Is Home Really Where The Heart Is?, chapter 10
It's the weekend! Yay weekends! Saturday morning cartoons! I shall call Syd!
"Hello?" someone answers.
"Is Syd there?"
"Umm...no she's not bye!" then there was some one shouting in the background. I heard some thumping noises and figured she was just repeatedly hitting her brother in the head with a blue, no wait!, yes, a green notebook.
"Hello?" she asked.
"Hola."
"I'm watching cartoons! On Saturday morning!...therefore they are Saturday Morning Cartoons, or SMC!" she was hyped up on sugar already I could tell.
"Did you eat frosted flakes for breakfast?"
"YEAH! How'd you know that?!"
"I'm psychic."
"Cool...so what cartoon am I watching?"
"The Road Runner and Coyote thingy..." I was bored so I blurted out a random cartoon.
"You really are psychic!"
"No, I was watching it, so I guessed you were too."
"Oh...liar! Oh crap, I see Ben coming with a pillow...and that pillow doesn't look like its soft...I gotta go...now! Bye"
"Uhh...Bye?"
But she never hung up the phone, so I heard everything. More entertaining than a coyote drawing tunnels on a rock if you ask me. After a few minutes it died down and I heard some one yelling at Syd, it was a boy, which means it was either Ben, Jerry, David, or Joseph...I doubt it was the younger ones, so I'll say Ben, 'cause the voice didn't sound gay.
"Sydney you retard! You forgot to hang up the phone again!" he yelled.
"I didn't hang it up 'cause I would assume she'd call the police after hearing that, but obviously that psychic thing only goes one way! Hello?" she was talking to me now.
"Yes?"
"Why didn't you call the police?! Or at least the dry cleaners!?"
"The dry cleaners?" I questioned.
"I got a stain on my shirt from the chocolate ice cream..."
"You had ice cream?! It's not even 12 yet!"
"I ran out of frosted flakes."
"And how many bowls of frosted flakes did you have?"
"One point two four...boxes."
"Boxes?!" I can't believe she could eat almost 2 boxes of cereal and still be hungry.
"Yes...I was hungry and I don't get proper nourishment!"
"Wait, if your mom is all 'have some more tofu and soy milk', how'd you get ice cream and frosted flakes?"
There was silence on the other end.
"Syd?"
"Yes?"
"Answer me!"
"I have a small refrigerator in my closet. Why else do you think I'm always broke?"
"I assumed your brothers stole it."
"You should never assume, because it makes an-"
"I know, I know..."
"I'm coming over now."
"Huh? Wait, what?"
"I just remembered, you have a chef in your house...a professional chef...who can cook...real food...any bells beginning to chime?"
"Nope, I have no clue what you're talking about."
"Good, I'll be over in ten minutes. Bye!" and with that she hung up for good.
"Oh Sydney..." I mumbled to myself. But sure enough, within ten minutes Syd was ringing the doorbell. But this time I was ready for it and I didn't jump...that much. My mom went and answered the door. As soon as she opened the door I heard Syd's voice fill the house at a mile a minute. Or at least it was really fast...
"Hi, Carl's mom, I'm you're new neighbor, Sydney Overman. Well technically, I live across the street because neighbors are on each side of your house not across the street, 'cause, you know, the street's in the way. So I was talking to Carl this morning and I was saying about how I was watching cartoons when my brother, Ben, not Jerry, David or Joseph, attacked me with a pillow. But is wasn't a soft pillow like I was expecting, no of course it wouldn't be. It was filled with Joseph's legos. Which now that I think about it, that would be considered a pillow case, not a pillow, filled with legos. So I was talking and then I never hung up and then I came back and was all 'why didn't you call the police or dry cleaners? I got ice cream on my shirt'. And Carl was all 'You had ice cream already?' and I was like 'Yeah and one and a half boxes of frosted flakes.'. Then Carl was like 'So that's why you're always broke, I thought your brothers stole your money.' and I was like 'No, now I'm coming over your house 'cause you have a chef there. One who doesn't eat tofu.' So I got dressed, which was basically putting on some jeans and brushing my hair...ok so I didn't brush my hair, but I did put the jeans on. Then Carl was like 'Sure, come on over!' I was like, 'Well, if you insist!'. So I came over and you answered the door and I started telling you why I was here," she finished with a large smile on her face. Wow, did she twist that around.
"Who's Carl?" my mom asked.
"That's Carlie. 'cause if you take the -ie off, it'd be Carl, so that's the nickname I gave her. Funny story about how I-"
"Carlie! Someone's here for you! And I think she forgot to take her Ritalin this morning!" my mom yelled.
"Oh my gosh, you're right I did! That psychic thing must run in the family. I'll be right back!" and she ran back to her house. That's when I came over to my mom.
"Carl? Psychic? What kind of things are you telling your new friends?!" her eyes got oddly wide.
"I, er..she's got ADHD, or something so don't mind her. The rest of my friends are perfectly normal, from what I can tell..." My mom left me there alone, except for Syd, and returned to her bedroom.
"I'M BAAAAAAAACK! My mom didn't refill my prescription, so I don't have any to take today! She said I could stay here all day too! Isn't that exciting! I smell...FOOD! Where is it?! I need food!" Syd ran into the kitchen. Wait, how'd she know where the kitchen was? It took me three days to remember where it was!
"Carl!" she popped her head out of the kitchen. "Did you know that you have more edible items on one shelf in your refrigerator then I have in my whole house?!" She stated as she gnawed on a piece of cheese.
"Umm...don't you want anything, like, actually cooked?"
"Would it taste any better?"
"Usually..."
"Ok! What can I have!?"
"Uhh...I have waffles?"
"WAFFLES?! WAFFLES! I LOVE WAFFLES! My mom won't get my waffles anymore 'cause she found it disturbing that I named the box...Wait, can I name your waffle box and trust you to never throw it away on me?!"
"Umm...ok." I took the waffles out and put a few in the toaster oven.
"YAY! He shall be...Marvin!"
"How do you know it's a guy?" I'm not sure I want to know now... She thought about it for a minute or two.
"If there's less than 2 waffles in the box, it's a girl; and more than 3 waffles it's a boy!"
"What if it's exactly two or three?"
"It's...umm...undefined for now."
"Oh boy." I handed her a plate of waffles.
"Mwa ha ha ha ha ha!" she laughed then attempted to pick up the waffles with her hands. "HOT! OWWW! Why didn't you warn me they were hot Carl?!"
"I thought it was common sense to not pick them up when they're right out of the toaster oven."
"Carl, Carl Carl,"
"My name is Carlie, and you better not where it out."
"Whoa, that'd make a cool song...anyway, you've known me long enough to know I have no common sense! Duh!"
"Oh yes, stupid me." I said smacking my forehead with my hand.
"It's ok Carl, we all have those days!"
"Some more than others." I muttered under my breath.
"What was that?"
"Nothing." she continued eating her waffles with her fingers despite the fact the I had given her a fork by now.
"You know, I think I'm just gonna call your mom to umm...uhh...bye." and I ran out of the kitchen. I heard her shouting something about her over-night bag and Billie Joe and Mike, but ignored it...on purpose.
I stopped when I saw Spunky, my dog, laying on the floor. I began to hatch an evil plan. Bwa ha ha ha ha!
"Spunky! You want some waffles? Huh, you do? Well come on then, let's go get those waffles!" I said in that weird voice people use when talking to their pets. He just gave me a 'you-deranged-person-why-are-you-talking-to-me-like-that' look.
"I'll race you!"
Well, that worked. I pretended to start running and he got up and ran to the kitchen. Even he knows where the kitchen is! I was really left out of this circle!
"AHHHH! THERE'S A DOG IN HERE! YOU NEVER SAID ANTHING ABOUT A DOG IN THE CONTRACT!" I heard Sydney yelling. I went into the kitchen and leaned against the doorway.
"There was no contract..."
"So." she began eating her waffles again, only now she was sitting Indian style on the counter.
"Oh yeah, this is Spunky, he's my dog."
"So I've seen." she mumbled between bites. "Wait, did you call Mike, or Billie, or Ed, no not Ed, or Cheyenne, or Delilah, or Brittany, or George?"
"Syd, George is a table...I don't think tables have telephone numbers."
"Sure they do! Haven't you ever been to a truck stop where there's a phone at the booth?! Come on, even I knew about those!"
"Those aren't...never mind."
"CALL!" she shouted, causing waffle bits to spray at me. Luckily I ducked fast enough to avoid the majority of the spray.
"Why don't you! There's a phone right behind you...besides you know their numbers, not me."
"Fine then I will!" and she leaned over picking up the phone. Then, after swallowing a whole waffle I swear, she started mumbling different numbers and names. Eventually Syd began dialing a number. You wanna hear what I heard? Well you going to anyway:
Syd- Hi! Is Mike there?! I need to talk to him!
Pause
Syd- Oh ok, well, tell him to come over Carl's house if you see him. He'll know what I'm talking about. Tell him it was Syd who left the message.
Pause
Syd- Ok then thanks bye!
"I had the wrong number," she said sadly. I couldn't help it, I was in stitches on the floor. Well, not literally, because I only have stitches in my head, but you get the idea.
"Hello?" someone answers.
"Is Syd there?"
"Umm...no she's not bye!" then there was some one shouting in the background. I heard some thumping noises and figured she was just repeatedly hitting her brother in the head with a blue, no wait!, yes, a green notebook.
"Hello?" she asked.
"Hola."
"I'm watching cartoons! On Saturday morning!...therefore they are Saturday Morning Cartoons, or SMC!" she was hyped up on sugar already I could tell.
"Did you eat frosted flakes for breakfast?"
"YEAH! How'd you know that?!"
"I'm psychic."
"Cool...so what cartoon am I watching?"
"The Road Runner and Coyote thingy..." I was bored so I blurted out a random cartoon.
"You really are psychic!"
"No, I was watching it, so I guessed you were too."
"Oh...liar! Oh crap, I see Ben coming with a pillow...and that pillow doesn't look like its soft...I gotta go...now! Bye"
"Uhh...Bye?"
But she never hung up the phone, so I heard everything. More entertaining than a coyote drawing tunnels on a rock if you ask me. After a few minutes it died down and I heard some one yelling at Syd, it was a boy, which means it was either Ben, Jerry, David, or Joseph...I doubt it was the younger ones, so I'll say Ben, 'cause the voice didn't sound gay.
"Sydney you retard! You forgot to hang up the phone again!" he yelled.
"I didn't hang it up 'cause I would assume she'd call the police after hearing that, but obviously that psychic thing only goes one way! Hello?" she was talking to me now.
"Yes?"
"Why didn't you call the police?! Or at least the dry cleaners!?"
"The dry cleaners?" I questioned.
"I got a stain on my shirt from the chocolate ice cream..."
"You had ice cream?! It's not even 12 yet!"
"I ran out of frosted flakes."
"And how many bowls of frosted flakes did you have?"
"One point two four...boxes."
"Boxes?!" I can't believe she could eat almost 2 boxes of cereal and still be hungry.
"Yes...I was hungry and I don't get proper nourishment!"
"Wait, if your mom is all 'have some more tofu and soy milk', how'd you get ice cream and frosted flakes?"
There was silence on the other end.
"Syd?"
"Yes?"
"Answer me!"
"I have a small refrigerator in my closet. Why else do you think I'm always broke?"
"I assumed your brothers stole it."
"You should never assume, because it makes an-"
"I know, I know..."
"I'm coming over now."
"Huh? Wait, what?"
"I just remembered, you have a chef in your house...a professional chef...who can cook...real food...any bells beginning to chime?"
"Nope, I have no clue what you're talking about."
"Good, I'll be over in ten minutes. Bye!" and with that she hung up for good.
"Oh Sydney..." I mumbled to myself. But sure enough, within ten minutes Syd was ringing the doorbell. But this time I was ready for it and I didn't jump...that much. My mom went and answered the door. As soon as she opened the door I heard Syd's voice fill the house at a mile a minute. Or at least it was really fast...
"Hi, Carl's mom, I'm you're new neighbor, Sydney Overman. Well technically, I live across the street because neighbors are on each side of your house not across the street, 'cause, you know, the street's in the way. So I was talking to Carl this morning and I was saying about how I was watching cartoons when my brother, Ben, not Jerry, David or Joseph, attacked me with a pillow. But is wasn't a soft pillow like I was expecting, no of course it wouldn't be. It was filled with Joseph's legos. Which now that I think about it, that would be considered a pillow case, not a pillow, filled with legos. So I was talking and then I never hung up and then I came back and was all 'why didn't you call the police or dry cleaners? I got ice cream on my shirt'. And Carl was all 'You had ice cream already?' and I was like 'Yeah and one and a half boxes of frosted flakes.'. Then Carl was like 'So that's why you're always broke, I thought your brothers stole your money.' and I was like 'No, now I'm coming over your house 'cause you have a chef there. One who doesn't eat tofu.' So I got dressed, which was basically putting on some jeans and brushing my hair...ok so I didn't brush my hair, but I did put the jeans on. Then Carl was like 'Sure, come on over!' I was like, 'Well, if you insist!'. So I came over and you answered the door and I started telling you why I was here," she finished with a large smile on her face. Wow, did she twist that around.
"Who's Carl?" my mom asked.
"That's Carlie. 'cause if you take the -ie off, it'd be Carl, so that's the nickname I gave her. Funny story about how I-"
"Carlie! Someone's here for you! And I think she forgot to take her Ritalin this morning!" my mom yelled.
"Oh my gosh, you're right I did! That psychic thing must run in the family. I'll be right back!" and she ran back to her house. That's when I came over to my mom.
"Carl? Psychic? What kind of things are you telling your new friends?!" her eyes got oddly wide.
"I, er..she's got ADHD, or something so don't mind her. The rest of my friends are perfectly normal, from what I can tell..." My mom left me there alone, except for Syd, and returned to her bedroom.
"I'M BAAAAAAAACK! My mom didn't refill my prescription, so I don't have any to take today! She said I could stay here all day too! Isn't that exciting! I smell...FOOD! Where is it?! I need food!" Syd ran into the kitchen. Wait, how'd she know where the kitchen was? It took me three days to remember where it was!
"Carl!" she popped her head out of the kitchen. "Did you know that you have more edible items on one shelf in your refrigerator then I have in my whole house?!" She stated as she gnawed on a piece of cheese.
"Umm...don't you want anything, like, actually cooked?"
"Would it taste any better?"
"Usually..."
"Ok! What can I have!?"
"Uhh...I have waffles?"
"WAFFLES?! WAFFLES! I LOVE WAFFLES! My mom won't get my waffles anymore 'cause she found it disturbing that I named the box...Wait, can I name your waffle box and trust you to never throw it away on me?!"
"Umm...ok." I took the waffles out and put a few in the toaster oven.
"YAY! He shall be...Marvin!"
"How do you know it's a guy?" I'm not sure I want to know now... She thought about it for a minute or two.
"If there's less than 2 waffles in the box, it's a girl; and more than 3 waffles it's a boy!"
"What if it's exactly two or three?"
"It's...umm...undefined for now."
"Oh boy." I handed her a plate of waffles.
"Mwa ha ha ha ha ha!" she laughed then attempted to pick up the waffles with her hands. "HOT! OWWW! Why didn't you warn me they were hot Carl?!"
"I thought it was common sense to not pick them up when they're right out of the toaster oven."
"Carl, Carl Carl,"
"My name is Carlie, and you better not where it out."
"Whoa, that'd make a cool song...anyway, you've known me long enough to know I have no common sense! Duh!"
"Oh yes, stupid me." I said smacking my forehead with my hand.
"It's ok Carl, we all have those days!"
"Some more than others." I muttered under my breath.
"What was that?"
"Nothing." she continued eating her waffles with her fingers despite the fact the I had given her a fork by now.
"You know, I think I'm just gonna call your mom to umm...uhh...bye." and I ran out of the kitchen. I heard her shouting something about her over-night bag and Billie Joe and Mike, but ignored it...on purpose.
I stopped when I saw Spunky, my dog, laying on the floor. I began to hatch an evil plan. Bwa ha ha ha ha!
"Spunky! You want some waffles? Huh, you do? Well come on then, let's go get those waffles!" I said in that weird voice people use when talking to their pets. He just gave me a 'you-deranged-person-why-are-you-talking-to-me-like-that' look.
"I'll race you!"
Well, that worked. I pretended to start running and he got up and ran to the kitchen. Even he knows where the kitchen is! I was really left out of this circle!
"AHHHH! THERE'S A DOG IN HERE! YOU NEVER SAID ANTHING ABOUT A DOG IN THE CONTRACT!" I heard Sydney yelling. I went into the kitchen and leaned against the doorway.
"There was no contract..."
"So." she began eating her waffles again, only now she was sitting Indian style on the counter.
"Oh yeah, this is Spunky, he's my dog."
"So I've seen." she mumbled between bites. "Wait, did you call Mike, or Billie, or Ed, no not Ed, or Cheyenne, or Delilah, or Brittany, or George?"
"Syd, George is a table...I don't think tables have telephone numbers."
"Sure they do! Haven't you ever been to a truck stop where there's a phone at the booth?! Come on, even I knew about those!"
"Those aren't...never mind."
"CALL!" she shouted, causing waffle bits to spray at me. Luckily I ducked fast enough to avoid the majority of the spray.
"Why don't you! There's a phone right behind you...besides you know their numbers, not me."
"Fine then I will!" and she leaned over picking up the phone. Then, after swallowing a whole waffle I swear, she started mumbling different numbers and names. Eventually Syd began dialing a number. You wanna hear what I heard? Well you going to anyway:
Syd- Hi! Is Mike there?! I need to talk to him!
Pause
Syd- Oh ok, well, tell him to come over Carl's house if you see him. He'll know what I'm talking about. Tell him it was Syd who left the message.
Pause
Syd- Ok then thanks bye!
"I had the wrong number," she said sadly. I couldn't help it, I was in stitches on the floor. Well, not literally, because I only have stitches in my head, but you get the idea.
