Armatage Shanx, chapter 7
I woke up the next morning with a strange poking sensation on my forehead. I opened my eyes and saw Lisa smiling down at me and Natalie poking me in the head with her infamous drumsticks.
"Hey punk princess who is Billie Joes new buddy. What did you two talk about last night. Hey? Hey? Hey?" Natalie nudged me with her stick missing its target and poking me in the eye.
"Ow! Can you stop poking me with that thing...I'm gonna end up with no eyes left, and if you must know, he wanted us to play for them," I said holding a hand over my eye.
The colour out of their cheeks drained.
"What?" They asked in unison.
"He wants us to play for him and the guys. Come on this may be our big break. Mr Billie Joe Armstrong, Co-owner of Adeline records. What you guys think?" I asked hopefully. I was up for it and I was excited but what would be the point in only one out of three band members wanting to play for a rock god?
"Count me in...gonna go tune my guitar," Lisa said jumping of the bed and running into her room across the way.
Two down, one to go.
"Nat? What about you?" I asked looking at her. She was completely white and shaking. "Natalie?"
"Better go set up and polish Tre," she screamed and ran down the stairs screaming happily. Tre is the name of her drums by the way, like I said. Obsessed.
I stood up and smiled. What was I gonna wear today. I walked over to the boxes Billie Joe fucking Armstrong had brought upstairs for me. I opened one of them and pulled out the first shirt on the pile. It was a black shirt that said 'I poke badgers with spoons' on the front in bold white lettering. I threw it onto my bed and pulled out a pair of black skinny jeans then topped it off with a pair of black and white Converse, like always. I quickly got dressed and ran downstairs and into the basement. Natalie was down there polishing 'Tre' and Lisa was sat in the corner holding her red and white a Fender Strat copy. I sat down beside her and smiled.
She looked up and spoke in a shrill voice. "Go get them then. We're ready." I looked at her confused.
"Can you tune Poppy and bring her downstairs then? 'Cause you work quicker then me?" I asked as I stood up and made my way towards the stairs.
"Sure," she said and followed me. We parted ways as she went upstairs to my room and I went outside into the sunny Californian air. I walked over to the house that the 'Mafia' had emerged from the night before. I opened the gate and walked up to the door. I knocked three times on the wood and waited paitently for the rockstar to open up. I waited for aproximately a minute when I heard a patter of footsteps inside the house and the door was unlocked from the inside. Slowly the door opened to reveal Billie Joe in his boxers, rubbing his eyes and groaning. My eyes widened and my jaw dropped. I had just seen that in my own eyes. Oh My GOD!
"Oh I'm so sorry. Did I wake you?" I said in a small whisper looking down at the cobbled path leading up to the door.
"Yeah but its alright. Its 12 I should have been up ages. So whats up?"
"Apart from the sky, you said you wanted to hear us play today. The girls are ready now and practicly pushed me out of the door to ask you," I laughed and he smiled at me.
"Yeah. Come in and I'll go get dressed and wake up the other two. Tre might kill me so be ready with a coffin," he said as he opened the door more to let me in. I walked in and he was stood behind me smiling.
"Hold on. Be right back. Nice shirt by the way," he grinned then ran upstairs. Ok you can call me a teenie if you like but if you were in my position you would have done it too, but I looked at his ass as he ran up the stairs, and trust me, the risk was worth it.
I stood there waiting in the bright, airy hallway that had many doors cascading off the walls. I heard some shouts from upstairs and Billie Joe ran down the stairs two at a time and buttoning the top of his trousers.
"RUN!" He screamed so I opened the door and he ran out grabbing my wrist and pulling me with him.
"What the fuck?!" I asked out of breath as we ran over the road, but my question was soon answered when Mike and Tre ran out of his house with strange white stuff all over their faces.
"Billie Joe you are so dead," Mike shouted running back indoors and Tre following.
"Ok, I'm gonna ask again.... What .... The .... Fuck was that?" I asked taking deep breaths.
"Squirty cream. Got bored," he said smiling out of breath. "Got them up though. So, am I gonna have a private show or what?"
I laughed nervously. That did not sound right but thats what you get for living with Lisa for 2 years. I walked up our drive and into the undecorated house and down the basement stairs, checking now and again to see if Billie was following, which he was, like a sheep.
When we got down into the dark dull basement, Lisa was sat with Poppy on her knee plucking each string making sure it was in tune whilst, Natalie was sat on her stool hitting the snare drum in a marching beat. I coughed to show our presence and they both stopped and looked up at me and Billie who was stood behind me fiddling with something in his pockets.
"You can sit over there if you like," I told him pointing to a old, pot smelling couch that was in the corner. He obliged and walked over to the sofa and plopped himself on it then grinned eagerly. I made my way to Lisa to pick up my bass when a knock at the door stopped me in my tracks. Natale shot up from the drum kit and smirked.
"I'll get it. Thought some people were missing," she said then ran up the stairs that led ino the living room. I pulled the bass out of Lisa's hand who was staring, open mouthed at Billie Joe who was sat on the couch humming to himself whilst he smiled at me. I needed a diversion to stop the silence that was making me feel creeped out, with Billie Joe smiling at me and Lisa staring at him, I was glad when Natalie came running down the stairs screaming.
"Oh my god! It's them it's really them. Slap me Shanx, fucking slap me," she said running up to me and closing her eyes.
"Gladly," I smirked then flicked her on the nose. "That's for waking me with the drumsticks." Then plugged the cable into the amp that stood to the left of the drumset. When I stood up and turned around, two other people were smiling at me. Mike Dirnt and Tre Cool stood in the doorway smiling at me...just like Billie was.
"Ok. I'm getting a little bit creeped out. Do I have something in my hair? or is my presence amusing?" I asked at them but all I got back was bigger smiles. "Just sit." I said pointing at the couch where Billie was sat. "Nat get on that kit and Lisa stop staring at Billie for fuck's sake." She looked at me and blushed and muttered a small "Sorry."
"Lisa, throw us the mike please," I said and Mike piped up.
"Your'e not throwing me around," he said in mock shock but smiled all the same.
I grinned back and let out a small laugh.
"What shall we play?" I asked because Lisa and Nat seemed to have died from shock. "Is High Life ok?" I asked again and got small nods from my band mates. "Nat, count us in."
She hit her drumsticks to a count of 4 and we started our song.
Glitz and glam and Hollywood style,
Makes me wanna run a mile,
Diamond's and Ruby's and pimped out bling
When I'd rather wear a hat from Burger King.
I want to be free from the papparazi
I JUST WANT TO BE ME!
I don't wanna have the high life,
I wanna have a punkers life
The jetset life ain't for me
When music changed me
They have Rap, Chav and R+B,
When Green Day is the band for me.
They have fast cars and jet planes,
When I have bands shirts with candy stains.
I want to be free from the papparazi
I JUST WANT TO BE ME!
I don't wanna have the high life,
I wanna have a punkers life
The jetset life ain't for me
When music changed me
This is my life, I don't want it to change
I just wanna be ME!
I don't wanna have the high life,
I wanna have a punkers life
The jetset life ain't for me
When music changed me
I don't wanna have the high life,
I wanna have a punkers life
The jetset life ain't for me
When music changed me
We finished with a flourish and me and Lisa did a jump...what? We couldn't resist. We then looked at each other and laughed at how stupid we looked. Lisa was sweating and Natalie had her hair stuck up everywhere due to headbanging. I on the other hand, looked like a clown screaming out 'They have Rap, Chav and R+B, when Green Day is the band for me' when they were sat in front of me.
Billie Joe stood up with a grin on his face and started clapping, then Mike and Tre did the same.
"That was fucking awesome. Who wrote that?" Billie asked laughing slightly.
I put up my hand and looked away shyly. Billie walked over to me and patted me on the back.
"Well, are we gonna hear some more songs?" Mike asked sitting back down and scratching himself in his 'Private' area.
Lisa nodded and started straight into 'In the slow lane'
***
It was around 6pm when we finished playing songs for the guys. We decided it was time for a break and went into the living room for a tea break. I sat on the couch next to Billie Joe who was laughing at Tre who was sitting on Natalie's knee saying what he wanted for Christmas
"I want a Dr Suzi action figure and a Squishy. I will call him Squishy and he will be my Squishy." He said in a baby voice then stuck his thumb in his mouth. Mike and Lisa came in with 6 cups of coffee and a box of biscuits, which Tre helped himself to straight away, whilst Natale, Me and Billie laughed ourselves into a frenzy.
***
*11pm*
Tre found the alcohol. Damn. Mike, Lisa, Natalie and Tre had passed out whilst Me and Billie only had a bottle each, but if you had walked in you would have thought we were stoned dancing round the living room to 'Teenagers From Mars' by The Network.
"We want we need it we'll take it, We want we need it we'll take it, YEAH!!" We screamed on the top of our voices both of us slipping out of tune slightly.
When the song had finished we both fell on the empty couch laughing. I took a swig from my can and sighed as I put it back on the floor. I turned to look at Billie who was smiling at me.
"What?" I asked looking down at the floor.
"It's just phoenominal that I can get a new neighbour who is just like me. Insane," he laughed.
"Thanks. It's cool to have someone who is so down to earth on this street. Not full of silicone like the bitches we saw on the way here," I said screwing my face up in disgust.
"There not all like that. Some are cool and fun. Some are so plastic they melt if they stand too close to the microwave," he smiled. "And your one of those cool ones," he grinned then laughed as I blushed bright pink.
"I'm gonna get some sleep. Gotta go job hunting in the morning. 'Night Billie," I said standing up and making my way up the stairs.
"Night Shanxy," he said and made himself comfy on the couch.
"Hey. How did you know that was my name?" I asked looking at him curiously.
"It was in your underwear the ones Tre had. Shanxy Armstrong," he smirked then lay back down as I turned from pink to red, then running upstaris to avoid any more embarasment.
"Hey punk princess who is Billie Joes new buddy. What did you two talk about last night. Hey? Hey? Hey?" Natalie nudged me with her stick missing its target and poking me in the eye.
"Ow! Can you stop poking me with that thing...I'm gonna end up with no eyes left, and if you must know, he wanted us to play for them," I said holding a hand over my eye.
The colour out of their cheeks drained.
"What?" They asked in unison.
"He wants us to play for him and the guys. Come on this may be our big break. Mr Billie Joe Armstrong, Co-owner of Adeline records. What you guys think?" I asked hopefully. I was up for it and I was excited but what would be the point in only one out of three band members wanting to play for a rock god?
"Count me in...gonna go tune my guitar," Lisa said jumping of the bed and running into her room across the way.
Two down, one to go.
"Nat? What about you?" I asked looking at her. She was completely white and shaking. "Natalie?"
"Better go set up and polish Tre," she screamed and ran down the stairs screaming happily. Tre is the name of her drums by the way, like I said. Obsessed.
I stood up and smiled. What was I gonna wear today. I walked over to the boxes Billie Joe fucking Armstrong had brought upstairs for me. I opened one of them and pulled out the first shirt on the pile. It was a black shirt that said 'I poke badgers with spoons' on the front in bold white lettering. I threw it onto my bed and pulled out a pair of black skinny jeans then topped it off with a pair of black and white Converse, like always. I quickly got dressed and ran downstairs and into the basement. Natalie was down there polishing 'Tre' and Lisa was sat in the corner holding her red and white a Fender Strat copy. I sat down beside her and smiled.
She looked up and spoke in a shrill voice. "Go get them then. We're ready." I looked at her confused.
"Can you tune Poppy and bring her downstairs then? 'Cause you work quicker then me?" I asked as I stood up and made my way towards the stairs.
"Sure," she said and followed me. We parted ways as she went upstairs to my room and I went outside into the sunny Californian air. I walked over to the house that the 'Mafia' had emerged from the night before. I opened the gate and walked up to the door. I knocked three times on the wood and waited paitently for the rockstar to open up. I waited for aproximately a minute when I heard a patter of footsteps inside the house and the door was unlocked from the inside. Slowly the door opened to reveal Billie Joe in his boxers, rubbing his eyes and groaning. My eyes widened and my jaw dropped. I had just seen that in my own eyes. Oh My GOD!
"Oh I'm so sorry. Did I wake you?" I said in a small whisper looking down at the cobbled path leading up to the door.
"Yeah but its alright. Its 12 I should have been up ages. So whats up?"
"Apart from the sky, you said you wanted to hear us play today. The girls are ready now and practicly pushed me out of the door to ask you," I laughed and he smiled at me.
"Yeah. Come in and I'll go get dressed and wake up the other two. Tre might kill me so be ready with a coffin," he said as he opened the door more to let me in. I walked in and he was stood behind me smiling.
"Hold on. Be right back. Nice shirt by the way," he grinned then ran upstairs. Ok you can call me a teenie if you like but if you were in my position you would have done it too, but I looked at his ass as he ran up the stairs, and trust me, the risk was worth it.
I stood there waiting in the bright, airy hallway that had many doors cascading off the walls. I heard some shouts from upstairs and Billie Joe ran down the stairs two at a time and buttoning the top of his trousers.
"RUN!" He screamed so I opened the door and he ran out grabbing my wrist and pulling me with him.
"What the fuck?!" I asked out of breath as we ran over the road, but my question was soon answered when Mike and Tre ran out of his house with strange white stuff all over their faces.
"Billie Joe you are so dead," Mike shouted running back indoors and Tre following.
"Ok, I'm gonna ask again.... What .... The .... Fuck was that?" I asked taking deep breaths.
"Squirty cream. Got bored," he said smiling out of breath. "Got them up though. So, am I gonna have a private show or what?"
I laughed nervously. That did not sound right but thats what you get for living with Lisa for 2 years. I walked up our drive and into the undecorated house and down the basement stairs, checking now and again to see if Billie was following, which he was, like a sheep.
When we got down into the dark dull basement, Lisa was sat with Poppy on her knee plucking each string making sure it was in tune whilst, Natalie was sat on her stool hitting the snare drum in a marching beat. I coughed to show our presence and they both stopped and looked up at me and Billie who was stood behind me fiddling with something in his pockets.
"You can sit over there if you like," I told him pointing to a old, pot smelling couch that was in the corner. He obliged and walked over to the sofa and plopped himself on it then grinned eagerly. I made my way to Lisa to pick up my bass when a knock at the door stopped me in my tracks. Natale shot up from the drum kit and smirked.
"I'll get it. Thought some people were missing," she said then ran up the stairs that led ino the living room. I pulled the bass out of Lisa's hand who was staring, open mouthed at Billie Joe who was sat on the couch humming to himself whilst he smiled at me. I needed a diversion to stop the silence that was making me feel creeped out, with Billie Joe smiling at me and Lisa staring at him, I was glad when Natalie came running down the stairs screaming.
"Oh my god! It's them it's really them. Slap me Shanx, fucking slap me," she said running up to me and closing her eyes.
"Gladly," I smirked then flicked her on the nose. "That's for waking me with the drumsticks." Then plugged the cable into the amp that stood to the left of the drumset. When I stood up and turned around, two other people were smiling at me. Mike Dirnt and Tre Cool stood in the doorway smiling at me...just like Billie was.
"Ok. I'm getting a little bit creeped out. Do I have something in my hair? or is my presence amusing?" I asked at them but all I got back was bigger smiles. "Just sit." I said pointing at the couch where Billie was sat. "Nat get on that kit and Lisa stop staring at Billie for fuck's sake." She looked at me and blushed and muttered a small "Sorry."
"Lisa, throw us the mike please," I said and Mike piped up.
"Your'e not throwing me around," he said in mock shock but smiled all the same.
I grinned back and let out a small laugh.
"What shall we play?" I asked because Lisa and Nat seemed to have died from shock. "Is High Life ok?" I asked again and got small nods from my band mates. "Nat, count us in."
She hit her drumsticks to a count of 4 and we started our song.
Glitz and glam and Hollywood style,
Makes me wanna run a mile,
Diamond's and Ruby's and pimped out bling
When I'd rather wear a hat from Burger King.
I want to be free from the papparazi
I JUST WANT TO BE ME!
I don't wanna have the high life,
I wanna have a punkers life
The jetset life ain't for me
When music changed me
They have Rap, Chav and R+B,
When Green Day is the band for me.
They have fast cars and jet planes,
When I have bands shirts with candy stains.
I want to be free from the papparazi
I JUST WANT TO BE ME!
I don't wanna have the high life,
I wanna have a punkers life
The jetset life ain't for me
When music changed me
This is my life, I don't want it to change
I just wanna be ME!
I don't wanna have the high life,
I wanna have a punkers life
The jetset life ain't for me
When music changed me
I don't wanna have the high life,
I wanna have a punkers life
The jetset life ain't for me
When music changed me
We finished with a flourish and me and Lisa did a jump...what? We couldn't resist. We then looked at each other and laughed at how stupid we looked. Lisa was sweating and Natalie had her hair stuck up everywhere due to headbanging. I on the other hand, looked like a clown screaming out 'They have Rap, Chav and R+B, when Green Day is the band for me' when they were sat in front of me.
Billie Joe stood up with a grin on his face and started clapping, then Mike and Tre did the same.
"That was fucking awesome. Who wrote that?" Billie asked laughing slightly.
I put up my hand and looked away shyly. Billie walked over to me and patted me on the back.
"Well, are we gonna hear some more songs?" Mike asked sitting back down and scratching himself in his 'Private' area.
Lisa nodded and started straight into 'In the slow lane'
***
It was around 6pm when we finished playing songs for the guys. We decided it was time for a break and went into the living room for a tea break. I sat on the couch next to Billie Joe who was laughing at Tre who was sitting on Natalie's knee saying what he wanted for Christmas
"I want a Dr Suzi action figure and a Squishy. I will call him Squishy and he will be my Squishy." He said in a baby voice then stuck his thumb in his mouth. Mike and Lisa came in with 6 cups of coffee and a box of biscuits, which Tre helped himself to straight away, whilst Natale, Me and Billie laughed ourselves into a frenzy.
***
*11pm*
Tre found the alcohol. Damn. Mike, Lisa, Natalie and Tre had passed out whilst Me and Billie only had a bottle each, but if you had walked in you would have thought we were stoned dancing round the living room to 'Teenagers From Mars' by The Network.
"We want we need it we'll take it, We want we need it we'll take it, YEAH!!" We screamed on the top of our voices both of us slipping out of tune slightly.
When the song had finished we both fell on the empty couch laughing. I took a swig from my can and sighed as I put it back on the floor. I turned to look at Billie who was smiling at me.
"What?" I asked looking down at the floor.
"It's just phoenominal that I can get a new neighbour who is just like me. Insane," he laughed.
"Thanks. It's cool to have someone who is so down to earth on this street. Not full of silicone like the bitches we saw on the way here," I said screwing my face up in disgust.
"There not all like that. Some are cool and fun. Some are so plastic they melt if they stand too close to the microwave," he smiled. "And your one of those cool ones," he grinned then laughed as I blushed bright pink.
"I'm gonna get some sleep. Gotta go job hunting in the morning. 'Night Billie," I said standing up and making my way up the stairs.
"Night Shanxy," he said and made himself comfy on the couch.
"Hey. How did you know that was my name?" I asked looking at him curiously.
"It was in your underwear the ones Tre had. Shanxy Armstrong," he smirked then lay back down as I turned from pink to red, then running upstaris to avoid any more embarasment.
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