Outcast, chapter 3
The door creaked as I stepped in the house. I mentally cursed the door as I tried to stalk past the kitchen on my way up the stairs. Fuck. I thought as I heard a cough from the kitchen, and stopped.
I heard my name being called and I walked dutifully into the kitchen. My mom was sitting at the table with her boyfriend and the remains of what looked like dinner. There were also bottles littered here and there on the table. Shit, they're drunk.
"Oh, you're finally back. Where were you?" My mom said in a suspicious yet bored tone.
"Work."
"Really? Well, you're usually back around 10:30."
"And?"
"And, young lady, you're 30 minutes late. It's eleven."
"Well, thank you for the update." I said as I started to walk off.
"I'm not finished Celene. Get back here. Where were you?"
"I took the long way back."
"I don't believe you."
"Why not?" Immediately I heard a chuckle I have learned to despise over the years.
"Because we know you stopped by those queer boys' house on the way for your group orgy."
Fucker. I look at mom to see her reaction. Nothing. No, wait, I saw a small smile. Ouch mom, had you really changed this much just for him?
"Probably, Jerry. You would know, wouldn't you? By the way, how are things at the auto shop?" My mom's smile dropped and Jerry looked like he was going to hit me. Just try it. See what happens.
"CELENE RINA PATTON!!! YOU WILL NOT SPEAK TO JERRY IN THAT MANNER!!! APOLOGIZE RIGHT NOW!!"
"Fine. Jerry, I'm sorry you're such an asshole."
"CELENE!!!"
"Why? He doesn't deserve it. He treats both me and you like shit." My mom's face grew redder and Jerry stood up.
"You little bitch."
"Well thank you Jerry. If that means that I don't get down on my knees at the first smell of you, then I'm glad to take the title." I said, then I promptly turned and started to walk out of the kitchen.
"Go to your room!" my mom yelled unnecessarily. It was pitiful how she still tried to act powerful around me with the 'All-Knowing Jerry' in the house.
I stopped on the bottom of the stairs and gave my mom a piercing glare before saying, "You disgust me." Then I took the stairs two at a time before I strode to my room at the end of the hall.
I locked the door behind me and once again pushed the limit to the amount of sound my stereo could make. The sound was mainly to drown out my loud sighs and screams of frustration. I turned off the light, and as I hit my punching bag fiercely until my knuckles went numb and the blood ran freely, it seemed as though my hopes went with it. All hope I ever had of obtaining my mother's sympathy or at least her understanding was now gone. I now knew she didn't truly love me like she said she always would. Right now her love for me was more or less an obligation by relation.
The tears fell silently down my face as I wrapped the rolled gauze around my bleeding knuckles. The tears weren't for the pain I had inflicted on myself, but more for the dying of my last childish hope. I changed into my pajamas and fell into bed, completely spent, both physically and emotionally. I rolled over onto my side and used one hand to caress the other, as my mom used to do a long time ago to lull me back to sleep when I had a nightmare. The way I saw it, I was pretty much living in an endless nightmare right now, so it seemed fairly appropriate. No one heard my suffering in my dark sleep.
My eyes didn't actually see the sun until the late morning when I pulled the blankets off my head and rolled off the bed onto the floor. Doing my routine sit-ups and push-ups, I reminded myself I was allowed to sleep in, as it was both the weekend and my day off. Nevertheless, I still had to find something to do. Maybe I'll go to the library. I saw that new book in the British Lit section I haven't checked out yet. I had to send off some scholarship applications as well, so the post office was one of the many places I had to go.
Thankfully neither Jerry nor my mom was home this morning. I made myself a quick toast-and-bacon sandwich before I grabbed my black Ramones sweater and my purse and opened the front door.
On the other side was a person I least expected to show up at my house on a free day. Much less alone.
"Mike!" I gasped. "What are you doing here?" Realizing my rudeness, I stammered, "Sorry. I mean, come in."
"Thanks." He said, and shuffled in, looking a little awkward.
Deciding to break the silence, I offered him something to eat or drink, as I was always taught to do when there were guests in the house.
"Oh, no thanks." He declined politely. "I was actually here because I wanted to know if you wanted to go with me to the library."
"Uncharted territory for Frank and Billie?" I smirked.
"Yes, actually. The word 'library' is like a swear word to them." We laughed.
"Okay sure." I said as I led the way back out the front door. "I was headed there anyway. I've got a few errands to run in town, too."
"Cool. I didn't really like the idea of going by myself, and I figured you'd be home so..." he trailed off. I merely nodded. When we got past my porch, I noticed his truck in the driveway.
"Come on." He said, noticing my almost hesitant look.
"I was actually planning on walking there."
"In combat boots?"
"It's a workout. What's your point?" I said while raising an eyebrow.
"Never mind. Come on Cel, you walk all the time. Let me for once reintroduce you to the miracle that is the 'automobile'."
I shrugged. "Fine, smartass." He merely winked and got in the driver's side. Despite a small, sudden fluttering feeling in my stomach that I couldn't describe, I remained passive as I got into the passenger side and we took off.
I heard my name being called and I walked dutifully into the kitchen. My mom was sitting at the table with her boyfriend and the remains of what looked like dinner. There were also bottles littered here and there on the table. Shit, they're drunk.
"Oh, you're finally back. Where were you?" My mom said in a suspicious yet bored tone.
"Work."
"Really? Well, you're usually back around 10:30."
"And?"
"And, young lady, you're 30 minutes late. It's eleven."
"Well, thank you for the update." I said as I started to walk off.
"I'm not finished Celene. Get back here. Where were you?"
"I took the long way back."
"I don't believe you."
"Why not?" Immediately I heard a chuckle I have learned to despise over the years.
"Because we know you stopped by those queer boys' house on the way for your group orgy."
Fucker. I look at mom to see her reaction. Nothing. No, wait, I saw a small smile. Ouch mom, had you really changed this much just for him?
"Probably, Jerry. You would know, wouldn't you? By the way, how are things at the auto shop?" My mom's smile dropped and Jerry looked like he was going to hit me. Just try it. See what happens.
"CELENE RINA PATTON!!! YOU WILL NOT SPEAK TO JERRY IN THAT MANNER!!! APOLOGIZE RIGHT NOW!!"
"Fine. Jerry, I'm sorry you're such an asshole."
"CELENE!!!"
"Why? He doesn't deserve it. He treats both me and you like shit." My mom's face grew redder and Jerry stood up.
"You little bitch."
"Well thank you Jerry. If that means that I don't get down on my knees at the first smell of you, then I'm glad to take the title." I said, then I promptly turned and started to walk out of the kitchen.
"Go to your room!" my mom yelled unnecessarily. It was pitiful how she still tried to act powerful around me with the 'All-Knowing Jerry' in the house.
I stopped on the bottom of the stairs and gave my mom a piercing glare before saying, "You disgust me." Then I took the stairs two at a time before I strode to my room at the end of the hall.
I locked the door behind me and once again pushed the limit to the amount of sound my stereo could make. The sound was mainly to drown out my loud sighs and screams of frustration. I turned off the light, and as I hit my punching bag fiercely until my knuckles went numb and the blood ran freely, it seemed as though my hopes went with it. All hope I ever had of obtaining my mother's sympathy or at least her understanding was now gone. I now knew she didn't truly love me like she said she always would. Right now her love for me was more or less an obligation by relation.
The tears fell silently down my face as I wrapped the rolled gauze around my bleeding knuckles. The tears weren't for the pain I had inflicted on myself, but more for the dying of my last childish hope. I changed into my pajamas and fell into bed, completely spent, both physically and emotionally. I rolled over onto my side and used one hand to caress the other, as my mom used to do a long time ago to lull me back to sleep when I had a nightmare. The way I saw it, I was pretty much living in an endless nightmare right now, so it seemed fairly appropriate. No one heard my suffering in my dark sleep.
My eyes didn't actually see the sun until the late morning when I pulled the blankets off my head and rolled off the bed onto the floor. Doing my routine sit-ups and push-ups, I reminded myself I was allowed to sleep in, as it was both the weekend and my day off. Nevertheless, I still had to find something to do. Maybe I'll go to the library. I saw that new book in the British Lit section I haven't checked out yet. I had to send off some scholarship applications as well, so the post office was one of the many places I had to go.
Thankfully neither Jerry nor my mom was home this morning. I made myself a quick toast-and-bacon sandwich before I grabbed my black Ramones sweater and my purse and opened the front door.
On the other side was a person I least expected to show up at my house on a free day. Much less alone.
"Mike!" I gasped. "What are you doing here?" Realizing my rudeness, I stammered, "Sorry. I mean, come in."
"Thanks." He said, and shuffled in, looking a little awkward.
Deciding to break the silence, I offered him something to eat or drink, as I was always taught to do when there were guests in the house.
"Oh, no thanks." He declined politely. "I was actually here because I wanted to know if you wanted to go with me to the library."
"Uncharted territory for Frank and Billie?" I smirked.
"Yes, actually. The word 'library' is like a swear word to them." We laughed.
"Okay sure." I said as I led the way back out the front door. "I was headed there anyway. I've got a few errands to run in town, too."
"Cool. I didn't really like the idea of going by myself, and I figured you'd be home so..." he trailed off. I merely nodded. When we got past my porch, I noticed his truck in the driveway.
"Come on." He said, noticing my almost hesitant look.
"I was actually planning on walking there."
"In combat boots?"
"It's a workout. What's your point?" I said while raising an eyebrow.
"Never mind. Come on Cel, you walk all the time. Let me for once reintroduce you to the miracle that is the 'automobile'."
I shrugged. "Fine, smartass." He merely winked and got in the driver's side. Despite a small, sudden fluttering feeling in my stomach that I couldn't describe, I remained passive as I got into the passenger side and we took off.
