What A Wonderful Caricature Of Intimacy, chapter 1
How do you measure pain? In the number of spilled drops of blood? How about the number of paces spread across the floor boards of one hallway leading to the front door? How about the number of tears that are dropped into the ocean...I don't think that you can measure pain. The job would be too hard and just too, well...painful?
Tears streamed down his face, and I sat helplessly not knowing what to do. Billie Joe had only cried a few times in front of me, and this being the third time. Adrienne has left him with nothing, except a broken heart and a sense of suicide. Me coming to this big ol' empty house was a attempt to clean up and get him to come out into actual daylight.
When I opened the door it smelled like old pizza and Heineken. Of course Billie's drink of choice. I found passed out beauty in the living room arms and legs sprawled all over the suede couch. My eyes rolled into the back of my head. It's been three months and he's still acting like he did after the first day.
"Billie.. Billie..." I walked over, trying not to trip over old bottles and pizza boxes. "Ew." It looked like he hadn't showered for days. His bangs were sticking to his forehead. His smooth skin on and around his face was now almost a full grown 5 o'clock shadow. Stains spread all over his Misfits shirt and sweat stains under the arms.
"Billie? Oh my god... get your lazy ass up. Jesus f'ing Christ..." I had no idea if the glass coffee table was going to hold me much longer. You know after Tre got on top of it one drunken night...Oh yeah that's right he just wanted to be a stripper?!?! Now little cracks drape are across it.
Billie Joe gave a light grunt as I poked him.
"Err get the fuck off of me!!"
"Oh lick my god damn 9... GET UP.. and get into the shower...YOU SMELL...the guys miss you and I MISS YOU. YOU SMELL...it looks like a something hairy attached your face...you have 37 messages on your answering machine-"
"Wait, let me guess, I FUCKING SMELL??"
Feeling very satisfied with myself I nodded. "Seriously there, buddy, you REEK! And I don't think that Mike and Tre have gone this long with out seeing you. They're more scared to come and see you...don't think it's not like they haven't thought of coming over...." He rolled his green eyes into the back of his head.
"Yeah right...if they really cared then they would of came...and do I see them?? NO." He began to say something else, but got interrupted by the side swipe of the table. "Fuck fuck fuck...mother fuckkkkkk," he yelled with clenched teeth.
The old glass table began to make shuffling sounds. My eyes followed him, his hips moving, more like sauntering, across the hard wood floor. His narrow shoulders looked more broad now that he was standing.
"You... with the nosy ass face... GO make coffee." I clicked my tongue.
"What, just because I'm in your house doesn't mean I'm your bitch!"
He stopped abruptly making me bump right into his ass. "Please go make coffee.... I really need to go take a shower and you're here... so just please... go make coffee?" I pushed him foreword slowly. "Kay.. Mr. Armstrong. I'm right on that!"
We split by the long grand stair case. I made my way to the kitchen and he to his special shower that just happened to be calling him. I threw the coffee into the old Bunn maker, grabbed the Rolling Stone that was on the counter and waited... waited for the coffee and waited for the Armstrong to get out of the shower.
A callused hand landed on my shoulder, making me take my eyes off of the article I was reading. "Do you want me get you the coffee for you too, masser? No, just kidding...I'll get it for you... sit, relax... spill your guts to me."
His head hung in his hands, and his body tensed up. His eyes moistened, and his emerald eyes turned into dark murky pools of angst. He hated Adrienne for taking his kids away, he hated her for putting him through hell, he hated her for making him look like a bad father, he hated her for all the headliners on People, Star, and least important J14. But over all he hated her for ripping his heart out and shoving 11 years down the drain.
And here we sit...for the second time in the past month. The tears streaked down his cheeks faster than anything I've seen before. "She fucked me over big time, Coop. I relied so much on her. I treated her with so much respect and graciousness you wouldn't even believe. Eleven goddamn years down the drain. I'm alone and have no where to go. Fuck, I miss Joey and Jake so much. More than I would on tour or in the studio. AWWW fuck." The rocker banged his fists on the black marble counter, causing my body to give a shudder.
"Come on, Billie, I'm always here for you. Don't say you're alone with nowhere to go. Come on, Mike and Tre have both been through sloppy divorces, they are always here for you!! And from last year when you were there for me when Eric and I broke up....I always return a favor. And this favor is NO problem to return. Yes I am perfectly aware that me and you always don't get along, but you're my best friend and we have a love hate relationship. And you know that's what is so appealing about me and you. Tell you the truth, maybe Adie was a little jealous of the way we bonded. I mean, it's not my fault I've known you since you were three! It's not my fault that you tell me everything, and it's not my fault I tell you everything. Ok, I can admit that me calling you at three in the morning is a little too weird but that's what BEST friends do. My apartment is always open, too... if you ever want to hang out and just talk. Kinda like when me and Eric split and you came over with a butt load of Ben and Jerry's, and we sat and watched reruns of Sex and the City.....wait, woah... I made you sound sooo gay. Oh how I love my gay little Billie!!"
A giggle emerged from his mouth. I gave a sigh of relief, seeing laughter cures everything...and one fucking giggle can go along way. The leading front man looked at his hands. Oh how can they master a guitar...but life on the other hand....Pssht, yeah right. With out notice Billie got up from the stool and dove into my arms. What a captivating hug. I felt every wave of doubt and fear pass from him to me. Just through his heart beat and his every breath he took.
I pushed his newly dyed blonde bangs out of his eyes, and kissed his cheek. "Shh, everything is gunna be ok...you'll get over her.. Not as fast as you'd like.. but definitely you will... then you'll find someone new. New and fresh. And she'll be the luckiest girl in the world."
"Is it wrong of me to be still in love with her?"
I snorted. "Hunny, even though you're not together, you'll still be in love with her. And even though you feel some hatred towards her, it's not real. It's just replacing the emotion you've lost. That's how it works. And it's PERFECTLY normal for you to feel like that."
"Are you sure... cuz I feel like SHIT... and all I feel like doing is telling her the truth.. but I'm afraid to tell her that because I'm afraid she's gunna say the exact opposite of what I want to hear and said....." He puts so much faith in me to tell him all the answers.
"Just think about whatever you're gunna do before you do it... you don't want it to blow up in your face. Trust me, that's the last thing you want to happen. And Billie Joe....just do what your heart says.. not what everyone else says.... kay?"
"Yeah, totally...do you want to go do something...I don't want to leave the house...I can't face the world.. not yet, anyway."
I wanted to punch him and wanted to shake him and tell him that he needed to go out and join society again, but I shoved those thoughts into the "don't use because everyone would hate you" file inside my head.
"Yeah, hmm, you want to just go watch TV or how bout go and, like, weed the backyard... I see all your flowers are coming in. And you want them to look good for when Joey and Jake come over and visit..."
Maybe that was a bad thing to say...just about the Joey and Jake thing...but he has realize that he probably wont get custody. Not when he's gone 9 out of the 12 months and is almost always in the studio when he's not touring.
"Well, ahh yeah... let's go weed the garden... I mean I need to at least make this place look somewhat well kept. Just to rub in that bitch's face that I can keep everything in order when she's not here to be Mrs. Housewife."
Hmm, almost what I was hoping for. The bitch thing could have been left out...but at least he's getting over her. Don't get me wrong, right now my feelings towards Adrienne are a little bitter, but she is an amazing person. She worked real hard on their marriage but it obviously wasn't meant to be. But in the back of my mind I am screaming "Bitch," "Bitch, how could of you do that to my best friend..." or "OH MY GOD YOU BITCH!" and I don't want to say or think those things about Adie.
Billie Joe went MIA looking for glove and shovels for the whole weeding deal. I'm not quite the gardener but it looked like an over grown jungle out there. Bushes not looking neat and tidy like they once were, the dandelions were taking over the lawn and flower beds, and the flowers themselves we look very thirsty. Some of them were totally wilted and brown, probably not ever going to come back to life.
Finally the blondie came back into the kitchen with two hand shovels and one pair of gloves.
"Here.. you can use the gloves... my hands can take the abuse." I took the white and flower patterned gloves from him as well as the green handled shovel.
The glass sliding door stuck as I pulled it back. The radio/cd player almost fell out of my arms as I finally got the door open. The 82 degree heat hit me with a very present smack in the face. Him too, I could tell with the look on his face. I wouldn't expect him to feel very comfortable in the heat, he's been sitting in an air conditioned house for the last month, remember?
We both sat on the couch with an over exhausted sigh. Four hours in the blazing sun can damage your strength, and perspective on a lot of things. It's good that we did it though. Billie Joe got a lot of things off of his chest and into the open for the first time. His true feelings towards Adrienne, to his VERY true feelings towards his success with Green Day, and to just life itself. Some of it surprised me.
Billie has been kind of a private person over the years on the subjects we discussed. It was the first time I had heard about things. Things that were to the importance to the real reasons the divorce was declared. It wasn't all because of the fact he wasn't there, it wasn't about that at all really. It was the fact she was jealous of me. Yes, I know you reading this might say that I'm a selfish whore and I wanted them to split. YEAH, NOT REALLY.
Behind the scenes I was giving Billie ideas on how to save the marriage. Either they weren't good enough or she didn't give a shit anymore. And what I just heard, I think it was she didn't give a shit anymore.
And I don't know why she was jealous in the first place. Whatever. I'm done with her. I'm done with her calling me and bitching about him to me. I can't take being in the middle of their arguments. AND I'm tired of being eyed by her as a whore, who's fooling around with Billie Joe. How I won't miss those accusations....me and Billie...yeah right.
I looked over at Billie Joe. His eyes closed and head resting on the back of the couch. Tisk tisk Mr. Armstrong, already asleep. I took the blanket from the ottoman and covered sleeping beauty. I leaned in and kissed his forehead. But for some reason I felt his hands snake around my waist.
"Billie, what are you doing?" His grip loosened on my waist.
"Ahh, just trying to give you a hug good bye? Yeah, so bye... I think I'm gunna go up to my bed then...see yah, bye."
He was up the stairs and with the door shut before I could even ask what was so wrong with him. Hmm k, then. I took a go around the house before leaving to make sure doors and windows were closed and locked, and made sure Sadie was fed and had water. Stupid fucking dog started to show me too much love while I was doing the household chore. My leg with never be the same.
Bright golden sun poured through the closed sheer curtains of my bedroom. Illuminating my body from up and over my comforter. Then thoughts of the up and coming day pounded against my head. Today was the 5th of the month, and every 5th of the month Tre, Mike, Billie, and I got together at Johnny Mallows.
Johnny Mallows being the dark bar in the heart of Oakland, and the 5 of the month...that number of choice was picked by none other than...Tre fucking Cool. He said it was his lucky number. Tre Cool of all people doesn't need luck. He was just born good like that. Fuck, he could break 45 mirrors, have 35 black cats cross his path, stand and walk under 7 ladders, and of all things come out with NO harm done. That's just because he was born good.
Other people.. cough cough, like me...need all the luck they can get. From boyfriends to jobs I've pretty much been dumped on. When you hear Cooper Draga... you think, wow, what a unlucky sunuva bitch that one is. But I've been called worse...believe it or not.
Billie always brings it up. Never really lets it go. That whole shpeal actually started at Johnny Mallows. So from then on I was declared the most unlucky woman in California. Pshht, yeah, kay...
I forced myself out of bed, hoping Billie got my message last night about Johnny's. He's missed two get-togethers because of the divorce. The stupid hearing was on one, and two because he was too depressed to go outside. So today better not be a number two kind of day.
Thoughts of him not showing up were causing a catastrophe to make and replay in my head. Tre would sit there and bitch about Billie and Adrienne, causing Mike to get pissy and defensive of the whole situation, then making me become mom and settle the whole big huge argument between band mates and best friends. Then the date would end in an awkward silence.
I called him after I got home... He didn't answer the phone. No surprise there. But I left a message: "Hey Bill... hope you can make it tomorrow.. You know it's the 5th and all........ The boys miss you...please come... and, ahh... ... ... .. Whatever happened between me and you... you know, on the couch... I won't ever bring it up.. so just forget about it.... so, ahh, call me tomorrow... when you get up.... so I can make sure you're coming and all?? Night, Mr. Armstrong.... pleasant dreams." The only reason I said the last part is because I knew he heard every word I had said.
See, he has an answering machine in his room, sitting right next to his king sized bed, on top of the deep mahogany night stand. So whatever you say, he hears. And we all know he wouldn't be sleeping. All the stress building up would make that insomniac be an even bigger one.
The phone rang while I brushed my teeth. Making it extra hard to go and just grab the phone.
"Hewo... yes, dis is Coopwer Dwaga.." I spit the remnants of toothpaste into the sink. "Shut the fuck up, Billie...so are you coming to Johnny's??? I can't bear to be there, just them... again." I heard him sigh...trying to choose the right decision. Whether to leave the house was a "big" step for this little man.
"Yeah, I guess... but... yeah, I'm gunna come... just make sure... nothing happens out of the ordinary." I shook my head like an idiot.
"Yeah, sure...well I have to take a shower...which is a good idea for you too...I mean you are, yah know, s'pose to take one, like.. I don't know, every day?"
"Yeah, I know, Cooper, but.. yeah. Kay.. Talk to yah later... bye."
"Bye."
I set the phone back on its cradle and wondered, what could happen out of the ordinary?
The heavy door was hard to open at Johnny's. I didn't think anyone was there yet, so I took our usual booth in the very back corner. Rebecca, the waitress who usually served us, came over.
"Hey Coop..? How are you?" Her fake smile was annoying.
"Oh, pretty good...just trying to nurse Billie back to health." Her fake smile grew bigger, and made me feel more specious.
"Yeah, poor guy... well, ahh, is he seeing anyone yet?" My eyes grew big, and I think I might have winced at her bringing that up.
"No...and why?" She took her time choosing her words.
"Oh, well I've had a definite crush on him over the years...so I was just wondering if he was seeing any one yet." Wow, this bitch is stupid.
"Ok, listen real close, hunny, the man just got out of a VERY sloppy divorce, and doesn't need any groupie bitches wanting to tag along. He doesn't need his heart broken again. So force any ideas of you and him...OUT of your head."
I stopped what I was saying because the man of the hour was coming in right now. Miss Gold Digger huffed off, leaving me with a dirty look.
A hat on his very vibrant blonde hair, and dark thick rimmed sunglasses were coating his face. Semi-shielding his face from fans who don't know when to quit.
He hates that. Yes he enjoys his fans; hell, he loves them. But when they come up to him with a dumb look on their face, and "ahh" and "umm" are the only things that come out of their mouths...he gets a little "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME," which is totally understandable.
He took a seat next to me. "Are you gunna take the garb off? Or are you rather comfortable with looking like an idiot?" The slick blonde's elbow landed between two of my ribs.
"Ow!"
He smirked.
"Hmmph, fine....I guess I won't tell you what that skanky waitress said about you.." I studied my nails, making me seem like I wasn't that enthralled in his love life.
"What...? Cooper Marie...what are you talking about?" Pushy there, boy.
"Hey, don't middle name me... Well that skank asked about you.. and if you're seeing anyone-"
"And you said??" Oh my god, is he actually taking an interest in her? Yes, there was always the careless flirting, but that's just Billie.
"I told her.. ahh, hey, there's Mike and Tre! Hey you guys, we're over here..."
Mr. Cool looked rather nice in his pink tie and shirt, his mohawk standing very presently on the top of his head. His white sunglasses bounced the sunlight right into my eyes. Hmmph, thanks there, buddy. Mr. Michael was just in a wife beater... like usual. His freshly dyed hair also looked good. Yes, I had talked him into going a little darker than he has done in the past. I like it. Billie thought he looked like a homo, but look at him. Now there is some definite homo-ness to his nice and BLONDE locks.
"Hey dude...!" Hugs were exchanged between the best friends. It truly warmed my heart.
Tears streamed down his face, and I sat helplessly not knowing what to do. Billie Joe had only cried a few times in front of me, and this being the third time. Adrienne has left him with nothing, except a broken heart and a sense of suicide. Me coming to this big ol' empty house was a attempt to clean up and get him to come out into actual daylight.
When I opened the door it smelled like old pizza and Heineken. Of course Billie's drink of choice. I found passed out beauty in the living room arms and legs sprawled all over the suede couch. My eyes rolled into the back of my head. It's been three months and he's still acting like he did after the first day.
"Billie.. Billie..." I walked over, trying not to trip over old bottles and pizza boxes. "Ew." It looked like he hadn't showered for days. His bangs were sticking to his forehead. His smooth skin on and around his face was now almost a full grown 5 o'clock shadow. Stains spread all over his Misfits shirt and sweat stains under the arms.
"Billie? Oh my god... get your lazy ass up. Jesus f'ing Christ..." I had no idea if the glass coffee table was going to hold me much longer. You know after Tre got on top of it one drunken night...Oh yeah that's right he just wanted to be a stripper?!?! Now little cracks drape are across it.
Billie Joe gave a light grunt as I poked him.
"Err get the fuck off of me!!"
"Oh lick my god damn 9... GET UP.. and get into the shower...YOU SMELL...the guys miss you and I MISS YOU. YOU SMELL...it looks like a something hairy attached your face...you have 37 messages on your answering machine-"
"Wait, let me guess, I FUCKING SMELL??"
Feeling very satisfied with myself I nodded. "Seriously there, buddy, you REEK! And I don't think that Mike and Tre have gone this long with out seeing you. They're more scared to come and see you...don't think it's not like they haven't thought of coming over...." He rolled his green eyes into the back of his head.
"Yeah right...if they really cared then they would of came...and do I see them?? NO." He began to say something else, but got interrupted by the side swipe of the table. "Fuck fuck fuck...mother fuckkkkkk," he yelled with clenched teeth.
The old glass table began to make shuffling sounds. My eyes followed him, his hips moving, more like sauntering, across the hard wood floor. His narrow shoulders looked more broad now that he was standing.
"You... with the nosy ass face... GO make coffee." I clicked my tongue.
"What, just because I'm in your house doesn't mean I'm your bitch!"
He stopped abruptly making me bump right into his ass. "Please go make coffee.... I really need to go take a shower and you're here... so just please... go make coffee?" I pushed him foreword slowly. "Kay.. Mr. Armstrong. I'm right on that!"
We split by the long grand stair case. I made my way to the kitchen and he to his special shower that just happened to be calling him. I threw the coffee into the old Bunn maker, grabbed the Rolling Stone that was on the counter and waited... waited for the coffee and waited for the Armstrong to get out of the shower.
A callused hand landed on my shoulder, making me take my eyes off of the article I was reading. "Do you want me get you the coffee for you too, masser? No, just kidding...I'll get it for you... sit, relax... spill your guts to me."
His head hung in his hands, and his body tensed up. His eyes moistened, and his emerald eyes turned into dark murky pools of angst. He hated Adrienne for taking his kids away, he hated her for putting him through hell, he hated her for making him look like a bad father, he hated her for all the headliners on People, Star, and least important J14. But over all he hated her for ripping his heart out and shoving 11 years down the drain.
And here we sit...for the second time in the past month. The tears streaked down his cheeks faster than anything I've seen before. "She fucked me over big time, Coop. I relied so much on her. I treated her with so much respect and graciousness you wouldn't even believe. Eleven goddamn years down the drain. I'm alone and have no where to go. Fuck, I miss Joey and Jake so much. More than I would on tour or in the studio. AWWW fuck." The rocker banged his fists on the black marble counter, causing my body to give a shudder.
"Come on, Billie, I'm always here for you. Don't say you're alone with nowhere to go. Come on, Mike and Tre have both been through sloppy divorces, they are always here for you!! And from last year when you were there for me when Eric and I broke up....I always return a favor. And this favor is NO problem to return. Yes I am perfectly aware that me and you always don't get along, but you're my best friend and we have a love hate relationship. And you know that's what is so appealing about me and you. Tell you the truth, maybe Adie was a little jealous of the way we bonded. I mean, it's not my fault I've known you since you were three! It's not my fault that you tell me everything, and it's not my fault I tell you everything. Ok, I can admit that me calling you at three in the morning is a little too weird but that's what BEST friends do. My apartment is always open, too... if you ever want to hang out and just talk. Kinda like when me and Eric split and you came over with a butt load of Ben and Jerry's, and we sat and watched reruns of Sex and the City.....wait, woah... I made you sound sooo gay. Oh how I love my gay little Billie!!"
A giggle emerged from his mouth. I gave a sigh of relief, seeing laughter cures everything...and one fucking giggle can go along way. The leading front man looked at his hands. Oh how can they master a guitar...but life on the other hand....Pssht, yeah right. With out notice Billie got up from the stool and dove into my arms. What a captivating hug. I felt every wave of doubt and fear pass from him to me. Just through his heart beat and his every breath he took.
I pushed his newly dyed blonde bangs out of his eyes, and kissed his cheek. "Shh, everything is gunna be ok...you'll get over her.. Not as fast as you'd like.. but definitely you will... then you'll find someone new. New and fresh. And she'll be the luckiest girl in the world."
"Is it wrong of me to be still in love with her?"
I snorted. "Hunny, even though you're not together, you'll still be in love with her. And even though you feel some hatred towards her, it's not real. It's just replacing the emotion you've lost. That's how it works. And it's PERFECTLY normal for you to feel like that."
"Are you sure... cuz I feel like SHIT... and all I feel like doing is telling her the truth.. but I'm afraid to tell her that because I'm afraid she's gunna say the exact opposite of what I want to hear and said....." He puts so much faith in me to tell him all the answers.
"Just think about whatever you're gunna do before you do it... you don't want it to blow up in your face. Trust me, that's the last thing you want to happen. And Billie Joe....just do what your heart says.. not what everyone else says.... kay?"
"Yeah, totally...do you want to go do something...I don't want to leave the house...I can't face the world.. not yet, anyway."
I wanted to punch him and wanted to shake him and tell him that he needed to go out and join society again, but I shoved those thoughts into the "don't use because everyone would hate you" file inside my head.
"Yeah, hmm, you want to just go watch TV or how bout go and, like, weed the backyard... I see all your flowers are coming in. And you want them to look good for when Joey and Jake come over and visit..."
Maybe that was a bad thing to say...just about the Joey and Jake thing...but he has realize that he probably wont get custody. Not when he's gone 9 out of the 12 months and is almost always in the studio when he's not touring.
"Well, ahh yeah... let's go weed the garden... I mean I need to at least make this place look somewhat well kept. Just to rub in that bitch's face that I can keep everything in order when she's not here to be Mrs. Housewife."
Hmm, almost what I was hoping for. The bitch thing could have been left out...but at least he's getting over her. Don't get me wrong, right now my feelings towards Adrienne are a little bitter, but she is an amazing person. She worked real hard on their marriage but it obviously wasn't meant to be. But in the back of my mind I am screaming "Bitch," "Bitch, how could of you do that to my best friend..." or "OH MY GOD YOU BITCH!" and I don't want to say or think those things about Adie.
Billie Joe went MIA looking for glove and shovels for the whole weeding deal. I'm not quite the gardener but it looked like an over grown jungle out there. Bushes not looking neat and tidy like they once were, the dandelions were taking over the lawn and flower beds, and the flowers themselves we look very thirsty. Some of them were totally wilted and brown, probably not ever going to come back to life.
Finally the blondie came back into the kitchen with two hand shovels and one pair of gloves.
"Here.. you can use the gloves... my hands can take the abuse." I took the white and flower patterned gloves from him as well as the green handled shovel.
The glass sliding door stuck as I pulled it back. The radio/cd player almost fell out of my arms as I finally got the door open. The 82 degree heat hit me with a very present smack in the face. Him too, I could tell with the look on his face. I wouldn't expect him to feel very comfortable in the heat, he's been sitting in an air conditioned house for the last month, remember?
We both sat on the couch with an over exhausted sigh. Four hours in the blazing sun can damage your strength, and perspective on a lot of things. It's good that we did it though. Billie Joe got a lot of things off of his chest and into the open for the first time. His true feelings towards Adrienne, to his VERY true feelings towards his success with Green Day, and to just life itself. Some of it surprised me.
Billie has been kind of a private person over the years on the subjects we discussed. It was the first time I had heard about things. Things that were to the importance to the real reasons the divorce was declared. It wasn't all because of the fact he wasn't there, it wasn't about that at all really. It was the fact she was jealous of me. Yes, I know you reading this might say that I'm a selfish whore and I wanted them to split. YEAH, NOT REALLY.
Behind the scenes I was giving Billie ideas on how to save the marriage. Either they weren't good enough or she didn't give a shit anymore. And what I just heard, I think it was she didn't give a shit anymore.
And I don't know why she was jealous in the first place. Whatever. I'm done with her. I'm done with her calling me and bitching about him to me. I can't take being in the middle of their arguments. AND I'm tired of being eyed by her as a whore, who's fooling around with Billie Joe. How I won't miss those accusations....me and Billie...yeah right.
I looked over at Billie Joe. His eyes closed and head resting on the back of the couch. Tisk tisk Mr. Armstrong, already asleep. I took the blanket from the ottoman and covered sleeping beauty. I leaned in and kissed his forehead. But for some reason I felt his hands snake around my waist.
"Billie, what are you doing?" His grip loosened on my waist.
"Ahh, just trying to give you a hug good bye? Yeah, so bye... I think I'm gunna go up to my bed then...see yah, bye."
He was up the stairs and with the door shut before I could even ask what was so wrong with him. Hmm k, then. I took a go around the house before leaving to make sure doors and windows were closed and locked, and made sure Sadie was fed and had water. Stupid fucking dog started to show me too much love while I was doing the household chore. My leg with never be the same.
Bright golden sun poured through the closed sheer curtains of my bedroom. Illuminating my body from up and over my comforter. Then thoughts of the up and coming day pounded against my head. Today was the 5th of the month, and every 5th of the month Tre, Mike, Billie, and I got together at Johnny Mallows.
Johnny Mallows being the dark bar in the heart of Oakland, and the 5 of the month...that number of choice was picked by none other than...Tre fucking Cool. He said it was his lucky number. Tre Cool of all people doesn't need luck. He was just born good like that. Fuck, he could break 45 mirrors, have 35 black cats cross his path, stand and walk under 7 ladders, and of all things come out with NO harm done. That's just because he was born good.
Other people.. cough cough, like me...need all the luck they can get. From boyfriends to jobs I've pretty much been dumped on. When you hear Cooper Draga... you think, wow, what a unlucky sunuva bitch that one is. But I've been called worse...believe it or not.
Billie always brings it up. Never really lets it go. That whole shpeal actually started at Johnny Mallows. So from then on I was declared the most unlucky woman in California. Pshht, yeah, kay...
I forced myself out of bed, hoping Billie got my message last night about Johnny's. He's missed two get-togethers because of the divorce. The stupid hearing was on one, and two because he was too depressed to go outside. So today better not be a number two kind of day.
Thoughts of him not showing up were causing a catastrophe to make and replay in my head. Tre would sit there and bitch about Billie and Adrienne, causing Mike to get pissy and defensive of the whole situation, then making me become mom and settle the whole big huge argument between band mates and best friends. Then the date would end in an awkward silence.
I called him after I got home... He didn't answer the phone. No surprise there. But I left a message: "Hey Bill... hope you can make it tomorrow.. You know it's the 5th and all........ The boys miss you...please come... and, ahh... ... ... .. Whatever happened between me and you... you know, on the couch... I won't ever bring it up.. so just forget about it.... so, ahh, call me tomorrow... when you get up.... so I can make sure you're coming and all?? Night, Mr. Armstrong.... pleasant dreams." The only reason I said the last part is because I knew he heard every word I had said.
See, he has an answering machine in his room, sitting right next to his king sized bed, on top of the deep mahogany night stand. So whatever you say, he hears. And we all know he wouldn't be sleeping. All the stress building up would make that insomniac be an even bigger one.
The phone rang while I brushed my teeth. Making it extra hard to go and just grab the phone.
"Hewo... yes, dis is Coopwer Dwaga.." I spit the remnants of toothpaste into the sink. "Shut the fuck up, Billie...so are you coming to Johnny's??? I can't bear to be there, just them... again." I heard him sigh...trying to choose the right decision. Whether to leave the house was a "big" step for this little man.
"Yeah, I guess... but... yeah, I'm gunna come... just make sure... nothing happens out of the ordinary." I shook my head like an idiot.
"Yeah, sure...well I have to take a shower...which is a good idea for you too...I mean you are, yah know, s'pose to take one, like.. I don't know, every day?"
"Yeah, I know, Cooper, but.. yeah. Kay.. Talk to yah later... bye."
"Bye."
I set the phone back on its cradle and wondered, what could happen out of the ordinary?
The heavy door was hard to open at Johnny's. I didn't think anyone was there yet, so I took our usual booth in the very back corner. Rebecca, the waitress who usually served us, came over.
"Hey Coop..? How are you?" Her fake smile was annoying.
"Oh, pretty good...just trying to nurse Billie back to health." Her fake smile grew bigger, and made me feel more specious.
"Yeah, poor guy... well, ahh, is he seeing anyone yet?" My eyes grew big, and I think I might have winced at her bringing that up.
"No...and why?" She took her time choosing her words.
"Oh, well I've had a definite crush on him over the years...so I was just wondering if he was seeing any one yet." Wow, this bitch is stupid.
"Ok, listen real close, hunny, the man just got out of a VERY sloppy divorce, and doesn't need any groupie bitches wanting to tag along. He doesn't need his heart broken again. So force any ideas of you and him...OUT of your head."
I stopped what I was saying because the man of the hour was coming in right now. Miss Gold Digger huffed off, leaving me with a dirty look.
A hat on his very vibrant blonde hair, and dark thick rimmed sunglasses were coating his face. Semi-shielding his face from fans who don't know when to quit.
He hates that. Yes he enjoys his fans; hell, he loves them. But when they come up to him with a dumb look on their face, and "ahh" and "umm" are the only things that come out of their mouths...he gets a little "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME," which is totally understandable.
He took a seat next to me. "Are you gunna take the garb off? Or are you rather comfortable with looking like an idiot?" The slick blonde's elbow landed between two of my ribs.
"Ow!"
He smirked.
"Hmmph, fine....I guess I won't tell you what that skanky waitress said about you.." I studied my nails, making me seem like I wasn't that enthralled in his love life.
"What...? Cooper Marie...what are you talking about?" Pushy there, boy.
"Hey, don't middle name me... Well that skank asked about you.. and if you're seeing anyone-"
"And you said??" Oh my god, is he actually taking an interest in her? Yes, there was always the careless flirting, but that's just Billie.
"I told her.. ahh, hey, there's Mike and Tre! Hey you guys, we're over here..."
Mr. Cool looked rather nice in his pink tie and shirt, his mohawk standing very presently on the top of his head. His white sunglasses bounced the sunlight right into my eyes. Hmmph, thanks there, buddy. Mr. Michael was just in a wife beater... like usual. His freshly dyed hair also looked good. Yes, I had talked him into going a little darker than he has done in the past. I like it. Billie thought he looked like a homo, but look at him. Now there is some definite homo-ness to his nice and BLONDE locks.
"Hey dude...!" Hugs were exchanged between the best friends. It truly warmed my heart.
