"Is There A Gas Leak?", chapter 12
RECAP:
I stopped and thought hard. For some reason that night came flooding back all at once.
END RECAP
**Carl's POV**
"I remember that night." I said and stopped. "We were drunk, but I was really wasted. I remember we were gonna fuck one last time before I left. And I'm not going to go into details... " I said looking at Jason and Billie. They looked as if they understood.
"Umm were just going to leave now... " Billie said and him and Jason both left.
I stopped and waited until I heard the door slam shut and looked straight unto her eyes, "I remember I pushed you down and held you still, you fought and fought and fought, and then I just beat you more and then just... Oh god how could I? Just give me one more chance Lizzie. I don't deserve it, trust me I know." I pleaded
"Why should I?" she asked "I told you last night not to get totally pissed. You asked me why and I told you that you had to TRUST me. And you didn't. I'll think about it, but for now get the hell out of my sight."
I walked back down the stairs and back to my own bus. Heartbroken and distressed at the memory of what I did. It seamed so unreal but I could remember so vividly, and had no clue why I did what I did.
**Lizzie's POV**
"My life is fucked." I said to no one. I walked into the bathroom in search of one thing, a razor. I hated to go back to old habits. After being clean, and off my usual "sleep aid" it sickened me. But now was just one time. One cut. "One, and that's it." I mentally promised myself and found what I was looking for, and did what I wanted to do for years. I put it back exactly where I found it and looked for something to do. I found a guitar and figured there was nothing else better to do.
Nothing came to mind after minutes of strumming random chords on my bunk, except that one Natalie Imbruglia song, Torn. "Better than nothing I guess." I thought and started playing.
I thought I saw a man brought to life
He was warm
He came around like he was dignified
He showed me what it was to cry
Well you couldn't be that man I adored
You don't seem to know
Seem to care what your heart is for
But I don't know him anymore
There's nothing where he used to lie
The conversation has run dry
That's what's going on
Nothing's fine I'm torn
"Why does this sound so much like my life?" I thought as I came to the chorus and started to sing quietly, "I'm all out of faith. This is how I feel. I'm cold and I am shamed. Lying naked on the floor." and choked back tears while I did it. I heard footsteps and stopped. The guys were back. I put the guitar back and laid down. I heard Jason and Billie Joe talking but didn't care what they were saying. All of a sudden I started feeling sick and ran for the bathroom, and puked. "Oh god, puking!" I thought. "It can't be morning sickness it's almost afternoon. I haven't ate today... That could be it."
"Are you ok Lindsey?" Billie Joe asked from somewhere in the front of the bus.
"Yeah! I just haven't ate anything today, it used to happen all the time!" I said back.
"Ok, help yourself to whatever." he said. I finished barfing my brains up and then went back to my bunk. Today was my second show, all this shit couldn't distract me. The music. That was my #1 priority. I started to fall asleep, trying to leave the past and grasp the future.
***
**Carl's POV**
We're in Jersey... Never been to Jersey. I know tonight is going to be total hell. New town new set of problems. I looked at the schedule that I tacked up by my bunk. Continental Arena... No clue where in the hell that is I looked again and saw the oldest picture I had of me and Lindsey... The one when she was 13 and I was 15. We were just friends and it was taken backstage on an opening night. I remember it... Her first show as stage manager. That seamed so long ago when I use to help out the middle school theater kids. She hasn't changed much... A little taller, a little thinner, and her hair isn't blonde anymore. You haven't seen a girl until you've seen one in blue curls. I could feel my eyes water, and overflow.
"Hey man I was wondering if... " Brian said and stopped, "Dude, are you crying?" he asked
"Dust in my eyes, these bunks are dirty, I think Michael should complain about this for awhile." I said as a quick excuse.
"Ok man whatever, up for a game of black jack?" he said I nodded and followed him.
***
**Lindsey's POV**
I felt someone shaking me and decided to wake up. I looked up and saw Jason.
"We're here you can wake up anytime. We've only been trying to wake you up for," he glanced at his watch "like 10 minutes."
"Ok, I'm up I'm up." I said and grabbed my clothes for tonight and changed. I got to the venue and started to unpack the equipment. I think Billie had to be right when he called tour a "traveling circus" it felt like da ja vou after 2 days. After a while Michael ran up and I could only think one thing "Ah, shit, what in the hell did I do wrong?" he wanted me to run back to the guys and give them the papers of all the shit he'd changed. I walked back to wardrobe and knocked. Mike came and opened the door.
"Hey, how ya feeling?" he asked
"I'm holding up, but I think your going to be pissed, look at all the shit that the dumbass has changed now." I said and handed him the shit that the dumbass had changed.
"You better pray that that Mike doesn't go dead, I don't think it'll last," I said pointing at one of the papers "And that isn't going to be loud enough."
"He's so damn fired when we can get someone else. Do what you guys need to do, this is our fucking show." he said. Then suddenly I started to smell someone's cologne and it started to get to me.
"Sensitivity to smell... Shit... " I mumbled under my breath
"What?" Mike said
"Um, nothing just thinking, I think I can fix what Michael's fucked up."
***
(Later that night still Lizzie's POV)
The show was going great but I could see one of the light strips swaying back and forth.
"Michael! That light strip," I said pointing to the one that was obviously falling, "is going to fall get someone up there!" I said
"We don't have anyone to spare. If it falls, just hope no one's under it." he said
"What do you mean hope no one's under it? How the hell do you think I noticed it. It's right above Tre and would probably take out the other one next to it and hit Jason F. And Ron you ass!"
"Nothing I can do." he said simply and walked away.
I ran back and got behind Tre and started to act like I was fixing one of the Mike's but was actually making sure it couldn't pick up my voice and said "Ok, the light strip above you is coming down. Your stage manager knows but has no one to "spare" and doesn't care if your head is cracked open when it falls. I hate heights but can probably hold it for the rest of the show but your on your own." I said with urge in my voice
"Shit, ok go but please let me know if it's coming down!" Tre said
"Don't worry, you'll know. I told other stage hands to watch for it since their not sure what part broke but I've seen it before. Brian's going to tell Mike and Jack's going to tell Jason and Billie."
I ran off and took a deep breath and started to climb up one of the rope ladders they used to put the rigging up. I found the right cable and got it to stop swaying. I looked down and almost barfed... I hate heights. Suddenly I felt the strip falling. Well, I thought it was the strip until I realized it was the both of us.
"O shit." I said and felt the rope slip slightly and then my body drop down even more. Something told me I would hit the floor before the light strip did..
I stopped and thought hard. For some reason that night came flooding back all at once.
END RECAP
**Carl's POV**
"I remember that night." I said and stopped. "We were drunk, but I was really wasted. I remember we were gonna fuck one last time before I left. And I'm not going to go into details... " I said looking at Jason and Billie. They looked as if they understood.
"Umm were just going to leave now... " Billie said and him and Jason both left.
I stopped and waited until I heard the door slam shut and looked straight unto her eyes, "I remember I pushed you down and held you still, you fought and fought and fought, and then I just beat you more and then just... Oh god how could I? Just give me one more chance Lizzie. I don't deserve it, trust me I know." I pleaded
"Why should I?" she asked "I told you last night not to get totally pissed. You asked me why and I told you that you had to TRUST me. And you didn't. I'll think about it, but for now get the hell out of my sight."
I walked back down the stairs and back to my own bus. Heartbroken and distressed at the memory of what I did. It seamed so unreal but I could remember so vividly, and had no clue why I did what I did.
**Lizzie's POV**
"My life is fucked." I said to no one. I walked into the bathroom in search of one thing, a razor. I hated to go back to old habits. After being clean, and off my usual "sleep aid" it sickened me. But now was just one time. One cut. "One, and that's it." I mentally promised myself and found what I was looking for, and did what I wanted to do for years. I put it back exactly where I found it and looked for something to do. I found a guitar and figured there was nothing else better to do.
Nothing came to mind after minutes of strumming random chords on my bunk, except that one Natalie Imbruglia song, Torn. "Better than nothing I guess." I thought and started playing.
I thought I saw a man brought to life
He was warm
He came around like he was dignified
He showed me what it was to cry
Well you couldn't be that man I adored
You don't seem to know
Seem to care what your heart is for
But I don't know him anymore
There's nothing where he used to lie
The conversation has run dry
That's what's going on
Nothing's fine I'm torn
"Why does this sound so much like my life?" I thought as I came to the chorus and started to sing quietly, "I'm all out of faith. This is how I feel. I'm cold and I am shamed. Lying naked on the floor." and choked back tears while I did it. I heard footsteps and stopped. The guys were back. I put the guitar back and laid down. I heard Jason and Billie Joe talking but didn't care what they were saying. All of a sudden I started feeling sick and ran for the bathroom, and puked. "Oh god, puking!" I thought. "It can't be morning sickness it's almost afternoon. I haven't ate today... That could be it."
"Are you ok Lindsey?" Billie Joe asked from somewhere in the front of the bus.
"Yeah! I just haven't ate anything today, it used to happen all the time!" I said back.
"Ok, help yourself to whatever." he said. I finished barfing my brains up and then went back to my bunk. Today was my second show, all this shit couldn't distract me. The music. That was my #1 priority. I started to fall asleep, trying to leave the past and grasp the future.
***
**Carl's POV**
We're in Jersey... Never been to Jersey. I know tonight is going to be total hell. New town new set of problems. I looked at the schedule that I tacked up by my bunk. Continental Arena... No clue where in the hell that is I looked again and saw the oldest picture I had of me and Lindsey... The one when she was 13 and I was 15. We were just friends and it was taken backstage on an opening night. I remember it... Her first show as stage manager. That seamed so long ago when I use to help out the middle school theater kids. She hasn't changed much... A little taller, a little thinner, and her hair isn't blonde anymore. You haven't seen a girl until you've seen one in blue curls. I could feel my eyes water, and overflow.
"Hey man I was wondering if... " Brian said and stopped, "Dude, are you crying?" he asked
"Dust in my eyes, these bunks are dirty, I think Michael should complain about this for awhile." I said as a quick excuse.
"Ok man whatever, up for a game of black jack?" he said I nodded and followed him.
***
**Lindsey's POV**
I felt someone shaking me and decided to wake up. I looked up and saw Jason.
"We're here you can wake up anytime. We've only been trying to wake you up for," he glanced at his watch "like 10 minutes."
"Ok, I'm up I'm up." I said and grabbed my clothes for tonight and changed. I got to the venue and started to unpack the equipment. I think Billie had to be right when he called tour a "traveling circus" it felt like da ja vou after 2 days. After a while Michael ran up and I could only think one thing "Ah, shit, what in the hell did I do wrong?" he wanted me to run back to the guys and give them the papers of all the shit he'd changed. I walked back to wardrobe and knocked. Mike came and opened the door.
"Hey, how ya feeling?" he asked
"I'm holding up, but I think your going to be pissed, look at all the shit that the dumbass has changed now." I said and handed him the shit that the dumbass had changed.
"You better pray that that Mike doesn't go dead, I don't think it'll last," I said pointing at one of the papers "And that isn't going to be loud enough."
"He's so damn fired when we can get someone else. Do what you guys need to do, this is our fucking show." he said. Then suddenly I started to smell someone's cologne and it started to get to me.
"Sensitivity to smell... Shit... " I mumbled under my breath
"What?" Mike said
"Um, nothing just thinking, I think I can fix what Michael's fucked up."
***
(Later that night still Lizzie's POV)
The show was going great but I could see one of the light strips swaying back and forth.
"Michael! That light strip," I said pointing to the one that was obviously falling, "is going to fall get someone up there!" I said
"We don't have anyone to spare. If it falls, just hope no one's under it." he said
"What do you mean hope no one's under it? How the hell do you think I noticed it. It's right above Tre and would probably take out the other one next to it and hit Jason F. And Ron you ass!"
"Nothing I can do." he said simply and walked away.
I ran back and got behind Tre and started to act like I was fixing one of the Mike's but was actually making sure it couldn't pick up my voice and said "Ok, the light strip above you is coming down. Your stage manager knows but has no one to "spare" and doesn't care if your head is cracked open when it falls. I hate heights but can probably hold it for the rest of the show but your on your own." I said with urge in my voice
"Shit, ok go but please let me know if it's coming down!" Tre said
"Don't worry, you'll know. I told other stage hands to watch for it since their not sure what part broke but I've seen it before. Brian's going to tell Mike and Jack's going to tell Jason and Billie."
I ran off and took a deep breath and started to climb up one of the rope ladders they used to put the rigging up. I found the right cable and got it to stop swaying. I looked down and almost barfed... I hate heights. Suddenly I felt the strip falling. Well, I thought it was the strip until I realized it was the both of us.
"O shit." I said and felt the rope slip slightly and then my body drop down even more. Something told me I would hit the floor before the light strip did..
