Not Saint Jimmy, chapter 6
Teresa woke the next morning to the sound of Billie's raised voice from downstairs. No one was answering his yells so she guessed he must be on the phone. She slipped out of bed and crept down the stairs. Sitting in the middle and looking through the door of the kitchen, which was ajar. She could see Billie pacing up and down. He was yelling to someone about something. Teresa listened.
"No you can't just come down here...I don't fucking care!... a) Because Me and Adie were given no warning. b) It would upset her, and c) you told her you didn't want her back, you can't just walk in and out of her life whenever you feel like it! And I'm her god damned father! I don't care, you can bloody well turn around! Why do you want to see her all of a sudden? "Teresa had heard enough. She turned round and collided with Adie who was walking down the stairs with a load of dirty laundry.
"Hey! Did you have fun last night?" Adie asked cheerfully. Teresa ignored her and ran into her bedroom, tears streaming down her cheeks. She didn't know why she was crying; all she knew was that this was fucked, really fucked. Her parents were coming to see her? Did she want to see them? They had lied to her, hurt her. She was just beginning to settle down. She grabbed a notebook and pen and began to write.
What does everyone want from me?
I just do not know.
They walk in and out and then pass by me
Like I am a freak show.
Why do they think they can be there when life is fine?
And just fuck off when they don't have time
Or maybe things get a little stressed,
Or maybe when their life has just digressed.
I tried hard to be what they wanted
But it didn't work.
They abandoned me and left me gutted,
I almost went berserk,
Why do they think they can be there when life is fine?
And just fuck of when they don't have time
Or maybe things get a little stressed,
Or maybe when life has just digressed.
Why do they think they can be there when life is fine?
And just fuck off when they don't have time?
Or maybe things get a little stressed?
Maybe sometimes think of me instead.
Tears streamed down her face as she scribbled down the thoughts that came into her mind. Suddenly there was a knock at the door. Billie walked in. Teresa hurriedly snapped the notebook shut. Billie looked down at his shoes.
"I guess you heard my conversation with your... ah... . mother." She just nodded. "Do you want her to come over?" Billie asked. Teresa looked at him.
"I don't know, I'm mad at them, but then she's my mum but they lied to me but I love them but I hate them at the same time, but I love my brothers and sisters but it would feel awkward knowing their not my full brothers and sister but I haven't seen them for ages but... but... I'm so fucking confused." Billie looked at her; his emerald green eyes glinted with empathy.
"I couldn't stop her from coming," he whispered. "She said she wouldn't turn 'round, so I guess they're coming." Teresa nodded.
"Ok, I'd... I'd better go do the horses." She choked on her words as she got up. Billie left her room silently and she changed. Five minutes later she was walking down the stairs again and pulling on a pair of gloves and wellies she walked out of the back door and down the garden. She hopped over the fence separating the garden form the field and walked up to the hay barn. Flicka and Xantia followed. She began to talk to them.
"Argh, I have no fucking idea what I'm gonna do when mum gets here! And what's she gonna say when she sees you two? And now look at me, talking to a pair of dumb animals, no offence!" She walked into the hay barn and collided with Adie for the second time that day.
"Oh, hey Tez, sorry, hope you don't mind I was just bored so I figured I might get to know the horse, feed them and stuff, considering you were upset." Teresa nodded.
"Thanks. Do you know how to look after horses by the way? Like, no offence or anything, but you never told me if you had had any experience with them before." Adie laughed.
"I used to ride, but I gave up when I met Billie, I went touring to often with him so I couldn't keep the horses." Teresa nodded.
When they had fed the horses Teresa and Adie were just sitting in the shade of a tree in the field talking about everything and nothing. A shadow fell over them. Teresa put a hand over her eyes and looked up.
"Tom! Hey, what are you doing here?"
"Just out for my morning walk. How are you this fine morning ladies?" Teresa and Adie both laughed.
"We're good thanks."
"Not too hung over?"
"Hey! I barely drank last night!" Teresa objected softly hitting Tom in the arm. He laughed.
"Okay okay, keep your panties on."
"I wear girl boxers thank you!" retorted Teresa.
"Ooooooooooo, lets see!"
"Pervert!"
"And proud of it!" Adie laughed.
"I'll leave you two alone shall I?" She got up and walked to the house. Tom sat down and draped his arm over Teresa's shoulders.
"So, my sexy little party animal, how are you really this fine morning?"
"Shit."
"Why?" Tom looked slightly worried.
"My mum's coming over."
"The one who left you?" Teresa nodded. "But, she can't just walk in aand out of your life when she feels like it, that's not fair!"
"I know, that's what Billie told her, but she's coming anyway!"
"Do you want to see her?"
"I don't know, I don't know any of my feelings, they're all so mixed up!" She put her head in her hands. Her voice was muffled when she continued.
"All I know is that this is really fucked up, and it doesn't seem to be getting better. Maybe I should quit now."
"Don't ever say that again!" Tom replied, sternly. Teresa looked taken aback at his tone. She blushed, sheepishly.
"Sorry, I'm just so confused."
"I know," he hugged her. They stayed in each other's arms for a while until Teresa heard a car pull up at the house. Suddenly a big black Labrador came galloping towards her barking and wagging its tail.
"Jasper!" Teresa yelled, hugging the dog tightly around the neck when it came up to her. "I missed you boy!" The old dog wagged his tail harder at the sound of her voice.
"C'mon, why don't you meet the parents?" Teresa said sarcastically to Tom. Helping him up. Jasper followed Teresa up to the house. They all walked inside and Jasper ran up to Billie who was leaning on the kitchen centre bar with a beer in his hand, staring at Teresa's old family.
"Holy mother fucker!" He yelped, when jasper tried to jump on him. "You bought a dog? Christ, you could've told me!"
"Er... Billie, Jasper, Jasper Billie," Teresa introduced her father and her dog. Her mother and 'father' and the rest of her family spun round.
"My baby!" Her mother screeched, running up to her and hugging her tightly. Teresa pushed her mother away and walked over to her older brother.
"James! How are you dude?"
"Hey sis! I'm good, I see you haven't changed."
"Hell no! I'm the same ol' me!" he laughed.
"Teresa!" her little brother screamed running up and hugging her.
"Michael! Good to se ya buddy!" She laughed and then turned to her sister who glowered at her. Teresa shrugged and walked back over to Tom.
"Billie, is it cool if Tom stays for a bit?"
"Yeah sure, just nothing dodgy!" Teresa stuck her tongue out at him.
"Who's this?" Her mother asked, snobbishly.
"Oh, mum this Tom my boyfriend and Tom this is mum." Tom held out his hand. Juliet ignored it and turned away.
"James, go get the dogs stuff from the car, then we cane get our stuff up to our rooms and unpack."
"Whoa! Hold your horses! I gotta know stuff first. How long are you gonna be here for?"
"A few days, maybe a week or so." Billie stiffened. Adie walked in.
"Billie I... who are these people, and why is a dog on my sofa?" Teresa turned round and grabbed Jaspers collar pulling him of the sofa.
"Shit, I am so sorry Adie, I'll clear it up!" Teresa said quickly.
"Watch your language young lady!" Teresa ignored her mother's scolding.
"No, its ok Teresa It was just a surprise. Now I'm guessing then that this is your family? O yes I remember at the care home!" Teresa nodded as Adie held out her hand to Juliet who stuck her nose up at it.
"Hey! While your living under my roof, you obey my rules! And one of those rules is respect my property and my family, especially my wife!"
"Don't talk to my wife like that," Richard growled.
"I'll talk to her however I like thanks"
"No you won't!"
"This is my house, I will do what ever I want!" Billie's voice was soft and threatening."
"Don't use that tone with me, punk!"
"SHUT UP!" Teresa yelled. "Dad, ignore him, Richard, fuck off."
"Don't you ever talk to me like that young girl!"
"You can't tell me what to do, your living in someone else's house, you got to respect them! That goes for you too Juliet." She stopped. She's just called her mum Juliet, not mum. She shook it away. James and Michael looked scared. Christine looked amused. Richard just glowered at Billie. There was a knock at the door that broke the silence. Billie walked over and yanked the door open.
"Oh, hey guys, yeah, come in come in." Tre and Mike walked in and then stopped, they looked around slowly.
"Billie maybe we should leave," Tre suggested.
"No, it's cool, just wait for me in the music room, there are some songs on the table I wanted to show you, look at them and see what you think, while I sort everyone out."
"Okay, if you're sure,"
"Yep." Mike and Tre walked down the hall and into the converted basement. Joey and Jake walked in.
"Hey guys! Have a nice lie in?" The boys nodded and Joey yawned.
"What time is it?"
"Eleven."
"Shit!" he opened his eyes. "Holy mother of Jesus! What the fuck are all these people doing in our house?" Jake opened his eyes and yelped. He ran to hide behind his dad.
"Er... this is Teresa's family."
"What why are they here? I thought they left her. Are they taking her back?" Jake yelled.
"NO! You can't have Teresa, she's part of our family now and we love her so you can't have her!" he gabbed hold of Teresa around the waist. "I won't let you take her!" Teresa laughed.
"Hey little buddy, nice to see I've made an impact. But don't worry; I'm not going anywhere! You guys are my family now." A smile flashed across Billie face and Adie looked happy. Juliet looked disgusted.
"How can you want to live with them Teresa? He's a no good father, just look at his past record, he'll probably feed us drugs for dinner!"
"Hey, you didn't seem to mind when you cheated on him with me did you?"
"I was drunk!"
"Then that proves you're a hypocrite doesn't it. I do not feed my family drugs, I'm clean thanks!" he spat angrily. "And if you don't start being polite then you can find a fucking hotel to stay in!" he was yelling now. Mike and Tre ran upstairs.
"Calm down babe, c'mon," Adie soothed.
"Billie dude, you ok man?" Mike asked. Billie just glared at Juliet.
"I'm fine."
"Get down here young lady, where do you think your going?" Juliet yelled at Teresa and tom as they tried to sneak upstairs to her room.
"To my room."
"Oh no your not! No boys in your room!"
"Why don't you trust me?"
"No, and I don't trust him either."
"Tough, I live by my rules and Billie's rules now." And she continued up the stairs. Tom followed. Billie smirked.
"Kids I'll show you your rooms for the time being and your parents can come if they wish but then I have to go work." James Michael and Christine nodded. Billie walked them to their rooms and let them choose then he showed Richard and Juliet their bedroom and walked downstairs. James walked up to him.
"Hey man, thanks, the room is awesome, and I'm sorry about my parents. They're just uptight you know?"
"Yeah well, they can learn to respect me, after all it's my house but it's ok. Glad you like your room." And he walked into the basement. The house was filled with music for a few hours before Green Day resurfaced. Billie flopped down on the sofa and switched the TV on. Joey and Jakob ran up to him.
"Dad! Mom and the new woman are arguing!" Billie jumped up.
"Well I'm sorry if my cooking is not perfect but I'm under a lot of stress right now!" Came Adie's irritable voice.
"You're stressed? You do nothing. You sit around all day while your good for nothing husband plays music and spend all his cash!" Adie flipped. She threw the hot pan onto the floor and it shattered.
"I DO NOT SIT AROUND ALL DAY! I HAVE A RECORD LABEL TO SORT OUT AND FIVE UNANNOCED GUESTS TURNED UP AT MY DOOR TODAY EXPECTING PERFECTION!n HOW DARE YOU ACCUSE ME OF BEING A GOLD DIGGER IN MY OWN HOUSE AND HOW DARE YOU PUT DOWN MY HUSBAND, THE MAN YOU JUST SO HAPPEN TO HAVE HAD A CHILD WITH, A CHILD WHO YOU ABANDONED!" She screamed. Teresa and Tom came rushing downstairs and so did James Michael and Christine.
"What's going on?" Teresa asked Billie looking at the shattered china on the floor.
"Your mum was insulting me and my wife!" Teresa looked thoroughly embarrassed.
"Juliet leave it! Just go away and stop annoying people!" Teresa said.
"Don't you dare talk to me like that, I'm your mother."
"Oh yeah, great fucking mother you were. You can't keep walking in and out of my life. Either stay in it or get out! You made your choice five months ago, you can't now come barging into someone else's house and expect me to be all happy about it!" she had raised her voice and Juliet looked taken aback.
"Honey, we never made any choice five months ago, we said we'd come and visit you!"
"Don't you dare call me honey! To me your not part of my family anymore. I spent three years changing homes and wishing you would come back for me. I got hooked on heroin, I was hated and beaten up constantly. I had to move to a different country, I lost all my friends. You never answered my calls or letters that I sent you after I moved here. And then you have the nerve to just turn up again? Act like everything's fine? Like I'm going move back with you? Be all happy that you here? Forget what you did? Your fucking mental and I HATE YOU!" Teresa screamed. Everyone was silent after her outburst She was shaking uncontrollably. "I...I'm sorry," she hung her head. "I was just angry, I didn't mean that, I don't hate you, you're my mum after all." She choked out. Her mum glared at her.
"Well, I don't think I can accept your apology, you have hurt me, I'm going to leave."
"But I... " Juliet didn't listen; she grabbed Michaels hand and stormed out of the house. "Oh shit! Fuck this mother fucking fucked up fuck of a fucking world." Teresa half said half whispered as James, Christine and Richard quickly followed Juliet and Michael. Teresa ran after them. She grabbed James' door just before he closed it.
"Mum, you gotta listen, I'm sorry I hurt you, but you hurt me, you lied to me for fourteen years!"
"Move Teresa." Her mums voice was toneless but cold. James' slammed the door shut then mouthed sorry through the window. Tears built up in Teresa's eyes. Her mum began to reverse out of Billie Joe's driveway. She felt a hand on her shoulder and turned to see Tom looking at her with empathy in his eyes. She turned and hugged him, his strong arms wrapping themselves around her. But out of the corner of her eye she could she lights. They were coming fast down the road, Teresa's mum hadn't seen them and was still reversing. She turned her head, the car wasn't going to stop and neither was Juliet.
"MUM" Teresa screamed. Everything moved in slow motion, the oncoming car rammed into the side of Juliet's car and sent it rolling over. Teresa could hear Christine and Michael screaming with fear and pain as the windows shattered. James's eyes were wide and terror filled Juliet and Richard were trying to take control but it was too late. The car stopped on its side. The headlights flickered and went out. The man in the other car had his head on the steering wheel, it was bleeding and his neck was obviously broken, he was dead. Teresa stood for a second. There was deathly silence. Then she sprinted over to her family's car and wrenched open a side door. She screamed. James' bloodied head lolled to the side and his body fell to the ground. Christine and Michael's mutilated bodies had shards of glass sticking in them and Juliet and Richard were leaning against the air bags, crushed. Teresa looked into the back when she heard a small whining. Jasper lay on his side, glass protruding from his stomach, his left eye gone and his face bloody. Teresa smashed the back window and leant over, cutting her stomach on the glass that remained. She grabbed Jaspers neck and pulled him out. She put him down and knelt next to him. The only survivor of the horror that had just taken place. She could hear voices in the background, running, hurried movement.
"Call the ambulance!"
"Are they all dead?"
"What happened?"
"Go to bed boys," She didn't listen. She just sat with her dog in the middle of the two cars, blood was trickling down her stomach and she began to feel faint. She heard the sirens of an ambulance. Then two pairs of feet walked towards her. They owners of them began to talk to her. She couldn't hear then, all she could hear was Michael and Christine screaming over and over and over. A man bent down to her level. He looked at her and then placed his arms around her, trying to pick her up. She struggled and he let go. She heard him call for help, say that she was in serious shock. She tightened her grip on Jasper. Then another pair on hands found their way around her, Tom tried to lift her up, again she struggled and he let go. She heard him and Billie talking. Then he talked to the doctors. They were nodding and he came back to her.
"Tez babe, listen to me," she continued to stare forward, but nodded slightly.
"The doctors have agreed to let you stay here, but you have to let them see your stomach, it's hurt and needs attention. Billie said I could stay tonight. But if you don't let the doctors see you then you'll have to go to hospital and I won't be able to see you for ages." Tez opened her mouth but nothing came out. She looked down at Jasper. "We've called the vet," Tom said, reading her mind, "He'll be here soon, but please, we have to sort you out first." She looked up at him and nodded slowly. Jasper whined as she got up and she promptly sat down again. Tom motioned for the paramedics to come over to them and all of a sudden two people were prodding and poking Teresa, invading her personal space. She stepped back quickly. Tom looked at her. He gently but firmly pulled her forward. He kept his arm around her as the doctors cleaned and bandaged her stomach. Then there was another car and someone hurriedly got out. He ran over to where Jasper lay and shook his head slightly. The doctors stepped back and Teresa looked up at the vet. He smiled down at her. He began to talk to Billie, Teresa's head began to spin, and she fell onto the hard concrete road. The force of her fall caused her to regain consciousness. People were running. She could hear her named being called repeatedly but she couldn't move couldn't answer. She put her whole mind onto moving and her hand twitched. A doctor saw and picked her up. He carried her to the ambulance and lay her on a stretcher. They began to close the doors. She tried to get up, No one she knew was there. She could see Billie watching her, Tom by his side. She wanted them with her. She stared at them, and then a man blocked them from view she tried to call them but couldn't speak. The doctor saw her mouth twitch and looked back to where she was staring. He turned back to her. He could see in her eyes, she was wishing him to understand her, commanding him to let them come. He turned to them, said something and they both hurried on board. Teresa's mouth twitched in a smile when Tom grabbed her hand and she relaxed, her mind failing.
"Hey Tez, it's been two weeks and you haven't woken up. They're thinking about stopping the machine. Billie doesn't know what to do. We all miss you, please wake up. Your family's funeral is next week; they were flown over to England. Jasper came home today. Billie said he could stay with you guys. I don't know if you can hear me, If you can please please wake up. I don't what else to say. Everyone at school misses you, event the preppy bitches! But I think it's your horses that miss you. They won't eat, they're both really thin. The vet said they were depressed. If you don't come back soon he's gonna have to put them to sleep."
Teresa heard Tom voice. She didn't remember anything of the last two weeks, it was just a blank. She searched her memory and remembered the crash, but after that everything was black. She slowly opened her eyes. Tom looked at her.
"Hey! You're awake." He looked deathly pale.
"I wanna go home, I have to see Billie and my horses and Jasper." She said slowly but clearly, putting a lot of effort into each word. He nodded and called a nurse.
"She's awake, oh thank god!" A doctor walked in. He looked at her. He began to touch her stomach and feel her head. She flinched and tried to move away from him.
"Shhhh, it's okay," Tom soothed. Teresa relaxed to his voice and the doctor straightened. He nodded and walked out.
"Okay, you're all set to go!" The nurse said and walked out. Tom picked up his mobile and dialled a number. He handed the phone to Tez.
"Hello," came a very worried voice, "What's wrong Tom? Has she got worse?"
"D... Dad?" Teresa asked.
"TEZ? You're awake, oh my...thank fuck...I...Adie she's awake! Pass me over to Tom, Tez" she did so and they arranged for Billie to come and pick them up. After a few minutes he was there, laughing and smiling. He ran over and hugged her, tears welling up in his eyes. She smiled weakly.
Teresa stood in a black dress. Her head was down and the priest's dull voice drilling through her head. She wasn't meant to be here. The crash kept replaying in her mind and was screwing up her eyes to try and get rid of it. Suddenly the priest said something that made her come back to reality.
"And now, Teresa is going to say something to commemorate her family."
"What? I never...oh shit." She whispered so only Tom could hear. He smirked and pushed out of the oak pew. She stumbled out and walked slowly up to the front of the church. She turned to face everyone when she reached the lectern. There were about 100 people there. Richards family, Mum's family, age old friends and some of Michael, Christine and James's friends and teachers from school. She swallowed the lump that was forming in her throat and slowly began to speak.
"I didn't expect to say anything so if this is kind of bad then I'm sorry." She started hurriedly. She looked towards Billie and Tom who nodded encouragingly and she continued. "I don't know how many of you know the full details of the car crash but I'll tell you. When I was eleven my mother and so-called father abandoned me and my two brothers and sister in a care home. They promised to return once they had cleared their heads. I guess I saw it coming. There were endless fights, some physical some verbal and I knew that eventually they would crack and they did. So at the age of eleven I was left to fend for myself. I blocked out the rest of my family, especially Christine and I don't think she ever forgave me. Eventually I was moved and my life was a living hell for 3 years. I moved homes every 3 months, I had to move country and at one point I was hooked on heroin. I began to think that no one wanted me, I was unloved, I began to take it out on myself. Anyway. 3 years after my parents had left me they turned up at the care home I was staying in. My so-called father and mother and a guy I had idolised for a few years were all in the living room. My parents told me that my Richard wasn't my father and that Billie Joe Armstrong was. I was angry but moved in with Billie. However I still locked myself inside a shell that I thought no one could crack. Then a month before my 15th birthday I found something that could help me recover. I found my two old horses. On my 15th birthday Billie bought them for me. I also met my current boyfriend that day. The next day I found out that my parents were coming. They turned up and were rude, arrogant and basically just fucking annoying," The priest gasped "... o shit, sorry, I'm in a church, yeah, anyway, so about half eight-ish my mum really blows it by telling my real fathers wife that she's worthless and lazy. So I yelled at her and told her I hated her. I immediately apologised but I had hurt my mum too much. So she and the rest of the family got in the car to drive off. As they left the driveway a car smashed into their car and sent their car rolling onto its side. The only survivor was the family dog Jasper." She paused, "What I'm trying to say is that I never made it up with my family and so tell people how you feel before it's too late." She stepped down and walked back to where Billie and Tom were stood. She scooted nest to Tom, "I love you," she whispered in his ear. He smiled. "Right back at ya!"
At the end of the service Teresa got some snooty glares from some of her family but others, such as her uncle Rob and Aunt Sue along with their children Lizzie, Rosie and Tom came up and congratulated her on her speech. Suddenly though she spotted a familiar mat of red hair.
"CHLOE!" she screamed.
"TEZ!!!!" the other girl ran up and hugged her and the two teenagers jumped around in circles.
"Oh my fucking god! I haven't seen you since you were on heroin!"
"I no! like, 1 and a half years!"
"I'm so sorry, about all this," Chloe motioned to the five coffins all spread out in a line.
"Yeah well, shit happens. As the catholic church says, if shit happens you deserve so I guess I must be the kid of Satan or something!" She raised her voice so the passing priest could hear her last remark, he huffed and walked away. She laughed.
"And who's this?" Chloe asked, batting her eyes at Tom.
"Er... Tom this is my bestest ever mate Chloe and Chloe this is my boyfriend Tom."
"Oh," Chloe looked disappointed. Tez laughed. Suddenly someone else came into view.
"Oh my fucking god! RO RO!" tez screamed, letting go of Tom and rushing up to the smiling girl walking towards her.
"TRESEMME!" the girl screamed as people turned to stare at the two girls now jumping up and down in an embrace.
"Why are you here?" asked Teresa when they had broken apart.
"Half the fucking schools here Tres!" Roro replied. Teresa looked.
"Oh shit, you're right. And Mrs G's there too!" Rosie grimaced and nodded.
"How's she treating you all?"
"Usual."
"Oh dear. Does she like you any better?" Rosie shook her head. Teresa laughed.
"O well! I love ya ro!" Ro laughed and gave Tez another hug.
"So where ya living now?" Chloe asked.
"In California, I flew over for this."
"Oh yeah, cause your dad is Billie Joe Armstrong. That's just weird, I mean you were such a huge fan and then this happens. You must live in some kind of fairy tale." Teresa did nothing for a second. She guessed she was pretty lucky. But then again, she had just lost her family and she had to go through a lot of hurt to get here.
"I guess its just karma kicking in.," she said quietly. Suddenly all the pain that had been pushed aside by meeting her old friends bubbled up again, tears shimmered in her eyes. She turned to Tom who wrapped his arms around her as she clung onto him, crying. He rubbed her back, whispering in her ear and kissing the top of her head.
After a few minutes she pulled away from him and wiped her eyes. She smiled at him.
"I love you," she said for the second time in an hour, he smiled.
"I love you too."
"No you can't just come down here...I don't fucking care!... a) Because Me and Adie were given no warning. b) It would upset her, and c) you told her you didn't want her back, you can't just walk in and out of her life whenever you feel like it! And I'm her god damned father! I don't care, you can bloody well turn around! Why do you want to see her all of a sudden? "Teresa had heard enough. She turned round and collided with Adie who was walking down the stairs with a load of dirty laundry.
"Hey! Did you have fun last night?" Adie asked cheerfully. Teresa ignored her and ran into her bedroom, tears streaming down her cheeks. She didn't know why she was crying; all she knew was that this was fucked, really fucked. Her parents were coming to see her? Did she want to see them? They had lied to her, hurt her. She was just beginning to settle down. She grabbed a notebook and pen and began to write.
What does everyone want from me?
I just do not know.
They walk in and out and then pass by me
Like I am a freak show.
Why do they think they can be there when life is fine?
And just fuck off when they don't have time
Or maybe things get a little stressed,
Or maybe when their life has just digressed.
I tried hard to be what they wanted
But it didn't work.
They abandoned me and left me gutted,
I almost went berserk,
Why do they think they can be there when life is fine?
And just fuck of when they don't have time
Or maybe things get a little stressed,
Or maybe when life has just digressed.
Why do they think they can be there when life is fine?
And just fuck off when they don't have time?
Or maybe things get a little stressed?
Maybe sometimes think of me instead.
Tears streamed down her face as she scribbled down the thoughts that came into her mind. Suddenly there was a knock at the door. Billie walked in. Teresa hurriedly snapped the notebook shut. Billie looked down at his shoes.
"I guess you heard my conversation with your... ah... . mother." She just nodded. "Do you want her to come over?" Billie asked. Teresa looked at him.
"I don't know, I'm mad at them, but then she's my mum but they lied to me but I love them but I hate them at the same time, but I love my brothers and sisters but it would feel awkward knowing their not my full brothers and sister but I haven't seen them for ages but... but... I'm so fucking confused." Billie looked at her; his emerald green eyes glinted with empathy.
"I couldn't stop her from coming," he whispered. "She said she wouldn't turn 'round, so I guess they're coming." Teresa nodded.
"Ok, I'd... I'd better go do the horses." She choked on her words as she got up. Billie left her room silently and she changed. Five minutes later she was walking down the stairs again and pulling on a pair of gloves and wellies she walked out of the back door and down the garden. She hopped over the fence separating the garden form the field and walked up to the hay barn. Flicka and Xantia followed. She began to talk to them.
"Argh, I have no fucking idea what I'm gonna do when mum gets here! And what's she gonna say when she sees you two? And now look at me, talking to a pair of dumb animals, no offence!" She walked into the hay barn and collided with Adie for the second time that day.
"Oh, hey Tez, sorry, hope you don't mind I was just bored so I figured I might get to know the horse, feed them and stuff, considering you were upset." Teresa nodded.
"Thanks. Do you know how to look after horses by the way? Like, no offence or anything, but you never told me if you had had any experience with them before." Adie laughed.
"I used to ride, but I gave up when I met Billie, I went touring to often with him so I couldn't keep the horses." Teresa nodded.
When they had fed the horses Teresa and Adie were just sitting in the shade of a tree in the field talking about everything and nothing. A shadow fell over them. Teresa put a hand over her eyes and looked up.
"Tom! Hey, what are you doing here?"
"Just out for my morning walk. How are you this fine morning ladies?" Teresa and Adie both laughed.
"We're good thanks."
"Not too hung over?"
"Hey! I barely drank last night!" Teresa objected softly hitting Tom in the arm. He laughed.
"Okay okay, keep your panties on."
"I wear girl boxers thank you!" retorted Teresa.
"Ooooooooooo, lets see!"
"Pervert!"
"And proud of it!" Adie laughed.
"I'll leave you two alone shall I?" She got up and walked to the house. Tom sat down and draped his arm over Teresa's shoulders.
"So, my sexy little party animal, how are you really this fine morning?"
"Shit."
"Why?" Tom looked slightly worried.
"My mum's coming over."
"The one who left you?" Teresa nodded. "But, she can't just walk in aand out of your life when she feels like it, that's not fair!"
"I know, that's what Billie told her, but she's coming anyway!"
"Do you want to see her?"
"I don't know, I don't know any of my feelings, they're all so mixed up!" She put her head in her hands. Her voice was muffled when she continued.
"All I know is that this is really fucked up, and it doesn't seem to be getting better. Maybe I should quit now."
"Don't ever say that again!" Tom replied, sternly. Teresa looked taken aback at his tone. She blushed, sheepishly.
"Sorry, I'm just so confused."
"I know," he hugged her. They stayed in each other's arms for a while until Teresa heard a car pull up at the house. Suddenly a big black Labrador came galloping towards her barking and wagging its tail.
"Jasper!" Teresa yelled, hugging the dog tightly around the neck when it came up to her. "I missed you boy!" The old dog wagged his tail harder at the sound of her voice.
"C'mon, why don't you meet the parents?" Teresa said sarcastically to Tom. Helping him up. Jasper followed Teresa up to the house. They all walked inside and Jasper ran up to Billie who was leaning on the kitchen centre bar with a beer in his hand, staring at Teresa's old family.
"Holy mother fucker!" He yelped, when jasper tried to jump on him. "You bought a dog? Christ, you could've told me!"
"Er... Billie, Jasper, Jasper Billie," Teresa introduced her father and her dog. Her mother and 'father' and the rest of her family spun round.
"My baby!" Her mother screeched, running up to her and hugging her tightly. Teresa pushed her mother away and walked over to her older brother.
"James! How are you dude?"
"Hey sis! I'm good, I see you haven't changed."
"Hell no! I'm the same ol' me!" he laughed.
"Teresa!" her little brother screamed running up and hugging her.
"Michael! Good to se ya buddy!" She laughed and then turned to her sister who glowered at her. Teresa shrugged and walked back over to Tom.
"Billie, is it cool if Tom stays for a bit?"
"Yeah sure, just nothing dodgy!" Teresa stuck her tongue out at him.
"Who's this?" Her mother asked, snobbishly.
"Oh, mum this Tom my boyfriend and Tom this is mum." Tom held out his hand. Juliet ignored it and turned away.
"James, go get the dogs stuff from the car, then we cane get our stuff up to our rooms and unpack."
"Whoa! Hold your horses! I gotta know stuff first. How long are you gonna be here for?"
"A few days, maybe a week or so." Billie stiffened. Adie walked in.
"Billie I... who are these people, and why is a dog on my sofa?" Teresa turned round and grabbed Jaspers collar pulling him of the sofa.
"Shit, I am so sorry Adie, I'll clear it up!" Teresa said quickly.
"Watch your language young lady!" Teresa ignored her mother's scolding.
"No, its ok Teresa It was just a surprise. Now I'm guessing then that this is your family? O yes I remember at the care home!" Teresa nodded as Adie held out her hand to Juliet who stuck her nose up at it.
"Hey! While your living under my roof, you obey my rules! And one of those rules is respect my property and my family, especially my wife!"
"Don't talk to my wife like that," Richard growled.
"I'll talk to her however I like thanks"
"No you won't!"
"This is my house, I will do what ever I want!" Billie's voice was soft and threatening."
"Don't use that tone with me, punk!"
"SHUT UP!" Teresa yelled. "Dad, ignore him, Richard, fuck off."
"Don't you ever talk to me like that young girl!"
"You can't tell me what to do, your living in someone else's house, you got to respect them! That goes for you too Juliet." She stopped. She's just called her mum Juliet, not mum. She shook it away. James and Michael looked scared. Christine looked amused. Richard just glowered at Billie. There was a knock at the door that broke the silence. Billie walked over and yanked the door open.
"Oh, hey guys, yeah, come in come in." Tre and Mike walked in and then stopped, they looked around slowly.
"Billie maybe we should leave," Tre suggested.
"No, it's cool, just wait for me in the music room, there are some songs on the table I wanted to show you, look at them and see what you think, while I sort everyone out."
"Okay, if you're sure,"
"Yep." Mike and Tre walked down the hall and into the converted basement. Joey and Jake walked in.
"Hey guys! Have a nice lie in?" The boys nodded and Joey yawned.
"What time is it?"
"Eleven."
"Shit!" he opened his eyes. "Holy mother of Jesus! What the fuck are all these people doing in our house?" Jake opened his eyes and yelped. He ran to hide behind his dad.
"Er... this is Teresa's family."
"What why are they here? I thought they left her. Are they taking her back?" Jake yelled.
"NO! You can't have Teresa, she's part of our family now and we love her so you can't have her!" he gabbed hold of Teresa around the waist. "I won't let you take her!" Teresa laughed.
"Hey little buddy, nice to see I've made an impact. But don't worry; I'm not going anywhere! You guys are my family now." A smile flashed across Billie face and Adie looked happy. Juliet looked disgusted.
"How can you want to live with them Teresa? He's a no good father, just look at his past record, he'll probably feed us drugs for dinner!"
"Hey, you didn't seem to mind when you cheated on him with me did you?"
"I was drunk!"
"Then that proves you're a hypocrite doesn't it. I do not feed my family drugs, I'm clean thanks!" he spat angrily. "And if you don't start being polite then you can find a fucking hotel to stay in!" he was yelling now. Mike and Tre ran upstairs.
"Calm down babe, c'mon," Adie soothed.
"Billie dude, you ok man?" Mike asked. Billie just glared at Juliet.
"I'm fine."
"Get down here young lady, where do you think your going?" Juliet yelled at Teresa and tom as they tried to sneak upstairs to her room.
"To my room."
"Oh no your not! No boys in your room!"
"Why don't you trust me?"
"No, and I don't trust him either."
"Tough, I live by my rules and Billie's rules now." And she continued up the stairs. Tom followed. Billie smirked.
"Kids I'll show you your rooms for the time being and your parents can come if they wish but then I have to go work." James Michael and Christine nodded. Billie walked them to their rooms and let them choose then he showed Richard and Juliet their bedroom and walked downstairs. James walked up to him.
"Hey man, thanks, the room is awesome, and I'm sorry about my parents. They're just uptight you know?"
"Yeah well, they can learn to respect me, after all it's my house but it's ok. Glad you like your room." And he walked into the basement. The house was filled with music for a few hours before Green Day resurfaced. Billie flopped down on the sofa and switched the TV on. Joey and Jakob ran up to him.
"Dad! Mom and the new woman are arguing!" Billie jumped up.
"Well I'm sorry if my cooking is not perfect but I'm under a lot of stress right now!" Came Adie's irritable voice.
"You're stressed? You do nothing. You sit around all day while your good for nothing husband plays music and spend all his cash!" Adie flipped. She threw the hot pan onto the floor and it shattered.
"I DO NOT SIT AROUND ALL DAY! I HAVE A RECORD LABEL TO SORT OUT AND FIVE UNANNOCED GUESTS TURNED UP AT MY DOOR TODAY EXPECTING PERFECTION!n HOW DARE YOU ACCUSE ME OF BEING A GOLD DIGGER IN MY OWN HOUSE AND HOW DARE YOU PUT DOWN MY HUSBAND, THE MAN YOU JUST SO HAPPEN TO HAVE HAD A CHILD WITH, A CHILD WHO YOU ABANDONED!" She screamed. Teresa and Tom came rushing downstairs and so did James Michael and Christine.
"What's going on?" Teresa asked Billie looking at the shattered china on the floor.
"Your mum was insulting me and my wife!" Teresa looked thoroughly embarrassed.
"Juliet leave it! Just go away and stop annoying people!" Teresa said.
"Don't you dare talk to me like that, I'm your mother."
"Oh yeah, great fucking mother you were. You can't keep walking in and out of my life. Either stay in it or get out! You made your choice five months ago, you can't now come barging into someone else's house and expect me to be all happy about it!" she had raised her voice and Juliet looked taken aback.
"Honey, we never made any choice five months ago, we said we'd come and visit you!"
"Don't you dare call me honey! To me your not part of my family anymore. I spent three years changing homes and wishing you would come back for me. I got hooked on heroin, I was hated and beaten up constantly. I had to move to a different country, I lost all my friends. You never answered my calls or letters that I sent you after I moved here. And then you have the nerve to just turn up again? Act like everything's fine? Like I'm going move back with you? Be all happy that you here? Forget what you did? Your fucking mental and I HATE YOU!" Teresa screamed. Everyone was silent after her outburst She was shaking uncontrollably. "I...I'm sorry," she hung her head. "I was just angry, I didn't mean that, I don't hate you, you're my mum after all." She choked out. Her mum glared at her.
"Well, I don't think I can accept your apology, you have hurt me, I'm going to leave."
"But I... " Juliet didn't listen; she grabbed Michaels hand and stormed out of the house. "Oh shit! Fuck this mother fucking fucked up fuck of a fucking world." Teresa half said half whispered as James, Christine and Richard quickly followed Juliet and Michael. Teresa ran after them. She grabbed James' door just before he closed it.
"Mum, you gotta listen, I'm sorry I hurt you, but you hurt me, you lied to me for fourteen years!"
"Move Teresa." Her mums voice was toneless but cold. James' slammed the door shut then mouthed sorry through the window. Tears built up in Teresa's eyes. Her mum began to reverse out of Billie Joe's driveway. She felt a hand on her shoulder and turned to see Tom looking at her with empathy in his eyes. She turned and hugged him, his strong arms wrapping themselves around her. But out of the corner of her eye she could she lights. They were coming fast down the road, Teresa's mum hadn't seen them and was still reversing. She turned her head, the car wasn't going to stop and neither was Juliet.
"MUM" Teresa screamed. Everything moved in slow motion, the oncoming car rammed into the side of Juliet's car and sent it rolling over. Teresa could hear Christine and Michael screaming with fear and pain as the windows shattered. James's eyes were wide and terror filled Juliet and Richard were trying to take control but it was too late. The car stopped on its side. The headlights flickered and went out. The man in the other car had his head on the steering wheel, it was bleeding and his neck was obviously broken, he was dead. Teresa stood for a second. There was deathly silence. Then she sprinted over to her family's car and wrenched open a side door. She screamed. James' bloodied head lolled to the side and his body fell to the ground. Christine and Michael's mutilated bodies had shards of glass sticking in them and Juliet and Richard were leaning against the air bags, crushed. Teresa looked into the back when she heard a small whining. Jasper lay on his side, glass protruding from his stomach, his left eye gone and his face bloody. Teresa smashed the back window and leant over, cutting her stomach on the glass that remained. She grabbed Jaspers neck and pulled him out. She put him down and knelt next to him. The only survivor of the horror that had just taken place. She could hear voices in the background, running, hurried movement.
"Call the ambulance!"
"Are they all dead?"
"What happened?"
"Go to bed boys," She didn't listen. She just sat with her dog in the middle of the two cars, blood was trickling down her stomach and she began to feel faint. She heard the sirens of an ambulance. Then two pairs of feet walked towards her. They owners of them began to talk to her. She couldn't hear then, all she could hear was Michael and Christine screaming over and over and over. A man bent down to her level. He looked at her and then placed his arms around her, trying to pick her up. She struggled and he let go. She heard him call for help, say that she was in serious shock. She tightened her grip on Jasper. Then another pair on hands found their way around her, Tom tried to lift her up, again she struggled and he let go. She heard him and Billie talking. Then he talked to the doctors. They were nodding and he came back to her.
"Tez babe, listen to me," she continued to stare forward, but nodded slightly.
"The doctors have agreed to let you stay here, but you have to let them see your stomach, it's hurt and needs attention. Billie said I could stay tonight. But if you don't let the doctors see you then you'll have to go to hospital and I won't be able to see you for ages." Tez opened her mouth but nothing came out. She looked down at Jasper. "We've called the vet," Tom said, reading her mind, "He'll be here soon, but please, we have to sort you out first." She looked up at him and nodded slowly. Jasper whined as she got up and she promptly sat down again. Tom motioned for the paramedics to come over to them and all of a sudden two people were prodding and poking Teresa, invading her personal space. She stepped back quickly. Tom looked at her. He gently but firmly pulled her forward. He kept his arm around her as the doctors cleaned and bandaged her stomach. Then there was another car and someone hurriedly got out. He ran over to where Jasper lay and shook his head slightly. The doctors stepped back and Teresa looked up at the vet. He smiled down at her. He began to talk to Billie, Teresa's head began to spin, and she fell onto the hard concrete road. The force of her fall caused her to regain consciousness. People were running. She could hear her named being called repeatedly but she couldn't move couldn't answer. She put her whole mind onto moving and her hand twitched. A doctor saw and picked her up. He carried her to the ambulance and lay her on a stretcher. They began to close the doors. She tried to get up, No one she knew was there. She could see Billie watching her, Tom by his side. She wanted them with her. She stared at them, and then a man blocked them from view she tried to call them but couldn't speak. The doctor saw her mouth twitch and looked back to where she was staring. He turned back to her. He could see in her eyes, she was wishing him to understand her, commanding him to let them come. He turned to them, said something and they both hurried on board. Teresa's mouth twitched in a smile when Tom grabbed her hand and she relaxed, her mind failing.
"Hey Tez, it's been two weeks and you haven't woken up. They're thinking about stopping the machine. Billie doesn't know what to do. We all miss you, please wake up. Your family's funeral is next week; they were flown over to England. Jasper came home today. Billie said he could stay with you guys. I don't know if you can hear me, If you can please please wake up. I don't what else to say. Everyone at school misses you, event the preppy bitches! But I think it's your horses that miss you. They won't eat, they're both really thin. The vet said they were depressed. If you don't come back soon he's gonna have to put them to sleep."
Teresa heard Tom voice. She didn't remember anything of the last two weeks, it was just a blank. She searched her memory and remembered the crash, but after that everything was black. She slowly opened her eyes. Tom looked at her.
"Hey! You're awake." He looked deathly pale.
"I wanna go home, I have to see Billie and my horses and Jasper." She said slowly but clearly, putting a lot of effort into each word. He nodded and called a nurse.
"She's awake, oh thank god!" A doctor walked in. He looked at her. He began to touch her stomach and feel her head. She flinched and tried to move away from him.
"Shhhh, it's okay," Tom soothed. Teresa relaxed to his voice and the doctor straightened. He nodded and walked out.
"Okay, you're all set to go!" The nurse said and walked out. Tom picked up his mobile and dialled a number. He handed the phone to Tez.
"Hello," came a very worried voice, "What's wrong Tom? Has she got worse?"
"D... Dad?" Teresa asked.
"TEZ? You're awake, oh my...thank fuck...I...Adie she's awake! Pass me over to Tom, Tez" she did so and they arranged for Billie to come and pick them up. After a few minutes he was there, laughing and smiling. He ran over and hugged her, tears welling up in his eyes. She smiled weakly.
Teresa stood in a black dress. Her head was down and the priest's dull voice drilling through her head. She wasn't meant to be here. The crash kept replaying in her mind and was screwing up her eyes to try and get rid of it. Suddenly the priest said something that made her come back to reality.
"And now, Teresa is going to say something to commemorate her family."
"What? I never...oh shit." She whispered so only Tom could hear. He smirked and pushed out of the oak pew. She stumbled out and walked slowly up to the front of the church. She turned to face everyone when she reached the lectern. There were about 100 people there. Richards family, Mum's family, age old friends and some of Michael, Christine and James's friends and teachers from school. She swallowed the lump that was forming in her throat and slowly began to speak.
"I didn't expect to say anything so if this is kind of bad then I'm sorry." She started hurriedly. She looked towards Billie and Tom who nodded encouragingly and she continued. "I don't know how many of you know the full details of the car crash but I'll tell you. When I was eleven my mother and so-called father abandoned me and my two brothers and sister in a care home. They promised to return once they had cleared their heads. I guess I saw it coming. There were endless fights, some physical some verbal and I knew that eventually they would crack and they did. So at the age of eleven I was left to fend for myself. I blocked out the rest of my family, especially Christine and I don't think she ever forgave me. Eventually I was moved and my life was a living hell for 3 years. I moved homes every 3 months, I had to move country and at one point I was hooked on heroin. I began to think that no one wanted me, I was unloved, I began to take it out on myself. Anyway. 3 years after my parents had left me they turned up at the care home I was staying in. My so-called father and mother and a guy I had idolised for a few years were all in the living room. My parents told me that my Richard wasn't my father and that Billie Joe Armstrong was. I was angry but moved in with Billie. However I still locked myself inside a shell that I thought no one could crack. Then a month before my 15th birthday I found something that could help me recover. I found my two old horses. On my 15th birthday Billie bought them for me. I also met my current boyfriend that day. The next day I found out that my parents were coming. They turned up and were rude, arrogant and basically just fucking annoying," The priest gasped "... o shit, sorry, I'm in a church, yeah, anyway, so about half eight-ish my mum really blows it by telling my real fathers wife that she's worthless and lazy. So I yelled at her and told her I hated her. I immediately apologised but I had hurt my mum too much. So she and the rest of the family got in the car to drive off. As they left the driveway a car smashed into their car and sent their car rolling onto its side. The only survivor was the family dog Jasper." She paused, "What I'm trying to say is that I never made it up with my family and so tell people how you feel before it's too late." She stepped down and walked back to where Billie and Tom were stood. She scooted nest to Tom, "I love you," she whispered in his ear. He smiled. "Right back at ya!"
At the end of the service Teresa got some snooty glares from some of her family but others, such as her uncle Rob and Aunt Sue along with their children Lizzie, Rosie and Tom came up and congratulated her on her speech. Suddenly though she spotted a familiar mat of red hair.
"CHLOE!" she screamed.
"TEZ!!!!" the other girl ran up and hugged her and the two teenagers jumped around in circles.
"Oh my fucking god! I haven't seen you since you were on heroin!"
"I no! like, 1 and a half years!"
"I'm so sorry, about all this," Chloe motioned to the five coffins all spread out in a line.
"Yeah well, shit happens. As the catholic church says, if shit happens you deserve so I guess I must be the kid of Satan or something!" She raised her voice so the passing priest could hear her last remark, he huffed and walked away. She laughed.
"And who's this?" Chloe asked, batting her eyes at Tom.
"Er... Tom this is my bestest ever mate Chloe and Chloe this is my boyfriend Tom."
"Oh," Chloe looked disappointed. Tez laughed. Suddenly someone else came into view.
"Oh my fucking god! RO RO!" tez screamed, letting go of Tom and rushing up to the smiling girl walking towards her.
"TRESEMME!" the girl screamed as people turned to stare at the two girls now jumping up and down in an embrace.
"Why are you here?" asked Teresa when they had broken apart.
"Half the fucking schools here Tres!" Roro replied. Teresa looked.
"Oh shit, you're right. And Mrs G's there too!" Rosie grimaced and nodded.
"How's she treating you all?"
"Usual."
"Oh dear. Does she like you any better?" Rosie shook her head. Teresa laughed.
"O well! I love ya ro!" Ro laughed and gave Tez another hug.
"So where ya living now?" Chloe asked.
"In California, I flew over for this."
"Oh yeah, cause your dad is Billie Joe Armstrong. That's just weird, I mean you were such a huge fan and then this happens. You must live in some kind of fairy tale." Teresa did nothing for a second. She guessed she was pretty lucky. But then again, she had just lost her family and she had to go through a lot of hurt to get here.
"I guess its just karma kicking in.," she said quietly. Suddenly all the pain that had been pushed aside by meeting her old friends bubbled up again, tears shimmered in her eyes. She turned to Tom who wrapped his arms around her as she clung onto him, crying. He rubbed her back, whispering in her ear and kissing the top of her head.
After a few minutes she pulled away from him and wiped her eyes. She smiled at him.
"I love you," she said for the second time in an hour, he smiled.
"I love you too."
