This is Ludicrous, chapter 8
"Linda, that dress is beautiful," her mother Layla smiled as she held newborn baby Lauren in her arms. Linda smiled and looked down on the dress that lay on her bed. She thumbed through the beautiful white laced fabric. It was absolutely perfect, and just in season, too. It was November and the LeVilles' were getting ready for their annual family portrait to send out to their families back in New York for the holidays.
"Well baby, I will let you get dressed. Come downstairs when you're done," Mrs. LeVille said. She walked out of the room carrying Laurn and stepped downstairs. Linda stood there and sat on her bed. She had been acting very quiet lately, not knowing why. She looked gorgeous. Her beautiful brown hair was curled, her makeup was done, and she had the most beautiful dress any tailor in California could ever make. She just didn't seem quite right anyways.
Finally she stood up and undressed. She lifted the dress over her shoulders and put the dress on. Linda reached down her back to find the zipper. It seemed to have zipped up well until it just stopped, right at her waist. She pulled and tugged but came to no avail.
"Mommy! The dress wont zip!" Linda called. Her mother's footsteps raced up the stairs to find her daughter struggling in front of the mirror. Linda stood there in distress, tugging at the back of her dress.
"Baby please don't pull you might break a string! Let me help you out," her mother smiled as she reached towards Linda's back. She, too, pulled on the zipper. This time it wouldn't budge at all. "And to think we could have trusted Ms. Cheifield. Mrs. Gregory told me she was the best tailor in the state, like I will ever take any of her advice any longer. But Linda," she paused and looked at her daughter.
"Yes mommy," she said looking up from her bed she was sitting on.
"The dress DID fit when we tried it on at the tailor's 3 weeks ago. Have you been gaining weight, Linda?"
"No of course not mom, I've been eating the same as always."
"Well I am going to call Ms. Cheifield. I want her to come over here and fix this mess!" she stormed out of the room. Linda sat on the bed, quiet as usual. Then she heard a knock on her window, someone was trying to get in.
"Hey girrl," a familiar voice called from behind.
"Billie," Linda turned around to the window to see his smiling face. She got up from the bed and ran to hug him. "I am glad you're here, we need to talk."
"Really? I just wanted to watch you and your family take some sick-ass pictures." He laughed as he sat on the bed.
"Billie Joe, I am serious. I think something is very wrong here," she looked into his eyes. Their eyes were locked into each other's.
"What do you-"
"Linda! Ms. Cheifield is here, bring down the dress please!" her mother called. Linda took off the dress and got her clothes on. She folded the dress in her arms.
"Billie, wait right here for me. We need to talk." Billie Joe nodded back to Linda as she left and walked downstairs.
Her mother and the young tailor stood in the living room, waiting. "Now Linda will you once again try this dress on for us?" her mother smiled as she rocked baby Lauren in her arms.
"Yes mommy," Linda smiled. She put the dress back on, still with the zipper stuck. It still would not budge. Ms. Cheifield examined it.
"Well it fit when you tried it on at my shop, Linda. All I can say is that you have gained some weight. That is all I can conclude, I am sorry," the tailor said.
"Are you suggesting that my daughter is a heffer?" Mrs. LeVille smirked as she looked at Ms. Cheifield.
"Oh of course not Mrs. LeVille. Your daughter is probably the smallest girl I have ever seen. It's just, everyone is entitled to gain a pound or two."
"No, not my daughter. You must fix this at once!" Mrs. LeVille shouted. Baby Lauren began to cry, Linda's hands would not stop shaking. Ms. Cheifield stood dumbfounded, and Mrs. LeVille was outraged.
"I am sorry I cannot fix the dress Mrs. LeVille. I can make a new one next week. That is all I can do," she said calmly.
"Fine, fine, fine. Do what you must. We will just have to postpone EVERYTHING until the 24th. Goodbye Ms. Cheifield." She guided the tailor out and closed the door. "Linda, why have you gained weight? Couldn't you have waited a few more weeks babe?"
"I'm sorry mom, I'll see you later," Linda frowned. She walked back upstairs. She turned into her room, to find him smiling on her bed.
"Are you okay Linda, the heffer?" he smiled once again. Linda couldn't help but smile at that face.
"No Billie, something might be terribly wrong. We need to go to the store, okay?" she said. Billie Joe nodded as he got up from her bed. The two walked downstairs and outside into the November air.
"What happened to the dress?" Billie asked. "It looked perfect on you."
"I suppose I have gained...a couple pounds. But it will be okay, I am getting a new dress."
"Oh, sounds great. So what are we getting at the store?" he asked as they walked along the sidewalk, holding each other's hands.
"Billie, I think I know why I have gained weight." The two walked into the quick store, and into the women's care section. There Linda stood, in front of the pregnancy tests. Billie Joe's face turned white, white as a ghost.
"Well baby, I will let you get dressed. Come downstairs when you're done," Mrs. LeVille said. She walked out of the room carrying Laurn and stepped downstairs. Linda stood there and sat on her bed. She had been acting very quiet lately, not knowing why. She looked gorgeous. Her beautiful brown hair was curled, her makeup was done, and she had the most beautiful dress any tailor in California could ever make. She just didn't seem quite right anyways.
Finally she stood up and undressed. She lifted the dress over her shoulders and put the dress on. Linda reached down her back to find the zipper. It seemed to have zipped up well until it just stopped, right at her waist. She pulled and tugged but came to no avail.
"Mommy! The dress wont zip!" Linda called. Her mother's footsteps raced up the stairs to find her daughter struggling in front of the mirror. Linda stood there in distress, tugging at the back of her dress.
"Baby please don't pull you might break a string! Let me help you out," her mother smiled as she reached towards Linda's back. She, too, pulled on the zipper. This time it wouldn't budge at all. "And to think we could have trusted Ms. Cheifield. Mrs. Gregory told me she was the best tailor in the state, like I will ever take any of her advice any longer. But Linda," she paused and looked at her daughter.
"Yes mommy," she said looking up from her bed she was sitting on.
"The dress DID fit when we tried it on at the tailor's 3 weeks ago. Have you been gaining weight, Linda?"
"No of course not mom, I've been eating the same as always."
"Well I am going to call Ms. Cheifield. I want her to come over here and fix this mess!" she stormed out of the room. Linda sat on the bed, quiet as usual. Then she heard a knock on her window, someone was trying to get in.
"Hey girrl," a familiar voice called from behind.
"Billie," Linda turned around to the window to see his smiling face. She got up from the bed and ran to hug him. "I am glad you're here, we need to talk."
"Really? I just wanted to watch you and your family take some sick-ass pictures." He laughed as he sat on the bed.
"Billie Joe, I am serious. I think something is very wrong here," she looked into his eyes. Their eyes were locked into each other's.
"What do you-"
"Linda! Ms. Cheifield is here, bring down the dress please!" her mother called. Linda took off the dress and got her clothes on. She folded the dress in her arms.
"Billie, wait right here for me. We need to talk." Billie Joe nodded back to Linda as she left and walked downstairs.
Her mother and the young tailor stood in the living room, waiting. "Now Linda will you once again try this dress on for us?" her mother smiled as she rocked baby Lauren in her arms.
"Yes mommy," Linda smiled. She put the dress back on, still with the zipper stuck. It still would not budge. Ms. Cheifield examined it.
"Well it fit when you tried it on at my shop, Linda. All I can say is that you have gained some weight. That is all I can conclude, I am sorry," the tailor said.
"Are you suggesting that my daughter is a heffer?" Mrs. LeVille smirked as she looked at Ms. Cheifield.
"Oh of course not Mrs. LeVille. Your daughter is probably the smallest girl I have ever seen. It's just, everyone is entitled to gain a pound or two."
"No, not my daughter. You must fix this at once!" Mrs. LeVille shouted. Baby Lauren began to cry, Linda's hands would not stop shaking. Ms. Cheifield stood dumbfounded, and Mrs. LeVille was outraged.
"I am sorry I cannot fix the dress Mrs. LeVille. I can make a new one next week. That is all I can do," she said calmly.
"Fine, fine, fine. Do what you must. We will just have to postpone EVERYTHING until the 24th. Goodbye Ms. Cheifield." She guided the tailor out and closed the door. "Linda, why have you gained weight? Couldn't you have waited a few more weeks babe?"
"I'm sorry mom, I'll see you later," Linda frowned. She walked back upstairs. She turned into her room, to find him smiling on her bed.
"Are you okay Linda, the heffer?" he smiled once again. Linda couldn't help but smile at that face.
"No Billie, something might be terribly wrong. We need to go to the store, okay?" she said. Billie Joe nodded as he got up from her bed. The two walked downstairs and outside into the November air.
"What happened to the dress?" Billie asked. "It looked perfect on you."
"I suppose I have gained...a couple pounds. But it will be okay, I am getting a new dress."
"Oh, sounds great. So what are we getting at the store?" he asked as they walked along the sidewalk, holding each other's hands.
"Billie, I think I know why I have gained weight." The two walked into the quick store, and into the women's care section. There Linda stood, in front of the pregnancy tests. Billie Joe's face turned white, white as a ghost.
