Cool By Name, Not So Much By Association..., chapter 2
"Please fasten seatbelts for landing. We will be arriving in about 10 minutes." I gulped as the captains voice clicked off. I hated this bit. The old lady sitting next to me smiled. She took out a set of knitting needles and worked on what looked like a child's hat. I watched her fingers as they whizzed all over the place. Knitting always intrigued me because I could never do it. I was snapped out of my daze by a male air hostess bustling down the aisle.
"I'm sorry miss but you can't use them on the plane... I'll have to take them off you." He said with his voice quivering.
I tried to hold in the laughter. It wasn't as if the lady had a fucking bomb hidden in the ball of wool. She looked at me and laughed.
"Well, since you asked so nicely. Here you go. Just make sure none of my stitches fall off!" she smiled kindly as he hurried down the aisle with the 'weapon of mass destruction'. I was on the floor laughing.
"You have to give the young one what they want!" she laughed to me.
"That is seriously messed up! If it was me I wouldn't have given them to him." I said.
She laughed more.
"So, where you heading to all on your own?"
"To visit my Dad. He lives in Berkley"
She grinned
"Oh lovely! Here have this. She said shoving a pink woolly hat into my hand before anyone could see it and take it off her.
"Thanks!" I smiled, warming to the crazy old lady.
I walked proudly out of the terminal with the pink woolly hat on my head. I saw Dad leaning on the hood of his car so I ran over to him, dropping my bag at his feet.
"RAMONA!!!!" he screamed as I hugged him.
"Dad I'm here!" I laughed. He squeezed me, nearly making my eyeballs pop out.
"Just wanted to make sure it was you. I scared the shit out of some Teenie a while ago." He laughed.
After getting organised and stuff we loaded into the car.
"So how was your Mom after you said you'd come?"
"Pissed, but she'll be grand soon. Mark will keep her busy without me there." Mark was my step-Dad. We got on fine, I had nothing against him and he had nothing against me. In the three years he was married to my mom I had said hardly anything to the man.
"I'm so glad you came! It might only be for a while but I miss you when you're in New York." He beamed.
"You're not getting rid of me for a long time." I mumbled to myself.
I smiled and turned on the radio. An old Yeah Yeah Yeahs song came on so I hummed along. Outside the sun was beating down on everything. I so loved the air-conditioning in cars right then.
"Schools out over here for a week but I was wondering do you want to start in the same as Joey?" Dad asked.
I hadn't seen the kid in about 4/5 years. I always called him kid because he was two months younger than me.
"Sure, at least I'll know one person!" I smiled. Even the thought of going to a brand new school couldn't get the smile off my face today. I put my hand over my eyes to block the sun. Dad reached into the dashboard and threw a pair of huge thick rimmed glasses.
"Thanks!" I put them on and they covered half my face.
"So what's the deal with the hat?" he laughed.
I told him the story of the old lady on the plane and he laughed.
"That's not something you hear everyday!" he laughed.
"I know! I can see the headline 'EVIL GENIUS GRANDMA GETS BUSTED FOR BOMB IN NEEDLES'
Dad was wetting himself as we pulled into the drive.
I grabbed my bag from the back and fowelled him.
"Let's go out the back and I'll show you the pool." He shouted at the top of his voice.
"Ok..." I laughed.
I fowelled him out the side of the house.
"SURPRISE!!!"
"I'm sorry miss but you can't use them on the plane... I'll have to take them off you." He said with his voice quivering.
I tried to hold in the laughter. It wasn't as if the lady had a fucking bomb hidden in the ball of wool. She looked at me and laughed.
"Well, since you asked so nicely. Here you go. Just make sure none of my stitches fall off!" she smiled kindly as he hurried down the aisle with the 'weapon of mass destruction'. I was on the floor laughing.
"You have to give the young one what they want!" she laughed to me.
"That is seriously messed up! If it was me I wouldn't have given them to him." I said.
She laughed more.
"So, where you heading to all on your own?"
"To visit my Dad. He lives in Berkley"
She grinned
"Oh lovely! Here have this. She said shoving a pink woolly hat into my hand before anyone could see it and take it off her.
"Thanks!" I smiled, warming to the crazy old lady.
I walked proudly out of the terminal with the pink woolly hat on my head. I saw Dad leaning on the hood of his car so I ran over to him, dropping my bag at his feet.
"RAMONA!!!!" he screamed as I hugged him.
"Dad I'm here!" I laughed. He squeezed me, nearly making my eyeballs pop out.
"Just wanted to make sure it was you. I scared the shit out of some Teenie a while ago." He laughed.
After getting organised and stuff we loaded into the car.
"So how was your Mom after you said you'd come?"
"Pissed, but she'll be grand soon. Mark will keep her busy without me there." Mark was my step-Dad. We got on fine, I had nothing against him and he had nothing against me. In the three years he was married to my mom I had said hardly anything to the man.
"I'm so glad you came! It might only be for a while but I miss you when you're in New York." He beamed.
"You're not getting rid of me for a long time." I mumbled to myself.
I smiled and turned on the radio. An old Yeah Yeah Yeahs song came on so I hummed along. Outside the sun was beating down on everything. I so loved the air-conditioning in cars right then.
"Schools out over here for a week but I was wondering do you want to start in the same as Joey?" Dad asked.
I hadn't seen the kid in about 4/5 years. I always called him kid because he was two months younger than me.
"Sure, at least I'll know one person!" I smiled. Even the thought of going to a brand new school couldn't get the smile off my face today. I put my hand over my eyes to block the sun. Dad reached into the dashboard and threw a pair of huge thick rimmed glasses.
"Thanks!" I put them on and they covered half my face.
"So what's the deal with the hat?" he laughed.
I told him the story of the old lady on the plane and he laughed.
"That's not something you hear everyday!" he laughed.
"I know! I can see the headline 'EVIL GENIUS GRANDMA GETS BUSTED FOR BOMB IN NEEDLES'
Dad was wetting himself as we pulled into the drive.
I grabbed my bag from the back and fowelled him.
"Let's go out the back and I'll show you the pool." He shouted at the top of his voice.
"Ok..." I laughed.
I fowelled him out the side of the house.
"SURPRISE!!!"
