. She closed her eyes shut hoping that the voice will go away. Heavy footfalls of a man, echoed through the room. Extra weight was added on the end of the couch as someone rubbed her back, in a fatherly way.
"Go away," Amanda mumbled, knowing who it was instantly.
"I just wanted to see how you were before I went upstairs," Billie whispered, ignoring her annoyed tone.
"I'm..I'm fine," she said with a small sigh. She blinked back a few tears before looking at her adoptive father. He brought a thumb up to the corner of her eye and wiped away a small tear, before enveloping her in a hug. Amanda let out a few tears she had been holding in and gripped onto his shirt.
The bassist walked into the living room to say goodnight to his friend, but stopped when he noticed the two. A smile graced his features as he walked backwards into the moonlit hallway, still not really leaving the sight. He was happy that Billie was taking Amanda in as his own, instead of leaving her in the dark. The two could connect in a way. They both had lost their father's at the age of ten, but Amanda had lost her mother also when she was eight. The guitarist knew how she felt.
"You going to be alright down here?" Billie asked looking down on Amanda. He felt her shake her head 'no' against his chest.
"Would you like to stay with me and Adie tonight?" he asked.
"Yes," she mumbled in an almost inaudible tone. The guitarist chuckled and picked her up with a little difficulty, before spotting the bassist.
"Can you get her pillow and blanket?" he asked his friend before walking up the stairs. Mike nodded and grabbed Amanda's pillow and blanket, before following them up the stairs. They walked into Billie and Adrienne's room before setting Amanda down on the bed. Adrienne, who had been reading a book, looked up from it's pages and noticed the young girl sitting at the edge.
"You staying with us, dear?" she asked. Amanda turned and faced her before nodding her head. The older woman motioned for her to come over to her. Slowly, Amanda crawled over to Adrienne and hugged her.
"You sharing a bed with us?" Adrienne asked.
"No, I'll sleep on the floor," Amanda whispered before pulling away from her mother. Billie had already set up a bed for her. She padded over to it and laid down, before covering herself up. She tossed around a bit before falling into a restless sleep.
Dream Realm
Amanda found herself in her grandmother's back yard, with her cousins. It was mid August and roughly around 5:00, about time for supper. They had been occupying themselves with the golf cart, while they waited for their parents to come home. They had made up a game where one person would chase after it, while dodging hurtling peanuts. It was Amanda's turn to chase the golf cart. She took a stand still near the barn, and waited for Kathy to count to three. Once the word 'Three' was shouted Brad tore out into the yard. Amanda chased after the golf cart. She reached out a hand as she got closer to it, but the driver was just egging her on. He waited for her to get close enough and then put the pedal to the metal and drove off.
"Brad that's not fair!" Amanda shouted as she stopped to take a breather. Out of the corner of her eye she spotted a familiar red van and green truck pull up into the driveway.
"Our parents are here!" she shouted before making a B-line for the house. The others parked the golf cart and came running after her. They ran into the house and watched as their parents walked into the room, with a sullen look on their face.
"What's wrong?" Kevin asked once his parents had sat down.
"We have some bad news," his mother muttered.
"What is it?" Amanda asked as she sat next to her father. He wrapped his arms around her and mumbled the few words she never wanted to hear, "Your mother passed away."
Reality
Amanda jerked awake. The nightmare played through her head over and over again. She slowly got up and walked over to the small door near the back of Billie and Adrienne's room. It led to a small balcony. She walked outside and sat down, before looking upward. She had always said that her mother was the brightest star. Now the brightest star was her father's, too.
"Hi mommy and daddy. I miss you. I wish you could come back home," She said to the sky.
Billie heard a muffled voice outside the glass door. He sat up and looked out the door to spot Amanda. He got out of bed carefully, trying not to wake his sleeping beauty, and crept over to the door. He listened closely as Amanda began to speak again.
"Daddy, I wrote a poem before you died. It was my fault the car hit us. I shouldn't of directed your attention to Billie's house. I'm sorry. I'll read you the poem," she whispered before taking out a crumpled piece of paper. She had kept it with her, since the day she wrote it.
"All this wandering and commotion
Keeps me drowning in my potion
The world around me confirms my fears
And almost makes me come to tears
Take me in and wrap me up
Deep inside your world of love
Hate surrounds me
I'm weak with fear
I cry out but you're not here
Please come back and be with me
Save me from my misery
You've left me alone
Alone and sad
I'm sorry for making you feel so bad
I need you now more than ever
Stay with me please
Now and forever
I'm sorry, my friend
For all that I did
Maybe someday
You'll learn to forgive" She sputtered out before tears leaked from her eyes onto the paper, causing the ink to smudge. She slammed her fists on the ground and laid down on the balcony in a fetal position. As she cried she kept whispering, "I'm sorry, it's all my fault daddy," over and over again. Billie opened the door and walked over to her. He knelt down and picked her up in his arms. He whispered comforting words in her ear, trying to make her feel better. He knew it wasn't her fault. He needed her to know that. Amanda couldn't hear his words over her screaming conscience. Over and over it accused her for the deaths of her family. Over and over again it accused her of being weak, a pussie. She gripped onto the piece of paper, so tight that her knuckles turned white.
"Billie, I want my daddy, Not you!" Amanda said shoving away from the guitarist. She wasn't accepting him anymore, at least not right now. She crawled over to the corner of the balcony and curled up into a little ball, staring out into the distance.
Billie decided it was best to leave her alone. He pulled up a chair at the other end of balcony and watched her sob. He needed nicotine, now. He walked into his room and silently opened his top dresser drawer. He pulled out a pack of Marlboro cigarettes and a lighter before walking back outside. He sat back in the chair and pulled out a fag before lighting it up. He took a long needed drag and held it in, before letting it out in a puff of smoke. He looked back over to Amanda, who had seemed to calm down, before taking another drag.
"Smoking's bad for you. You'll end up with lung cancer like my grandpa. He died from that, two weeks before my mommy," she mumbled from her corner. She had smelt the smoke from a distance.
"I know, it's a bad habit I need to break," he whispered, smoke pouring from the corner of his mouth.
"Then stop. It's that simple."
"It's not that easy. I've done it for so long that I can't."
"Why did you start?"
"Thought it was cool," he said before taking another puff.
"It's cancer in a stick. My grandpa died because of it. He was dating some ho at the time, too. She hit him the day before he died because he couldn't do anything. She smoked, too. And collected furbies, it was kind of creepy," Amanda said looking over to Billie. He chuckled at the Furby part, all the while exhaling more smoke. He put out the fag and threw it over the edge of the balcony.
"So how many furbies did she have?" he asked.
"She had like seventeen in a curio case. I'm serious, too," the young girl said forgetting she had been crying.
"Wow, seventeen. That is creepy. Did you like them?"
"No, my cousin had one and she would hit me every time I touched it. After a while she had taught it to say some stuff, too. After every sentence it would say, 'Shut up, stupid!' It got really annoying. I had a Furby also, but I forgot it in my mommy's car and the batteries got fried."
"You're a murderer. You killed a Furby," Billie said jokingly.
"Shut up," Amanda whispered, "Bill-Dad? I have a question."
"What?"
"Can we stay outside tonight and sleep under the stars. I wanna be close to my mommy and daddy, this poem isn't close enough," she whispered. Billie nodded his head and walked into the house. Amanda stayed outside and waited for him to return. She watched the door and smiled when he came outside with two sleeping bags. He laid them both down before claiming one. He laid down on it and gazed up at the stars. Amanda laid down also on her sleeping bag and looked at the brightest star. She slowly closed her eyes and fell asleep.
"Go away," Amanda mumbled, knowing who it was instantly.
"I just wanted to see how you were before I went upstairs," Billie whispered, ignoring her annoyed tone.
"I'm..I'm fine," she said with a small sigh. She blinked back a few tears before looking at her adoptive father. He brought a thumb up to the corner of her eye and wiped away a small tear, before enveloping her in a hug. Amanda let out a few tears she had been holding in and gripped onto his shirt.
The bassist walked into the living room to say goodnight to his friend, but stopped when he noticed the two. A smile graced his features as he walked backwards into the moonlit hallway, still not really leaving the sight. He was happy that Billie was taking Amanda in as his own, instead of leaving her in the dark. The two could connect in a way. They both had lost their father's at the age of ten, but Amanda had lost her mother also when she was eight. The guitarist knew how she felt.
"You going to be alright down here?" Billie asked looking down on Amanda. He felt her shake her head 'no' against his chest.
"Would you like to stay with me and Adie tonight?" he asked.
"Yes," she mumbled in an almost inaudible tone. The guitarist chuckled and picked her up with a little difficulty, before spotting the bassist.
"Can you get her pillow and blanket?" he asked his friend before walking up the stairs. Mike nodded and grabbed Amanda's pillow and blanket, before following them up the stairs. They walked into Billie and Adrienne's room before setting Amanda down on the bed. Adrienne, who had been reading a book, looked up from it's pages and noticed the young girl sitting at the edge.
"You staying with us, dear?" she asked. Amanda turned and faced her before nodding her head. The older woman motioned for her to come over to her. Slowly, Amanda crawled over to Adrienne and hugged her.
"You sharing a bed with us?" Adrienne asked.
"No, I'll sleep on the floor," Amanda whispered before pulling away from her mother. Billie had already set up a bed for her. She padded over to it and laid down, before covering herself up. She tossed around a bit before falling into a restless sleep.
Dream Realm
Amanda found herself in her grandmother's back yard, with her cousins. It was mid August and roughly around 5:00, about time for supper. They had been occupying themselves with the golf cart, while they waited for their parents to come home. They had made up a game where one person would chase after it, while dodging hurtling peanuts. It was Amanda's turn to chase the golf cart. She took a stand still near the barn, and waited for Kathy to count to three. Once the word 'Three' was shouted Brad tore out into the yard. Amanda chased after the golf cart. She reached out a hand as she got closer to it, but the driver was just egging her on. He waited for her to get close enough and then put the pedal to the metal and drove off.
"Brad that's not fair!" Amanda shouted as she stopped to take a breather. Out of the corner of her eye she spotted a familiar red van and green truck pull up into the driveway.
"Our parents are here!" she shouted before making a B-line for the house. The others parked the golf cart and came running after her. They ran into the house and watched as their parents walked into the room, with a sullen look on their face.
"What's wrong?" Kevin asked once his parents had sat down.
"We have some bad news," his mother muttered.
"What is it?" Amanda asked as she sat next to her father. He wrapped his arms around her and mumbled the few words she never wanted to hear, "Your mother passed away."
Reality
Amanda jerked awake. The nightmare played through her head over and over again. She slowly got up and walked over to the small door near the back of Billie and Adrienne's room. It led to a small balcony. She walked outside and sat down, before looking upward. She had always said that her mother was the brightest star. Now the brightest star was her father's, too.
"Hi mommy and daddy. I miss you. I wish you could come back home," She said to the sky.
Billie heard a muffled voice outside the glass door. He sat up and looked out the door to spot Amanda. He got out of bed carefully, trying not to wake his sleeping beauty, and crept over to the door. He listened closely as Amanda began to speak again.
"Daddy, I wrote a poem before you died. It was my fault the car hit us. I shouldn't of directed your attention to Billie's house. I'm sorry. I'll read you the poem," she whispered before taking out a crumpled piece of paper. She had kept it with her, since the day she wrote it.
"All this wandering and commotion
Keeps me drowning in my potion
The world around me confirms my fears
And almost makes me come to tears
Take me in and wrap me up
Deep inside your world of love
Hate surrounds me
I'm weak with fear
I cry out but you're not here
Please come back and be with me
Save me from my misery
You've left me alone
Alone and sad
I'm sorry for making you feel so bad
I need you now more than ever
Stay with me please
Now and forever
I'm sorry, my friend
For all that I did
Maybe someday
You'll learn to forgive" She sputtered out before tears leaked from her eyes onto the paper, causing the ink to smudge. She slammed her fists on the ground and laid down on the balcony in a fetal position. As she cried she kept whispering, "I'm sorry, it's all my fault daddy," over and over again. Billie opened the door and walked over to her. He knelt down and picked her up in his arms. He whispered comforting words in her ear, trying to make her feel better. He knew it wasn't her fault. He needed her to know that. Amanda couldn't hear his words over her screaming conscience. Over and over it accused her for the deaths of her family. Over and over again it accused her of being weak, a pussie. She gripped onto the piece of paper, so tight that her knuckles turned white.
"Billie, I want my daddy, Not you!" Amanda said shoving away from the guitarist. She wasn't accepting him anymore, at least not right now. She crawled over to the corner of the balcony and curled up into a little ball, staring out into the distance.
Billie decided it was best to leave her alone. He pulled up a chair at the other end of balcony and watched her sob. He needed nicotine, now. He walked into his room and silently opened his top dresser drawer. He pulled out a pack of Marlboro cigarettes and a lighter before walking back outside. He sat back in the chair and pulled out a fag before lighting it up. He took a long needed drag and held it in, before letting it out in a puff of smoke. He looked back over to Amanda, who had seemed to calm down, before taking another drag.
"Smoking's bad for you. You'll end up with lung cancer like my grandpa. He died from that, two weeks before my mommy," she mumbled from her corner. She had smelt the smoke from a distance.
"I know, it's a bad habit I need to break," he whispered, smoke pouring from the corner of his mouth.
"Then stop. It's that simple."
"It's not that easy. I've done it for so long that I can't."
"Why did you start?"
"Thought it was cool," he said before taking another puff.
"It's cancer in a stick. My grandpa died because of it. He was dating some ho at the time, too. She hit him the day before he died because he couldn't do anything. She smoked, too. And collected furbies, it was kind of creepy," Amanda said looking over to Billie. He chuckled at the Furby part, all the while exhaling more smoke. He put out the fag and threw it over the edge of the balcony.
"So how many furbies did she have?" he asked.
"She had like seventeen in a curio case. I'm serious, too," the young girl said forgetting she had been crying.
"Wow, seventeen. That is creepy. Did you like them?"
"No, my cousin had one and she would hit me every time I touched it. After a while she had taught it to say some stuff, too. After every sentence it would say, 'Shut up, stupid!' It got really annoying. I had a Furby also, but I forgot it in my mommy's car and the batteries got fried."
"You're a murderer. You killed a Furby," Billie said jokingly.
"Shut up," Amanda whispered, "Bill-Dad? I have a question."
"What?"
"Can we stay outside tonight and sleep under the stars. I wanna be close to my mommy and daddy, this poem isn't close enough," she whispered. Billie nodded his head and walked into the house. Amanda stayed outside and waited for him to return. She watched the door and smiled when he came outside with two sleeping bags. He laid them both down before claiming one. He laid down on it and gazed up at the stars. Amanda laid down also on her sleeping bag and looked at the brightest star. She slowly closed her eyes and fell asleep.
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